"Oh boy..."

It started out like so many things start out

Too much cider.

We always make sure to get some from Sweet Apple Acres for Our Night Off. Why the caps? Cause we only get one night off a year, once on the day when we can drink ourselves to oblivion and forget the next day. This has to be unethical in some way.

I'd complain to the Union, but this is Tartarus so we really don't have one.
I mean in 0056 Bejie tried to create one, even said it clear and loud to the King himself. The fact that no one has tried since should tell you everything you need to know.

So, let’s set the scene.

We are sitting in a room, by we, I mean myself, Shxny, Merinda, and Hudac, we’re all the heads of our respective circles and are friends? I think we kinda tolerate each other because we’re forced to be together 24/7. But c’est la vie, and all that cra-bapples. We're all half wasted and nearing the point of sending a lesser to go get us some Magic Grass™ when Shxny asks what's been everyone's craziest bucking night. Not counting Our Nights of the past of course.

Merinda goes on about the Mini Golf or Die! Tournament between herself and Cthulhu. I'd heard about it the last time I went to knit with him where he told the "epic" story of his battle to the "death" between him and Merinda.

As you can probably tell neither of them are dead, or can die at all, so the tournament was less life and death, and more about pride. Merinda's mostly. Cthulhu’s already got a name for himself, he could sing Barbie Girl or pronounce undying love to Teen Titans Go! and he'd still be one of the greatest forces in all of Tartarus. Merinda’s only known for her affinity to owls if you get my drift… I mean whenever you say her name you get a, “Who?”

And in all honesty, knowing Cthulhu’s side means that I know that either he was downplaying or she was exaggerating. Either way, it doesn't peak my top ten.

Hudac explained how he and a Doctor WDG once broke the dimensional walls and became overloaded by all the other worlds like ours that came into existence due to something called Fanfiction. I was pretty interested, being as I had met Doctor Goop before, but Shxny got bored of the science babble and cut him off. Hudac then proceeded to throw a shoe at their head.

Then it finally came around to me, I played with the knife in my hands? tentacles? hooves? and wondered... what's the nuttiest, utterly impossible night I've had ever?

Well, that is reserved to something a bit higher than an everyone rating so how about I tell you about a real funny one, don't worry it's totally not canon.

Wait what did I just say,

whatever, I've learned not to question it anymore.

It'd been a long day, mind you I literally live in hell so this really wasn't a new thing. I'd finished off the assigned work of the day and as long as no one messed up to the point of them calling me in then for once I might actually get a full night sleep. That’s a lightly placed “might” because demons, they’re not very smart. There are special ones, the criminal geniuses or serial killers, evil scientist types. But your run of the mill demon, nope. Maybe I’ll get an hour or two then RING RING and I’m back on my feet because Tartarus is a finely tuned machine, but now… Now not only a wrench, but the entire demon has fallen into the gears.

Now instead of sleeping I’m cleaning up one of their darn messes.

1---2---3 In---1----2---3 Out. Breathe Sarivel, now is the time for sleep. Well, one thing to do first:

Feed the cat-

what, no I'm serious. I have a cat, because well you know how cats are right? Plus, they’re a wonderful bonus for coming to Tartarus, right? They’re needy, destructive, Chaotic Evil, little sons of dragonequs’ and it can’t wait until later. Last time I did I woke up with half my foot gnawed off.

I’m not joking.

I was nearly at the cupboard when I felt something unnatural, but familiar. It’s like when you’re wearing headphones, just going about your day. Then, then the wire gets caught and it shocks you backs to reality so quickly it almost hurts.

That’s the best way to put it for someone who hasn’t been summoned before. Demons get summoned all the time, mostly in order to fix someone’s problems… for a *small fee of course.

And you can’t ignore a summons either, even if it’s not in your job description (which is true for me, I don’t leave hell much, and frankly I’m okay with that, this is my home after all), the longer you wait to answer the more uncomfortable you feel, especially in the end of your upper appendages. Sorry for the vagueness, demons don’t have real forms, we’re just swirling masses of shining black squid ink.

Oh, I feel sick, let’s get the dodge out of hell. Wait, sorry I’m too tired, too annoyed to think straight. This isn’t my job, my job is to stay in hell and make new demons by stitching together what’s left after a soul goes through the machine.

But no, I have some time to relax. Sleep maybe, and I am up and going to some stupid mortal world.

Bleh, maybe I’ll just go in my true form, make my summoner go bat-crap crazy.

Nah, I’ll just go on auto.

Getting to old for this sh-stuff.

“How exactly is this supposed to work again?” Spike asked… again, “I just mean Twilight that you just kind of found that spell, is it safe to just read it aloud?”

