A strange problem arises in Equestria that makes it impossible for stallions to impregnate their wives. Fortunately for them, some helpful zebra stallions are more than willing to take their place.
TWO updates in less than a month? Who are you and what have you done with Very Sleepy?
“I see…” Celestia said with a thoughtful nod.Mtumwasounded like such an exotic term. She would have to besureto look up the exact translation later.
Smart.
The day all of Rarity’s clothing had been thrown out by the zebras, she had already sew together a new outfit for herself faster than it took for the dragon to learn what was happening and sprint over to her house at mach five.
What about Spike? what did that zebra do to Spike? and what about Flurry Heart? where is Flurry Heart during all of this?! And what about Zecora? what did she do during all of this?!
Zecora was the scout that reported to the zebras and brought them to Equestria. Though they promptly informed her that they weren't going with the whole "rhyming sentences" thing she had made a name for. To them, that was just silly.
I actually had this chapter and the bonus chapter done for a while now. I just couldn't release them until I finished up the clop in the previous chapter, which was writer's blocked to hell.
Here's hoping to see "alternate ending" where zebras get karmatic punishment. Just so that they don't get "special treatment" compared to the caribou from the "Fall"-series. There's like only one story where zebras get some punishment for similar thing. But still, an ok sex/porn-story. Even if the endings cargo thing is bit too close to the real-life slavery hauling....
8870476 you do know that zebras ARE an equine race? Unless you mean by increasingly sterile hybrid offspring's (, I don't give a **** about zebras hax-potions, in which one could develop immunity,) from constant zebra-pony copulation's, leading to overpopulation and economic problems, etc...
If you want to nitpick I'll re-clarify my statement by stating their subspecies will go extinct from the actions of these two equine breeds. Either way you look at it the subspecies that the Equestrians are is over. You seems like a smart human being I don't think I need to go into further detail as to why it is the extinction of Equestrians as we know it.
8870611 Perhaps, we never know what things alicorn genes might do at some point... I also like to think that even the zebra populace WILL be affected by this interbreeding task, since all the zebra mares we "see" are concentrating on the equestrians instead of their own(, maybe THEY have fertility probs on the mare-side and potions wont help there anymore?). Meaning that they too will most likely go extinct as the "zebras", slowly replaced by "zonys". Motives would explain somethings, OTHER than breeding/sh*t-ideology/just conquering, even thou its just a fetish-story.
Perhaps one of the darker fetishy stories that I've read considering the events that occur in the background (both hinted at and actually happening during the story).
I wouldn't be so bothered by the thought of the two subspecies banding together in order to save some semblance of their respective subspecies, but only if one of them weren't being coerced into it using extreme exaggerations and outright lies (this might change if there's a bonus chapter, or it will simply remain a fact) among other actions that the Zebras took. The Equestrians' culture has been outright destroyed/abandoned willingly, something that hits way too close to home for myself (probably what bothers me the most honestly). And the sad part of that is this new breed that comes forth shall only have half of its ancestors culture. It's not a happy end for the Equestrians as we know it, or perhaps it is for the females....
8870659 Yeah... Cultural genocide can be sometimes even more brutal than physical killing, especially if destroying relics and buildings is included in it... Guess we will see if bonus chapter comes up. Still thinking zebras will get some karmatic justice, because "multi-verse with infinite realities and timelines". And as DBZA PerfectCell said "Multiverse-theory is a b*tch".
Sleepy, I'm sorry. I really really am. I have nothing against you, or your fetishes or what you like to write, but I have to say this. This started out as an enjoyable read and became a train wreck by it's continuing story alone. The Zebras, as always... op Gary Stus, in every sense of the word. I don't care if it's clop, that's bad writing. All the mares in this story, sorry, every single character that wasn't a Zebra were morons and the plot holes in this story along could cause the Great Wall of China to collapse in on itself. That's not to say that the writing itself was bad(though in this chapter there was a case of "and and"), but the story is and if I were to suggest anything for future projects, don't make the mistakes new writers make with normal fics and Clop because, this is riddled with it and I know most people don't agree with me, but I think clop can have a good story, and can be just on the level of praise as normal fiction.
I know I've harped on you, and I deeply apologize for that, this could have been great, this could have been amazing in fact but it isn't. In terms of characterization and world building, it's bad and I'm not even saying that from a subjective point of view. I know you probably won't take that advice, which is fine as I've said before your commitment is respectable. I just hope to god you improve later on, as this was rather painful to read, which makes me sad.
