- Member Since 29th Dec, 2014
- offline last seen February 3rd
Equestriasservant
Hi, I'm just a simple guy with a love of writing, RPG, dr pepper and anything to do with MLP
Equestriasservant
Joined 29th Dec, 2014 ·
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In the English language, titles are supposed to be capitalised, as are names and the first word in a sentence.
"'I'M GINGER!'" That was the absolute best.
On another note, I agree with the doctor: "Never eat pears!" They are basically just sandy apples.
9275534
well if you bothered to read my notes at the bottom of the first chapter, you would see that this is practise for me and its an excuse to get used to my new computer which uses a different setup to my old one
as a side note, i'm using a new document app with a proper spellcheck so hopefully the words will be capitalised properly for the next few episodes
9275991
i personally don't see anything wrong with pears (even though i don't eat them much) but i get why people don't like them lol
As far as "just an idea" goes, it's not bad.
Still, the way it's put together is fairly overkill. It honestly feels like the entirety of Doctor Who 2005 was crammed into 14k words, and jumbled up a bit as it went in.
Some of the dialogue was spot-on, though. You can write the Doctor, even if it's rough around the edges - stop trying to make him sound exactly like in the series, and don't reuse sentences/ideas. This is a new Doctor, and he's a PONY. You make him! The only thing he needs to be, at the end of the day - is: a) a hero, b) brilliant, and c) mad. I loved the bit where the TARDIS wouldn't let him in, and just spat out a melted sonic with some "discouragement steam" along with it - that was new. :)