Someone grab a rifle, its Creativity hunting season!
Spike's gotta catch em all Fragmentmon!
I wonder when Creativity will fail, I mean eventual her creative scheme will be physically impossible seeing she is solely creativity and can't fathom any limit.
Heh even an emotionless pony like Logic can't resist the adorableness that is Fluttershy. Of course any one of those ponies with the puppy dog eyes is adorable... *thinks about it* HHHHHNNNNGGG *This user has suffered a heart attack and will be gone for some time*
Enjoying to see Spike taking the initiative and collect up the remaining frags. I wonder what Morality is up to. Also, love the way Big Mac is in this, so much wisdom make my head explode.
“Uh-huh. Ok, so after playing along for a day you made your move and assassinated the Diamond Dog King by…” Steadfast shivered and shook his head in disgust. “By throwing concentrated Changeling hormones on him and laughing hysterically as he was raped to death… by Changelings.”
Oh lowd I laughed. And then I thought about it more and stopped laughing. You're a bad person. *reads on* OK WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS RAPE CREATIVITY IS NOT LUST AAAAAAAA ENOUGH RAPE PLS
'Breaking the embrace, Creativity smiled at Dusty. “Heh heh, sorry love.'
I take from this that you're British? Twilight, being voiced in American (Canadian I suppose), wouldn't use 'love' in this way (it sounds super weird in my head), unless you're making Creativity British all of a sudden.
'he hadn't even read a fourth of it'
quarterquarterquarterquarterquarter
Fluttershy wouldn't be this scared, my friend. Here, she's scared beyond the loss of ability to talk just at the thought of being around ponies. In the show she's merely a little shy, with some comedic exaggeration here and there (start of Putting Your Hoof Down, for example). It actually gets a tad irksome to read her written like this. I like what you're doing with Spike, though.
'Creativity's face was neutral. “You know, screw it. Knife.”'
/groan
Yet another marvellous chapter. I get excited whenever I see this update; of all the fics I currently follow, this has to be (one of) the most interesting ideas, and your execution does it justice. Seeing 11k words had me pleased; I always enjoy a good, long chapter.
Your handling of Creativity ever has me guessing. It's easy to consider her the 'bad guy', as the opposite of Logic, especially considering the whole AJ incident. I need to remind myself that she simply upholds 'the ends justify the means' as a philosophy. It's interesting to see that she was never going to have killed AJ, and that she made the effort to make peace with her. With the ending I'm left wondering if she wants to continue on being a fragment of Twilight Sparkle, of if she wants to combine the fragments (perhaps leaving out Logic) and reshape Twi (the latter now seems more likely).
1484406 When she reaches that physical limit she'll try and push past it, no matter what tries to stop her and who gets hurt because of it. She has a failure phobia.
1485822 Derpy's not just omniscient, she's the full on omnipotent godlike package! Her clumsiness is only there to offset her power so she never reaches her full potential and becomes ruler of Equestria! That or she has some superpower-granting muffins .
1485878 Am I a bad person or is Creativity a bad character to write for? ... my brain is confused . Sorry about Creativity going over the edge like that, she is a means justify the ends kind of pony so you know can bet your life savings that if rape is the only way to get what she wants she'll do it... also she's one fucked up individual.
Nope, I am in no way British... well my probably ancestors were... I think I'm mostly Scandinavian though. That whole calling Broom 'love' thing was kind of strange, I don't know how I ended up here sort of thing. Besides, it's Creativity, she's weird like that.
You are right, I may have upped Fluttershy's shyness levels a bit to much in this chapter... curses! It was for dramatic effect I suppose and not only that but her shyness has probably not improved running around chasing rogue Twilights.
I can certainly tell you she doesn't want to be a fragment anymore, to her it's the worst possible fate to be bound subconsciously by memories and morals that aren't her own.
1487410 Bad person for making me laugh at rape. D:<
I guess you're right that this whole ordeal will have shaken Fluttershy up something good. If anything make it clear in the story that she's acting more timid due to the events (not that I don't know/haven't realised now)
Still the odd typo or mistyped word here and there, but the paragraphs are broken up from what could have been monolithic chunks like the last chapter had. Well done.
