I felt terrible. For one I had a massive headache, like the ones you get after trying to solve a particuarly hard riddle and your brain feels like it's ripping itself apart trying to understand the damn thing. I sat up and held my head in my hands, raising another two issues. First is that sitting up felt a LOT different than normal. While it didn't hurt, I was worried about how different it felt. Secondly, my hands felt oddly numb. I couldn't feel my fingers, and what I could feel felt really odd. The small part of me that wasn't taken up by the headache and fear of opening my eyes to see my body messed up quietly wondered if this all counted as a freak trampoline accident, and if it did it would at least make an interesting story later in life. "Well at least I didn't die of head trauma..." I told myself softly.
It took a few moments due to my headache, but I suddenly noticed a detail that was hard to ignore. What the...that's not my voice! I opened my eyes in shock, and got a few answers to why I felt the way I did. For one, I wasn't holding my head with hands...but rather hooves or some stumpy appendages. Panicking now, but keeping quiet I examined the rest of my body. The first thing I noticed was that I was very....purple. Now don't get me wrong, I like the color purple, but it's unnerving when you wake up covered in purple fur. I was also naked from the waist up, the only thing covering me was the blanket of the bed I was in. Taking off the blanket I looked at my lower half, confirming two of my fears. From the look of it, and from what was probably a muzzle in front of my face, my weird arm hooves, and my lower body structure, I was now a purple horse. Not only that, but from my voice and the lack of a certain part down there, I was a girl now.
"So...after I have an accident with the trampoline I wake up as a female purple talking horse...isn't medical science wonderful?" I say sarcastically to myself. I look around to try to figure out where I ended up. The hospital bed and mint green curtain to my left and in front of me made me think I had woken up in a hospital, but looking up and to my right I could see a stone wall and roof, like a castle. "If I didn't know any better, I'd say I was in the Hogwarts infirmary wing."
I had a habit of talking to myself, mainly because when I got left home alone as a kid, I distracted myself with my voice so I couldn't hear the sounds of would be burglars breaking in to attack me whenever a door opened and closed in the apartment complex. It stuck with me, and hopefully it would help me get used to my new voice.
Wherever I was, I decided that it was probably a good idea to find my way around. I'd feel a lot better to find another living soul, and the natural sunlight shining in the room didn't make me think I was in some weird mad scientist lab or something. So, I clumsily swung my legs, or hindlegs I guess, over the side of the bed before using my new forelegs to push myself off the bed and into a standing position. After doing this I learned two things. One was that despite my new body, my forelegs are just as flexible and mobile as my old arms, which was nice to know. The other thing, however, was that no matter how flexible I may be in this body, I can't stand like I used to. So, with these new facts in mind, I fell forward with the grace and finesse of a drunkard.
"WHAAAAH!" CRASH! I had fallen into the medical curtains that were set up around my corner and brought the assembly down with me. Thankfully I was okay, though I had a feeling that the hard floor may give me a bruise, but I had made a HUGE amount of noise and got one of the curtains over me. "Well shit." I said to myself. After a few moments I heard a clopping sound on the floor as something walked closer. I carefully sat up and was able to remove the curtain from over my head after batting at it with my hooves a couple of times. I missed my fingers.
When the obstruction was removed I saw a horse nearby. From what I could see of myself, I probably looked similar, but with different colors. The horse had cream colored fur and a neatly brushed orange mane, possibly in a bun. I couldn't tell with her white medical hat in the way. She stared at me in surprise for a moment before rushing over, her ears flat to the side as she looked at me with worry in her eyes. "Are you okay miss?" She asked. Now, it took me a few seconds to reply because a horse just talked to me. Sure, I was a horse now too, but I was kinda trying to hope that I was hallucinating or something. I could still be, but it felt more real when I saw someone else as a horse.
"Y-yeah...c-could I get a m-mirror please?" I got out nervously.
