7. The Ride to Canterlot (Not Invading This Time, I Promise)
Dear Small Pony Book,
I had never been on a train before. Normally when the hive went someplace, we flew in formation to somewhere generally near where we wished to infiltrate, then had scouts slip in and steal ponies away for us to feed upon and imitate. Trains always looked so … slow. And inefficient. They still sort of seem that way when I noticed that there were pegasi among the guards, meaning that Princess Cadence and I weren’t the only ones with wings.
Well, Flurry Heart too, but we could hardly expect our overlady, great though she is, to fly the whole way to Canterlot. And I suppose there might be some guards who might be uncomfortable with the prospect of being carried in one of those flight carriages. I’ve no idea how Shining Armor might feel.
Actually, forget I said anything, Small Pony Book. It’s probably best that we just take the train, efficiency questions notwithstanding.
Still, though. The experience was … odd. I’m not entirely certain how to explain it, really. Have you ever been on a train, Small Pony Book?
It’s rickety. It’s noisy. It’s most uncomfortable with the way it jostles back and forth with each bump—which, incidentally, is the entire track, because that’s how those things move. As Sunburst was happy to inform me, they don’t simply roll forward powered by the engine. Their wheels are sort of pulled into motion by a complicated system of pulleys which are run by the engine.
All of it went right over my head, so I just sort of nodded and opted to busy myself watching things through the window. I remember sitting myself down before the window, within easy reach of my overlady should she wish to jump on my back and play, as she was wont to do after cuddling with her parents long enough.
In the meantime, I busied myself watching things pass by our window in what seemed to be an oddly contradictory lazy approach before it went zipping by me. Trees, stones, lone buildings in the middle of sprawling fields, they all seemed to casually approach before dashing off as if they had someplace better to be. The only things that didn’t feel such a need were the great mountains, though they likely decided long ago that they had no reason to dash anywhere for anyone, because they are Very Big and Important.
Each time, I couldn’t help but watch, wide-eyed and focused, turning my head to track their movements. A couple times, I even attempted to lean out the window—without opening it up.
I make no excuses, save that I forgot myself in the moment. Multiple times.
“You know,” Sunburst began, mirth tinging his tone, “it might be a bit easier if you just come sit down again and watch the scenery as it comes, Thorax.”
A chitter of disagreement arose from the back of my throat. “But I’ve never seen things pass by like this,” I replied. “It moves so slow, but also so fast!”
“That’s because of the theory of relativity.”
“But why’s it theoretical? Relative to me, we’re coming up on that tree right there—and now it’s gone. So now the tree is back where we just were.”
He laughed. I turned to fix him with a quizzical look, and found my friend and fellow Flurry watcher hiding a smile behind a rather slyly subtle adjustment of his glasses. “It looks slower on approach because of your position in relation to the object’s location. Since we move and it doesn’t, it looks like things are creeping forward until they’re almost level with us. Then, when they get level and we go by …” Sunburst gestured toward the window.
I turned just in time to see a large oak tree crawl along the window, then zip right by as he said it would.
“It seems like it’s caught up with our speed,” Sunburst finished with a happy swish of his tail. “See?”
I looked back and forth between him and the window a couple times, then glanced at Princess Cadence for confirmation. She nodded once, waggling her ears. This beautiful pink and purple tinged feathers fluffed with glee.
A glance to Shining Armor yielded much the same, though he did shake his head. I could almost taste the amusement rolling off him in waves—delicious, though not so much as his love for his family and friends. “We can give you a full lesson on it when we get home, Thorax.” He gestured to the empty spot across from him, right beside Sunburst. “Take a seat and relax, buddy. We’ve got another couple hours ahead of us.”
I didn’t want to sleep just yet, though. I doubted I even could, with how bouncy and rickety the ride was. It was hardly conducive to laying down across the seat, not to mention it would probably jiggle a good cocoon loose if I tried to hang it from the ceiling. The floor probably wouldn’t make my hosts happy either.
In hindsight, I don’t think the cleaning ponies would have been happy to find a used cocoon made of changeling slime anywhere in their nice, shiny, rickety-rockety train, so it was probably for the best that I wrinkled my snout and hopped onto the seat as requested.
“Thank you,” he said with a nod. He reclined in his seat, offering a quick nuzzle and playful crooning noise when Flurry waved her tiny hooves in his direction before he glanced at me once more. His smile broadened to show a glimpse of pearl white teeth. “You’ve been a popular topic in our letters with Celestia and Luna.”
