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He done fucked up. then again, the situation will be crafted around him t allow for his eventual victory, but still, if Bird Hoof makes one mistake, it could cost Zexis and his maker permanantly.
Where the rest of my comment, why did you not put all it in?
7615285
Mostly, because not everything was applicable to the situation and the rest was also said by other commenters, so I shortened it so it better went with the flow.
Don´t worry, I won´t do that everytime. This chapter just had a lot of comments I put into it, so I had to make some cuts here and there.
7615293 but do you like my idea on my comment?
7615313
Hey, I took it in. So that should tell you something.
Generally however, just write what you think is best and if it works for the story I include it. Simple as that.
If you want to be picked more often however, you can always take a page out of the book of the more popular comments. Whatever suits you.
Helpful tip, you might want to go after a low level guard mare. This way you can have her fill you in on what their after. He could use that info to help build his relation ship with the community. He could also figure out which mare were former Whores that he could slowly begin turning to his side. She could also help you take the rest of the guard. That way even if a pony finds out and they run to a guard Zexis will find out about the rat and he or somepony else could take care of it.
Zexis... you done made a goof for the long run. Seriously, if this is to turn out well, then Birdhoof is gonna need to disappear eventually.
7615320 so you do like my transformation idea do you?
7615371
Personally, I am not a big fan of gender change. It will also probably not have many appliances in this story, due to that.
On the other hand I have no problem with breast expansion and/or bimbofication, so not all transformation fetishes are excluded.
7615352
7615348
Also, again for everyone. Suggestions in this chapter will not be counted. For further information read the authors note
7615386 but u like my age up and species changed idea do you?
.....BZZZZZT.......Click!
Well it look like you finally have some time to your self Eros. So before you get your self started on anything too pleasurable my superior require me to ask you some questions. Ok let see here name, age, place of birth yada! yada! yada! ....RIIIIIP....Well these question are boring i'll write in some bullshit later. What I want to know is how did you break in that Luna bitch cause that sounds like it be a great story might also be useful when our puppet breaks her in.
I could properly find the story some where in the archives but hearing such stories from the source is always better than reading what the scribes produce, they always record everything in the same bloody monotonous tone. Speaking of from the source could you hook me up with any first edition books of things like the kamasutra or anything of that nature I would appreciate it. Such items can help me rise up the ranks and the higher rank the more time I can have to study my own interest rather than being told what to do.
Anyway I best get back to work. Cause there is no rest for the wicked and I'm more wicked than most
From the Archives of Enlightenment, Forbidden Division
P.S if you have any questions fell free to ask them I tell you what I can.
Eros, Demon Lord of Lust and Desire... we require quite a bit of information and do not have a lot of time to ask. The first I must ask is of dire importance.
1. What is your relation with Discord? If Zecora sensed your touch so easily, he will know the moment he enters Ponyville. We need any and everything that could either help or dam us.
2. How do changelings work here and what are their powers? If they can feed on lust, we may have another ally soon, and a powerful one at that. If not, we will have to be even more careful. Any hints on finding one would also help so we can go in prepared while they are off balance.
3. What milestones will we need to reach to chose another boon for Zexis? I can see how we can earn one for his actions, but some challenges will take to long to grant benefits, and be to risky.
4. What abilities dose Zebra magic have. We have demonstrated an affinity for plants, but nothing extra ordinary. The limits and potentials would help us plan things further.
I eagerly await the next chapter.
7615386
Question - what will happen when Zexis corrupts Equestria. With Eros take over his body of will Zexis become the new god of lust.
Also suggestion was just a tip. Your choice to use it or not.
The shadow figure forms himself again as he steps towards the viewing screen.
"That... was well handled, Zexis. But, now that you have some spare time, I think it's time to start working on your own skills."
As a chalkboard appears again, he massages his forehead, "Perhaps you can make a potion later or something that can turn Bird Hoof into a slut like what he wants, as a consequence should he displease you again. ... no one would recognize that fatty turned into slim buxom slut, at any rate."
Shaking his head, the shadow figure touches the chalkboard, the chalk moving at his will as he refocuses his attention.
"At any rate, that's a more long term goal creation. For now, start small. You already have a potion book to study, but... that should only be part of your practice."
As he says this, a diagram of Zexis appears, glowing chalk drawing veins going through him.
"As a zebra with a specialty with plants, you have more going for you, though it'll take more prep work than a pony has."
With that, the veins are shown channelling through the air into some plants that appeared.
"You should use that talent to use your magic to alter plants into having new effects, like that Poison Joke you read about, but more... controlled."
With that, the image changes to show him in the house with the flower trio.