Kinda sucks that the Changeling Queen seemed to enjoy her rape while the Diamond Dog King had a far more horrifying experience during his demise. If he didn't deserve it, I have lost all hope in your fanon universe! ... At least, that's how I would have felt if Logic hadn't stood up for Spike like she did. It's about damned TIME some version of Twilight took his feelings seriously; there are far too many Rarity shipfics where he isn't addressed very well, or isn't addressed at all. I'm not gonna push you (although maybe I should since you went'n cheated us outta that Lust/dragon encounter!), but I am gonna hope you deviate further from tradition and at least stick him with a rebound filly.
As for Rainbow Dash, someone needs to give that filly a speech. She must understand that Twilight's mind is conflicting with itself and she's just adding to the conflict, and that she can't pick and choose what she likes about any single friend. Spike would probably be a good candidate, seeing as he's been the voice of reason before and definitely knows Twilight's good and bad sides better than any of them.
Your comment up there on Derpy made me think of one of the best lines from Scream 2. Derpy: “How do you know my dimwitted inexperience isn't merely a subtle form of manipulation meant to lower peoples' expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given situation?”
1489191 Yes, I am a bad person, there's a special place in hell for me... luckily I hear they have cake!
1491574 Now hey, I never said the Changeling Queen enjoyed it, I just said Creativity thought she did and Creativity (As stated before) is one fucked up individual.
It's ironic isn't it? You're happy a version of Twilight has finally stood up for Spike's feelings, and it's not even a full Twilight! ...I thought it was funny. Anyway, this story was never about romances, just stuck some in there for drama, so who knows where the whole Spike/Rarity thing is going.
This is a great story, but you are in desperate need of an editor. Your vocabulary is simply dreadful; you have incorrect words all over the place! "Than" instead of "then", "loose" instead of "lose", just to name a few.
There are groups that will help you with that sort of thing. I don't know how to find them because I've never needed them myself, so you'll have to ask someone else.
1611996 Really?! I do?! That's hilarious! Lord, why english be so hard? Well thank you kindly for telling me (I may have to look around my stories and fix those mistakes).
1634864 Be careful... they'll stare into your soul!
Interesting derpy notion.*From charlie the unicorn* "The door knows all and see's all!" "The door cand bend time and space, love and death!" "The door can see into your mind!" "The door can see into your soul!!!" "Really!?! Th-the door can do all that?!?" "Tuh. No."
Someone grab a rifle, its Creativity hunting season!
Spike's gotta catch em all Fragmentmon!
I wonder when Creativity will fail, I mean eventual her creative scheme will be physically impossible seeing she is solely creativity and can't fathom any limit.
Slipping Away - Black Sabbath
Heh even an emotionless pony like Logic can't resist the adorableness that is Fluttershy.
Of course any one of those ponies with the puppy dog eyes is adorable...
*thinks about it*
HHHHHNNNNGGG
*This user has suffered a heart attack and will be gone for some time*
Enjoying to see Spike taking the initiative and collect up the remaining frags. I wonder what Morality is up to. Also, love the way Big Mac is in this, so much wisdom make my head explode.
Derpy would be omniscient, not omnipotent.
Oh lowd I laughed. And then I thought about it more and stopped laughing. You're a bad person.
*reads on*
OK WHAT'S WITH ALL THIS RAPE
CREATIVITY IS NOT LUST
AAAAAAAA
ENOUGH RAPE PLS
I take from this that you're British? Twilight, being voiced in American (Canadian I suppose), wouldn't use 'love' in this way (it sounds super weird in my head), unless you're making Creativity British all of a sudden.
quarterquarterquarterquarterquarter
Fluttershy wouldn't be this scared, my friend. Here, she's scared beyond the loss of ability to talk just at the thought of being around ponies. In the show she's merely a little shy, with some comedic exaggeration here and there (start of Putting Your Hoof Down, for example). It actually gets a tad irksome to read her written like this. I like what you're doing with Spike, though.
/groan
Yet another marvellous chapter. I get excited whenever I see this update; of all the fics I currently follow, this has to be (one of) the most interesting ideas, and your execution does it justice. Seeing 11k words had me pleased; I always enjoy a good, long chapter.
Your handling of Creativity ever has me guessing. It's easy to consider her the 'bad guy', as the opposite of Logic, especially considering the whole AJ incident. I need to remind myself that she simply upholds 'the ends justify the means' as a philosophy. It's interesting to see that she was never going to have killed AJ, and that she made the effort to make peace with her. With the ending I'm left wondering if she wants to continue on being a fragment of Twilight Sparkle, of if she wants to combine the fragments (perhaps leaving out Logic) and reshape Twi (the latter now seems more likely).
maor pls
1484406 When she reaches that physical limit she'll try and push past it, no matter what tries to stop her and who gets hurt because of it. She has a failure phobia.