Did you read warnings ("Contains")? Because it doesn't sound you did. Did you seriosly expected great story and world building from a clop story build on interracial porn cliches? It wasn't meant to be realistic and believable. I liked this story. I have read warnings and was aware of what to expect from this story. I didn't expect it to be smart or faithfull to the characters from the show, so i enjoyed it. You clearly looking for plot, characters and world building in the wrong place.
8870711 I have to agree with you. The problem is that the characters are all idiots. Cadence is worried about her husband being away...but is ok with having everything he owns thrown away in the thrash and replaced. Cadence is getting alarm bells about the migration... but is ok with it a few minutes later while still knowing very little. Rarity and Sweetie Belle are separated from Spike before they are forceably stripped but barely put up a fight or anything like that. This really pushes it. At least before, Cadence was drinking potions and being conditioned by Zed but the ending is just a bit too much to believe.
Also, why take them out of Equestria? You have an entire land now devoid of ponies that you could do whatever you want with?
8870996 Personally, if I had written the story the Zebras would have been defeated with the Elements, a barrier of magic separating the two continents with the question of whether or not the mares even want their husbands back being hinted at in the end. To me that sounds like a much better ending since it would allow the numerous plot holes and stuff that wasn't addressed later on to be filled in, and have an ending that gives hope for a better tomorrow. But we have this so... yeah
8871029 I wouldn't have minded it if while the Zebras were preparing the mares, Shining Armor and a large group of stallions decided to give their 'saviors a taste of their own medicine. Giving them a similar illness and showing that the only reason their better at sex is because of their potions. Maybe having Shining Armor use his magic in a new way to please mares in a way potions never could.
8871045 I actually really like that idea, if I ever decide to make a Zebradom story(which I would most likely only do as a joke so I can nit pick the shit out of it), I'd be sure to ask for permission for that idea.
8871056 Go for it. Another thing you could do is fix the idiocy moments in the story. Like for example with the scene with Rarity and Sweetie Belle before they meet the female zebras they could first offer the two a potion before beginning the procedure. They could say that it was something for their health, but what it really does is make them more cooperative. That way when they begin cutting off their clothes it's not so stupid. Or with the scene with cadence being told that they're going to be shipped out, have her visibly upset and then take a drink that's on the table in order to calm her nerves. But after she takes a gulp Zed can come in and start talking and she warms up to the idea. If this story had done little things like that instead of having the mares be complete idiots, then the ending might have felt less off-putting and the zebras coming off less as Gary stews. That they were genuinely smart enough to consider all this. Or have a group of mares who don't buy into all the propaganda and try to escape
8871056 Another ending could be Spike going into dragon greed mode after he finds out he's not going with Rarity. In his rage he begins to take all of the mares while the Zebras are helpless because there are no mares awake who can use magic, the pegasi have been clipped, and the earth mares are weakened due to the lotion. And with not stallions around, the Zebras there are fucked
Comment posted by ScarFox9700 deleted Apr 18th, 2018
8871554 Eh, I didn't want to push you into doing anything like that. If that's how I came across, I apologise. It was more, you could say something about this story too.
Me, I understand where people are coming from with their criticism. Zebradom and cuckolding aren't my fetishes, but I'm not knocking them. I think both of these are served well in the story itself. And yeah, it may not be all that deep or complex, but I know that's not what Sleepy set out to do here. It's a women-in-crates Zebradom fic, never pretended to be anything but.
And I really should have just not commented at all. However, yes, my hatred of Zebra-Dom knows no boundaries. Although, I find people who hate it too, I'm the author of the so far one and only "Anti-Zebra Dom" story, my pride and joy, "Battleship Express!" That one, and the upcoming one I'm working on paint out EXACTLY how I feel about the Zebras taking over, and how it would end up playing out if Humanity, or even just a small group of Humans was involved. I hate the Zebras, but yet, I channel my hatred into thinking up ideas for stories where the Zebras get their butts HANDED to them for messing with Equestria!
8881010 Philosophy tends to do that . In short: There is no moral reason for why you should reproduce. Only that it is wrong to stop you. However no one has to help you with it and since you need two to do it... Well, they can say no.
Perhaps a another example. Lets say you have the right to own property. If it is a negative right then no one is allowed to take your property from you but if it is positive right then people must give you things so you can have property.