"It's not like you have any shortage of flowers to test your powers on, considering where you live. Just ask to borrow some from them to have in your room, stating that you often studied and even experimented with plants, to see what new beautiful works could result... while carefully omitting the true purpose of experimenting on said plants, since you're more concerned with the plants abilities, not their looks. It'd be a good excuse though, at any rate."
'A priority one transmission coming though'
*The mirror emits a crackle, and a blacked out bipedal form appears*
Well, I take a break for merely minutes, and this develops. I need to find an assistant to fill in for me. If I can find one who is either screwed out of their brain, or screwing someone out of their brain. Perhaps a highly restricted AI, based off of my own mind... It would be able to respond to your world in much closer to real time...
Personal troubles aside, I cannot help but be slightly disappointed in you. Of all the potential allies present in Ponyvill, you go for the one who is already under suspicion. Even worse, Bird Hoof had nearly ruined Scootaloo. Converting young minds, and bodies is a delicate process. They cannot associate sex with anything negative. They need to loved, and feel that sex is a friendly thing. As they mature, you slowly incorporate the more ...assertive side of sex.
However, there are some useful aspects of your recruitment. Firstly, and most important, you did not use anything from the book you ..obtained from the restricted section. The fact that nothing has come of that, and the ease of obtaining it is highly suspicious. Why wouldn't there be more protections on the ''dark' tomes of 'evil' magic? At the very least, amuse there is some mass cure for every thing in the book. Possibly deployed though rain... Back to the point, do not rely upon the tome. In fact, I advocate the return of it, as carefully as possible.
This may also present an opportunity to be introduced with Twilight, although, as previously stated, that is quite risky.
Bird Hoof, is a risk. He is already associated throughout town as creepy, and if you are seen as ..friendly with him, your efforts could be set back.. He would be rated as at best, a disposable minion. I recommend finding a way for him to suffer a 'tragic accident'. When that time comes, make sure that it happens out of town, as there is a number of local wannabe heroines, who operate under the shared guise of 'mare-do-well' as well as Miss Dash's own tendencies.
Smooth tongue, huh?
I wonder where else this could be useful... giggity
Eros, I have a few questions for you.
Firstly, do we have the ability to magically aid Zexis as he becomes more powerful. There are quite a few things that would make him more powerful and are varying degrees of subtle and not so very subtle. Things like him getting a horn for more magical capabilities, mutating plants, other blessings for his body like stamina or wings or something someone else comes up with, granting Zexis the ability to speak to us or at least make him aware we are speaking to him and that we see and hear anything he says and does and making others hear our voices too. The last one being very useful for corrupting more ponies.
Secondly, if things get a bit out of control do we have the power to open a portal to a particular part of the immaterium. If the answer is yes then if needed I have a small army of lust filled Slaneshy daemons ready to fuck for all eternity to unleash onto the other side of Equestria. This should give us some extra weeks or even months, depending on whether or not she can outright kill them or when she figures out that the daemons can’t live in the materium without a power source. The power source for these daemons is sex btw, well technically it is excess but sex is the easiest way to get power.
Lastly, why are you so patriarchal. A female can also be a dominant. Excluding one sex, especially when the sex you are excluding is the majority population, will make us a lot weaker then we need to be. Aside from that not all males are dominant or enjoy being dominant.
Also thank you for setting this whole thing up it is rather fun and in the end this will get me a lot of power, if we succeed that is.
7615537
Well, both sides were sensible. It just depended in which direction the story was supposed to go. Reporting to the authorities had its merits, as well as forcing Birdhoof to be your ally. Thats why I flipped a coin.
The only option which was clearly not so "ideal" was the "Kill him!", because, as some of you pointed out, there was no way the ponies would have taken that lightly. I mean, they even spared Tirek. But so many advocated it, so I included it. Which should tell you something: I am not afraid to include dangerous or even detrimental suggestion in the story. Zexis is not perfect and when a slip up happens, he will reap the consequences.
7615516
Maybe. You will see, when they get picked.
7615668
Will keep in mind. For your information, it is still three days until the Guys Night.
Too bad that skill wont work on AJ though it might on Twilight
The mirror crackles again, and the demonic form appears again.
"Ah, Eros, so good to see you. Do be so kind as to explain to the other participants the new skill Zexis has gained. It should prove most enlightening. I have no further questions myself."
And then he turns, as if addressing someone else. "Zexis...I'm almost disappointed. But you've put yourself in a prime position. First and foremost is to gain Scootaloo's trust further. Encourage her to embrace her inner slut-dom and we shall see what becomes of it. It would probably have a greater effect if two objectives are met. First, make sure Bird Hoof does not touch. And Second, see about corrupting the other naive children. A nation's mental health starts with the youth after all, haha."
