5. Princess Luna's Stars Do Not Swirl
Dear Small Pony Book,
I hope you weren’t too upset that my last entry was cut a little short. Flurry Heart decided that I had spent enough time writing my entry and decided to pounce upon me, as I have done to her whenever she attempts to escape bath time. Fortunately for your pages (and my pencil), she made far too much noise for it to be considered a pounce. It was more a flying tackle by a giggling, babbling foal.
Teaching her proper technique will be paramount. I would hate to rob her of that crucial skill.
With that said, I was writing about Learning Day with Princess Cadence when I left off. She was about to tell me the story of why Princess Luna could be a bit finicky with her stars.
There was a bit of a gap between her mention of the tale and when she actually began to share it with me, as the palace staff had walked in with her meal. Princess Cadence chose to eat a bit of heavenly scented onion and leak soup—she said something about dinner being bigger that evening, and it was, so I could hardly argue. I chose to abstain, as her love would be more than enough to nourish me. Feeding upon her and then eating their food would be incredibly greedy and, I daresay, rather rude.
Also, if I made it a habit, I’d probably end up overweight. That is unacceptable. How would I be able to teach Flurry Heart important lessons like proper pouncing, hiding when sought, and, most importantly, protect my hosts if I were a bloated blob of a changeling?
Certainly not well.
I waited patiently for her to finish, and chose to busy myself by indulging in what has become a hobby of mine: pony architecture. Changeling hives aren’t like pony structures. Our hives are as ever-changing as us—what is a door one moment might not be one the next, and you may just find yourself in a room that had three exits but suddenly has one. Ponies might call this chaotic, but it’s a safety measure for us. We can navigate easier because of our senses and the way our minds work. Enemies of the hive or food, on the other hoof, would be lost because they think like their history.
Too linear.
Really, I must wonder how that works. How can a pony pretend they have all the details if they don’t note that history is less a straight line, more an interconnecting web of events that happened a certain way as told by Chitin the Conquerer? Or another strand of the same event as told by Lacewing the Lascivicious, who contradicted Chitin’s account and deposed him as ruler of the Badlands Hive shortly thereafter? Not to mention Morrigan, the Temptress of the Mountains and her famed brothels in what is now the Smokey Mountains, and her union with wily Winsome of the Southern Plains.*
Pony architecture, as stated, is similar. Always fixated, never changing unless they brought in a full team of crafts ponies to “remodel” and “refurbish,” and so strangely … not alive. It may seem strange, but, for all the faults of the Badlands Hive (of which, there are a great many), I do miss the hive structure itself. It was more than just a place we slept, bred, fed, and kept our charmed ponies. It shared in our will and nature.
The hive was alive.
The Crystal Palace was not. It stayed stagnant, unchanging, but beautiful in its own right. From the way the columns seemed to grow from the floor, to how the windows made a rainbow of colors for Flurry to coo at when the sun hit just right, and even how the archways and corridors shimmered like the crystal ponies in the staff, and glowed as though the Crystal Heart’s power thrummed through every inch of the city. Judging by the protective shield and the amount of love in the very air, I’m inclined to believe that is the case.
“So,” Princess Cadence began, effectively pulling me out of my staring contest with the wall. She dabbed a droplet of soup from her lips, then spoke again, “Auntie Luna’s stars. Now, normally, you’d think there wouldn’t be a problem with them being, ah, swirled, right?”
I blinked. “But Star Swirl—”
She shook her head and waved her hoof side-to-side. “Forget Star Swirl for a moment. Star Swirl never had the magical talent to mess with her sky. We can cover him when we discuss ponies with historically significant contribution to magic, if you like.”
“Ah,” I intoned dumbly. Mentally sticking that in a cocoon for later, I asked, “So, if Star Swirl was not responsible for swirling her stars, what relevance does your tale have to the notion?”
“Oh, you’ll see!” A grin nearly split her face. I tasted a hint of spice, a sort of delighted glee that came with a fun memory, accentuated by the light shining in her purple eyes. With a quick jerk of her head, she tossed the curls of her mane over her shoulder, and shifted in her seat cushion. “What do you know about Discord?” she asked.
