Anon and Femanon
You could say it was a match made in heaven. When you were the only human in an entire land of horses, it would suffice to say that things were... difficult. Ponies were generally scared of you, nopony really had in interest in befriending the asshole ape from another dimension. Let alone have some sort of 'other' interest in you. Well, that is, ones that aren't weird and/or crazy.
And then, like an answer to your prayers, another human arrived. A female human. When she arrived, you began to hope again. Your world was so far away, but here she is. She talked to you, laughed with you, and the two of you had a great time. You were each other's best friends.
It didn't matter if the ponies thought seeing two humans together was weird. She'd taken up residence in Twilight's basement, for the lack of any other available home at the time, and paid her rent. The details were fuzzy to you, but that's not the point. The point is that you were going to see if she wanted to move to he next step in your relationship. And, maybe? She won't need Twilight's basement anymore.
You march down the road to Twilight's treehouse and fill yourself with detrmination. You can do this. You got this. This should feel as natural as using a leaf to wipe. Stopping at the door, you knock three times and patiently wait.
"Coming," calls a high-puitched male voice from inside the treebrary.
The door opens to a young purple dragon, who looks at you with a furrowed brow.
"Heya, bro, what's up," Spike asks, his voice waivering.
"I need to speak to Femanon," you answer.
He bites his lip, then looks back inside as a purple unicorn trots to the door.
"She's not here," says Twilight, focusing on you. "Maybe you should come some other time.
Spike looks from you, back to Twilight, then back to you.
"Actually, she's downstairs in her room," says Spike, like the total bro he is. "You didn't see her come back in, Twi. Head on down, Anon."
"Thanks, little guy," you say, strolling to the basement door, knocking twice.
"Come in!" you hear her call from downstairs.
Opening the door, you head downstairs to her room, holding a bouquet of flowers behind your back. You leap down the stairs nearly three at a time. Once you hit the bottom, you see her, laying on a makeshift bed, pouring over a novel you loaned her.
"Hey, Fem. What's up?" you ask.
"Oh, bored. Just reading a book. You're right about this one, it's really great so far."
As she carefully swayed her feet in the air, she closes her book and looks to you.
"What's up with you?" she asks.
You unveil your flowers and do your best not to wear a stupid, dorky grin. You fail. You're only a little ashamed of yourself.
"I brought these for you," you answer. "And I was wondering if you wanna maybe... try making our friendship... well, an Us. Words. That was bad. That was dumb. Can I start over."
She raises off her the bed and walks directly up to you with a wide smile.
"It's about time" she giggles, placing her hands on yours and bringing her lips closer to yours. "Of course"
"Spike, this can't go on any longer," Twilight says to the baby dragon, sitting by the door. "This isn't healthy."
"I dunno, Twilight, maybe we shouldn't."
"It's not healthy for him to talk to himself," she continues. "Who knows what will happen next? We have to bring him back to reality."
"But, it's better than him being depressed all the time. And the wounds on his arms are all healed. Maybe... Maybe we should just let him have this, Twilight."
The unicorn and dragon exchange concerned glances as they look to the basement door, hearing the one-sided conversation unfold from downstairs.
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...oh. Well. Fuck.
7927611
fixed
Ow. Damn. That chapter physically hurt.
What Pencil said.
But femanon isn't a pony! The title is a lie...
well, that was depressing
This was a lovely set of brutalizing anons feelings.
Im rather amused by the whole thing.
It's about time someone wrote a realistic second person fic
I saw Tom and I immediately added to my reading list. I like rocks.
Oh man... ouch. So much ouch... now i need to go read an actual romance story to tip the scales back. And i just saw The Space Between Us earlier! That should have been enough. It wasnt.
Its like what whould really happen
I guess having your heart broken so many times breaks your mind too.
Booo.
Anyone tell you that you're a bastard Flutterpriest? Seriously, you and these ponies need a good slap to the face for driving poor Anon to insanity.
I haven't read this yet, but I accidentally read the title as " You Are Brutally Shot by Best Pony" which made my mind go immediately to the "mmm whatcha say" SNL sketch
Blatantly false advertising. This had nothing to do with mini-pants!
Rippity rip.
Yep
Again. God damnit, Priest...
(Gives like and fave.)
Pencil took the words outta my mouth XD
Whew lad, that was a trip. At least some of these were more tragic loves as opposed to depressing ends. Pinkie. Vinyl. CADENCE.
Holy CRAP! That ending though! Wow! Anon has hit a whole new level! Wow!!!! Great job!!!!
I really want this to expand into a new set of stories. It's so good, and I just finished reading.
Now I'm sad.
Not sad enough, though. :p
You know what would be even more depressing? If your own delusions start rejecting you.
Wow, just wow... Great story, really got me.
Anon has a limit on how many rejections he can take per day.
It all comes tumbling down, tumbling down, tumbling down...
Maybe he needs to think outside the box. Try some griffons or minotaurs.
7927704
Because. Anon is best pony.
If there's ever a sequel to this, it would have to involve Anon only getting asked out by ponies the fandom hates.
I don't know why I can relate to just this one chapter.
I'm starting to wonder - did Anon ask out all these girls, or is it meant to be different stories instead?
Regardless, it would be interesting to see the reaction of the mares he asked out before as he slowly comes apart. :)
7930384 I'm not saying she shouldn't be angry he asked her to be with him while she was married. I never even implied that. That's foul on Anon's part. He shouldn't have expected her to just leave her entire life for him. And yeah, he's being a baby about it by not wanting to be friends despite his feelings. But Cadence still shouldn't have gone full bitch like that because he probably wanted to be distant from then on. Maybe he saw any further involvement in her life as too awkward, or maybe he didn't trust himself to not try anything ever again. Maybe he saw himself one day resenting her in the future and didn't want that to happen.
Look, I admitted to being too close to something like this. In all honesty, if I didn't have the bias of being in couple situations like this before, I'd probably agree wholeheartedly that Anon doesn't deserve to try and be a home wrecker and then mope about failing. I won't pretend I'm giving an unbias assessment of the situation.
7930581 I say kill anaon fo' dat.
Oh shit, all the stories are connected! Anon is going through rejectception
7929919 i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/533/409/45b.png
How is this over? There's still so many ponies to be rejected by! Like...Luna...the rest of the mane six! Chrysalis, Trixie, Derpy, Sunset, Starlight, Lyra....SO MANY PONES! O.O
All to be....rejected....by...
....Damn....
more rejections!
please, there's still so many ponies left!
A good four minutes later and I'm still feeling that. Well played Flutterpriest, well played.
7931568
7931656
Okay, well Fridge Horror time. What if the reason the story is complete is because Anon never escaped from his delusions.
Wow so that means that femanon was really anon. wow that makes the Big Mac episode hilarious lol.
This story appears to take inspiration from my story, You Meet Twilight Sparkle. Check it out!
7932374
A-are... are you advertising your story in the comments of another story?
7932425
Unless there's a rule against it, yes, that's what I'm doing.
(sorry)
7932425 So is this going to continue to update even or is the complete tag truly a "complete" tag? And if so, will there be a sequel?
>Best Pony
>Rarity in the Cover Art
>No Rarity Chapter
Why do you do this?
This kills the Anon.
7932475
Maybe I'll add more chapters later when I feel like it, on a whim. But I don't want anyone to expect it. Thus the complete tag. This is a compilation of short stories, so there could end up being more in the future, but likely not.
Basically: I 'unno.
...
Wow. Just. Holy depression.