Age Is But A Number
As the girls sat gathered around a table at the Coinky Dink Diner, Rainbow let her displeasure for an event that had taken place earlier that evening be known.
“I can’t believe I got carded for an R rated movie,” she huffed, folding her arms. “Do I not look my age or something?”
The gang had went to see a horror movie that had just came out that friday. While buying their tickets, Rainbow Dash had been asked to show I.D. and judging the sour look she had on her face since it happened, she wasn’t too happy about it.
“I don't think it’s just you,” Twilight Sparkle tried to reason with her. “It’s just a policy.”
“A policy that they only used on me,” Dash responded indignantly. “They didn’t ask any of you guys!”
“Maybe it’s because we carry ourselves maturely. Truth be told Rainbow Dash, you aren’t exactly the most, ahem, well behaved of us.” Rarity said, putting a hand on the rainbow haired girl’s.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow demanded. “Are you saying I don’t act my age?”
“Well...” Sunset trailed. “You do tend to pull pranks a lot.”
“And make childish jokes,” Applejack chimed in.
“Wha—Pinkie Pie does the same thing!” Dash protested.
“Yeah, but, that kind of stuff is expected from her.” Sunset told her, pointing to the exuberant girl who was currently piling on a mountain of whipped cream on to her milkshake.
“Well what about you?! How come you don’t get carded or whatever?!” Dash shouted, pointing a finger into Sunset’s chest.
“Because I’m actually over seventeen?” Sunset responded, confused.
“Wait, how exactly old are you, Sunset dearie?” Rarity asked, curious. “We’re all the same age except for Fluttershy. Are you older than Fluttershy?”
Sunset nodded. “I’m older than all of you.”
“Sugarcube, how old are you?” Applejack asked, leaning in closer.
Sunset pursed her lips. “I’m...five.”
Sunset’s confession hung in the air like a bad stench.
“I’m sorry, what?” Dash barked. “You’re five, and in high school?! How does that even work?!”
“Didn’t you just get your license too?” Twilight asked, her head tilted.
“Easy. I’m twenty four.” Sunset replied.
“But didn’t you just say you were five?! I know I’m bad at math but I can’t be that bad!” Pinkie Pie said, counting on her fingers. “I really gotta lay off the sugar!”
“No like, here, in this world, I’m five. But back in Equestria, I’m twenty four.” Sunset explained.
The girls around her blinked.
“I don’t get it,” Applejack confessed.
“Me neither,” Fluttershy admitted.
“Okay so basically,” Sunset said, churning her wrist, “horses in this world age faster than humans. One horse year is equal to six human years. Same thing goes for Equestria. So if I was two years old here, I would already be thirteen.”
“I’m not exactly following, Sunset,” Rarity said, eyebrows furrowing. “I thought the logic of our world doesn’t apply to yours?”
Sunset shrugged. “It doesn’t. I’m just stating it so that you can understand. Five years in horse years is twenty four human years. I look eighteen because my human counterpart is eighteen.”
“So...how old is Princess Twilight?” Twilight Sparkle asked her, tone fascinated yet confused.
“She’s also in her mid twenties.”
“I—I can’t, my brain hurts,” Rainbow groaned, banging her head on the table.
“I agree with Rainbow Dash I can’t quite wrap my head around this either,” Applejack said, blushing a little.
“Try not to think about it too much. We’d be here all night if you did. There’s no exact science to it. Equines just age faster than humans. But because this world is constricted to the laws of its own reality, the portal physically changes your outward appearance to replicate the age of your counterpart.”
“Fascinating!” Twilight gasped. “So our counterparts in your world are—”
“All older, yes. Though I was a grown mare when Twilight was still a filly, so she could be anywhere between twenty and twenty two.” Sunset said, her hand on her chin. “Last time I talked to Twilight, she told me your counterparts all own businesses, and live on their own, so yeah, it’s safe to say that if they came through they’d all just look like you.”
“But what about Starlight Glimmer?” Fluttershy asked. “She seemed older than even you.”
Sunset shrugged. “That’s honestly a mystery to me. The ages don’t exactly correlate well so who knows how old any of us really are.”
Twilight rubbed her chin in thought. “Very fascinating indeed. If you were actually seventeen, at least in horse years, then you would be a gray haired old woman. But because your age has to correlate with the age of your counterpart, your body aged backward to match the human aging period of a teenager.” she clapped her hands together. “May I run some tests on your blood and DNA sometime?” she asked, hopeful.
Sunset blinked. “Weird question, but sure. I’m actually kind of curious myself what’s actually going on with my body.”
“I have no idea what’s going on!” Pinkie said, smiling.
“You and me both,” Fluttershy agreed, Rarity and Applejack nodding along with her.
“Wait, guys,” Rainbow started, slamming her hands on the table, drawing the attention of other patrons around them. “If Sunset’s twenty four, do you know what that means?”
Applejack furrowed her eyebrows. “Uh, she can rent a car?”
Dash smacked her forehead. “No! It means she can buy booze for us!”
“Rainbow I’m still a teenager on the outside,” Sunset reminded her, rolling her eyes. “Getting carded at a movie and getting carded at a liquor store are two different things,”
“Sunset’s right,” Twilight said. “She wouldn’t make it past the door.”
“Of course she would!” Dash argued, pointing at Sunset. “Yeah okay, she looks eighteen because science blah blah,” she said, churning her wrist. “But she still looks older than the rest of us! I bet with a fake ID she could get into anywhere and get us anything!”
“Anything?” Pinkie repeated, gasping.
“Anything,” Rainbow repeated back, waving her hands in a grand gesture.
