Sleepless in Ponyvill
Slowly my tired eyes blinked open, and with them a heavy sigh. Waking up was always cruddy, but it had become worse when I arrived in ponyville. Going from nights of nightmares to the nightmare of life in a foreign body just made existing all the worse..
Reaching up, I rubbed the tiredness from my eyes but paused, in the darkness from my covered eyes, I felt around my face with my hooves...only they weren't hooves...they were hands!
Jumping up in bed, I uncover my eyes and look at my hands, gasping as I look in shock to find...I have hands.. my hands! Looking over myself, it's not just my hands but all of me! I'm me again!! No more nightmare pony!!
Wait...slowly I feel under my blanket in a private area finding another once lost familiarity returned, making me almost cry tears of joy. Everything was back! I needed to tell the girls! Life in Equestria could finally be looking up!
Jumping from bed, I hurried out of the room, crashing to the floor as I tried to walk on all fours, but my arms being shorter than my legs made it a hard landing, forgetting I could finally return to walking upright. I pushed myself up and headed out and down the stairs.
First Twilight, get the nerding out out of the way, then mayb-
"Morning Blake."
"Morning mom", then maybe Fluttershy?-....I froze in place at the door and slowly turned to the source of the greeting, seeing my mother on the couch looking at me curiously, I felt myself almost pass out, my mom...Was here?? How the heck did she get here?!
Finally, taking in my surroundings, I realized this...Was not my pony vill home, no...this was my house...On earth! "What...What's going on?"
"What do you mean sweetie?" My mom asked, confused.
"I.. you... Did I get really sick a couple of days ago?" I asked.
"Sick? No unless you were hiding it.. are you feeling alright?" She asked, now worried.
" No no...I'm...fine... " I muttered, falling into deep thought. Last time I was here I was sick for a day...now though it's like...it never happened, it wasn't possible it was all a dream...right? Looking at my hands once more and then my mother, I walked over and hugged her tightly.
My mom blinked surprised but hugged me back nonetheless.
"I missed you so much... " I said, not breaking the hug.
"What do you mean? I didn't go anywhere? "
"I just... Had a bad dream.. "
"Well... I'm glad it's over then Blake, think some breakfast would help? " She asked and I nodded, breaking the hug before following her to the kitchen.
I was then treated to a breakfast I hadn't had in a long time, nothing spectacular but definitely incredible with the familiar taste of my mom's cooking. With a content sigh, I leaned back in my chair just enjoying everything familiar...
"If you're feeling better sweetie, think you could get ready for school? " My mother asked
I blinked, school? Oh my god! School!! I jumped up smiling, hurrying upstairs to get ready. Not once in my teen life had I been excited about school, but now? Now I can't wait! I couldn't wait to sit in a boring class surrounded by more annoying students!
Hurrying back down after a shower and a new pair of clothes, I hopped in my mom's car as she drove me there. That lack of a license now more apparent. Maybe I should try and get it, just do all the things I thought I'd lost when becoming a pony.
Soon enough, the drive ended with the school coming into sight. Giving my mom a kiss on the cheek and one more hug, I hurried off to my day of learning. Entering the school halls, I went to my locker and struggled to open it, the lock always stuck but nothing was gonna ruin my mood. Tossing my stuff into the locker, I headed for my first class.
Plopping down in my seat, I smiled and waited for the class to start. Other students filed in. I focus on a friend of mine, "Hey Dylan".
"Sup Blake", he sits in the seat by mine.
"Isn't it a great day?" I smiled.
He stared at me for a moment "What drugs did you do..? "
" What? No! I'm just happy is all" I shrugged.
"riiiight..."
Shaking my head, I smiled, looking forward only to raising a brow as I saw a girl I hadn't entered the class. Her hair was dyed a light blue color while she wore darker blue and black clothing, more goth-like in appearance, making her only stand out more as there wasn't a goth girl in this class, that's second period...
"Hey Dylan, who's she? " I gestured to her as she took a seat in the back of the class.