1485822 Derpy's not just omniscient, she's the full on omnipotent godlike package! Her clumsiness is only there to offset her power so she never reaches her full potential and becomes ruler of Equestria! That or she has some superpower-granting muffins .
1485878 Am I a bad person or is Creativity a bad character to write for? ... my brain is confused . Sorry about Creativity going over the edge like that, she is a means justify the ends kind of pony so you know can bet your life savings that if rape is the only way to get what she wants she'll do it... also she's one fucked up individual.
Nope, I am in no way British... well my probably ancestors were... I think I'm mostly Scandinavian though. That whole calling Broom 'love' thing was kind of strange, I don't know how I ended up here sort of thing. Besides, it's Creativity, she's weird like that.
You are right, I may have upped Fluttershy's shyness levels a bit to much in this chapter... curses! It was for dramatic effect I suppose and not only that but her shyness has probably not improved running around chasing rogue Twilights.
I can certainly tell you she doesn't want to be a fragment anymore, to her it's the worst possible fate to be bound subconsciously by memories and morals that aren't her own.
1487410 Bad person for making me laugh at rape. D:<
I guess you're right that this whole ordeal will have shaken Fluttershy up something good. If anything make it clear in the story that she's acting more timid due to the events (not that I don't know/haven't realised now)
Still the odd typo or mistyped word here and there, but the paragraphs are broken up from what could have been monolithic chunks like the last chapter had. Well done.
Kinda sucks that the Changeling Queen seemed to enjoy her rape while the Diamond Dog King had a far more horrifying experience during his demise. If he didn't deserve it, I have lost all hope in your fanon universe! ... At least, that's how I would have felt if Logic hadn't stood up for Spike like she did. It's about damned TIME some version of Twilight took his feelings seriously; there are far too many Rarity shipfics where he isn't addressed very well, or isn't addressed at all. I'm not gonna push you (although maybe I should since you went'n cheated us outta that Lust/dragon encounter!), but I am gonna hope you deviate further from tradition and at least stick him with a rebound filly.
As for Rainbow Dash, someone needs to give that filly a speech. She must understand that Twilight's mind is conflicting with itself and she's just adding to the conflict, and that she can't pick and choose what she likes about any single friend. Spike would probably be a good candidate, seeing as he's been the voice of reason before and definitely knows Twilight's good and bad sides better than any of them.
Your comment up there on Derpy made me think of one of the best lines from Scream 2. Derpy: “How do you know my dimwitted inexperience isn't merely a subtle form of manipulation meant to lower peoples' expectations, thereby enhancing my ability to effectively maneuver within any given situation?”
1484406
Anger: “Logic Season!”
Logic: “Anger Season!”
Anger: “Logic Season!”
Logic: “Anger Season!”
Anger: “Logic Season!”
Logic: “Logic Season!”
Anger: “Anger Season, FIRE!”
1489191 Yes, I am a bad person, there's a special place in hell for me... luckily I hear they have cake!
1491574 Now hey, I never said the Changeling Queen enjoyed it, I just said Creativity thought she did and Creativity (As stated before) is one fucked up individual.
It's ironic isn't it? You're happy a version of Twilight has finally stood up for Spike's feelings, and it's not even a full Twilight! ...I thought it was funny. Anyway, this story was never about romances, just stuck some in there for drama, so who knows where the whole Spike/Rarity thing is going.
This is a great story, but you are in desperate need of an editor. Your vocabulary is simply dreadful; you have incorrect words all over the place! "Than" instead of "then", "loose" instead of "lose", just to name a few.
There are groups that will help you with that sort of thing. I don't know how to find them because I've never needed them myself, so you'll have to ask someone else.
That Derpy...HER EYES SEE EVERYTHING!
1611996 Really?! I do?! That's hilarious! Lord, why english be so hard? Well thank you kindly for telling me (I may have to look around my stories and fix those mistakes).
1634864 Be careful... they'll stare into your soul!
Interesting derpy notion.*From charlie the unicorn* "The door knows all and see's all!" "The door cand bend time and space, love and death!" "The door can see into your mind!" "The door can see into your soul!!!" "Really!?! Th-the door can do all that?!?" "Tuh. No."