Applejack and Rarity end up having a picnic, but it seems that the Cutie Mark Crusaders wonder what they're really up to.
Chapters (1)
- Member Since 17th Jan, 2012
- offline last seen Oct 29th, 2016
Jeseille-Hazim
19 | Female | Atheist | Bisexual | Brony | Whovian | Otaku
Jeseille-Hazim
Joined 17th Jan, 2012 ·
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Okay, here it is, my Applejack/Rarity fanfic. If you see anything wrong, like a typo or something else. Tell me in the comments. I didn't expect it to be this long, I was hoping it would be somewhere in the 1,000's. Oh well, enjoy.
I don't know if it's just me,but it seems rushed.
896923 I was rushing the story at some points. Sorry about that.
Just try to slow it down. It's a good story.
Eh, it felt really plain to me. Sorry, it just didn't really have any impact on me because there were no points that really touched on any emotions for me.
907423 No worries, that's your opinion and I can respect that.
The story, meaning the events that occured were very solid, this could be a great first chapter to a multi-chaptered fic.
However I have to agree that it seems somewhat rushed.
Maybe re-edit and flesh the writing out a bit, give it a bit more substance and you'll have a great story as opposed to just a good one.
But these are just my personal thoughs, do whatever would make you the happiest, that's what it's all about at the end of the day :)
All the best.
972797 Well, currently I'm working on a new story which is going to have multiple chapters. Not sure how much though. I just write the stories the best I can and move on to the next one a few days or a week later.