1 - Prologue
Twilight Sparkle gazed up at the stars twinkling gently in the sky. She spotted the various constellations she had studied throughout her life and could even make out the orientation of their galaxy based off the concentration of stars across one particular part of the expansive sky. Luna’s moon shined down onto her, and it lit up the surrounding landscape in its soft glow.
Where once she had spent hours as a filly doing this by herself, that was no longer the case for the young alicorn.
“Oh oh oh! That one looks like a balloon!” Pinkie squeed, laying in the grass one side of Twilight.
“And there is a filly holding the balloon,” Fluttershy also noted, on Twilight’s other side.
These three, along with Applejack, Rainbow Dash and Rarity were formed in a circle, laying in the grass looking up into the sky.
“You’re right Fluttershy! You have really good eyes!” Pinkie complimented, causing the timid Pegasus to blush.
“The joyful filly, that one is called,” Twilight said. Spotted first about three hundred years ago by-“
“Egghead,” Rainbow said amidst a painfully fake cough.
Twilight simply sighed and rolled her eyes.
“Never mind her, Twilight darling,” Rarity said. “This outing was just a marvellous suggestion of yours, and the ideas I’m getting for my next line! Magnificent!”
“Well, I’m glad at least some of you appreciate it.”
“Jus’ Rainbow who don’t,” Applejack said.
“I never said that!” Rainbow protested with a pout.
Applejack chuckled. “Jus’ teasing you sugarcube. But wow, these here stars make me feel as small as an ant in a forest of apple trees.”
“I can get why you feel like that,” Twilight responded.
“Really?” Pinkie questioned. “All they make me feel like is a cameo in the prologue of a science-fiction story.”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. “I’m not even going to pretend to understand that comment.”
“Okie dokie loki!”
“Do you think they are friendly?” Fluttershy asked.
“Hmm?” Twilight glanced towards the Pegasus.
“Other ponies. Or rather, anything out there,” she pointed towards the sky.
Twilight looked up towards the vastness of space, smiling. “If I have learnt anything about the magic of friendship, it is that it is universal. I will not deny space is dangerous. But the possibilities… the sheer amount of stars and-"
Snoring echoed throughout the hill on which the six were located near Ponyville.
“What is that?” Twilight asked.
“Ah think Dash fell asleep,” Applejack responded.
Twilight rolled her eyes… again.
“Typical.”
Twilight stayed looking up at the stars a while longer, drowning out Rainbow’s snoring and just enjoying the company of all her friends.
“Twilight?” A voice echoed.
Hearing the voice, Twilight took one last look at her friends before looking up at the stars once more.
She then closed her eyes.
When she opened them again, her vision was once again filled with the stars which she loved to observe so much. Only now there were two very crucial differences.
Firstly, her friends were nowhere to be found.
And secondly, she was viewing the stars through a thick pane of reinforced glass.
“Twilight?” Princess Celestia addressed again, coming to a stop next to her fellow princess.
Twilight glanced towards Celestia, who looked as pristine as she always had.
Twilight, however, had changed. She stood eye-to-eye with the Sun Princess, on her body she wore silver and lavender regalia and a crown on her head along with a wondrous ethereal mane blowing in the non-existent breeze aboard the station on which they stood.
She was a little two thousand years old. And Equestria had changed with her.
Their magic and technology had grown too. Along with their understanding of the universe as a whole. The advent of the thaumatic drive had allowed space stations to be constructed in orbit and starships to be built. The ships initially moved throughout the solar system away from Equus. Luna had led the colonisation of her moon, the planet Mares had been magically terraformed and cities built on its surface. While the world’s governments and nations were still separate, peace reigned as the prospect of further travel across the stars trumped everything else, with Equestria at the forefront.
The alliance had allowed quick progress to be made. And even nearby star systems had begun to be colonised thanks to sleeper ships.
The thaumatic drive itself was a feat made possible by one of Twilight’s former students. It was largely magic in nature, though technology was added into the mix and contained the power the engines contained, allowing it to run smoothly.
Twilight wasn’t shy to admit she had always been a bit envious of her student’s discovering of the drive. However, Twilight was glad to say she had now made her own contribution.
“Celestia,” Twilight greeted. “You are well?”
Celestia smiled. “I am. How about you, nervous?”
“Oh yes,” Twilight grinned.
Celestia chuckled lightly, examining the stars with her former student. “How are things here?” Celestia motioned a hoof across the starbase on which they sat, the first starbase to be constructed and one of two in Equus’s orbit; another was under construction above Mares.
“Well. Eleven of our ships are in service, the other two are currently in for maintenance.”
“Thirteen ships, soon to be fourteen. We have certainly come a long way since I took the throne all those centuries ago,” Celestia commented, some pride showing in her eyes.
“Well…” Twilight twirled a hoof. “It’s lucky you had such an amazing student who herself trained equally amazing students.”