~Canterlot Castle dining room~
Princess Luna was eating a small, early lunch. While day court was closed today, Tia had asked her to watch over the castle while she was in Ponyville. She would be talking to Twilight Sparkle and her friends about the new alicorn's corination ceremony. Luna happily agreed, and despite getting less sleep than she would have liked due to having to wake up a few hours before noon so that her sister could prepare, Luna was wide awake. Earlier in the morning she had checked in on Twilight's clone and felt her mind forming at a steady pace. She predicted that the clone would wake up sometime that day, and now she was anxiously awaiting word on her consciousness.
As much as she worried about the possibilities of what could happen, she was filled with joy at the thought of having this Twilight as a close personal student. Tia often talked about how close they were, even though the original Twilight was much too nervous when it came to keeping her teacher proud, and Luna had been thinking of starting her own school for a while now. If this new Twilight was a blank slate like she and her sister hoped, then Luna could teach her and grow close with her own student. The thought kept her smiling and energetic. Just as she was wondering about what she would teach her student to be, a guard came up to her. "Princess Luna, your presence is requested in the medical wing."
The Lunar Princess fought hard to control her excitement. "Very well then. I shall leave right away. Please let the cleaning staff know that I am finished with my meal." The guard nodded and walked away. Luna got up and walked towards the medical wing as fast as she could without breaking her royal bearing. The walk seemed to take forever, but she finally arrived. As she walked into the large room the lead doctor, A unicorn named Doctor Heart, trotted up to her. "Hello your highness, I hope you are doing well." He said.
"I am well doctor, but I came here for the special patient. Has she woken up?" Luna asked. "Yes, Princess." The doctor replied. "Though she seems to be having a few issues."
"Issues, Doctor? What is wrong with her?"
"Quite a few things," he started. "Nothing serious physically," Doctor Heart added after seeing the look on Luna's face. "While we will have to do a few tests later to gain a more detailed report, she seems to be perfectly fine other than a lack of balance when walking, and that can be remedied by practice, I believe. From what you and Princess Celestia have told me about her, her body is newly made. That may mean that her mind has no muscle memory to rely on when she walks, or some other reason. Our tests later may shine light on the exact reason.
What is worrisome is her mental status. She speaks Equestrian without an issue, so I can safely assume that some knowledge was implanted in her. However, the depth of her knowledge is unknown. When her nurse found her trying to get out of bed, the first thing she asked for was a mirror. Her comments and questions make me believe that she was unsure of what she was or who she is. Her reaction to her reflection supports my belief that she will need to learn the very basics of how the world works. I was hoping to talk to her later and assess what she knows."
Luna frowned in response. "My sister and I had hoped that Twilight Sparkle's memories would be copied as little as possible, but this is truly the bare minimum! I shall assess her myself later, good doctor, as I will be teaching her. Perhaps her knowledge is simply locked away and needs help to be let out."
"I hope so, Princess. While I was told that she seemed to panic at first, she calmed down after examining her reflection. She is in a delicate position. When you do talk with her, I suggest that you make sure she learns about the very basics first, so that she has more knowledge to stabilize her worldview. Starting with a solid foundation will surely keep her calm and help her adjust to everything."
Luna thought for a moment. "Doctor, are there any other patients in this wing?"
"No, your highness. Why do you ask?"
"I would like to spend some time alone with her and get to know her myself. I believe I can help her grow more comfortable with her situation."
Doctor Heart nodded. "Very well your highness, I shall have my staff stay out of the room. I only request that you are careful, your highness. Your physical stature will probably intimidate her, as you are much taller than anypony she's seen, so you should be mindful of that. "
"All the more reason to ensure that I am the only one there, Doctor." Luna replied and waited for the medical ponies to exit the room. When the last left, the Princess began to approach the "room" that contained the unicorn at the end of the rows of medical curtains.
~Not long ago, Canterlot Medical Wing~
When I asked the nurse for the mirror, I assumed she was a nurse anyways, she called out and two identical...stallions wearing shiny gold armor over white coats came over. She repeated my request to them before looking me over. She asked a few questions that boiled down to "does anywhere hurt", at which point I assured her that I was okay, and simply needed help keeping my balance. She looked like she didn't believe me, but she kept her thoughts quiet as she helped me up.