My eyes must have gone as wide as dinner plates. Discord? The Lord of Chaos? The Bane of Harmony?
Of all our enemies, Discord was at the top of the list. Even the First Mother hissed and recoiled from his power, fearful that he might turn her hatchlings’ chitin to fluff or our nice, warm cocoons to ice cream.
“I know that Queen Chrysalis hated him,” I replied. “And that we were taught to flee from him on sight.”
“Ah, well, don’t worry about him.” She waved me off. “He’s reformed. Mostly. He’s actually rather close with one of Twilight’s friends, and he’s even managed to calm down enough to have tea with the other princesses and I since the incident with Tirek.” Princess Cadence gave a tiny cough and flick of her ear, a sign of discomfort. But she moved on before I could prod. “Anyway, he’s a friend … but he’s sort of a nuisance sometimes.”
I frowned. A nuisance to my hosts was something I had yet to encounter. The crystal ponies were loathe for their benevolent rulers—well, our benevolent rulers—want for anything, and all the Royal Guards who came over from Equestria proper embodied the professionalism and respect Shining drilled into recruits every day.
While I knew she strictly forbade it, I decided then and there that I would sink my fangs into him the instant he tried anything to negatively influence my hosts’ day.
A sudden twist to my earfin yanked me out of my thoughts. I yelped in pain, clapping my hoof over my poor earfin. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed a familiar cerulean glow around Princess Cadence’s horn fading away. Her grin had faltered. In its place, a stern frown marred her beautiful face. “Thorax,” she said, “you are not to try biting Discord because I said he can be a nuisance.”
My jaw dropped. “What gave me away?”
“Your eyes flashed green,” she drawled. “When I say Discord is a nuisance, I mean he plays tricks that can be annoying. He’s gotten better about not being too wild. Mostly.” Another cough and shifting on her cushion. She rustled her wings. “That aside, Discord plays a direct role in the story.”
“… Does Princess Luna bite him for his offense?”
“No. But she did chase him around Canterlot, zapping him with magic each chance she got.”
“Okay.” The information was worthy of silent praise for the Night Princess. Her way of dealing with poor behavior wasn’t quite as forceful as ours, but it certainly got the point across. I settled in my cushion and nodded in approval. A princess should discipline the Lord of Chaos if he messed about in her domain. “How does it get to that point, then?”
Princess Cadence laughed and shook her head. “Well, it seems that Discord thought it would be a good idea to go on a weeklong prank spree while Shining and I were visiting our families. He spelled all the sweets in the palace to grow legs and run away anytime Celestia tried to take a bite, he put a rather impressive spell on the library that switched every other page of the books with nonsense magazine articles, but with a twist.” She had to hide a smile behind her hoof. “It only worked when Twilight tried to read a book. To everypony else, nothing was amiss.”
Despite my disapproval of his defiance, I couldn’t help but give a hum of acknowledgement. While not a trick we changelings would pull (mostly because we don’t possess that sort of magic, but also because it’s not our preference), I could appreciate alternative methods. Especially a good one.
Please don’t tell Princess Twilight I said that, Small Pony Book. She might take offense and decide that I’m not allowed to visit Spike.
I would be a very sad changeling if that should happen.
After a brief pause to take a sip of her tea, Princess Cadence continued, “Twilight was torn. I think she wanted to be angry, but she was too impressed with the skill that went into such a spell. Sort of a mixed bag there.”
“Did he do anything to you and Shining?” I asked, cutting her off before she could get too much into Princess Twilight’s tendency to research and study everything that caught her eye.
She snorted. “As a matter of fact, yes. We got off a bit easy, which caused a bit of a stir with my aunts and Twilight. They accused us of colluding.”
“Did you?”
“Of course not. But when you compare what he pulled on them with the minor Color Change spell he cast on Shining and me, it does seem a bit suspicious.” She pulled a face. “I might be making a leap, but I think he kept it that way so he wouldn’t scare Flurry. So, if you just picture Shining with my coat and mane colors, and me with his …”
It took a few seconds, but I managed to conjure the image for myself. I gaped at her, my mouth twitched, unsure if I should laugh or try to force a frown in sympathy for her plight—not that I imagined she or Shining couldn’t pull off each other’s colors, but …
Well, Shining in pink.