"Who?" Dylan asks.
I'm about to point her out when the teacher enters and I shut myself up. Even in a good mood, I know this teacher is a stickler for talking in class.
Class continues as I sit listening and taking notes, a lot more diligently than I would have in the past, yet...my mind could not stop thinking of the girl... something about her was just...strange...
Glancing back, I find her blocked by other sitting students. Looking to the front where the teacher was focused, I slowly began leaning back in my chair to see around the students. Suddenly, the blue-haired girl came into sight...glaring at me.
I jumped and my chair fell backwards with a loud clatter as I hit the floor, some students gasped, most laughed, I groaned and slowly picked myself back up.
"Blake, if your going to try and get attention, I'll suggest you do it in the principal's office" the teacher growled.
"Sorry sir...worn happen again" I huff and sir back down hanging my head.
"Nice one there" Dylan whispers with a smirk.
"Shut it…floors just slippery.." I made an excuse as I pouted.
Picking my pencil back up, I go back to taking notes, only for my pencil to lightly clatter to the desk. I blinked and looked at my hand flexing my fingers...that was...weird. Picking it up once more, I go to write only for it to slip out of my fingers once more and clatter. I grab it again, holding it tightly as I start writing, it's slipping in my hand, and it feels like my grip loosening before it slips free again.
"BLAKE! Do I need to repeat myself??" The teacher growled.
"N-no sir, my pencil is just slippery" I replied nervously.
"No excuses, I hear one more disruption of my class from you. I'll be sending you to the principal's office" the teacher threatened.
"Yes sir..." I focused back onto my pencil and go to grab it, only to freeze as the appendage which reaches to the pencil is not my hand, it's a hoof...a dark blue almost black furred hoof, one I recognize instantaneously 'no no no, not now come on' I grab the pencil with my other hand and wrap my pony wrist...ankle? Around it as I grab my changed arm to steady myself as I try to continue my test, the graphite making sharp shapes as I try to write in a way I never have.
The letters were different sizes and mostly over-sized as I tried to stay on the line, these questions were hard, I never was good at math...wait... wasn't this English? And I thought I was taking notes..?
No no can't get distracted, I needed to get this done. Just a few more questions to go...
17. 3ab + 4ac - 2ad = -(3ab - 4ac + 2ad)
True
False
18. Irene is N years old. If Tom is twice as old, which of the following algebraic statements shows his age now?
a. 2N
b. 2N + X
c. 2 - N
d. N - 2
19. Solve X where 5X = 20.
a. 4
b. 5
c. 10
d. 15
20. Solve X where X - 5 = 15.
a. 10
b. 15
c. 20
d. 25
21. A father gave 500 bits to his two sons. He gave X bits to one son. Which of the following expressions correctly shows the amount he gave to the other son.
a. $500 + X
b. $500 ÷ X
c. $500 x X
d. $500 - X
22. Which earth pony leader was important to the war of Coltinfield?
a. Rainstone
b. Cobaltlight
c. Cindermark
d. Flinthoof
I blinked at the test as my brain struggled to find an answer. First math, now history?? I glanced over to Dylan "do you know the answer to twenty-two??" I whispered.
"Shh man you're gonna get us in trouble" he whispered, trying to avoid the teachers' wrath.
I looked back at my test swallowing nervously, I then tensed as a tightness formed on my back, my shirt getting tighter and tighter as something pushed out from my back but was restrained by my shirt "" come in please", I pleaded in a whisper.
He huffed, glancing about before tearing a small slip of paper and scribbled on it before quickly tossing it over.
" Thank youu " I quickly unfolded it with one hand with a relieved smile...only for it to drop, on the paper was...well just gibberish, there were letters he recognized and letters he didn't sprawled out in what could be a word. But it was unreadable, I looked to Dylan confused as this was not the time to play a joke but I blinked in surprise as his own test had the same gibberish all over it, I looked around at other students tests and it was all the same, fearfully I looked down at my own and saw the very same.
