Twilight has Anon boxed in. Due to how she (he?) acted at the hospital no one would believe her if she said Twilight had molested her. and since Twilight is a princess and a hero. She would be more believable than a filly who can't control her own hooves or even eat right. this is quite the hard place.

Anon hopefully you won't get broken in like a fresh boot.

7752950
You stopped reading after you took a look at the title?)
I know that this kind of stuff is not for everyone.

7752975 No it was after the 'my name is Anon' part. It's not a reflection on your part. My complaint is that so many people are using this when clearly they do give 'Anon' character traits but don't want to give him a name.

7752992
The only reason the main character doesn't have a name is because it's a 2nd person story. Anon is an avatar of yours, not your actual "name".

ugh! tag your story with foalcon or non con creep twilight at least in the description! that was a creepy thing honestly and i had no clue till i started reading gag!

7753067
ok. I thought that the "Anon filly" title and sex&dark tags would be enough.
P.S:
It's not actual foalcon, the main character is above 20)

"I need a work," you reply with a bit of annoyance.

You need a editor is what you need. Please consider having a friend look over this, or look around the site for volunteer editors. As it stands, your story is borderline unreadable.

7753082
it would be nice. Do you happen to know where I can find one?

7753118 I'm on mobile, so it's a little harder for me to navigate the site other than just reading stories. Try browsing through the "groups" screens. I want to say there's one with a name along the lines of "new author support group" or something like that. When I get to a desktop I'll see if I can find something. Might be a while though.

A damp hoof touches your rear, sliding down from at the top of your ponut toward the bottom of your filly pussy

"If you look very closely now, you can pinpoint the exact second it turned into a clopfic."

I normally don't read Anon fics,, but....

this one has me hooked

Something's wrong, why does the chapter word count say +7k words but the Total Word counter says over +3k?

Not bad writing not really great story. Sorry not my type.

There are only few stories with human as a foal most of them unfinished for years. This story could have a great potential but the whole raping from the get go really doesn't fit. (it would look better if that happened later and by someone else than an actually good pony.) Still doesn't mean that the whole foalcon's unacceptable, or even romance with Twilight.

While the writing quality is great, I do not like the plot.

You managed to hit most of the things I dislike. Foalcon, the main character have a relationship with Twilight, and Celestia having male genitalia. While the character is 20 years old, his body is still a foal and that still counts as foalcon in my books. Main character X Twilight isn't something I ever liked, nor was Celestia having male genitalia (No offense to people who like these things, just not my preference).

While I am going to put down this Fan Fiction, I hope you have a great time on the journey as a Fan Fiction Writer.

I can't wait to see more of this story again.

7756313 Kids, take notes cause this is how you express your oppinion. Mister i hope people will learn from you.

I enjoy the concept from endless threads based on anonfilly/greenhornet. I wouldn't mind if you continued this. Please grab an editor and continue this.

I find it rather interesting. So I'm quite excited to see where you will go with this.

i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/517/131/ff7.jpg

It's like I'm seeing everything wrong with this fandom, in text format.

7759820
It's just an innocent walk around the city in comparison with what I have in the draft

7759846 this was a really strange and fast paced story but nonetheless I liked it

My advice? An editor. This fic desperately needs one of those.

Anyway, I love the concept, and I'll be keeping an eye on this in the future.

A pedophile Twilight holing our protagonist hostage because he has nowhere else to go, in a world that seems to only tolerate pedophilia among the super powerful. Nefarious. While there are a few too many typos for my liking, the pacing and tone are great. Spike seems to accept whatever Twilight does with a quiet envy, but it'll be interesting to see how her friends react. Will they approve, ask to share, will Rarity and Applejack gently remind Twilight that their own sisters are off limits? So many interesting possibilities.

7849612

He did say there are few orphan fillies, and most are kept by Celesta, so I would guess AB and SB are 'off limits'

I hope you will continue this despite the current like-dislike ratio. It's a rather interesting topic you picture here and I would like to see more of how this world works!

Not to mention how Twilight will slowly break her little filly into her new role and adjust her to her own personal needs!

7899000
yeah, I kinda finished chapter2(Yes, I'm not dead) and now struggling with polishing it.

7899063

That's neat!

Also from Author to Author. This site:

https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors

helps you find an Editor licketysplit! And also a tip about editing work. Google Docs is really helpful not only to provide a way for your Editor to work, but also for you to see his changes for example!

I really like the setting, the whole "either you get raped by me or someone else will rape you, your choice"

on a side note, you wrote:

"unless you obey me,"

don't you mean "disobey"? what you wrote makes it sound like Twi will punish her if she obeys her, which makes very little sense xD

Celestia... She's so greedy, so gluttonous. She never shares any foal with me.

With this, I was able to take Celestia's marecock almost entirely in my ass when I was in your age.

Celestia hordes the nubile kiddie concubines AND the futa magic? The tyranny of it all!

Well, this is a thing that is happening. Strangely enough, I'm alright with it. Usually I avoid rapey stuff like a world in the path of a Tyranid hive fleet, but it comes off as more of reluctant consent than straight non-consensual.

I have one tiny niggling issue: Twilight's cover story for Anonymous. While a shock induced coma can happen, it is usually incredibly rare, and from my understanding, there are usually underlying medical issues that contribute to them slipping into a coma. It just feels incredibly contrived at this point to just go 'because shock' and be done with it. Granted, if you wanted to have Twilight conciece some sort of medical issue to attribute the coma to, you could feasibly have her have a means to effectively limit Anon's freedoms. For example, if Twilight makes Anonymous go to school, she could inform Cheerilee that Anon suffers a circulatory issue of some that limits her ability to distribute enough oxygen through her body, and not to let her get too active, less she 'faint' and slip into a coma. This could be used to keep Anon from running, which might clue others into the sexual abuse if she's running funny.

Another choice is rather than use coma, a quick revision could leave Anon 'suffering' Dissociative Amnesia caused by 'the trauma of losing her parents', which would just as easily reflect some of Anon's memory gaps, and make ponies sceptical of what she says without going too into medicine.

I... kind of... feel sorry for Twilight.

No I mean

She was born into this. It's all she's ever known. Her mentor, probably her parents, her brother? Her friends? How many times was she raped by some jerk stallion in Canterlot? I feel sorry for her because it seems like Twilight's genuinely trying to help "me," but the princess is just so well trained by this twisted version of Equestria, that she thinks she's supposed to say "I'm dying of thirst and the only thing in this castle that can quench it is the nectar from your filly pussy." If that really were true, Twilight wouldn't be able to say that, since she'd be diving in headfirst, so it's like she's repeating what others have told her when she was a filly. It made Twilight feel good to hear that, so it must make "me" feel good to hear that, and any protests "I" make are just like the ones Twilight made as a filly... to be ignored.

This story is actually really sad.

It's sad that this story is dead but I have an urge to write my own continuation.

I think that’s enough internet for today.

8222981
Ah hell yeah, sad gamer hours fellas

Twilight is so out of character and there’s no sex warning ⚠️ in this chapter...
Yike! Is raping filly’s or Colts common in this book 📖 because no wonder why Celestia does not trust her at all.