“Auntie Celestia and Auntie Luna,” Princess Cadence corrected playfully. “You know they’ll tease you terribly if you don’t call them that.”
“Yes, yes, I know. I’ll be sure to remember when we get there.”
Giggling, she sang, “No you won’t!”
He waved her off. “Point is,” he said to me, much to her amusement, “they’ve been rather interested in how you’re adapting to life with us.”
I swallowed a mouthful of spit. For a moment, I was so shocked that I began to produce slime, ready to incapacitate whatever frightened me.
Then I realized that what frightened me was more of a “who,” and “who” turned out to be the two ponies who lived longer than any and held power the likes of which even Queen Chrysalis knew to respect, and they weren’t even present. I quickly swallowed that too.
The Royal Sisters were … legendary doesn’t begin to describe them, Small Pony Book. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you the respect they command amongst their ponies, but I can confirm that both Princess Celestia and Princess Luna held a high place in the hive—as high as an enemy could hold. If the Queen acknowledged that she would need every bit of the purest love to fuel her magic if she wished to take you on, the hive placed you in the highest order of our enemies, those who defied us or tried valiantly and failed: Most Respected and Feared Enemy.
I happened to be sitting in a train car with two ponies on that list. Well. They would have been added to it after the failed invasion, as would Princess Twilight and her friends.
Sorry, Small Pony Book. Back to the point. The Sisters were—are otherworldly. Their love for the ponies under their protection cannot be overstated in any way. Even at the time of her Falling, Princess Luna meant no harm to her ponies. Rather, she desired they return the love she held for them each time she blanketed Equestria in her night.
With that said, I don’t think bringing that up is particularly wise. Or particularly beneficial to my continued existence. There was, and still, is little doubt in my mind that there was absolutely nothing I wanted to do with the prospect of a one-way trip to the moon.
My part in the invasion and kidnapping of my most gracious host, the benevolent and beautiful embodiment of love sitting across from me and playing peek-a-boo with her daughter, would no doubt have me on what ponies call “thin ice” with the princesses.
A worrisome groan escaped my lips. In a flash of green fire, I changed into Crystal Hoof’s form.
All three adults frowned in near perfect unison. Flurry, on the other hoof, laughed and clapped her tiny hooves, cheering, “Faces! Tora, faces!”
Any other time, I would have been happy to indulge my overlady’s whims.
At that moment, however, I felt more like cocooning myself in the thickest, hardest cocoon with extra gooey slime interior and hiding myself for the next eternity or two. Perhaps three, if I were lucky enough.
Sunburst gave me a gentle nudge. “Relax,” he chided. “Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are nice.”
“Are they?” I asked shakily.
“Very. I’ve met them a couple times.” When I turned to fix him with a curious look, he offered a smile. “Before you came to the Empire.”
“Oh. That explains it.”
Princess Cadence snorted. “Of course they’re nice, you silly bug!” she teased. “Auntie Celestia practically raised me, and she’s like Twilight’s second mother. And Auntie Luna’s been very active helping foals through their problems since her return.”
I shifted back into natural form. My earfins perked up at that. “Oh?” Glancing between little Flurry and her, I tilted my head. “She likes little ones, then?”
“She adores them.” Her eyes seemed to glow and sparkle with delight. “And don’t worry so much. I’m confident they’ll both adore you.” She paused a moment to pass Flurry to Shining Armor, who graciously accepted his daughter and promptly assaulted her with tickles. With a fond smile and shake of her head, Princess Cadence returned her attention to me and said, “We’ve told them that you’re a good friend and subject. There’s no reason to fret.”
Easy for her to say. But I didn’t voice my opinion. Instead, I merely chewed on my bottom lip, mindful of my fangs. Another low groan sounds from the back of my throat, betraying my uncertainty.
But Princess Cadence didn’t give up. “Stretch out and relax, Thorax. Maybe take a nap. We’ll wake you when we’re there.”
Sleep? On that rickety-rockety metal contraption they called a train? Unlikely. I doubted I’d even manage to doze if I really tried.
But my Princess commanded it. Sort of. I decided to count it, because it was easier than the alternative of thinking and deciding for myself—I maintain that ponies are incredibly weird about wanting me to do that, Small Pony Book So with that in mind, I obeyed, laying down and settling my chin upon my holed-legs and closing my eyes. Instinct demanded that I cocoon, but what I’d learned about pony manners told Instinct to shut up because doing so might inconvenience some poor cleaning pony.