I covered my mouth, hoping to hide my grin.
Princess Cadence caught me. Her eyes danced. “Yes, it got more than a few chuckles. But Discord saved his best for Luna on the last night of our visit. Made worse by the fact that she knew he’d be up to something when he joined us for dinner on the balcony, held late enough that we could see her beautiful night sky.”
Right about then, it hit me. My grin slipped away as I let my jaw drop. “No,” I muttered dumbly. “He wouldn’t.”
“Wouldn’t he?” She let out a low, ominous chuckle. Shaking her head again, she sighed. “Discord let us sit there through the entire meal, wondering what he was going to pull. There was no exploding eggplant or frozen soup, he even let Auntie Celestia have her cake without it running away. He waited until the very end, when everypony had finished eating. And then—” She brought a hoof to her forehead, smiling despite herself “—he leaned back in his seat, folded his arms behind his head, and told Auntie Luna that he very much approved of the new artistic direction she’d taken with her stars.”
My heart skipped a beat. I sat, torn between admiration of his gall and disbelief of how indescribably foolish Discord was to dare sit in Princess Luna’s presence and direct her attention to the very night sky he’d hijacked for his own designs.
“We all looked up and stared,” Princess Cadence continued, “awestruck at the sight of all of Auntie’s carefully crafted constellations, her beautiful North and South Stars, all of it thrown into a tizzy like … well …” She floated her cup to rest before me and motioned for me to look down. I obeyed. The tinkling of magic tickled my earfins, a tendril snaked its way into the warm liquid.
The tea began to boil. Bubbles sputtered and swirled about in a miniature whirlpool, moving in no discernible pattern as her magic stirred. This way and that, forward, backward, sideways, everywhere and nowhere. The tiny cup of tea was a flurry of motion too strange for the eye to follow.
Complete chaos. Just as Discord would want. And to wrest control of the stars from the Night Princess herself, even for a brief moment …
I swallowed a lump. “I take it Princess Luna lost her temper with him shortly after?”
“Almost immediately. Discord was ready to run, though. He shot right off the instant she turned her eyes upon him, fully knowing that she was ready to rip him apart.” Princess Cadence took her tea cup again, hiding a frown behind it. “I’d never seen Auntie Luna lose her temper like that since returning. Her eyes glowed pure white, and she put a few good cracks in the castle stones. Auntie Celestia spent hours fixing them.”
It took me some time to pick my jaw up off the floor, as I’ve heard other ponies say. Such power. Such fury.
I was, at that moment, very glad I hadn’t run afoul of Princess Luna during the ill-fated invasion of Canterlot. Suddenly, Princess Cadence battering Libulella’s face and breaking Duplicitous’s everything seemed like nymph’s play. Or like a cat batting at a mouse.
Though, I daresay I would not squeak when Princess Luna’s gaze fell upon me and her lips curved into a wicked smirk. Chitter in fear, on the other hoof …
“Well,” I began, licking my lips. When had they gone dry? “I shall never attempt to swirl Princess Luna’s stars, lest I invite her wrath.”
“Good call,” Princess Cadence replied. Then, her ears twitched. “Oh, that actually reminds me of something! I forgot about Auntie Celestia’s letter!”
Why did that matter to me, I wondered. Oh, how blissfully unaware I was in that instant.
My blissful innocence vanished as she floated a letter that she’d kept hidden beside her left flank, out of my line of sight. Her smile was as sweet as honey, cake, and love. “We’re going to visit them in Canterlot next weekend. And they’ve both asked to meet you.”
“… What?”
Remember me as I was, Small Pony Book.
And may the First Mother have mercy on this poor changeling.
*We need to talk.
- Shining Armor
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Hummm... I think that the Changelings would appreciate James Burke's 1978 series Connections
.
Changeling History! ... Oh! And this is gonna flow into the Canon adventure at Season 6's end! Cool! Also, Discord!
We need to talk. Oh boy.
leek soup
"Not to mention Morrigan, the Temptress of the Mountains and her famed brothels in what is now the Smokey Mountains"
This raises so many questions. If Changelings could successfully feed on lust instead of love a brothel would be so much easier and less risky than Chrysalis's invasion and infiltration scheme. Implying that they can't.