Was I having a stroke?? What was going on?? I just needed to get this test done and get to the nurses' office. Maybe it was stress? I grabbed my pencil once more and began trying to answer the gibberish on my paper, some words going all the way to the edge of the page and stopping, some more even having what would be answers to choose from.
Trying to do the best I could, I suddenly felt my shoe slip off my foot and thud to the floor. Peeking under my desk, I found my socked foot now looking more like a large stump, slowly the leg shape bending to an inhuman shape.
Swallowing nervously again, I tried to return my focus ro my test, just gotta finish it, just gotta finish it...
Trying to write, I began to feel my pants tightening in the sides, tensing up I winced and squirmed. I felt my hips and thighs flaring out, god damn...fricking thick pony! I hunch over as the pants tighten to the point of digging into my hips before the button pops free, giving immediate relief.
A student ahead of him winding a button smacked him in the back of the head, gulping I focused on my test to elude suspicion. Returning to my attempt to answer the test, I heard a loud ripping noise from my back, as suddenly two large feathered wings erupted from my back, the right one smacking the wall and the left being narrowly avoided by Dylan.
"Blake! I've had enough of this! Go down to the principal's office this instant!!" The teacher roared in anger.
"No no please m-my test I-I need to-" my body stretched and pulled, shifting from my human self into the large equine one as my desk scraped across the floor loudly as my body pushed it away from the large form.
Students turn, looking not in shock or surprise but annoyance at their tests being interrupted, their gazes judging and angered.
I futilely paw at my pencil with my hoof only for it to roll off the desk and I follow it as I lose balance hitting the floor. I look around in panic and those around me stretch upwards like towers as their human guises melt away into dark shadowed shapes with bright white piercing eyes staring down, I shrink down into myself seeing them in fear, looking around for any familiar friendly faces, but not even Dylan here anymore, replaced by his own shadow demon. My head pounding in my skull as a headache rages within, fighting with everything to break free.
My panicked slitted eyes soon land on a stand out from the walls of judging shadows, the goth girl...she's still herself but looks with the same judging glare...
I stare pleadingly and fearfully at the same time before, suddenly the tiled floor beneath me falls and I am dragged with as I see the shadows rush forward and consume my sight.
I jumped awake gasping loudly as my heart races in my chest, a cold sweat soaking my fur as I panted...I quickly looked around the room, finding the familiar ponyville house I'd been given. Looking down, I pull away the tangled sheets, finding the female pony form of nightmare moon I've yet to get used to.
A tight knot, twisting in my gut upon seeing the form below me, feeling the sweat sticking to and dampening the fur that covered me, my nose's stronger sense of smell taking in the scent of this body's wet fur mixed with sweat, that knot in my stomach twisting tighter and tighter till it finally snapped sending me leaping from the bed, bursting into the bathroom and scrambling to the toilet where I empty my stomach's contents into the ivory bowl.
I have as my stomach tightens to push everything out, the water of the bowl splashing across my muzzle as my lower half is sprawled out across the floor, wings lying limply beside me and hair getting wet from the toilet water.
Panting and choking back air I wince as my stomach tenses to empty more than it has but couldn't as it was already empty. Clenching my eyes shut, I slowly slid down to the floor below the toilet...
Lying there even unable to see myself, I could feel everything alien to me. The larger form, the heavier feet and hands, longer limbs, wings on my back, tail trying to worm it's way between my legs in subconscious fear, reminding me of another alien feature of this body...Its gender...disgust filling mixing with rage and contempt...
I hated this body... everything about it reminded me of what wasn't mine and that I was a prisoner in it, forced to deal with its issues.