Mmmm im troubled here, cadence is my favorite princess and seein her corrupted and toss shining away like it was nothin as well as the corruption of the other mares and princesses and not seeing it put a sour taste in my mouth but the writing balances out and thr way the deception and everything with slow corruption was done pretty well. Good show man
8871598 Surprisingly, even though my comments give off a big hatred to fetishes such as Zebradom or Cuckolding. I actually don't mind them even though they're not my cup of tea. However, I hate it when it's used as an excuse to get away with bad writing, something I feel Sleepy has done here. I'm not trying to hate on Sleepy or anything, I like his other work most of the time, personally prefer his shorter ones to his long, multi chapter ones. Like I said, the zebras are op Gary Stus, everyone who's not a zebra is incredibly dumb and if people like that, I'm not gonna fault them for it, but if that's the case than this story should have remained a one chapter long one shot, cause that's all it is and explores which is, incredibly boring and in some cases, just bad.
the zebras are op Gary Stus, everyone who's not a zebra is incredibly dumb
I get that you may hate bad writing, but core idea of Zebradom is that Zebras are naturally stronger, smarter and overall better than ponies in every way (not morally, but in terms of power). So specifically hating on that aspect (Zebras being much more powerfull, intellegent and have more sexual prowess) is kinda weird to me, since it was clear since the begining that it is Zebradom fic and expecting Zebras to lose to ponies is kinda missing the point. So when you posted your comment hating on that fic and emphasize specifically on the fact that "Zebras are to OP", i was thinking that you was completely miss the point of "Warnings".
8893988 Well, I can see where you're coming from with that. Personally, I feel, even if the point is to show Zebras as better in nearly every way, it could have been done better, it feels it went by way too easily and without nearly any conflict. That's one of the reasons I think this would have been better as a one chapter long oneshot. As then there would have been a better argument of "Well, it's only one chapter so, liberties can be taken." The fact there are multiple chapters gives way for more story and conflict to be put there, which wasn't really done.
8894004 I agree that it could have been better, but we have what we have. It's really almost impossible to find plot heavy and character driven stories with much of a conflict in Zebradom genre, since stories from such genre mainly based on racial fetish (which not for everyone's taste) and they tend to receice much backlash from racists from community (some of this poor idiots speculate that it is a "ploy from Black People and SJW to demoralize white men"). So writers tend to think "Why bother putting much effort in this, it's gonna get trashed and get many dislikes anyway".
8894574 I can agree to that, a lot of the time fetishes like this get a lot of hate so, it's no wonder not as much effort is put into it. Though, I'm not exactly expecting Shakespeare from them, I just wish a small bit more of an effort went into it. Cause, the actual sex scenes in the story are good, very good even, But, I feel the overall story kind of weighs them down, simply because they don't feel as earned, especially after the first chapter
8895862 I agree. But i can argue that, in this case, sex scenes was primary objective with everything else being interlude between them. I of course also wanted a bit more plot and canon characters in this story, but as i said before "we got what we got". I would read epilogue to this story out of interest, if writer decided to write one.
8869991 Was what the zebras were doing at the end, with the atrophy cream and magic suppressant and indicator that they would be enslaved when they got back to the zebras homeland?
8869991 Will it be epilogue? Will it describe fates of other canon characters? I liked your story by the way. Do you plannig on making another Zebradom story with Zebras takin over Equestria?
8894574 To be fair, Zebradom itself has strong racial(ist) connotations, so it's not just racists who might be uncomfortable with the themes. If you turned it around and had ponies enslave naive, weak-minded and submissive Zebras, people would lose their sh*t even more, I'd wager.
There's also the fact that Very Sleepy's story goes a step further than the norm and has the stallions (who are very sick) chained up in prison camps, with no mention if they actually unchained them before the Zebras and pony mares left them behind. You know, so they can go get water and food since nobody's around to care for them anymore.
8904512 Every Porn story and media has its own number of unfortinate implication ("All Women Are Lustful and will jump in arms of anyone, who has a bigger dick", "Men Are Always Eager to Bang", "Rape eventualy get transformed to a Love" and ec.). Most of the time people who strongly hate Zebradom genre didn't even mention them and more concerned about fact itself that it is interracial with all their mad theores that follows as a result ("Blacks want to steal out women"; "SJW and minorites want to take over the world"; "We must have miscegnation laws back"). Someone made a fanart with a pony stallion punching mare, who was pregnant with foal from zebra, in her belly and it was supposed to be "Awesome Response" to genre Zebradom and anyone who likes it.