If Morrigan's hive wasn't getting food from the brothels what were they getting? Just money? Were the brothel's customers changelings from other hives who could pay in love?
Was Morrigan a changeling at all? Who was she? The impression I got of Chrysalis and her arrogance is that any history lessons given by her hive probably wouldn't mention non-changeling historical figures unless they were a Celestia or Discord level Big Deal.
I've noticed that seems to be your solution for most of everything you take a disliking to, Thorax. Somepony makes a threat to an ally, big or small? Bite it. Stubbed a hoof on a chair? Bite it. Pen left an unsightly ink blotch in Small Pony Book? Bite it (the pen, not Small Pony Book).
...I could go on.
7917757 Well, if the pen wasn't so insolent, Thorax wouldn't have to discipline it!
Farethewell, brave Thorax. You will be missed.
7917757 Hey, it's surprisingly cathartic. I do feel kind of bad about the bite marks on that rental car's steering wheel, though...
Not fond of the idea of Luna being able to move stars unless the story bothers to explain how the world's stars areally different.
7917591 As unfamiliar as he is with pony culture, I think a mistake like that could be in-character for him to make. Does he actually know what a leek is?
Shining, bring Cadance with you when you leave.
7918213 Being a millennia old deity, if not older, might have something to do with that.
Fascinating attitude on history. What actually happened matters less to a changeling than the strength of the historian. That says a lot.
As for the upcoming visit... Well, I'm sure Thorax won't know what'll hit him.
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7924171 So I wasn't just looking too much into it? I'm glad that I am not the only one seeing a connection there, and it seems terribly coincidental.
This chapter was really funny and enjoying!
I couldn't stop smiling about what Discord did. You should write that into a story, it would be so funny and random for sure.
This sounds like a very inappropriate and very unusual euphemism.
...
I approve.
7918213 Celestia moves the sun (A STAR), and we are talking about a magical world of adorable, talking, candy-colored equines, precious bug ponies, dragons that act as instant mail transporters, and where sound travels faster than light while a pony ignores G-Force to turn 90 degrees instantly. Clearly, physics need not apply in 100% capacity. Especially in a Comedy/Slice-of-Life fanfic.
7933851
It's a cliche and cliches are never good unless used in satire or parody forms. It's one that also shows a pretty severe lack of understanding in what a star is.
Celestia may move the sun and it is a star but that's where the similarities between what moving the sun and the stars of the night sky differ.
Some of those stars will have an insanely larger distance from the planet, a lot of those stars will easily dwarf the size of the sun and some of those stars could actually already be dead despite the light reaching the planet because that's how the light from stars work.
So Luna somehow reaching years to light years away moving a bunch of massive stars that may or may not exist genuinely breaks suspension of disbelief even in the MLP world unless you do something like Myths and Birthrights and explain how its possible to move stars.
7935014
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Also, it's a fantasy world. Celestia moving the goddamn sun makes no effing logical sense if you apply any word of what you've said into MLP. Fantasy cartoon logic applies. Deal with it. Or don't, I cannot stress how little I care. Apply a downvote and toddle off if that rustles your jimmies.
7935014
Oh my gosh, you're right.
It's almost like this story is based off an entirely magical, cartoon universe where ponies can have pianos dropped on them and walk it off with hardly a scratch.
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7935014 Forgive me for focusing on this single thing, but that's a bit harsh on cliches ): Cliches aren't inherently bad. A lot of them arise from things that the audience wants (and then as time goes, expects). The guy gets the gal. Good wins out in the end. The climax will happen at the end. They can be used as shorthand to get across something to the audience, they can be used to carry a mood, to create a scene. Cliches, like most things, are good tools when used in moderation.
7936617
No cliches are inherently bad which is why they're called that. They're unoriginal and lack creativity and in some ways are lazy shortcuts. "Getting the girl" and "good triumphs over evil" are fine if you be creative about it and find some way of writing it so that you separate yourself from the piles of stories that do the exact same thing to make yours memorable. Not if you just go it happens just because I/author says so.
