Taking Stock
It was morning when Rarity woke up again. Feeble sunlight illuminated the sands around her, and when she lifted her head up, she could see overcast skies from the receding storm through the canopy. The sand around her body was hardly disturbed, and when she stood up, all her joints popped and ached in protest. She must’ve slept so soundly that she didn’t move at all during the night.
She looked to her right, and her breath caught in her throat when she realized Rainbow Dash was gone. Another glance revealed a set of hoofprints going back off to the shore, so Rarity followed them through the tree line. When she saw her friend sitting on the sand, staring out over the water, she breathed a sigh of relief and walked up behind her.
“Rainbow?” she tentatively asked. “How are you feeling?”
Rainbow shifted slightly, and that’s when Rarity saw that she’d already bound her broken wing with palm fronds and a vine knotted across her chest. “Awful,” she grumbled, flexing and flapping her good and unbound wing. “My wing’s broke, I’ve got a headache, and… well, just where are we, Rares?”
Rarity sat down by Rainbow’s side and looked out over the ocean. Choppy blue waters stretched as far as her eyes could see, all the way up to the distant horizon where they met with the stormy gray skies. There wasn’t a single speck of land in sight, nor an airship in the sky. Even with Rainbow at her side, Rarity felt horribly isolated and lonely.
“I don’t know,” Rarity admitted. She swallowed hard and watched a large board of driftwood wash up with the tide. “The waves brought us here… wherever ‘here’ is.”
Rainbow quietly nodded. “Did you see anypony else?”
Rarity shook her head. “No… have you?”
“No.”
The waves pounded the shore, ceaseless, unrelenting.
“Rainbow… what if… what if we’re the only two?”
Rainbow stared at the sand under her hooves and trembled slightly. “All this driftwood is from our ship.” Her throat bobbed, and she closed her eyes and shuddered. “The storm probably tore the balloon from the deck… the whole thing would’ve fallen nearly a mile. Smashed to pieces on the waves.”
“Could anypony have survived that?”
“Maybe if they could’ve flown free,” Rainbow said. She sneered down the length of her muzzle. “But those Celestia-damned pirates had the other passengers locked in their rooms. I don’t think they…” She hiccupped, and Rarity saw her eyes glisten. “W-We should’ve tried to s-save them, Rares. W-We were the only ones who c-could…”
Rarity slid over and gave Rainbow her shoulder to lean on. Though she didn’t have wings like her friend to cocoon her in a comforting blanket of feathers, she wrapped her forelegs around her all the same. “There was nothing we could have done, darling,” Rarity insisted. “If we didn’t flee when we did, we would’ve died too.”
“But Loyalty doesn’t leave ponies behind!”
A pang of sympathy twisted Rarity’s heart. Of course Rainbow felt guilty about running off without trying to help. It was what defined her. She would’ve tried to save everypony on that ship if she could. And even Rarity herself felt the guilt clawing away at her. How selfish was it of her to make a run for it without trying to stop and help at least one other pony get off of the ship? Textile Ferry and Pearl Path were both likely dead. Jetstream and Lucarne were both likely dead. The spa ponies, Detendu and Soft Step, were both likely dead. All those friendly and lively faces she’d met only a few days ago were dead and gone, and by some fluke, only her and Rainbow were left.
Still, she couldn’t bear to see Rainbow like this, so she steeled herself to her own guilt and nuzzled her friend’s neck. “Rainbow, it’s okay, darling. Shush. I was the one who wanted us to jump ship early. If anything, that guilt rests with me, not you.” She fidgeted, her hoof digging a trench in the sand. “But we’re here, now. We’re still alive. We need to focus on that, darling. Loyalty and generosity. Together, we will make it out of this alive. I don’t doubt that for a second.”
“Yeah, but… what if nopony finds us?”
Rarity’s breath hitched in her throat at that possibility. “Somepony will find us,” she insisted. “We only traveled a day south from our flight plan, right? We aren’t too far away.”
“At the altitudes airships fly at, our flight plan is over the horizon,” Rainbow said. “They’d have to go searching pretty far south to come this way.”
“Then we’ll make it until they do,” Rarity insisted. “No matter how long that takes. We will go home and we will see our friends again. You understand, darling?”
Rainbow nodded. “Yeah. Yeah, we’ll make it.” She very weakly smiled. “Thanks, Rares.”
“I only dragged you through the water and out of the surf last night,” Rarity said, smirking. “I’ll drag you home if I have to.”
“I’m sure you could, Rares. You’re definitely stubborn enough.” She chuckled, then stood up. “Thanks for that, though. I guess I was kind of a useless mess after the lifeboat hit the water.”
Rarity waved it off. “It’s nothing, darling. I did what I had to do. Now we’ll do what we have to do.” She tilted her head toward Rainbow’s wing. “I see you already have your wing taken care of.”
Rainbow glanced at her bound appendage and shrugged. “Oh, yeah. I took care of that a little bit ago. You were still sleeping.” She tugged on the knot across her chest, wincing as she adjusted her wing. “The Wonderbolts were a military organization in the past, you know? They taught me basic field dressing and survival stuff. Never thought it’d be useful, but now…”
“I’m glad that I have an expert with me, then,” Rarity said, giggling.
“Yeah… I just wish I could do something about your horn.” Even Rainbow winced when Rarity looked up at it. “I don’t know what to do for that.”