8904561 Well, yes, of course. I'm just saying not everyone disliking Zebradom is a racist. And I don't think I need to explain how that pic is kinda silly. Though I wouldn't be totally shocked if some of the stallions in this story would be angry enough for that since, from the current looks of things, they were not only left, but left to die.
8904595 I Never said that EVERYONE who didn't like Zebradom is a racist, i just said that majority of the hate come from racists. I Just find it silly when other fics (outside of Zebradom genre) that depict cuckolding with mares leaving their original partners (sometimes to die) to some OC or some canon character (whichever species writer likes: pony, dragon, ec.) get a pass and much less hatred, simply because it wasn't Zebra who "conquered" them.
About stallions being angry, it's unlikely they can do anything about it since they are in Zebradom genre and thus Zebras (being naturally much more powerfull and smarter that them) would be able to easily beat any resistance from them. My headcanon is that stallions were released back to Equestria, since they were no longer needed and in no shape to do anything about the situation.
8904650 Hohoh, dude, cuckolding is one of those genres that gets people riled up like nothing else, even if it's not Zebras! I remember this one story, Carrot Cuck I think it was called, where every single character was in on it (other than the kids), and it still got plenty hate.
It would be nice if they were let free before the Zebras took all the mares away and left. Or just threw them the keys to the chains. Anything. They can always try to integrate in with the Griffons or the Hippogriffs or dragons or whatever, that way ponykind will also eventually die out, replaced only with hybrids. That would be an interesting epilogue: The descendants of the mares return to the mythical homeland of Equestria, which lies abandoned after all the stallions recovered and went to live with one of the other species.
That's really all I had planned out for this story.
There may, however, be one more short bonus chapter the really concludes the story.
TWO updates in less than a month? Who are you and what have you done with Very Sleepy?
Smart.
Surprising nobody.
What about Spike? what did that zebra do to Spike? and what about Flurry Heart? where is Flurry Heart during all of this?! And what about Zecora? what did she do during all of this?!
8870093
Zecora was the scout that reported to the zebras and brought them to Equestria. Though they promptly informed her that they weren't going with the whole "rhyming sentences" thing she had made a name for. To them, that was just silly.
8870040
I actually had this chapter and the bonus chapter done for a while now. I just couldn't release them until I finished up the clop in the previous chapter, which was writer's blocked to hell.
Is there gonna to be a sequel for this story?
It's a really good story, i would like a secuel where... Welp, to see what's gonna happen to the stallions, now that they are all alone.
Here's hoping to see "alternate ending" where zebras get karmatic punishment. Just so that they don't get "special treatment" compared to the caribou from the "Fall"-series. There's like only one story where zebras get some punishment for similar thing.
But still, an ok sex/porn-story. Even if the endings cargo thing is bit too close to the real-life slavery hauling....
8870446
I agree. Hopefully we can at least get a sequel where Shining Armor and Spike take up arms to give the Zebras a taste of their own medicine.
And so the proud and mighty Equine race's extinction was set in stone and was a bloodless extinction of a species.
8870120
Ok but what about Spike!!!!
8870476
you do know that zebras ARE an equine race? Unless you mean by increasingly sterile hybrid offspring's (, I don't give a **** about zebras hax-potions, in which one could develop immunity,) from constant zebra-pony copulation's, leading to overpopulation and economic problems, etc...
8870579
If you want to nitpick I'll re-clarify my statement by stating their subspecies will go extinct from the actions of these two equine breeds. Either way you look at it the subspecies that the Equestrians are is over. You seems like a smart human being I don't think I need to go into further detail as to why it is the extinction of Equestrians as we know it.
8870611
Perhaps, we never know what things alicorn genes might do at some point... I also like to think that even the zebra populace WILL be affected by this interbreeding task, since all the zebra mares we "see" are concentrating on the equestrians instead of their own(, maybe THEY have fertility probs on the mare-side and potions wont help there anymore?). Meaning that they too will most likely go extinct as the "zebras", slowly replaced by "zonys". Motives would explain somethings, OTHER than breeding/sh*t-ideology/just conquering, even thou its just a fetish-story.