I used Myths and Birthrights as an example in the "controlling the stars" cliche because I'll always remember it as it left an impression by being descriptive and taking a common fanon and turning it into something new and made it into a way that made sense. Because "cartoon logic" excuse can only go so far in "she can move them deal with it".
7937167 the funniest part about your posts is that you imply this to be a major part/the main point of the story as it was in those others rather than what it is: a bit of flavor texting for a story about Thorax.
And no, I don't have explain every world building/flavor text aspect of a story. That would make for something ridiculously long and distract from the actual thing.
7937167 So, here's a fun little gem I found.
-description of Princess Luna from Hasbro's My Little Pony mobile game, as verified here.
The above statement is canon. Princess Luna does, in fact, control the stars. The question of how, besides just being an arbitrary question unless you also ask how unicorns work, is irrelevant. Her control over stars as well as the moon, just like Celestia's power over the sun, is entirely canon. No author is under any obligation to explain their choice to attribute power over stars to her, any more than they are obligated to explain why grass is green or why horses can breathe.
And you are certainly not entitled to demand explanation, or imply that a story is lesser without an explanation.
I look forward to your continued blithering. The popcorn's just about ready.
7937167 Tropes are not necessarily bad.
7939074
7937310
First, I don't even touch the Hasbro Game nor did I even know people even bothered to reference it for anything. It comes off as practically obscure that people use it for canon even less than the comics and people are iffy about those. So excuse me for sticking by what goes in the show only unless a story explicitly shows/tells me they're using something more for their (head)canon.
Second, I have never demanded an explanation. Nor have I implied this story is any lesser because I wasn't fond of the cliche.
Here's an idea, chill the fuck out.
All I did was post a comment saying I wasn't fond of an aspect of the story. That's all. Someone responded to me saying that and I gave a reasoning on why I didn't like said aspect because I felt it was over-the-top without a plausible explanation and I've seen it done too often.
But apparently that's enough for people to get incredibly defensive and pull out the torches.
God forbid I don't like some part of a story. God forbid I give a little criticism. God forbid I ask on how someone can apparently grab giant balls of fire from years to light years away (that may already be dead), can move them around/control them at will but lose to a storm or people who aren't as over-the-top as Discord for some consistency.
I'm not saying it was a major part of the story nor was I asking for you to go on a massive tangent. One or two paragraphs would've been enough to explain it. I would've just liked the idea of an explanation or details to separate yourself from any other story that just goes "she can do something so mindblowing as moving stars, you don't need anything more". I read your stories. I like your stories and I think you're far better writer than "flavor text" which just sounds like padding or what you see on the bottom of trading cards. Flavor text sounds like it's not even worth it so if that's the case then why should I even bother reading it other than just cause. If it's there make it cool and unique.
7944650 Looking back, you're the one who started browbeating another commentor, so don't play the victim card. I stepped in after you pulled your whole "its cliche and cliches are always bad" tripe out. And no, you weren't criticising. That would involving bringing up an actual point within the universe and defending it from a logical stance. You did not. You applied a physics lesson that can be tossed out the window with "the sisters move the freaking sun and moon," in mind and the proceeded to claim that the fantasy aspects and cartoon physics of the show could not be used as explanation.
... and now you're saying that Moriarty's point doesn't really count because it didn't come from the show. Choose one. God forbid you raise a point and actually bring substance to back it up rather than hopping around.
As for "flavor text is pointless," don't read a fantasy book ever. It'll drive you nuts with how much of the world building is there just to show off how different the setting is and have little bearing on the actual plot. And that does apply because, let's be honest here, this is an everyday conversation between characters--they have no reason to stop and say "oh, the stars move because x, y, z" for the benefit of the reader. For Thorax in particular, he knows the princesses move the sun and moon. Do you really think "one also moves the stars" is going to make him go "wait, what"? The guy has to test things to see if they're edible, turns himself into a vase to hide from Shining Armor when he's not at fault for something, and thinks biting is a good way to discipline. The sharpest knife in the drawer he is not, and I say that with love.
7945015 I was "browbeating" another commentor? What?
In absolutely what way did I did I even attempt to intimidate or verbally abuse Maikou. There is literally nothing in that response to Maikou that comes off as insulting or even condescending to them. Maikou responded to me, and then responded by giving a more in depth reasoning on why I didn't like the cliche. That's all there was.