Shakily standing, I flushed the toilet and dragged my hooves over to the mirror as I stared into it. The eyes that stared back weren't mine...but they held how I felt, tired, sad, angry...disgusted, the eyes scanned the face of a female pony, fur damp and clinging together, my nose twitching as I smelt the smell which revolted me... I smelt like a wet horse....an animal…
My teeth gritted as I stared at the female animal...before I suddenly threw one of my hooves up and slammed into the glass, shattering it into a spiderweb of cracks, small pieces falling into the sink as now looking into it I saw a mess of reflections, a face practically indiscernible in the shattered mirror.
Looking at the hoof, I saw it wasn't even damaged, didn't even hurt...could anything even hurt me? I could drown...but physically, nothing actually made me bleed...my eyes glanced at one of the shards of glass in the sink before quickly looking away...
'no... I wasn't going to do that...' my mind was exhausted, sleep hadn't given me any rest, my head was full of a mess of emotions. Turning, I left the bathroom and crawled back onto the bed, plopping my heavy body down onto the blankets, cringing as my wet fur met the wet bed 'God I hate this body...'
Lying there, I didn't plan to sleep, but my body was tired and a bed, even if wet from nightmare cold sweat, meant relief from the ache of my muscles, my free ear not trapped beneath my head swiveled to listen to the sound of the night and the house, quiet...
At least in the dark I couldn't see myself...And as long as I didn't move much I wouldn't feel the difference of my body...would this feeling ever go away? Was I always going to feel this contempt for myself...this body? How would I live like this? Being this wrong broken thing...?
I curled close to myself, limbs hugging tightly to my body as I moved into a fetal position, I just wanted to feel normal...Happy…
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Glad you got your inspiration back! Besides grammar and spelling, it looks good!
Also, thanks for the chairs!
11622742
Thanks! And yeah I know there's a lot of errors but I'm going to focus on just fixing the ones I notice when writing so I can do rinue working on the next chapters
Congrats for getting that writing drive once more. Hope you'll continue writing a lot more chapters.
Not gonna lie though, you really need to beta the chapter first, because it's rife with grammar, typo, and capitalization issues. I personally have no problem with it since I'm an ESL, but it would be grating for people with English as first language.
11622828
Thank you, I just wanted to get a new chapter out so everyone who's been waiting can have something.
A tf luna story came back to life? Well....
Body dysphoria and depression? That's a good choice.
11622848
Yeah, not continuing it has been eating away at me a long time but I couldn't get any inspiration so it sat in the back burner.
Noticed a lot of gender change stories don't really deal with that for more than a chapter or two, and rarely one focuses on the idea entirely.
So I wanted this to be one of those rarer stories that deals with it, looked up a lot of examples of what gender dysphoria is like and used that as a base for many ideas.
11622853
I suppose most that do write about the change in the body of the opposite sex don't want to focus on the negative because it's honestly depressing. You are doing the topic remarkably justice. I feel for Blake, there's nothing worse than having to live with that kind of pain.
11622853
Good luck, hope you can pulled that off. Hard AF to get that right.
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/f/e4da3124-9cab-4d7a-98ef-9f502812ab63/d9avwti-97e81cfc-cb4b-4e43-ab5b-91892f34bc44.gif?token=eyJ0eXAiOiJKV1QiLCJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiJ9.eyJzdWIiOiJ1cm46YXBwOjdlMGQxODg5ODIyNjQzNzNhNWYwZDQxNWVhMGQyNmUwIiwiaXNzIjoidXJuOmFwcDo3ZTBkMTg4OTgyMjY0MzczYTVmMGQ0MTVlYTBkMjZlMCIsIm9iaiI6W1t7InBhdGgiOiJcL2ZcL2U0ZGEzMTI0LTljYWItNGQ3YS05OGVmLTlmNTAyODEyYWI2M1wvZDlhdnd0aS05N2U4MWNmYy1jYjRiLTRlNDMtYWI1Yi05MTg5MmYzNGJjNDQuZ2lmIn1dXSwiYXVkIjpbInVybjpzZXJ2aWNlOmZpbGUuZG93bmxvYWQiXX0.5gVXB2lnDn_-GQHAvvLKB9x2kkWtTxiM4FJzsvi21vo
We needed more good pony transformation stories that's not an OC or Chysalis.