8870636
Perhaps one of the darker fetishy stories that I've read considering the events that occur in the background (both hinted at and actually happening during the story).
I wouldn't be so bothered by the thought of the two subspecies banding together in order to save some semblance of their respective subspecies, but only if one of them weren't being coerced into it using extreme exaggerations and outright lies (this might change if there's a bonus chapter, or it will simply remain a fact) among other actions that the Zebras took. The Equestrians' culture has been outright destroyed/abandoned willingly, something that hits way too close to home for myself (probably what bothers me the most honestly). And the sad part of that is this new breed that comes forth shall only have half of its ancestors culture. It's not a happy end for the Equestrians as we know it, or perhaps it is for the females....
8870659
Yeah... Cultural genocide can be sometimes even more brutal than physical killing, especially if destroying relics and buildings is included in it... Guess we will see if bonus chapter comes up. Still thinking zebras will get some karmatic justice, because "multi-verse with infinite realities and timelines". And as DBZA PerfectCell said "Multiverse-theory is a b*tch".
Sleepy, I'm sorry. I really really am. I have nothing against you, or your fetishes or what you like to write, but I have to say this. This started out as an enjoyable read and became a train wreck by it's continuing story alone. The Zebras, as always... op Gary Stus, in every sense of the word. I don't care if it's clop, that's bad writing. All the mares in this story, sorry, every single character that wasn't a Zebra were morons and the plot holes in this story along could cause the Great Wall of China to collapse in on itself. That's not to say that the writing itself was bad(though in this chapter there was a case of "and and"), but the story is and if I were to suggest anything for future projects, don't make the mistakes new writers make with normal fics and Clop because, this is riddled with it and I know most people don't agree with me, but I think clop can have a good story, and can be just on the level of praise as normal fiction.
I know I've harped on you, and I deeply apologize for that, this could have been great, this could have been amazing in fact but it isn't. In terms of characterization and world building, it's bad and I'm not even saying that from a subjective point of view. I know you probably won't take that advice, which is fine as I've said before your commitment is respectable. I just hope to god you improve later on, as this was rather painful to read, which makes me sad.
8870711
Did you read warnings ("Contains")? Because it doesn't sound you did. Did you seriosly expected great story and world building from a clop story build on interracial porn cliches? It wasn't meant to be realistic and believable. I liked this story. I have read warnings and was aware of what to expect from this story. I didn't expect it to be smart or faithfull to the characters from the show, so i enjoyed it. You clearly looking for plot, characters and world building in the wrong place.
8870815
Oh yeah, I did read the warning, and yes, I am probably looking for it in the wrong place. But I don't care.
8870711
I have to agree with you. The problem is that the characters are all idiots. Cadence is worried about her husband being away...but is ok with having everything he owns thrown away in the thrash and replaced. Cadence is getting alarm bells about the migration... but is ok with it a few minutes later while still knowing very little. Rarity and Sweetie Belle are separated from Spike before they are forceably stripped but barely put up a fight or anything like that. This really pushes it. At least before, Cadence was drinking potions and being conditioned by Zed but the ending is just a bit too much to believe.
Also, why take them out of Equestria? You have an entire land now devoid of ponies that you could do whatever you want with?
8870996
Personally, if I had written the story the Zebras would have been defeated with the Elements, a barrier of magic separating the two continents with the question of whether or not the mares even want their husbands back being hinted at in the end. To me that sounds like a much better ending since it would allow the numerous plot holes and stuff that wasn't addressed later on to be filled in, and have an ending that gives hope for a better tomorrow. But we have this so... yeah
8871029
I wouldn't have minded it if while the Zebras were preparing the mares, Shining Armor and a large group of stallions decided to give their 'saviors a taste of their own medicine. Giving them a similar illness and showing that the only reason their better at sex is because of their potions. Maybe having Shining Armor use his magic in a new way to please mares in a way potions never could.
8871045
I actually really like that idea, if I ever decide to make a Zebradom story(which I would most likely only do as a joke so I can nit pick the shit out of it), I'd be sure to ask for permission for that idea.