“Spike, who’s the Element of Magic and has defeated an Alicorn of darkness, the embodiment of Chaos, and went toe to toe against Tirek himself and made it to an impasse?”

“Twi, you’re the Element of Magic, but with those other things you had your friends or a bunch of crazy Alicorn magic by your side, what if- “

“Spike I will be fine, I can handle myself, this spell, from the translation is designed to summon something from another world, not somepony or anything alive. It’ll be an object, a very otherworldry and fascinating object, but an object none the less. I think I’ll have the upperhoof.” He still looked worried as her wrung his hands.

“Alright, but I’ll be right next door if you need me, Twi,” he smiled, I had hoped to have him go to Sugar Cube Corner while I ran this experiment, for his own precaution mostly. But I think this is the best that’s going to happen.

“Alright Spike, I’ll see you when I’m done.”

“Okay, see you in an hour, Twilight,” he said the door to the library swinging shut behind him. I sigh escaped, before I remembered why I was doing this.

Ooooooo, I’m so excited.

After the incident with the Tantabus, Princess Luna gave me (fangirl worthy giggle) permission to explore some more ancient texts to prevent something like that again. Which I did find something that would stopped the Tantabus in its tracks in some Buffalo texts, who knew, along with this fabulous spell. I hadn’t really been looking for it, but it was inside a Romane book about the Pony/Griffin Wars. I am pretty happy I found it, all books are amazing, I mean they’re books, but this one was… graphic. Not like books I found under Spike’s bed (shudder-gags) but still as brain bleach worthy.

Wish I could find a spell for that though.

Ugh, maybe someday I’ll make one. But this one, it was perfect. Or kinda, it was a mystery when I found it and took forever to translate into Modern Equestrian. It’s a spell to bring something here, not sure what, but an object from another world.

I let out a deep breath, preparing for the spell. I don’t have to say that an ill-prepared spell is the leading cause of a spell blowing up in your face.

“Propter terrat caelum etmare, proxima,” Despite popular theory, magic was a tangible thing, it just existed on a different plane of existence that ponies couldn’t see. But when performing powerful magic, you could feel it, which was what caused the Princesses’ manes to move like they do. Even now magic started to saturate the air. Papers flew up, the candles flickered to non-existent wind and the smell of iron permeated.

“…septanas veniot ego…”

“Whew, that was a doozy,” I said, brushing my hair back. It felt like I’d been holding up the sun, in a good way. Like how I think athletes feel.

“Okay, let’s see what we’ve got here,” I cast a small spell on the scroll and quill (a diction to text spell) before continuing, “Twilight’s Log After Summoning Sp-ell…” I trailed off, and for good reason.

The spell was specifically designed to bring a non-living object here, or I thought it was, no I knew it was. There’s a big difference between an object and a pony.

Yes, a pony showed up, unicorn mare, teal coat and a ruffled black and mint mane, ink well cutie mark. Not that I was staring at her flank, staring yes, I mean it’s been awhile since a spell messed up this bad.

“Um, hello?” I wanted to facehoof, I meet possibly a pony from an alternate dimension or far off planet and I have a stuttering, hello.

“I come all this way and all you got to say is hello, seriously!?”

Apparently, the mare didn’t like it either.

“Hey! You are in my home and for that matter how did you get here? The spell I designed was set specifically to bring an object here and you arrived instead! Also like I said this is my home and I understand I brought you, but that doesn’t give you the right to be rude to...” the unicorn was not even responding, just staring, “Are you even listening to me? How in Tarturus did you get in my home?”

Ugh, I feel like I coughed up my lung, I mean I don't have lungs, but if I did this is what it would feel like. Whoever cast this spell really bucked it up, bleh... I wiped the universal goo from my eyes feeling? hooves? I'm in Equestria, huh. I mean my Hell dimension is pretty multiversal so summons can come from a lot of different places. Like I said before we assimilate to the most common body type, but it’s been a long time since I’d been here. Not since the Reneighssance I think?

"Uh, hello,” I looked up at the pony in front of me, and I will sadly admit, I kind of lost my temper a bit, from the look of the summons this was an accident and there was no reason for me to be here. No reason for my lack of warm comfy bed.

“I come all this way and all you got to say is hello, seriously!?”

"Hey!"

I looked up from rubbing my head, noticing the pony in front of me.

The first thing I noticed was the eyes. Well, not quite the eyes, but what was behind them:

Her soul.

All multidimensional beings (demons, gods, angels, etc…) could see souls, but at this point in my very long life I had gotten used to them. Typically, they were white, and small, the size of a golf ball and gave off a small aura of the mortal’s favorite things.