Celestia mirthfully swished her tail at Twilight. “Oh hush you.”
Twilight laughed, before turning to Celestia. “I think it’s time, don’t you?”
“Hmm,” Celestia hummed in contemplation. “I wonder what the launch will mean in the long run.”
“It means our current fleet will be obsolete,” Twilight responded.
“True,” the Sun Princess conceded.
The two walked away from the window and down a long stretch of corridor, passing ponies going by doing their duties. Only those without a job to do bowed as the royals passed by.
As they got further within the station, Twilight finally spoke again.
“You could come with us you know. I know you want to.”
“I will admit it is tempting,” Celestia said. “But this is your time, my faithful student.”
Twilight glanced over at Celestia. “You haven’t called me that in a very long time.”
“I know. But… it feels like it does it not? Like when you were a filly having completed some project I had set? Or when you learnt a new spell and couldn’t wait to show it off?”
Twilight smiled. “You’re right, it feels exactly like that. I suppose the filly in me never truly went away.”
“And for that, I am truly glad,” Celestia gave her daughter figure a small nuzzle as they came to a stop outside a door with two guards outside.
Twilight looked up upon the door, and then to the control panel.
“OK. Let’s do this,” she said as she activated the doorway.
The two doors slid open, revealing a large observation platform. On the platform was a variety of ponies and other races, all leader of their nations. The emperor of the Griffon Empire was there, the chancellor of Zebrica and a great many others. The two they approached, however, were none other than Princesses Cadance and Luna.
“Sister, Twilight,” Luna turned to greet the two.
“Luna,” Twilight greeted back. “What do you think?”
“She’s amazing,” Cadance said. “I look forward to seeing her in action.”
“You and me both,” Twilight sat down by the glass window.
Celestia approached the window too, but she had yet to look out of it. “I have seen the blueprints, but not the ship. It’s time to change that.”
Celestia took her place next to the other three Princesses of Equestria, viewing the large structure outside within the dock.
It had a large saucer at the very front which had three large spheres embedded within on both the left-hoof and right-hoof sides, the life support systems and habitation modules. On the very centre top of the saucer, a dome was present. A dome containing the bridge among other command-based rooms. At the very back of the saucer on the top and bottom were two respective stubby pylons which on each sat one large engine, both currently powered down. Lights decorated the vast ship, some came from the windows of the ship as the new crew could be spotted within, and others on top of the hull lighting up the ship's name written out just a little in front of the bridge.
Twilight looked upon her creation with glee. “Princess Celestia, may I introduce our first faster-than-light capable starship. The E.S. Harmony.”
Tom117z Presents...
Harmony Among The Stars
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"project I ahd set?"
had?
7430816 Fixed, along with others I spotted I had missed the first time.
The description makes me think of System Shock 2, was that perhaps inspiration for this story?
I ask as the concept sounds very similar to that games plot for the most part.
Missed a quotemark
A nice start. Could benefit from having an editor look it over for the little mistakes and typo demons here and there, but that is just a minor issue.
I am very much looking forward to seeing what you do with this.
i'll bite
About time someone used that image as the basis of a fic (I just wish that the other elements were still alive)
Looks way interesting. Kinda sad that that first part was all a hologram though. Well done.
But look for a proofreader/editor to help fight off those few grammar errors, but well written otherwise.
Come on, Pinkie. It's really expensive rebuilding that 4th Wall.
7430853 IKR? May heart jumped when I realized it was a hologram.
7430901 I normally have an editor, but he is working on the intermission for Act 2 of Change right now (another story of mine, and my best), though after he is done I will get him involved.
well, nice start to a story.
even if it had a sad undertone.....
looking forward to more.
not the sad part, but more chapters
Interesting...
Where did you find the picture, and does the artist do requests?
mmmm... i love me a good first contact fic! and with spaceships and warp drives, oh my!
That's a bit too specific to the Star Trek lexicon to use willy-nilly. (ie. It carries connotations you don't seem to want.)
Might I suggest terms they'd actually probably come up with, like "reactionless drive" (the generic class into which impulse fits) or "thaumic drive" (literally "drive of magic")?
...or you could get really fancy and use something like "the thaumic impeller" (roughly translates to "magic drive forward-er"). Even if it is technological, it wouldn't surprise me if it was arrived at from the magic side of the sciences. After all, in a setting like MLP, the disciplines of magic and physics would blur together as they got advanced.
Typo. "The ships initially moved"
Whoa, whoa, whoa! You can't just assume Equestria is on Earth or also uses Mars for the name of another planet without some setup. That's unacceptably sloppy writing.
Typo. “How are things here?”
Common typo. The trailing apostrophe is always plural posessive. As written, that's "The orbit of the Equu" as if "Equu" is a plural word. (Perhaps the word for a group of "Equ"? :P )
What you really wanted was "Equus's". (Hint: You would speak it the same as "Equuses", so double the S.)