8871056
Go for it. Another thing you could do is fix the idiocy moments in the story. Like for example with the scene with Rarity and Sweetie Belle before they meet the female zebras they could first offer the two a potion before beginning the procedure. They could say that it was something for their health, but what it really does is make them more cooperative. That way when they begin cutting off their clothes it's not so stupid. Or with the scene with cadence being told that they're going to be shipped out, have her visibly upset and then take a drink that's on the table in order to calm her nerves. But after she takes a gulp Zed can come in and start talking and she warms up to the idea. If this story had done little things like that instead of having the mares be complete idiots, then the ending might have felt less off-putting and the zebras coming off less as Gary stews. That they were genuinely smart enough to consider all this. Or have a group of mares who don't buy into all the propaganda and try to escape
8871056
Another ending could be Spike going into dragon greed mode after he finds out he's not going with Rarity. In his rage he begins to take all of the mares while the Zebras are helpless because there are no mares awake who can use magic, the pegasi have been clipped, and the earth mares are weakened due to the lotion. And with not stallions around, the Zebras there are fucked
8871474
So, did you just comment here to plug your own story? That's not very polite.
8871537
Hello the Great Derpbsy,
And yeah, you're right. I appologize. I'll just go ahead and delete that.
8871554
Eh, I didn't want to push you into doing anything like that. If that's how I came across, I apologise. It was more, you could say something about this story too.
Me, I understand where people are coming from with their criticism. Zebradom and cuckolding aren't my fetishes, but I'm not knocking them. I think both of these are served well in the story itself. And yeah, it may not be all that deep or complex, but I know that's not what Sleepy set out to do here. It's a women-in-crates Zebradom fic, never pretended to be anything but.
8871598
Hello The Great Derpsby,
And I really should have just not commented at all. However, yes, my hatred of Zebra-Dom knows no boundaries. Although, I find people who hate it too, I'm the author of the so far one and only "Anti-Zebra Dom" story, my pride and joy, "Battleship Express!" That one, and the upcoming one I'm working on paint out EXACTLY how I feel about the Zebras taking over, and how it would end up playing out if Humanity, or even just a small group of Humans was involved. I hate the Zebras, but yet, I channel my hatred into thinking up ideas for stories where the Zebras get their butts HANDED to them for messing with Equestria!
8870711
Think this is bad check A Changling Invasion.
8870093
Flurry most likely isn't born if this whole cuckolding debacle came from Cadance trying for a child.
What a shit ending
Well Spike is either dead or been turned into a female.
8881010
Philosophy tends to do that . In short: There is no moral reason for why you should reproduce. Only that it is wrong to stop you. However no one has to help you with it and since you need two to do it... Well, they can say no.
Perhaps a another example. Lets say you have the right to own property. If it is a negative right then no one is allowed to take your property from you but if it is positive right then people must give you things so you can have property.
Mmmm im troubled here, cadence is my favorite princess and seein her corrupted and toss shining away like it was nothin as well as the corruption of the other mares and princesses and not seeing it put a sour taste in my mouth but the writing balances out and thr way the deception and everything with slow corruption was done pretty well. Good show man
8890896
Then she is aged up most likely.
8871598
Surprisingly, even though my comments give off a big hatred to fetishes such as Zebradom or Cuckolding. I actually don't mind them even though they're not my cup of tea. However, I hate it when it's used as an excuse to get away with bad writing, something I feel Sleepy has done here. I'm not trying to hate on Sleepy or anything, I like his other work most of the time, personally prefer his shorter ones to his long, multi chapter ones. Like I said, the zebras are op Gary Stus, everyone who's not a zebra is incredibly dumb and if people like that, I'm not gonna fault them for it, but if that's the case than this story should have remained a one chapter long one shot, cause that's all it is and explores which is, incredibly boring and in some cases, just bad.
8893928
I get that you may hate bad writing, but core idea of Zebradom is that Zebras are naturally stronger, smarter and overall better than ponies in every way (not morally, but in terms of power). So specifically hating on that aspect (Zebras being much more powerfull, intellegent and have more sexual prowess) is kinda weird to me, since it was clear since the begining that it is Zebradom fic and expecting Zebras to lose to ponies is kinda missing the point. So when you posted your comment hating on that fic and emphasize specifically on the fact that "Zebras are to OP", i was thinking that you was completely miss the point of "Warnings".
8893988
Well, I can see where you're coming from with that. Personally, I feel, even if the point is to show Zebras as better in nearly every way, it could have been done better, it feels it went by way too easily and without nearly any conflict. That's one of the reasons I think this would have been better as a one chapter long oneshot. As then there would have been a better argument of "Well, it's only one chapter so, liberties can be taken." The fact there are multiple chapters gives way for more story and conflict to be put there, which wasn't really done.
