Never Forget

Twilight Sparkle wakes up, realizing she had been strapped down with metal chains. A pony wearing a dark cloak walked up to her. A glowing smile greeted Twilight and sent a shiver down her spine.

"Hello, Twilight Sparkle", the cloaked mare said. There was a silence. Then Twilight spoke up.

"you, how... how do you know my name?", Twilight asked. The empty room echoed her words as she waited for a response.

"I know you. I'm sure you know me", said the dark pony. "But, I also know your friends. They should know me".

The dark pony used her magic to illuminate the dark room. In the far corner was all of Twilight's friends chained up like she was. They breathed a sigh of relief. The cloaked mare had threatened to kill Twilight.

"My, friends...", Twilight said, suddenly more frightened. "Why?"

The unicorn replied in a quiet, but creepy, voice.

"Revenge..." The unicorn walked over to where Twilight's friends where. There was a brown, rusty box. She opened it to reveal a collection of knives. Brand new, sharp knives.

Twilight gulped as she watched the unicorn release Fluttershy from her chains. Fluttershy started crying and shivered in fright. The knife made a cut through Fluttershy's leg. Blood dripped from it and Fluttershy fell to the ground.Her bones and muscle was now visible.

"no!", Twilight screamed. Next thing she knew, a knife went flying her way and went right through her left front hoof.

"Ah!", she screamed in pain.

The dark pony left Fluttershy on floor. She knew she wouldn't be able to escape. The weakling. The others were a different story. She took a different knife, a sharper knife, and pushed it through Rarity's leg.

"Ahh! Please! Stop!", Rarity screamed in pain. But the knife only went deeper in. Rarity started to cry, her mascara running down her cheeks.

"Get your hooves- er um, knife off her!", Apple Jack screamed. "You leave Rarity alone!"

The unicorn quickly pulled the knife out of Rarity's leg. Rarity shrieked in pain. With the same knife, the dark pony cut Apple Jack's flank and pieces of skin fell off. Apple Jack didn't cry, but she was still in immense pain. She almost screamed. And she did when the dark pony took the knife out of Apple Jack's flank. She then pushed it through Apple Jack's right back leg. She left the knife in Apple Jack's leg and moved on to Pinkie Pie.

"Please", Pinkie said. "No..."

"Yes...", replied the dark unicorn. She smiled.

With a new knife, she stabbed Pinkie Pie right in the chest. Slowly pushing it in until it came out her back. She quickly pulled it out and stabbed through Pinkie Pie's stomach. She was dead now.

"That's for the rock farm", the dark pony whispered.

"No!", Twilight screamed. She began to cry. Tears streaming down her face as the dark pony moved on to Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow struggled to kick the dark pony, but could barely move her hooves. Instead, she got one chopped off. The knife went right through her hoof.

"Ah!', Rainbow screamed. And Rainbow Dash actually began to cry.

"Please", Twilight said "Stop".

The dark unicorn paused. She turned to Twilight and smiled.

"I will stop. I will spare your friends. I will let them live. Let them free. Let them the leave", the dark pony said.

"Than do it", Twilight said strongly. She had hope.

"Under one condition, I take your life instead", the cloaked unicorn with a chuckle.

They all gasped and Twilight froze in shock. An eerie silence filled the room as Twilight thought this through. The unicorn picked up the knife as a sign to make her hurry up. She turned to Rainbow Dash and-

"Stop!", Twilight yelled. "Kill me".

They all gasped once more.

"No! Twilight!", the rest of Twilight's screamed. But it was too late. A butcher knife had been stabbed right into Twilight's chest. The dark pony cut off Twilight's wings, hooves and horn. She was dead. She was gone forever.

Twilight's last words had been," I'll never forget you. I will always remember".

The dark unicorn removed her cloak to reveal a blue unicorn.

"Trixie?!", they gasped.

"I'll never forget you! I'll never forget what you all did to me! I tried to forgive and forget, but I never forgot", Trixie said with a chuckle and, despite her deal with Twilight, killed the rest of her friends.

She slowly cut of both of Rainbow Dash's wings, smiling as she saw the pain uh her eyes. She cut through her flank and stomach. She was dead.

Rarity got stabbed in the chest. The sharp knife going slowly into her chest and coming out fast. A last last look of pain filled her before she was dead. A saw ended up through Apple Jack's neck. Slowly, the saw made it's way all around Apple Jack's neck until her head fell off. She was dead. They were all dead, except for one.

Trixie walked away and left Fluttershy lying on the floor.

Still crying, Fluttershy asked, "Why didn't kill me?"

"I'll never forget you", Trixie said. "The one who never really did anything against me. Who didn't ruin my life".

Fluttershy stayed there as Trixie walked away. Crying over her friend's dead bodies, Fluttershy wished she had gotten killed, too.

"I'll never forget you, I promise", Fluttershy said crying. Tears flowing down her face. "Never!" The water from Fluttershy's eyes flowing onto her friend's dead bodies.

No matter what happens, I tell you all. Always remember those who stood up for you. Those who sacrificed themselves, those who died, those whom you held close to your heart. Never forget them.

THE END

Author's Note:

This is my first spooky story. hope you enjoyed. and remember, never forget those important things that often slip our minds.

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LoneUnicornWriter

LoneUnicornWriter #1 · Jan 18th, 2017 · 1 · ·

This was a dark and sad story. Clearly it was intended to go that way. I definitely got the moral of the story through the title and the chapter. Which is pretty good. Though if I may make a few pointers. One is not to give the moral of the story in the story title and chapter titles because it kills the point in reading onward. Two is that message flows smoothly which what could really get at an adequate level. I could understand it, but grammar, punctuation, and style are key factors in a reader reading through your story without possible struggle or confusion. And three, always make sure that your short and long description are done very good because they the face to your story, your work, and you want to show the best impression possible for a reader to decide whether or not s/he should read further.

So I think before publishing future stories, that should have an editor and a proofreader check your story and story descriptions. Besides those pointers, I think it can be a better story than it already it is.

Rainedash

Rainedash #2 · Jan 18th, 2017 · 1 · ·

First and foremost, you badly need someone to proofread your stuff before posting it. Even the description has a missing word. Aside from that, there's really nothing to this story other than an attempt at shock value. However, blood, torture, and death at this point just aren't shocking in an MLP story anymore. That ship sailed a long time ago.

MyLittlePony296