11622866
Thank you, that is relieving to hear I'm able to do it justice.
11622869
Yeah, as I've come to find out.
Indeed it is, chrysalis is a obvious choice due to her being something that changes form so for a random person to be put in that place it's almost poetic, won't lie when I say I've had ideas of doing a fic with her in place of nightmare, but lunar soul has more work for it.
11622884
I think using a language model can help.
Told it to pretend to be a patient that has body dysphoria that come to meet you, the specialized therapist.
And just asked it how it felt.
You can add little quirk here and there, like it also felt alienated because it's an immigrant from different culture.
11622909
Interesting, never thought to do that
11622912
Don't even think about doing that. And not just because it's not allowed on Fimfiction (Wanderer D made a blog about that in regards to co-authoring and AI). It's alright to bounce ideas off of it, but it lacks heart and emotion.
11622924
Yeah I didn't really want to, I don't think it'd help me nor would I even have the slightest clue as to how to use it
11622912
language models are capable to provided the "learning by doing" by pretending to be a human and interact with user, and it that can be a good experience for your writing.
Want to write a romance story, but you yourself never had experienced dating anyone? Then let's it pretend to be someone you're dating with and dated by yourself. Bonus point is that, unlike a real human, you can throw it away after you're done with it.
Want to write story about a protagonist who was a pilot? Told it to pretend to be a flight instructor and let's it teach you how to fly and airplane.
a story about teacher who hate kids? told it to pretend to be a classroom full of annoying student and you, the user, is the teacher, told it to ask random annoying question and felt it yourself, get into the character's mindset.
The protagonist got caught by a cultist? you get the idea, let's it pretend to be a murderous serial killer.
See? learning by doing.
It's definitely help me alot, as it's the equalizer for me to used against people who 'learning by watching', 'learning by listening', and 'learning by reading'
11622924
This is literally the "bounce ideas off of it" because I don't know what's else you mean by that.
I proposed to used it to get idea how a mental dysphoria person felt by experiencing it firsthand, not just copy-paste any return prompt from it.
This is no different than took a group learning class and play pretend game with your classmate.
And what's the alternative? go harassed actual person? read reddit comment that might be a karma farming account?
A language model is good enough.
From my experience spend years reading 10k+ webnovels, the thing that chatgpt generate is more creative than half of fanfic oneshots I have read.
Yes, I did a blind test session with auto gpt, let's it generate a bunch of oneshots and mixed it with real stories on fanfiction,
And novels in fanfiction are far better than my guilty pleasure that are wattpad naruto fanfics.
This technology had existed for a long time now. The reason chatGPT become mainstream is that it was the first one that are both easy to use and good enough to be used in real world.
That's why I believed it's a good enough to be used as learning material now, because it's so good that even most of real humans cannot differentiate it.
When will this doom and gloom end?
11622951
There will be moments where Blake is happy, but this isn't something they can get over easily, their whole life has been turned upside down, it will take time.
11622945
That's not really my style or capability, I think id just her too confused really, thanks for the information though, might be something I play around with in the future in case I need to bounce and idea of of ro see how it interprets it.
11622945
The whole point of not using an AI co-author is to come up with your own ideas. By 'bounce ideas off of it' I meant using it as a general idea, not to give you scenarios to use. Because those wouldn't be your ideas anymore.
Even that might not give you actual insight into how a person feels without mentally putting yourself in their position by empathizing with real people instead of AI.
There are plenty of people sharing their experiences genuinely. It doesn't matter if it is Reddit or Youtube or what else have you.
Still against the rules of fimfiction. And it doesn't have much to do with creativity when a machine does it for you based on prompts.
Why am I not surprised you enjoy that garbage on Wattpad?
This will be my last comment on this thread, as it no longer about this story, or provided the author any value.
DM me or something?