“It’ll heal on its own in time,” Rarity insisted. She stood up as well and brushed shoulders with Rainbow. “So, what’s the first step?”
“Well, first we gotta get supplies,” Rainbow said. She squinted out over the water, her eyes scanning the waves. “If we’re lucky, maybe some supplies will wash up from the wreckage over the next day or two. But we gotta find drinking water, a food source, and a place to make shelter. It’ll let us get a survey of the island as well.”
Rarity nodded. “Sounds well and good to me, darling. Would you like to lead the way?”
Rainbow started walking back toward the heart of the island. “Sure. I guess I’ll finally get to live out a Daring Do novel, eh? Couldn’t ask for a more dramatic start!”
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It would be hilarious if they found some temple with water and gardens, started living there and then were rescued... By Daring Do catching them 'in the act' while she's searching for some artifact (that they're using as a... You know).
I imagine Daring's reaction would be something in the line of "Celestia dammit Dash, my books are for children! I can't write that I found the two lost bearers using a holy maretonian artifact as a matrial aid!!
"
That would sell a lot of books, though...
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The Twin
Ah yes the ancient island cultures sacred artifact for aiding martial stuff, the Phallic Symbol. Daring Do's been searching for it for years.
This should have been the third chapter. You're going to hate this comment but I am really fucking annoyed.
Your story title is "Surviving Sand Island", the description clarifies it. This is a story about how they are supposed to survive on this island. This is why we are here.
From my last comment... I don't know HOW many chapters ago, I skipped everything. I skipped absolutely every single chapter since the sixth or eighth. Not a single word you typed since then has meant anything up to this moment. You established that Rarity has her magic dulled, and I know in one chapter if it has been restored or not. Dashie can't fly off the island. Rarity likes chicks. I can't possibly think of anything else that matters apart from some bonding time with RBD that I assume might set up for some relationship stuff but I'll see if it is on the island.
There is only one reason I am even considering reading more of this story is the same reason why I am so pissed off with you:
You're a great author.
Your characters are well done, Dashie and Rarity are portrayed very well with some development and I REALLY want to see how this all works out.
So I'll continue reading and hope the skipping was worth it.
8513708
Completely agree with you, I skipped everything past chapter 3 if I'm honest. Came here for a survival story after all and 15+ chapters of airship luxury followed by pirates were not exactly what drew me in.
Don't get me wrong, just as Damien said I'm sure that part was good, but it was not necessarily what any of us readers came her for.
I actually abandoned this story a while back, because they had yet to reach the island when I started reading, glad I managed to find it again.
8513708
I agree so hard
Don't let all the critics bother you. I think it's great that you're taking your time with the pacing, and it's not like the previous chapters felt like filler. They were all building up to this moment.
People are way too focused on instant gratification these days and wouldn't know good pacing if it hit them in the head like a tidal wave - as is evident here.
Instead of starting the story off out of nowhere and then having to awkwardly backtrack via flashback, you laid the groundwork this story will rest on in a very sophisticated and elegant way.
That's what sets you apart from the crowd here on fimfiction, so don't think for even a single second that that's a bad thing.
Good pacing leading to a good set up leading to a good start to this fic. Awesome.
8513708
I can see where you're coming from, but I have to disagree. By having the setup several chapters long, they have effectively built an amazing basework for this story and some nice character development. By skipping you have missed all of that. I get you wanted the story to "Get to it's core faster" but that would have ruined the pacing. Trust me, I would know from experience.
And honestly, those early chapters were delightful all on their own.
8513708
8534388
8540819
You're so wrong that it honestly amazes me. It's difficult to even articulate just how ignorant your comment is without simply resorting to being insulting. You are a person on a site dedicated to the art of writing, commenting on a story by a skilled author. This is a story. And your complaint is so void of even a basic elementary knowledge of storytelling that it boggles my mind.
I'm really glad that Equinoxx explained the concept of pacing to you relatively succinctly because when I first read your comment it was like hearing a crazy person rant and rave about how annoying the green sky is: Difficult to respond to.
dam tfw when half the readers dont know what proper pacing is
8633498
people got used to movie pacing.. this is not action movie... and for sake of character development all this "slow" beginning was essential. If someone doesn't get that, they should go back to read comics.
Tbh, I'd gave story different name... something... "Strayed"? Matches fact that they deviated off-course, then were lost.
I've always enjoyed reading rather than watching the movies. You can take your time and enjoy, rather than have a 300+ page book crammed into an hour and a half, 2 hours tops.
This story is great, with a wonderful flow to it thus far. I've been enjoying every chapter. The interactions between not only Dashy and Rara, but with the other characters as well. Character building has been really nice, as well as the world building (Rara's empire mainly, lol). Gotta admit, the Pirate Captain was a complete ignoramus.
And now we finally get to the castaway core of the story, and I can't wait to see how things go from here. *Breaks out a bottle of wine*
Dis gonna be gud.
What they will have to worry about is infection.
In those conditions a seemingly small injury can cause you to lose a limb.
An untreated cut on the face can lead to blindness
Simple diseases can become deadly without the convenience of medication
There’s a reason some wild animals try to avoid being injured because one bad hit to the wrong place and it’s death .
And a question were you inspired by something with this story because the premise kinda reminds me of the book Hatchet.
If you haven’t checked it out it’s a great story