• Member Since 9th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Dec 3rd, 2019

Evan MacIan


T

After a devastating fire, Rarity and Sweetie Belle move in with the Apple family, where Rarity gets to know Big Macintosh better.

Featured on EQD, thought I'd throw it up here as well.

Chapters (8)
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Comments ( 68 )
TAB

Good intro, I like it. I'd love to see more though

o_o First. More Importantly, Big Mac needs to get better. I may be of the opinion :ajbemused: is best pony, but I still rather like :eeyup: , too....

I remember reading this on EQD but never saw it update, will you be updating it regularly?

293487 Well, you never saw it update because it actually was already complete when I submitted it. So yes, it should all be up on this site pretty quick.

Oh so that on EQD was the full story? If I remember right didn't it end in a platonic friendship rather than actual romance?

good, like the previous chapters. I'm guessing you wrote this, or had the idea, before the sisterhoof social episode came out?

296154

he had posted it to EQD long before that episode, yes.

I'm glad to be able to re-read this story, I remember why I enjoyed it the first time around.

296154 Oh yes; you cannot imagine my annoyance when that episode so casually shattered my carefully constructed fanon.

296336

yeah, I have a feeling one of the upcoming episodes, the spike one, may do that for a story i have in the works :fluttercry:

oh well, we can adapt, become better, faster, awesomer :rainbowdetermined2:

God, that was so beautiful. I enjoyed reading this entire story. This deserves a slow clap.

*SLOW CLAP COMMENCES*

This is a really good story. :pinkiesmile:

my god, i think this is the first time i've reviewd this story, dont know why i havent done it before.
i love this story, fron the whole fic base we have, this is the one i like the most.
soo, thanks!

although, i wanted to see another ending, more romantic i guess. but it's aweosme anywyas.

i hope you do continue this pairing

"Please, Applejack. You already offered to take Sweetie Belle and I in"

As contradictory as it sounds, the correct pronoun here is me. When writing with multiple subjects, you can double-check by removing everyone but the speaker. Did AJ take me in, or did she take I in?

Aside from that, though, your writing is solid and the story well-thought out. Out of curiosity, did you do research on burn treatment beforehand?

Gotta respect the classics!

296336 There's nothing wrong with headcanon. Personally, I haven't considered anything SINCE Sisterhooves' Social canon due to the degrading quality of writing, so I convince myself that Past Sins is a published work rather than mere fanfiction.

"I would never have thought I'd see Rarity intentional do something that would get her coat dirty." Intentionally, forget not the -ly. But that's the only issue I found here. I concur with 387008, this is a pairing I'd like to see more of.

Solid story overall, 4/5 stars. Well done!

481408
Glad you enjoyed the story! The sequel should be coming out soon.
In answer to your earlier question, I did do some research on burn wounds and treatments (as well as house fires). Obviously I'm not an expert, but I wanted to make it so anyone who actually knows about such things could read the story without groaning.

great story
:moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache: out of 10 :D

Big Mac is totally my hero!

"let's do some surgery!" :rainbowlaugh:

481290

I know this is an ancient comment but I am so stealing this explanation when I do editing/proof-reading.

I think I read this on fanfiction.net, but if there's a sequel, I'm going to have to give this a reread. Well worth it in my opinion.

710559 Please feel free to do so. This issue pops up more than I care to think about, even with experienced authors.

There were several spelling errors and instances where words were left out or the author seemed to be about to say one thing but then said something slightly different, but I enjoyed the story so much, I can't even remember what they were, haha. Good Job! :yay:

Professor Plum
Story Approver

One thing that I feel I must point out, "Hung" is the past tense of "Hang".
"Hanged" means to be executed via Hanging.
Other than that, sweet. Not particularly shippy, but it seems to fit.

Wow! This was so well written! You even made me like the Cutie Mark Crusaders! :scootangel:
And now, off to read the sequel!

This story is great so far!! :yay:

It's great and all but, you the accent is kinda over kill. For instance you use Ah and ya'll way to much.

"Ah was just a bit older'n Apple Bloom is now when ma and pa both died."
So does not gel with Cutie Mark Chronicles.

781734
Yeah, I really meant to put "a few years older." Good catch.

Am I the only one wondering what happened to Opalescence?

Love it. The lame joke about flying in from Canterlot pinned the guy's personality.

"If studious youth no longer crave,
His ancient appetites forgot,
Kingston, or Ballantyne the brave,
Or Cooper of the wood and wave:
So be it, also! And may I
And all my pirates share the grave
Where these and their creations lie!"

:pinkiehappy:

Every journey starts with the first step... in this case, it's a journey of the heart.

Was that too mushy?

790416 Probably started the fire in the first place...

933015 I'm guessing, ran away...

Woot, like button number 200, I am feeling lucky. :yay:

A very nice story, I'm glad I finally managed to read it ^^

Dan

Dammit. Now I'm imagining the CMCs performing the Pirates of Penzance.

Pipsqueak as the Pirate King, of course.
Applebloom as Samuel (his lieutenant)
Featherweight as Fredrick
Scootaloo as the Sergent (she's got the dance moves for the role)
Sweetie as Maybel with Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon as her sisters (Is there not one maiden breast? Not one! No not one! You tell'em Sweetie!)
Cadence as Ruth
Shining Armor as General Stanley

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