Then you come out and tell me to Deal with it, downvote your story and leave as if I started trash talking your entire story. I didn't. I only said I didn't like one aspect of your story. Seriously, calm down.
And discrediting it as not criticism? It sounds more like you simply don't like it. I've repeated twice why moving the sun and moon is different from the stars logically (distance, size, and the fact that those stars may even be dead) but also the idea of doing something like that would be so grandiose (this is practically DBZ Super level stuff) that it would need an explanation particularly when her sister and her somehow lose to beings that aren't inherently at Discord-level of power or a winter storm.
Except I never said his point doesn't count. I said I never touched the Hasbro Game so I didn't know anything about it. People reference it less than the comics from what I've seen and unless authors/story is basically telling me they're referencing the comic, books, etc then I'm sticking by the show unless otherwise stated (like an AU tag).
Here's an idea. Just start with this next time rather than telling someone who dislikes a small aspect of your story to fuck off and downvote like they insulted your first born child. Had you bothered explaining it like this as you said, its a conversation and not an exposition dump I've would've accept that explanation because I overlooked it.
7945093 Okay, time out for one legit question: how did you overlook that? No joke, because the only place it came up was Cadence telling Thorax the story. It wasn't like Thorax just watched Luna put the night sky together or said "oh, and she does x".
7945093 Okay. Let's try a different tack.
Why can the Princesses move the Sun and the Moon?
When is the next update?
I'm confused at why Shining asked to talk to Thorax because of the thing he wrote. Does anyone know?
7945201
When there's no explanation given I like to go with Admiral Tigerclaw's: the power required for teleporting goes up linearly based on size, but exponentially based on the distance traversed. Sure it takes a lot of power to move a star, but the princesses have access to lots. So Celestia moves the star a foot at a time (or something small like that), it's just that their magic operates on microwave frequencies, so it happens millions of times a minute, resulting in some very dramatic "movement." The same goes for the moon, and...
Damn... he didn't have Luna moving the other stars in the galaxy. Back to the drawimg board.
7957042 I do appreciate the effort in explaining it, but I feel like that would just cause more problems depending on what your headcanon for what the teleportation spell actually does is—is it "move x through space to point y" or is it "move x through a hole in spacetime so that it reappears in space y"? That said, I'm not sure I can see it working in general because canon has Twilight moving the sun and moon (albeit clumsily) as if she is simply manipulating a very large object. Granted, that doesn't stop, ah, the fandom from theorizing, but it kinda pokes a hole in the idea.
Updates?
7957088 How's the next chapter coming along?
You're welcome to try, but I can't guarantee that it'll do anything.
He could very easily turn your venom into chocolate milk, and then you into a frog.
He's also good at messing with your mind - he almost won by doing this, back when he first broke out of his statuesque prison. The only reason he lost was because he didn't block dragon-fire communications, or separate Twilight and Spike.
Or he could just simply strand you in his dimension, which a certain mail-pony knows all too well how bizarre it is.
leek
The crystal ponies were loath for their benevolent rulers—well, our benevolent rulers—to want for anything,
You know thorax despite that you have no combat abilities I will have to admit when it comes to being loyal especially to your friends you do anything to protect them and that's pretty cool of you
It took a few seconds, but I managed to conjure the image for myself. I gaped at her, my mouth twitched, unsure if I should laugh or try to force a frown in sympathy for her plight—not that I imagined she or Shining couldn’t pull off each other’s colors, but …
Well, Shining in pink.
I covered my mouth, hoping to hide my grin.
Oh my God lol I can imagine Discord will pull something like that and that would be funny to see that and I'm sure that's there is fan art about color swap of characters but still that it'll be hilarious
Ok that was a pretty interesting information about Luna's Stars and it's also pretty funny how Discord always likes to mess around with other ponies and creatures for his fun game even though thorax didn't like the idea of too much chaos he has to admit it was pretty funny hearing all that and it looks like they're going to go to Canterlot which that makes him a little nervous because the last time it was not a pleasant events but maybe it'll be different and I wonder what Shining Armor is he going to talk about