But this one, by the King, it was beautiful. Big and blue, and when you looked at it you could smell old books and feel the excitement of learning one’s first spell and…

Then I realized she'd been talking.

"...re you even listening to me? How in Tarturus did you get in my house?"

I will admit, I giggled a bit at her wording, but I sobered quickly at the look on her face as well as the wings on her back, and the horn. Great, had to be an alicorn. Demons are powerful… in our element. In the dark and when we’re exposed to mentally/emotionally/physically vulnerable beings.

Basically, I was outgunned and outmanned by the frilly purple pony princess if you know what I mean.

“Um, it’s alright Miss…”

“Twilight Sparkle, and you?”

Oh, shi-shoot, I know who she is, and I hope to hell and back that my face isn’t showing it.

“S-ssar…*ahem* Sarivel,” I know, it’s like “chara” hard to know how to pronounce, but it’s my name. “To answer your question, I got into your,” I looked around, enjoying the crystal aesthetic and the shelves lined with books, “your very nice home, because you invited me.”

"Invited you?" she went from looks could kill to annoyed curiosity, she looked over the scattered papers, "I extensively studied this spell and while Ancient Romane isn't my forte, it still shouldn’t have summoned a living creature.”

I smiled briefly, before it fell, because I mean, I’m not living. And when it hit her, when she noticed that I wasn’t breathing, it would not go well.

"So, a summoning spell, can I see it?" I followed her gaze and lifted the paper, my brain focused on translating the words to Equestrian.

"You still haven't answered my question."

"What question?" I asked, not taking my eyes off the paper. Ahh, there it is…

“Oh, I don’t know, questions like how’d you hijack my spell and get here, where you’re from because I’ve never seen you before? Any of the above really?” deep breaths Twilight Sparkle, like how Cadence taught you.

“Ahhh,” she said, the universal symbol for understanding, the paper moved away from her face revealing the deep bags under her eyes. Something I, of course, had seen before on my own face after an all nightery spent researching the mating habits of diamond dogs while drinking a total of five Mega-Shots of Pinkie Juice which described by Applejack as “if coffee and nightmares had a baby.”

She was not wrong.

“Okay, I didn’t hijack your spell or anything like that, your spell was meant to bring an object from another dimension, right?”

I nodded, not really trusting myself to speak, yet.

She rounded on me with the paper, drawing us close. It was my re-translated spell.

“Exactly! Listen, Sarai-val, Sarivial…”

“Call me Sar.”

“Sar.”

“Yeah, listen, Miss Sparkle, your translation is a bit off, but the real issue is the candles, and your own extremely powerful magic. All in all, the spell did exactly as it was meant too.”

“But it wasn-“

“It was meant to summon a… well a demon…”

“Excuse me, I could have sworn you said, well this sounds silly, but I swore you said- “

"Demon." I finished. I hated this part, hated, hated, hated this part. Because she was about to scream or blast me with a spell so hard I might just be burned down to my bones. I can’t technically die, but I can feel pain, and I can tell you being exploded or burned down to the nub is one of the worst feelings in the world.

So, before dealing with any of that manure, which was coming as her pupils shrunk and her mouth opened... and became a zipper.

My spell, freezing her in place, ah heck.

Like I said, surprise it a good way of catching even the most powerful.

"Okay my dear. Listen up, this spell is for summoning demons, and because your spell was kind of vague it chose me, in all honestly most of these words," I shook the page, "aren't even Latin, or Ancient Romane or whatever the language it. You're a phenomenal spell caster, even in Tartarus we know your name, mostly cause Tirek never shuts up about it!" She started shaking, shoot not what I wanted.

"But, but Miss Sparkle, please. I’m not going to hurt you, I just didn’t want you screaming or setting me on fire, or something?! It’s very, very painful to be lit of fire.” I nodded at the end, seeing her beginning to stop shaking. I took a deep breath, ughhhh I just wanted to get a few hours of sleeeep...

"Okay, I am going to remove the Zipper-Up Spell and the restrictive spell, but before I do, I want you to nod and say you won't scream, understand?"

"Do you un-der-stand?" she rolled her eyes, nodding. Please, please don't scream...

"so, you've met Tirek?”

Thank the King and all his misshapen servants!

“Yeah, sorry about his escape, Cerberus’ field day a few years back threw us all a bit off schedule.”

“…and you’re a de-demon?”

“Yeah.” She nodded.