“Don’t fill her mind with such grandeur,” Rarity scolded, putting her hands over Pinkie’s ears. “With her track record, who knows what she’d come up with,”
“I’m just saying,” Rainbow said, sitting back down. “She looks the part, if she acts like it, she’s our ticket into getting the things we want.”
“Such a lovely concept of friendship you have,” Rarity told her, rolling her eyes. “Besides, it’s Sunset’s choice, and I doubt she’ll—”
“I’ll do it.”
Rarity’s mouth gaped. “Sunset darling. You don’t have to—”
Sunset put her hand up to stop the fashionista before standing up. “I wanna see where this goes. Plus, I’d never pass up a chance to prove Rainbow Dash wrong. C’mon, let’s see if this works.”
Fluttershy cried into Rarity’s shoulder as they all sat in chairs at the Canterlot City Police Station. Turns out Sunset was able to prove Rainbow wrong, but had gotten all the girls in trouble in the process.
“Since you all are minors, we’re going to let your parents deal with you,” The portly officer told them gruffly.
“Gee, thanks.” Rainbow responded dryly, folding her arms. “I’m going to be grounded for a month.”
“You have no one to blame but yourself,” Applejack told her angrily. “Granny’s gonna tan my hide the minute she finds out I was trying to drink underage.”
“We’re only in this mess because you convinced Sunset she could do it,” Twilight reminded the rainbow haired girl curtly, her mouth pressed into a thin line. Didn’t matter who came to get her, whether it was her parents, her sister in law, or her brother, she wasn’t going to hear the end of it. And she had the least involvement!
“We almost got away with it!” Rainbow reasoned. “...Until she showed him her school ID.”
“Well what else was I supposed to do?!” Sunset shot at her. “He expected me to show him something to prove my age!”
“Yeah! A state license or your driver's license! Why did you think he’d want to know you were a student at Canterlot High?!” Rainbow shouted back.
Pinkie folded her arms. “I’m going to be throwing parties from my room for weeks because of this! Do you know how hard it is to throw a party for just yourself? Especially a surprise party?!”
Rarity sighed. “There goes my shopping trip to the city.” she whined, her lip trembling. “And there was so much I wanted to get for this season.” she pointed to Rainbow Dash. “This is all your fault!”
“Hey—” Dash was going to respond when her phone pinged from a text message. “No way! Flash just texted me that our favorite band is playing at a bar next month! Sunset, do you think—”
“No!”
“Urgh!”
“Absolutely not!”
“Give it a rest, Dash!”
Rainbow sat back in her seat, dejected. “Fine, jeez. What a bunch of babies.”
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Ah.. The rare 'That 70's Show' Reference in it's natural habitat
Wait I'm confused, what did they actually get arrested for?
8885041
Trying to buy beer while underage.
8885052
I don't know all the laws and it might vary depending on where you live but I don't think trying to buy beer is an arrestable offense. That would be a really stupid law and a waste of the police's time.
8885058
They may not be arrested, just being detained while their guardians come pick them up.
Another question we still dunno the answer to, how long do ponies live to be? 50? 100? 500?
I thought that she was going to say she was 5 because her body was created 5 years ago when she first went through the portal.
I like how you explained the age thing, and that you took the time to go into the actual math of it all.
But personally, I'm sticking to my headcanon:
The old magic used a spectrum of six years in its calculations and made a rough guesstimate of Sunset's equivalent biological maturity, thus spitting her out as a younger teenager. Same thing for Twilight's first visit, only more towards the mid-teens.
But, now that Twilight has made her modifications to the portal, the new magic can calculate a more direct equivalency. Only reason it didn't in Rainbow Rocks is because it was working with old data from the old magic.
I'd wager a guess that if Starlight and the Champions visited now, after the portal has had time to get accustomed to the new magic, they'd come out more as young adults in their early twenties.
Wait...if Sunset is 24, and Princess Twilight is 22, then how was Sunset a full grown mare when Twilight was a filly???
So if the cops are waiting for their parents to pick them up from the Police Station, what's gonna happen to Sunset?
8885073
At least past the two century mark, given Granny Smith predates Ponyville.
So...does this mean everypony we care about in Equestria will be dead in a few Canterlot High years due to old age, or...?
.
”You’re pointing at the reason,” replied Sunset with a smirk.
Sunset's age & her math cuz I'm confused as hell, but seeing them getting in trouble cuz of Rainbow as hilarious!
8885507
HA!
8885525
Each horse year is six human years
8885295
Nah it just means they age weirdly
lol Dash get good nerd
-------------------------
She (or change the period to a comma)
the
8885701
But when do they finish school? Are they super fast learning machines that can get ten years of education in two or so? Do they live for two hundred years as adults after some four years of infancy/adolescence? What about college? Or did I get it completely wrong?
8887153
Do you know how long this kept me up? I spent three days contemplating every aspect of this
What would they do with Sunset? I mean, they can't send her back to Equestria. I'm genuinely stumped here with that.
9006678
Same.
I'm still trying to figure out how Sunset got a driver's licence.
8887181
I thought Sunset said she was five just to mess with them and playoff the fact that she's a pony.
I did some calculations a while back and came to the conclusion that Equestrian time is three times that as human world time. Based off this model:
1. In straight Equestrian time, Sunset is in her mid-thirties. When you take into account her time in the human world, she's in her early twenties (I placed her at twenty-three).
2. Sunset is thirteen years older than Twilight. But, Twilight has since caught up so now they're two to three years apart. They will be the same age at twenty-four, after which, Twilight will become older.
8885115
either Celestia or the real Sunset's parents
10634895
Many people also interpret that Shining Armor in the human world is a police officer, so we can say that he must've have pulled some strings for Sunset.