I won’t say what Instinct had to say about that. It wasn’t nice. He’s been stuck in an imprisonment pod for timeout—an imaginary one, at least. He didn’t go without noting that I wouldn’t be able to sleep without a proper cocoon, like a true changeling.
The rickety-rockety motion was more soothing than I imagined. It was almost like what I’d seen pony parents do for their foals, something I never experienced in the hive.
Sleep stole me away shortly after I let my eyelids droop closed.
A constant prodding awakened me. I blinked my bleary blue eyes and raised my head, and found a much amused Sunburst standing beside the bench we’d been sharing. “Huh-wha?” I mumbled with a sleepy buzz.
Sunburst laughed and shifted his shoulders to adjust his cape. Why he felt the need to bring it, I never fully understood. I prefer to think it’s required because he’s a Very Smart and Very Important Researcher. “We’ve arrived in Canterlot,” he replied. “Cadence and Shining have already gotten off to say hello to Princess Celestia and Princess Luna.”
My earfins perked up. A cold lump of ice dropped into the pit of my stomach. They got off the train without me? I let out a nervous buzz, licking my dried lips. “They’re … not waiting for me, are they?”
“Uh … kinda. We all are.”
Oh dear. My wings itched to buzz to life and fly away before I was disciplined.
But then, I remembered that I wasn’t in the hive anymore, nor was I under Queen Chrysalis’s hoof. Still. The Royal Sisters of Night and Day were waiting. On me.
That’s not how these things are supposed to work, even among the hive. Rulers were not meant to wait on subjects, subjects were supposed to wait on their rulers.
I all but leapt to my hooves and dashed for the door. I did not scamper, no matter how much snickering and snorting Sunburst may have done as he followed, or how much he insisted I did when he recounted the tale of my waking to a cackling Shining Armor in the evening. Nor did I skitter. Not at all.
Maybe a little, but that’s unimportant. Royals were waiting on me.
As my hooves hit the concrete, I had about a second to take in the sites, the marble buildings and bleach white columns I hadn’t had the chance to appreciate during the invasion. Truly a wonder of equine ingenuity.
Then my gaze was drawn to the two immortals. My mouth dropped, I could feel my heart skip a beat as my nerves gave way to awe.
You don’t have eyes, Small Pony Book, so I’ll do my best to describe their beauty, both inside and out. With no disrespect to Princess Cadence—for she is a magnificent host and a wonderful mare—the Royal Sisters are blessed with otherworldly beauty. Flowing manes of rainbow and twinkling stars, unblemished coats whiter than snow and purest midnight blue, ancient, all-knowing eyes that shone with wisdom and love for their subjects, and of course their marks.
A golden sun with dancing rays, and a crescent moon set within a pool of darkness.
My nerves died in the face of reality. The Royal Sisters were no longer just stories told in awestruck whispers of Swarm Leaders teaching us about the Most Respected and Feared Enemies of the hive.
Princess Celestia and Princess Luna were before me. Both wore warm smiles as they greeted their niece and nephew-in-law. Little Flurry Heart squealed and waved her hooves from her new seat upon the Sun Princess’s back. And Princess Celestia was all too happy to turn and nuzzle the darling filly’s cheek before planting a kiss on her forehead.
Then Princess Luna’s teal eyes flitted to meet my gaze. Her brows disappeared beneath that starry mane. “Sooth!” she said, a playful smile playing upon her lips. “It seems that our sleeping changeling has awaken at last!”
In that instant, I wished to flee back into the train car. My hooves twitched as if to do so, but I found myself transfixed by a pair of deep purple eyes. Deeper than Princess Cadence’s.
I could feel it. Oh, by the First mother, I could feel the love around them, just as I could feel it surrounding Flurry when I was discovered—all the love directed toward them and all they held for those ponies in return.
The latter nearly sent me to my knees. It was so delicious, so … filling. And I wasn’t even drawing it in!
Princess Celestia’s tasted like a thousand things so sweet I could hardly hope to describe the taste. Warm chocolate, sunny days, rainbows, couples finding love and growing old together, and a doting mother watching her babies grow up before her very eyes. Over and over again.
Whereas Princess Luna tasted of ice cream sundaes, cool fall nights spent gazing out over the Badlands with Libulella by my side, young ponies at play, and a good night of indulging my mischievous nature by pulling pranks on the guards.
And still that doesn’t do them justice. Their love is … indescribable.
I thought I knew love, Small Pony Book. Never before had I tasted love like this. So ancient. So pure.