"As for Bird Hoof. I would reccomend being careful. You've just spilt your plans for the town, and soon the world, to the creepiest stallion in town. Reconditioning his mind would be ideal. Perhaps a special concoction to turn him into something more suitable? An ally is invaluable, but an incompetent one will get you killed, my little friend."
"Finally, it's time to get some fuckmeat yourself. Continue conditioning the flower sisters regularly. Daisy looks like she doesn't require much more convincing before she'll willingly impale herself on you. But above all, continue to be careful. Have a plan to cut the filth loose if he shows the slightest sign of incompetence or betrayal. Send him to meet me. We'll have an...enlightening discussion. HAAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!"
And with that, the image vanishes.
While making Bird Hoof an ally may have the largest long term benefits, I advise caution when dealing with him. You could potentially use Scootaloo to bring the other 2 members of the CMC under your tender care. While the orphanage should serve your needs well, I'd recommend inspecting it and making any necessary modifications to it before using it On that note, once it's ready, I'd recommend using it as a place to test new recipes you gain from the book, either using the Flower Trio, or possibly Redheart.
*A man in a full face mask speaks in a low mechanical voice*
Impressive work so far, Mr. Zexis. Slow, methodical, it would seem your being pushed in the right direction. while not all of your choices have been...wise in my eyes, I do feel you're on a good path thus far. And by good, I mean very, very bad.
I do have a few pieces of advice as to what you might do next.
Firstly, form a relationship with Nurse Redheart. As in, a public, romantic relationship. Simply put, this will allow you to win her trust, and the trust of Ponyville a lot more. Everyone trusts a nurses judgement, correct? In addition, No one would question you if you hung around a hospital. Not to mention the access your get to the medicine cabinet, and the medical know how you could learn to trick ponies.
Secondly, most others have mentioned getting on Discords good side. I'd advise this by promising him to lay off of Fluttershy completely. Promise him if he lets you go about without restraint, you won't try to go after her in any way, shape or form. That should get on his good side.
Thirdly, try to find a spell book on disguising karma, or aura, as it were. Zecora is a threat with her knowledge already. But you can't risk someone else having similar detection skills. So being able to mask you're karma/aura/mojo/whatever she sensed will be very useful.
That's all for now, do take care and be careful. *disconnect*
7615386
Whooeee that was interesting. Not sure I did it right (or am replying to you right.), but I hope I did. Anyway, this is a pretty interesting concept. I didn't jump on earlier cause commenting on stories like this is a little scary to me. But ultimately curiosity won out. I'll be watching this one from now on. Anyway, hope you're having a good day on your end.
7617461
well you did it mostly right, except for one minor thing.
For this chapter any suggestion written under it will currently not be counted because the next chapter will be a Q&A Session with Eros. So any advice for Zexis must wait until this is over. One can however post questions for Eros, how his war against Equestria went, for example. Something that was stated in the authors note under the current chapter.
But other than that, keep it up. I am always happy for newcomers.
7616636 Flipped a coin? I hope next time you at least do a poll. And based on your comment I want to fill in some gaps. I did not want to "go to" the authorities and do something like trigger an investigation, my suggestion was go in there, beat him up then take him to the police and force him to confess. I think that's what most of the people on that side of the issue were for, and I'm not sure that's the message you got based on the way you explained your choice
(an Sliver furred busty anthro Catgirl with red eyes and wearing a sexy yellow and blue outfit)
"Hmmmm. I like you Zexis."
"Ok Once you get all three of the CMC move to helping out around the school. That way you gained the school teacher, Miss Cheerilee's, favour and can add her with the nurse and flower trio on using your potion testing. Maybe even test a potion that will make them more voluptuously busty. But be careful with that potion by having them take one or two tea spoons of it a day. Don't want the town ponies to notice the five mare's new size assets too soon. Anyway once you have the teacher slowly have her teach the fillys and colts somethings from your homeland. After that should start to try to gain the CMC's older sisters, Step sister in Scootaloo's case, trust. Like go out pranking with Rainbow Dash, Help Applejack on the farm, maybe get Big Mac as an allie, and try on some clothes for Rarity at Carousel Boutique. But you may want to focus on Rainbow Dash and Rarity since so far you only tested your potions on earth pony mares and haven't tested it on a pegasus or unicorn mare yet. But if go for Applejack first then you need to watch what you say around her. She is the Element of Honestly and tell if you are telling a lie. So when you use the potion on her make her think that whatever you say is the truth. But be sure to have her brother Big Mac on your side first before using the potion on your soon to be farm slut."
