IKnowWhatToDo
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- The One With The Crystal · 33k words · 14 1 · 727 views
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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No, after reading the second paragraph of the FIRST chapter, I gave up. One does not simply spell "mannequin" wrong.
dafuq how old are these characters?
and I mean spike and sweetie belle
I have a no idea the fuck is going on.
i.qkme.me/3q5nix.jpg
Is that a knife your side or are you just happy to see me?
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/If%20you%20know%20what%20I%20mean..png
its Tired not Tiered.
And also are they humanized? You said he grabbed her wrist...its hoof or ankle.
Then I come in (a white alicorn with a red mane) grab the bullet kill free rider free everyone ten go grab a donut after defeating the army of free rider
984862 hay don't ask me ask the author!
985137
i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/000/681/what-you-did-there-i-see-it.thumbnail.jpg
;D
I DEMAND ANOTHER CHAPTER!!! ALRIGHT!??!?!?!!?
First off I do like the story so far. Now that that's out of the way I shall move on to criticism. I will begin with my issues with the characters, mainly that they do nothing.
Twilight Sparkle: She is the Jesus allegory in the show and has been known to be able to do any magical feat that is possible in their world, or at least duplicate anything that any other pony can do. Known examples of her abilities are:
1. Telekinesis on many, heavy objects simultaneously.
2. Teleportation of herself and others over fairly large distances.
3. The ability to produce a force field so strong that it was able to hold back and in fact undo the powers of Discord, a character who has power equal to or greater than that of Celestia the equivalent of god in their world.
4. She can also travel in time.
In theory, she could also do anything ever shown to be done by anyone, therefore she should be able to turn off gravity, walk through walls, hover and indeed fly using her magic.
She seems to have unlimited power when needed, so in the end Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia are like Jean Gray and Charles Xavier from X-men, Celestia has more knowledge but her powers have limits, Twilight's do not.
The other five main characters all gave up uncharacteristically easily, especially when you consider that their friend was just about to be shot.
And finally, Spike.
In every mythology that contains dragons, they are always nearly indestructible to begin with. They have scales that will stop all but the best weapons, sometimes to the point where the weapon needs to be a holy artifact or enchanted with magic to even harm them. Furthermore the bones of dragons are said to be the strongest substances known to exist. To top it all off, you have written in to the story that Spike ate the 'stone' and that this has given him the ability to almost instantly heal from any injury he receives. Now I realize that in this story he is not full grown and therefore it is reasonable that he is not totally unstoppable, however you have written him in as fairly indestructible which he should be utilizing. You have also mentioned that he was able to punch the cell wall and dent it, the same wall that Applejack could not even scratch with her full body's worth of force. This means that you have made Spike exceptionally strong as well. So essentially Spike is Wolverine mixed with the Hulk.
So what I want to know is why all of them seem to be absolutely useless so far?
This is getting better by the second
I am actually glad that Spike is 'Dating' someone close to his age.
1158358 brain=KAPLOSHION OR BOOM OR KABOOM OR EXPLOSION OR...
1216483
Did I say something that is hard to understand, or is it just that I pointed out some interesting problems?
This is amazing
Did we just?” “Yep.” “Did I?” “Yep.” “We can never tell anyone about his.” “Yep.”
Hahahahahaha