Well, that explains the name, it’s-it’s not a pony name, and I mean Tartarus exists so why not demons right?
I mean I’ve read about demon summoning’s before, but as Old Mare’s Tales. But that’s my life isn’t it (insert crazed laughter)? Nightmare Moon, Discord, Changelings, living nightmares, and now to top off the bucking crazy cake we have demons? And why not, I’m trying to test a spell in Romane and I butcher- oh Celestia. Do demons eat ponies? Are you going to kill me now that I’ve discovered your dark and tragic backstory, was my character’s level not high enough to unlock it?

“Take a breath,” said Sar, wait what? Can she read mind?

Laughter broke the camel’s back, “Miss Sparkle, I can’t read minds.”

“Then how?”

“You said all that stuff about me killing you aloud,” blood rushed to my cheeks, “and by the way. Like I said before I’m not going to hurt you, or kill you,”

”And my existence isn’t a secret… well it is, but it’s more like Equestria’s worst kept one.” She trailed off, laughing a bit, and shamelessly, I laughed a bit too.

At this point, I think I might be in shock. Or maybe I’m dreaming now?

If I am, Luna would you please wake me up?

No?

Well, alright then. There are demons that walk and talk, and look like ponies

Wait

“Are there other demons in Equestria?”

“Well, I wouldn’t know, this whole,” she gestured wildly, “mortal world/summoning thing isn’t really a part of my day to day life. But typically, there can be a little over a dozen up here at a time, I think.”

“You’re taking this surprisingly well,” I said, more ask than anything. I was expecting a much bigger freak out. I mean, there was a little one, but I had always heard she had legendary freak outs.

“Well, like I said I honestly shouldn’t be so surprised. I had a lot of trouble with the pronunciation, and it’s Ponyville. We can’t go a week without a monster attack, so this isn’t too much bigger, right?”

“Yeah, your Ancient Romane was pretty bad. Maybe,” Sarivel what are you doing… “maybe I could help you with translating other spells sometime, I mean I was there after all.”

“What, really! Did you ever meet Platomino?” Oh gosh I swear she had stars in her eyes.

“The philosopher, yeah, he was a pain in a half, but a surprisingly good kisser…”

“What, you’re joking?” she pushed me lightly. And I think I blacked out for a second.

“Oh my gosh are you okay, you look you’re about to fall over?” She was not wrong.

Hmmm, “I’m fine Miss Sparkle, just a bit tired is all.” A bit more than that. Demons can go for a while without sleep, but with how overworked I was I needed to get home before I passed out.

“You’re more than a bit tired, you can’t teach me Ancient Romane if you look like you’re going to fall over dead, wait- Can you even die?”

“Lesson for another day.” Oh void above I’ve got to… go, got pass out where I won’t be seen.

“You should lay down,” I felt her dragging me over to a couch. A soft couch, oh no, no, no Sarivel.

Sarivel, nope I’m not getting up,

I don’t think I can,

Ah, fu-

“Um, Sar?”

She’d looked exhausted from the moment we’d met, but it wasn’t until she passed out on the couch could you really see it. There were dark bags under her eyes and as soon as she hit the fabric she just slumped. Her breathing… she wasn’t breathing.

Well, that answered that question.

But if it wasn’t for that, you wouldn’t be able to take her out of a crowd.

KNOCK. KNOCK. KNOCK.

“Um, Twilight, how’s everything going?”

Horseapples, Spike!

“Yeah, everything’s great Spike! But don’t come in, I’m working on something.” I shouted, most likely louder than I should have. What, I suck at lying, and lying under pressure.

“Are you sure? What came from the spell?”

A demon.

“A book, it’s neat, but can only be read in the dark. So, just reading away, nothing important.”

There was a pause.

“Alright then, I’m going down to Sugar Cube Corner, do you want anything?”

“Um,” think, Sparkle, “Two of the special.”

“Okay, later Twi,” the clawed footsteps echoed down the hall.

I took another glance at Sar.

“Oh boy.”

FIN?

Author's Note:

“How will Twilight sneak Sarivel out?”

“Will Sarivel’s cat ever get fed?”

“And what is the Sugarcube Special?”

All these questions answered in Part Two: Twilight Sparkle Houses a Demon

Coming soon to theaters near you

...Eventually
But in all seriousness this took forever to write with college and doctor’s appointments and bleh! So, I will be taking a little time before writing part two, and I might not even if this doesn’t get a lot of views.

So if you liked this story please let me know, I need it too survive.

And tha-tha-that’s all folks!

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Stellar_

Stellar_ #1 · Nov 7th, 2017 · 2 · ·

Other than the seemingly random sudden POV shifts, its pretty good.

Cloverleaf

Cloverleaf #2 · Nov 7th, 2017 · · ·

Sugar Cube Special: a slice of triple layer 20 shot pinkie juice cake with espresso frosting. Is considered equivalent to a lethal injection for those with weak hearts

Starquake