11623023
First paragraph:
I already made comparison with play pretend games in classroom. Are you saying that using ideas you got from playing a pretend game is "give you scenarios to use" and
"wouldn't be your ideas" somehow?
plagiarism and inspiration is a very hard line to draw, but the fact is that everybody has to get inspirations from somewhere.
And I think crystalized ideas from pretended situations counted.
Second paragraph:
You cannot actually felt what that person felt without having the same problem as that person, period.
It's a problem that normal people cannot experience.
You can try to make equivalent, but it will never be the same, or even close.
Saying otherwise is disingenuous at best.
That's why I proposed the language model to take the position of patient and user as the therapist, because that's the best a normal person can do. Observed and mimicked
Third paragraph:
As I stated, how do you know it's real or not? How do you know if the youtuber add lies and censor out somethings in order to make the video more accessible or for monetization?
Fourth paragraph:
fimfiction is against using a language model to help you write, nothing about help you learn new things, crystalized into knowledge, and implement into story by yourself.
It's no different than google search.
Last paragraph:
That's an argument doesn't add anything other than stroke your own ego.
"Why am I not surprised a purist reactionary like you is a cancerous elitist?"
Ok I understand that Luna hates that Nightmare Moon is back and fear what "She" might do, but did she really have to do Blake dirty and turn his hopeful dream of being at home and on Earth into a f*cking nightmare about "her" turning into Nightmare Moon and reminding "her" that "she" isn't home anymore. God damn it Luna couldn't you just observe and not interfere with Blake's dream, which by the way proves "he" isn't the Nightmare Moon you thought "he" was. Or is your Hate soooo blinding that you can't see that this isn't who you think they are. Come now Luna you know people/ponies can't lie about who they are in their Subconscious mind. This should have been a red flag to you that things aren't as they appear on the surface. BUT NO you had to go f*ck with his dream by not only interfering with his dream by entering his dream disguised as student but ACTUALLY antagonizing him by glaring hatefully at "him" when fell over and starting to transform. Why, Luna, why?
I feel really sorry for Blake. He get forcefully brought to Equestria, is forced to be in the body of one of Equestria's feared villians (who by all accounts should be safely lock away in Luna's mind)! Then Luna being hostle to "him" in his own f*cking dream where "he" was genuinely happy and content. Where Luna should have realized that this wasn't the Nightmare Moon she thought it was, just a lost kind human soul trapped in the BODY of Nightmare Moon. Not only does Blake hate being Nightmare Moon he has to now deal with Body Dysmorphia being in not only a PONY body but a FEMALE pony body. I feel real sad and hurt for him
11622742
Please give specific examples when you mention grammar no one ever gets what's wrong with grammar when they just say that grammar is wrong
11623318
Capitalisation, some minor punctuation errors.
Nothing that makes it unreadable and unenjoyable.
11623434
Thank you for doing that well it's a pet peeve of mine on my own stories I've always despise when people just say grammar is wrong sometimes some people have to have it explained to them a bit more plainly than just one word so seriously thank you for making some effort towards that again it's a pet peeve of mine that's developed since I write my own stories and whenever someone says grammarly either can't give even some general specifics or just say that it's grammar you should know what you're doing
YES! A NEW CHAPTER!
I love this story and I’m so happy it’s not dead! Can’t wait for the next one.
I really like this story It's a change of atmosphere to what I usually read but it's really good
Yes! NMM story has come back to life! I seriously love these style of stories.
Can't wait for more!
11623744
11623457
I shall try to keep new chapters rolling in
Yay, an update!
Had to re-read the whole story since I had kinda forgotten what happened, though
I hope Blake can be happy again, they really need it after all the things they'd gone through.
This seems less like gender dysphoria and more akin to associating current trauma with the mc’s current body, as a means of directing confusion and frustration
11631183
It's a bit of both really, the trauma surrounding is only adding fuel to the fire that is the foreign body.
Luna has apperently a hobby of torturing others.
Luna needs to be stopped, maybe banished to her room and than banish her room to the moon