Pinkie Pie
It's a dreary, rainy day. Ponies gallop across town, trying to find shelter from the harsh elements. But you walk along the roads of the little town as happy as can be undery your umbrella. You're on your way to the bakery, since on a cold, rainy day like this, a muffin and a cup of coffee sounds marvelous.
Plus... well. Maybe the bakery will be a bit empty. And if it is, maybe you can finally work up the courage to...
No. Stop. One-step at a time, Anon. Don't get your hopes up.
However, it's hard not to think about it sometimes. That kind mare behind the counter, Pinkie Pie, never fails to brighten your day with her optimistic attitude. The two of you would engage in pun wars when the store was quiet, and she always invited you to her many different parties. If you had a best friend in Equestria, you'd have to say it was her. It felt like the two of you went together like bread and butter.
As you press into the near-empty bakery, an involuntary smile forms on your face.
"Nonny! Thank goodness. I was sooooo boooreeeddd," she cries out, lying on the counter on her back. "Why are you upside down? I don't think it's healthy to walk on the ceiling, Anon. You should get checked."
"Why aren't you right side up?" you chuckle. "I just thought I'd come check out my favorite mare! I figured you could use some company on a day like today."
Pinkie rolls off the counter and back behind the register as her ears perk and her lips curl into a wide smile
"Ooookay! Want anything? It's on the house! There's no way we are going to sell all of these today. So, since we'll just have to throw out most of it, might as well give it away." Pinkie says.
"That's awful generous of you, Pinks. But maybe later," you reply. "Hey, if the bakery is gonna be that slow, why don't you just close up shop? We can hang out or somethin'. It's not like you'll be doing much."
"Oh! I don't have a problem running the store. It's no big deal! I love working the register. Mr and Mrs Cake wasn't even sure if they should open today, but once I came in I was sure to tell them that not even a little rain can stop us from selling treats! Except. Now I'm giving them away free to you. So all in all it sort of seems counterproductive. Oh well! Life's too short to sweat the small things like profit margins."
"Oh, I getcha," you reply, leaning on the counter. "Well, in that case, whatcha doin after work?"
Pinkie Pie pauses and ponders the possibility of her particular evening. She takes a moment to stroke an imaginary beard as she thinks to herself.
"Eh. I dunno. Probably going to talk to Rarity as she tries to focus on her work. She loves when I do that!"
"Oh, well that's cool." you reply, looking away. That's weird. Sure, you haven't just came out and said something yet, but you'd think the way you're asking if she wants to do things with you would be all of the subtle clues she'd need in order to get what you're asking. On the other hand, this is also Pinkie Pie we're talking about. She isn't necessarily known for picking up on subtle clues.
"Why?" she asks, picking up on your disappointment. You turn back to her, scratching the back of your head in nervousness. Well. It's now or never, Anon.
"Well, uh. I was wondering if you wanted to grab dinner tonight."
Pinkie gasps and smiles.
"Dinner with my best, bestest, bestie? Of COURSE! Ooohh! It'll be so fun! We could make it a big group outing! And we should invite Twilight, and Rarity... ooh. Rainbow would like it too-"
"Well, I mean like a date," you blurt out.
She pauses and looks back to you, her face blank.
"You know with just you... and I," you add, words vomiting out of your mouth.
Then, it feels as if the world stops. Pinkie just... isn't reacting. Did you say something wrong? Did you spit on her face or something? Why isn't she saying anything. She just studies you closer and closer.
Then, slowly, a smile creeps onto Pinkie's face. You feel your spirits lift. Her smile starts to show teeth, and you stand up straighter, feeling a swell of confidence within you. A snicker escapes her lips. You did it! You've actually managed to get a date.
Then, her laugh evolves to an uproarious laughter. You feel as if you were struck in the back with a baseball bat. Why? Why is she laughing?
"Oh, good one, Anon. You're always the best at deadpan humor."
A chill flows through you, as you feel the need to sit down, to collapse. Your legs feel as if they've turned to jelly as you turn on the spot, just trying to hold yourself together.
"Wait, were you serious? Anon?" Pinkie asks.
"Nah. Forget it," you say, moving back to the front door, and out into the rain. This time, deciding not to use your umbrella.
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Why to break a guys heart Pinks. Brutal.
I think I actually felt a knife pierce my heart on this one.
*Looks down
OH SH!T
Oh that is painful
There should be an it after loves.
Oh... my gawd that was... fucking brutal Pinks, :flutterouch: That was all kinds of brutal.
Damn its always the ones you least expect.
Nicely done
Aaaaand soon all hope is lost.
He should have kept on going after "You were serious." Pinkie could have been waiting for someone to ask her out but she never thought it would actually happen and anytime anyone actually gets to that point, they say it wasn't serious.
That was savage.
7929942 Amen. Now look up fix you by coldplay. "and the tears come streamin' down your face...."
Maybe my heart's cold or something, but that didn't seem brutal at all. It was just a miscommunication. I'm not even sure if the main character could actually be said to have asked pinkie at this point.
Ouch...
under
7929728 He couldn't though. Too much spaghetti.
Pinkie you beautiful bastard!
Excuse my manners... but what an unconsiderate easy giving up slug you are, Anon! Hmpf!!!
Urg, these are hard to read without cringing for that poor human bastard. Well done.
Would cringe again.
7929728
Exactly! Well said!
And I must congratulate the author on a marvelously illustrated example of what happens when two people fail to recognize how the other expresses affection. Anon here is showing all the signs of a native Quality Time speaker, while Pinkie naturally speaks the language of thoughtful Gift Giving. To Anon, a distraction-less date night would convey undivided attention and Pinkie's place of supreme importance to him. Yet Pinkie is used to reminding those closest to her of her affection through parties tailored to the guests.
...... *softly* ..... oh my hell.
7932624
When she laughed and said that he was always the best at deadpan humor, he should have stated that, "he was being 100% serious and that he wasn't joking at all this time." Instead of just leqving without saying a word and leaving Pinkie in the dark.