"Well that's all the advise I am going to give you for now hot stuff. So now if you excuse me I will be at a con selling stuff . So bye. Jade out."
(The Catgirl disappeared.)
7617583
What sense would a poll make? There was already a clear split between the two choices in comments, so I didn´t feel the need for that. And it would have also taken extra time and effort and interrupted my writing schedule, which I wanted to avoid. As you can see, I want to churn out these chapters at least on a weekly basis, so a poll would have just caused more problem than it was worth.
And in the end, it wouldn´t have mattered, because one side of this argument was bound to lose aka "not picked". So there would always be some dissatisfaction.
All in all, its not a dealbreaker. Just say to yourself "Better luck next time" and try again.
PS: Also, even if you had forced him to confess to the police, there would still be an investigation. Interrogation of Birdhoof, Scootaloo and so forth. Pedophiles get a lot of attention in society, when they are caught, so it was also bound to get public. Thats how it would be in real life and I would have let it play it out like that as well. Now, this doesn´t mean making Birdhoof your "ally" is the better option. Just that both choices have their pros and cons and that from my point of view (which is important, because I write this whole thing) both are equally viable. Thats why the coin toss. Everybody has a fair chance this way.
7617759 you do hav non-commenting readers, you know
7617474
Ahh, so should I keep this post here or wait till the next chapter and repost it?
7617843
But I can only take the commenting readers into consideration, thats how interactive fiction works. If you don´t interact, I cannot know, what you want. And the same goes for the poll, which I had done before and will continue to do, when the situation is right.
In the end, I decide what comments get picked. Because I write the story. I put many hours of my life into this thing, so that people may enjoy it. I also have been very clear on that from the very beginning. If you want to participate: Comment to the story, play by the rules and get my attention. Then you will be included, like the last chapter.
7617865
Better repost it. I want to keep the sections clean, to reduce my workload. There are already people who still don´t read the authors notes and comment anyway and it always pains me, to ignore those guys. But I have to do that, because otherwise it gets too chaotic.
Sorry about that.
Hail, Eros.
I hope you've fared well, down there in your little hole. The other Three send their regards; especially War has expressed interest in your past. Would you care to tell us a little about your war with Equestria?
Injustice and I have both been interested in the reason for your male-domination ways. Don't get us wrong, we enjoy it very much! I'm always interested in witnessing a dominant male conquering the minds and bodies of the mares. And Injustice loves to put on a leash and shlick to what you're doing. Do her a favour and explain to the little slut why you put your path into motion, will you?
And like I asked last time: Is it possible for our tool to call upon your power? Can he give blessings in your name, even if he has no idea you're even real? Will your influence grow with Equestria's increasing corruption?
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No prob, I understand.
/shouting at something behind him
Alright, alright! I'll ask him! Cold Stars, how pushy she can get. Ahem: Eros, Injustice wants to know how you...
/sigh
... how you stand on the issue of spanking your mares. Including 'on the snatch'. Her words, not mine. She especially likes the idea of Zexis using his plant powers to grow a magical spanking rod.
7617611
Quick note: Suggestions for Zexis aren't going to be considered this chapter. You'll need to write them again next time. Which you definitely should, since they're very nice.
7619413 Ok where to I write them?
"While having that pig Bird Foot as a ally is good for time being. But you should also have a plan for him to have a 'accident' if he cause you trouble or he is no longer useful to you."
7619436
Probably just wait until the next chapter is out and copy it there. Like the author's notes said, next chapter is only going to feature Eros and questions directed at him. After that, it should go right back to Zexis.
7619450 ok
*a whirlwind of ash descends from the sky, forming into a skeletal ashling who regards Eros carefully through his mirror* "I've been silently watching up till now. Things are progressing well enough, but they could certainly be going better. Our little meat puppet seems a bit headstrong and prone to rash decisions when pressured. I do have a few questions though. Obviously, we seem to be able to influence his thoughts and actions to some degree. The question is, just how far are we able to intervene? The prospect of having no damage-control seems a huge wrench in our endgame."
*The ashling taps his jaw thoughtfully, the glowing coals of his eyes glinting*
"Another thing, my leige: our toy seems to be learning at an unprecedented rate how to effectively use speechcraft, but there undoubtedly some meatbags that will require more...physical...lessons to become the wanton sluts we all know they need to be. How soon can we see the opportunity to choose some physical traits to augment that process? I hope to have my questions answered, Lord Eros, though I understand if I must be passed over."
*the ashling clicks its jaw before disintegrating and blowing away on the wind*
La verdadera corrupción no es forzada, debe de tomarse voluntariamente, talvez con un poco de ayuda