8894004
I agree that it could have been better, but we have what we have. It's really almost impossible to find plot heavy and character driven stories with much of a conflict in Zebradom genre, since stories from such genre mainly based on racial fetish (which not for everyone's taste) and they tend to receice much backlash from racists from community (some of this poor idiots speculate that it is a "ploy from Black People and SJW to demoralize white men"). So writers tend to think "Why bother putting much effort in this, it's gonna get trashed and get many dislikes anyway".
8894574
I can agree to that, a lot of the time fetishes like this get a lot of hate so, it's no wonder not as much effort is put into it. Though, I'm not exactly expecting Shakespeare from them, I just wish a small bit more of an effort went into it. Cause, the actual sex scenes in the story are good, very good even, But, I feel the overall story kind of weighs them down, simply because they don't feel as earned, especially after the first chapter
8895862
I agree. But i can argue that, in this case, sex scenes was primary objective with everything else being interlude between them. I of course also wanted a bit more plot and canon characters in this story, but as i said before "we got what we got". I would read epilogue to this story out of interest, if writer decided to write one.
8869991
Was what the zebras were doing at the end, with the atrophy cream and magic suppressant and indicator that they would be enslaved when they got back to the zebras homeland?
8869991
Will it be epilogue? Will it describe fates of other canon characters?
I liked your story by the way. Do you plannig on making another Zebradom story with Zebras takin over Equestria?
8894574
To be fair, Zebradom itself has strong racial(ist) connotations, so it's not just racists who might be uncomfortable with the themes. If you turned it around and had ponies enslave naive, weak-minded and submissive Zebras, people would lose their sh*t even more, I'd wager.
There's also the fact that Very Sleepy's story goes a step further than the norm and has the stallions (who are very sick) chained up in prison camps, with no mention if they actually unchained them before the Zebras and pony mares left them behind. You know, so they can go get water and food since nobody's around to care for them anymore.
8904512
Every Porn story and media has its own number of unfortinate implication ("All Women Are Lustful and will jump in arms of anyone, who has a bigger dick", "Men Are Always Eager to Bang", "Rape eventualy get transformed to a Love" and ec.). Most of the time people who strongly hate Zebradom genre didn't even mention them and more concerned about fact itself that it is interracial with all their mad theores that follows as a result ("Blacks want to steal out women"; "SJW and minorites want to take over the world"; "We must have miscegnation laws back"). Someone made a fanart with a pony stallion punching mare, who was pregnant with foal from zebra, in her belly and it was supposed to be "Awesome Response" to genre Zebradom and anyone who likes it.
8904561
Well, yes, of course. I'm just saying not everyone disliking Zebradom is a racist. And I don't think I need to explain how that pic is kinda silly. Though I wouldn't be totally shocked if some of the stallions in this story would be angry enough for that since, from the current looks of things, they were not only left, but left to die.
8904595
I Never said that EVERYONE who didn't like Zebradom is a racist, i just said that majority of the hate come from racists. I Just find it silly when other fics (outside of Zebradom genre) that depict cuckolding with mares leaving their original partners (sometimes to die) to some OC or some canon character (whichever species writer likes: pony, dragon, ec.) get a pass and much less hatred, simply because it wasn't Zebra who "conquered" them.
About stallions being angry, it's unlikely they can do anything about it since they are in Zebradom genre and thus Zebras (being naturally much more powerfull and smarter that them) would be able to easily beat any resistance from them. My headcanon is that stallions were released back to Equestria, since they were no longer needed and in no shape to do anything about the situation.
8904650
Hohoh, dude, cuckolding is one of those genres that gets people riled up like nothing else, even if it's not Zebras! I remember this one story, Carrot Cuck I think it was called, where every single character was in on it (other than the kids), and it still got plenty hate.
It would be nice if they were let free before the Zebras took all the mares away and left. Or just threw them the keys to the chains. Anything. They can always try to integrate in with the Griffons or the Hippogriffs or dragons or whatever, that way ponykind will also eventually die out, replaced only with hybrids. That would be an interesting epilogue: The descendants of the mares return to the mythical homeland of Equestria, which lies abandoned after all the stallions recovered and went to live with one of the other species.
Unless the Zebras took them all too, of course.