The "hoof" is unnecessary and just makes it take more effort to parse the sentence. However, if you really want to write an equivalent to "left-hand" and "right-hand" rather than "left" and "right", write "left- and right-hoof sides".
(The hyphens cue the reader's brain that left/right and hoof are part of a single compound adjective, so they don't have to read the sentence once for structure and then again for meaning once coming to the end of the sentence the first time has ruled out the incorrect interpretations like "left and right hoof decals" or "left and right hoof-shaped windows" or what have you.)
Again, what are the odds they'd independently come up with the phrase "warp capable" without first meeting the Federation? Now, given that "warp capable" is a more directly descriptive term than "impulse drive", you could get away with it if you provided some setup to justify them settling on that term, based on how it works.
However, I'd just suggest something that requires no justification if you want to keep your story structure the same. For example: "Princess Celestia, may I introduce our first faster-than-light starship. The E.S. Harmony.”
Not good enough. You want your story to flow smoothly and build an impression in the reader's head, so you have to justify them calling it Mars before it comes up or, otherwise, you derail the reader and the immersion breaks down.
You could make Mars more pony by calling it Mares, but then "mares are from Venus, stallions are from Mares" becomes kind of confusing.
Hm, the premise is good and the description has piqued my interest - Twilight makes for a natural choice as Equestria's first interstellar expedition leader, and the mystery of the promised SOS signal (Will it be humans? If yes, present day or also far into the future? Maybe some completely alien species entirely?) has me wishing for more, so well done on the hook and the setup.
However, I'd advise coming up with a few names, labels and visuals that aren't quite so visibly Star Trek derived. It was mentioned their drives are largely magic based, so it could probably stand to be called "Thaumatic drive" or something similar - it might be fusion of magic and technology, but naming and terminology for Ponies probably wouldn't match that of Star Trek - where things like Impulse Drive and Warp Drive actually mean some very specific things, they aren't even general Sci-Fi catch-all phrases. It's somewhat immersion breaking, I'm afraid.
And Mars - unfortunately this name is what threw me for a loop and actually did break immersion. Even if the ponies did find themselves in a solar system identical that to our own, their naming conventions would surely be different. To begin with, Mars, the planet, is named after the Roman god of war. They have Hearth's Warming, not Christmas. Having the planet be named Mars is akin to introducing a pony from their history names Jesus. It doesn't really work as anything but satire
The premise is good and the plot promising, but I'd urge you to consider switching the names up a bit in the name of increased immersion.
7431735
This isn't a crossover, just inspired by one particular scene in Star Trek Enterprise. When the time comes you will see what exact scene that is. There is no federation or humans in their world, they have the mirror portal for that!
Thanks for pointing our typo's, I've fixed them. I also renamed Mars 'Mares'. Yay for pony puns!
I also took your advice and renamed the impulse drive thaumatic drive and warp drive faster-than-light (FTL) drive.
7432380 The names for mars and both engine drives have been changed. I did use both thaumatic drive and Mares (come on, you gotta love pony puns
)
Good by fourth wall!
I would have preferred a ship that looked like the uss enterprise, but then again that wasn't the first FTL ship in startreck so I guess this is cool. BTW I find this a bit ironic because I have actually drawn modals of crude warp drives.
Personally, I'm one of those people that think that when Twilight and her friends opened the chest, they all became immortal.
7458482
I personally think that after they used elements of harmony they stoped aging. It changed their bodies. Normal body wouldn't be able to withstand such enormous energies. They have alicorn level bodies and have potential to change into an alicorn.
And the adventure begins... All ships, engage Warp drives. We're heading out...
You get a thumbs up for that line alone!
Very nice intro, good work.
Can we get a pic of the ship in question?
Meh, description gives more of an 'NX class' feel than a 'Kelvin class' feel.
Any chance of pictures of the ship?
Eh.
I feel like if my chest is going to explode from anticipation!
When it says “on the top and bottom were two stubby pylons” does it mean two on the bottom and tw9 on the top? Or one on the bottom and one on the top?
8618407
It has two nacelles.
I always was a bigger fan of the Stargate style ships rather than start trek. I mean everything’s a circle in that universe. At least target has realistic designs
I think you need to reword this.
That's right! You Don't! You don't understand this comment! MUAHAHAH
i have a idei for the uniforms for this story.
white for command.
grey for science and communications.
yellow for engineering and helim.
light green for medical.
dark green for security.
and red for trainees.
and have them where red jackets.
and for the ranks...from star trek 2270's https://memory-beta.fandom.com/wiki/Federation_Starfleet_ranks_(2270s-2350s)
Hah, I may have read these two stories in the wrong order, oops
about the original star trek.
without unique situations showed in colorful moving pictures, star trek is just a bland scifi. a relic from pre-starwars scifi era.
and this thing is basically written with star trek plot.
the absent of eccentric mane6 didn't help either.