- Member Since 19th Aug, 2017
- offline last seen Oct 30th, 2023
Genesis Raptus
H.R. Giger, Alien, Predator, MLP and Equestria Girls fan, Full Time Brony, horror movie, book and game expert, and all time fan of Sunset Shimmer, the Dazzlings. Octavia, Rarity, and Vinyl Scratch.
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It clearly needs grammar fix
8389836
I found of the grammar issues and fixed them but I will continue to search for any other grammar issues to fix.
8389852
Few punctuation's is needed.
Gloriosa didn't have to wait long for her guest to arrive; Discord arrived moment before schedule. "Good afternoon Ms Daisy."
Gloriosa didn't have to wait long for her guest to arrive; Discord arrived moment before schedule. "Good afternoon Ms. Daisy." (Ms.)
"It's been nothing but total chaos, but it was tolerable and satisfying to.
"It's been nothing but total chaos, but it was tolerable and satisfying too. (too)
There is still 59 issues and not been fixed.
I think you should reread it again.
This whole paragraph
The whole room shook at the sheer strength of the lone Plagasis. One final blow cause some of the glass shatter. The demon forced its arm inside the room and struck Gloriosa in the head. She fell backwards and collapsed to the floor.
In her unconsciousness she started having flashbacks about when the students from Canterlot High decided to spend the summer with her and her brother.
Should be
The whole room shook with the sheer strength of the lone Plagasis. One final blow causes some of the glass shatters. The demon forced its arm inside the room and struck Gloriosa in the head. She fell backward and collapsed to the floor.
In her unconsciousness, she started having flashbacks about when the students from Canterlot High decided to spend the summer with her and her brother.
explaining
room shook at the sheers strength I think you meant with the sheer strength
there is more than one cause because glass shatters into tiny pieces so it causes some of the glass shatter.
Another way to put it there is more than one cause because glass shatters into tiny pieces so it causes some of the glass to shatter. this part makes more sense.
Only one pony fell it should be only backward
In her unconsciousness must have a , because it makes sense to have that , there
8389886
There it should be good to go now.
8389912
not really you have 52 more fixing to go T_T I'll try to put a video for you if I can
8389912
Hope that video works out for you.
If you need some inspiration. I too make horror fiction if you like to read mine to get an idea.
One more thing... If I exit 2 stuff it means that there fine from the video.
I like dark, horror, gore, fear, grim dark, tragedy, and sad
I hope she dies that way, the sick bitch
yep, she gonna die
...😑😑😑a lot, and didn't you say it could spread from person to person, also this is exactly why any goverment, or humanity as a whole shouldn't even think of developing this shit, and DEFINITELY WHY NO ONE SHOULD HIRE A FUCKING PSYCHOTIC SCIENTIST, THAT GETS A BONER FROM WATCHING THE FRUIT OF SUPER-VIRUS' TEAR PEOPLE LIMB FROM LIMB!!!!!!!
"Think of all it could teach us"- MY FUCKING ASS, THINK OF ALL IT COULD DESTROY, I AM LEGEND, THE CRAZIES, [PROTOTYPE], RESIDENT EVIL, THESE BIO WEAPONS GOT OUT OF CON-FUCKING-TAINMENT, AND THE DEATH TOLLS WERE TERRIFYING, MOST OF THEM WIPED OUT ALMOST ALL LIFE ON EARTH, AND THOSE WERE SCENARIOS, FICTION, and that kids, is why you should never grow up to make bioweapons that have the potential to kill billions, find a legitimate cure for cancer, like scientists did by modifying HIV virus
8419760
The only thing that happens to her is that she has been gone missing for months now but 7 months later she was found dead. Killed by her own creation.
8423250
Wait a minute, who found her corpse? And is she military funded?
8423318
Professor Discord found her lying on the ground, her face was melted and her entire chest was ripped open. And yes she was. Since she was apart of a secret corporation that had the entire government in their pockets she was highly funded.