Some of it was directed toward me.
I’m utterly shocked I didn’t start crying tears of joy. I may have been stunned beyond tears.
“Well, well,” Princess Celestia began, her voice as melodious as a choir singing in perfect harmony, “so this is the young Thorax you’ve told us so much about.”
“Yes, Auntie,” Princess Cadence replied, turning to smile at me. “Thorax has been living with us for some time. I think he might be Flurry’s favorite playmate.”
“Ah, yes. His shapeshifting ability has been quite a boon in entertaining her.” She strode toward, smiling serenely as she stopped within hoof’s reach and raised a hoof.
And then offered it to me.
“I’m pleased to meet you at last,” Princess Celestia greeted. “My niece has told me a great deal about you. Welcome to Canterlot.”
I’d like to say that my reply was something dignified. I’d love nothing more than to tell you that I bowed my head just as I would to Queen Chrysalis when I served in the hive and showed respect to my new ruler like a noble changeling would do, Small Pony Book. I would love to say I did a number of things and have just one of them be true.
Above all else, I truly wish I’d done something other than stare back at her and squeak out a single syllable:
“Meep!”
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Don't worry, Thorax. I'm sure you're far from the first to meep at Celestia, nor will you be the last.
Also, I'm not sure if this was mentioned earlier in the story, but who is Libulella?
8148720 She was mentioned early on as a changeling Thorax had a crush on. Also, Cadence hit her so hard her faceplate cracked.
Yay more changeling!
If this and the text which follows are a joke, I have no idea why it's supposed to be funny.
If they're not meant to be a joke, the term you're actually looking for is either "parallax" or "the optics of relative motion". "Relativity" (especially in the context of the phrase "theory of") has effectively nothing to do with relative motion at terrestrial speeds and distances and, from my perspective, getting the two confused so humorlessly wrong that it sounds like the author took "gravity" to mean "how grave-like a hole is".
That aside, another great chapter.
You mention Thorax turning into Crystal Hoof, but almost immediately you refer to changeling body parts like 'earfin' and 'fangs'. If your intent was that he changed back quickly, you didn't say so.
There should definitely be a period after book.
Woohoo, Thorax is back with another entry in his small pony book... please, oh please keep them coming!
Heh. That sense of distaste Thorax held for the train admittedly wasn't the reaction I was expecting from him in regards to it. I was expecting something more along the lines of fear and not understanding just what the train actually was...that seems to be the trend for a lot of unfamiliar objects he's encountered in the past. But oh well, this makes sense in context too.
At least he didn't try to bite it.
Reminds me of something...
You're missing a period at the end of that sentence.
Sights
...I'd argue that bleach is usually colorless and this is technically inaccurate. That's more nitpicking than an actual correction, though.
8148816
Yeah, it feels like an attempt at absurdist comedy, but the delivery falls flat.
This is the second time I've noticed this, but shouldn't that be 'has awakened at last', or 'has awoken at last'?
I dunno, 'awaken' just looks wrong to me here.
One thing I love about this is Thorax's descriptions of the emotions around him. As a creature that feeds on emotion, he likens them to different flavors, and it reminds me somewhat of Remy's descriptions of flavor from Ratatoulle, though he described flavors as if they were musical or visual expressions. It's such an interesting perspective to read, and it works.
*deep breath* That's NOT the theory of relativity. THAT is simple geometry. THE theory of relativity is about the consequences of a constant speed of light, time dilations and that sort of thing. /rant
sights
has awoken
as others have noted…
Missing a period after “Small Pony Book” there.
9119106
And the whole thing was dumbed down by Einstein for those not versed in physics, involving a train traveling at the speed of light and how your perception would be affected...
Oh, he didn't just start drooling and then try to lick her? He's learning!
Above all else, I truly wish I’d done something other than stare back at her and squeak out a single syllable:
“Meep!”
It's OK thorax I don't blame you to be so nervous around with a princess in fact I'll be pretty nervous as well if I met loyalties 😅
So it looks like thorax and the others are on our way to Canterlot to meet with Princess Celestia and Luna to thorax he's a little nervous because the last time it was there it was during the invasion but while they're on the way he was pretty curious about how the landscape is moving very fast again he is adorable with his curiosity when they finally arrived it was nice of them to wait until thorax wake up even though for him he felt like he was being rude so he had to hurry to meet up with the others and what's he did he finally got to meet Princess Celestia and Luna which of course he was really nervous to see them boy I wonder how he will do there 😊