It wasn't long before the armored horses came back with a large but simple mirror for me. The stallions, who I suspected were guards or soldiers, started putting the curtains back up at the nurse's request as the nurse helped me over to the mirror. When I tried to walk I ended up losing my balance and would have fallen without the nurse's help. I tried to imagine walking as a horse like crawling on all fours as a human, but the anatomy of my new body made it difficult for my brain to translate commands properly and I ended up unable the move the way I wanted to. "Are you sure that you are okay, miss?" The nurse horse asked.
"Y-yes, ma'am. I'm fine. I just c-can't seem to keep m-my balance." I said, unable to keep the quiver out of my voice. This was too much to take in at once. I planned to get some answers soon, but I was too nervous to ask any questions at that moment. I needed to see my reflection, see what I looked like.
The nurse's concerned expression only grew more so, but she said nothing else as I kept trying to move forward. With the help of the guards I was able to make my way towards the mirror. It was only a few feet to the reflective surface, but it felt like it took forever to like get there. Dreading what I would see, I averted my gaze until I was right in front of it. Plopping down on my horse butt I finally took a look. While I was upset with how my reflection looked, I was stunned. So much so that I even said my first thought aloud. "Why am I so purple?" I asked aloud without realizing and missed the confused looks the other horses gave me. Who can blame me though? Not only my coat was purple, but as well as my eyes, hair, and horn.
Wait, horn? I looked at my forehead and examined the swirled horn protruding from my bangs. So I wasn't just any purple talking horse, I was a purple talking unicorn. I looked like I came from a little girl's imagination. With a quick glance around I noticed that one of the guards was also a unicorn. I was also distracted by how quickly they had fixed the curtains. You'd think hooves would make it difficult. I shook my head slightly and ignored it. Looking back to the mirror I tried to get a more general look instead of focusing on colors, the confusing butt tattoo I saw a glimpse of, or the fact that I'm a freaking talking unicorn girl. I looked at my ears, and my face. My ears had been moving with my emotions, and while that felt weird it let me know how expressive I am now, and my face showed my terribly hidden fear at what's going on. It was like a weird dream at first, but when I fell that hurt, and you can't feel pain in dreams.
After a while of staring at my reflection, in an effort to both understand what I am as well as calm down, the nurse spoke up. She must have felt the need to break the awkward silence from me staring at myself. "Are you okay miss? Do you need to lay down?" She started to gently rub my back with a surprisingly soft hoof, which actually helped me calm down a lot. "You seem to be distressed." I took a deep breath. Like anything in life, worrying about too much at once will freeze you. You have to focus on one thing at a time. Pushing my confusion at everything out of the way for now, I spoke.
"No ma'am, I'm okay. I just need to know a few things..." I said shakily, but without any stutters this time as I turned toward her.
"I'll answer if I can, miss, but are you sure you are fine?" She asked with concern.
I nodded back to her. "First...what am I? Where am I? In fact...WHO am I?" I saw her eyes widen after that. "Please, I need to know."
"I suppose that if you ask all that, you must be really out of sorts." The nurse said, looking sad. Probably because I told her I knew nothing basically. I knew I was a unicorn, but I had to make sure I'd find out what they would call me. I contemplated going complete amnesia. I already knew so little about where I was, why not just pretend that I have no memories either? I'd reveal the truth when it was necessary. "Well, for the basics...you are a unicorn, one of the three tribes of pegusus, earth, and unicorn ponies. Right now we are in Canterlot Castle, the capital of Equestria, the nation we live in. As for who you are...I don't know. You'd have to ask one of the princesses about that. Perhaps Princess Luna will come to visit you soon, when she hears you are awake."
"Princess Luna?" I ask.
"Yes, she is Princess Celestia's younger sister and rules the kingdom with her." I decided to ask about the king and queen later, though I wondered why she said that the Princesses rule the kingdom. Different custom?"Nurse, what's your name?" I ask.
"It's Caring Hoof miss. Nurse Caring Hoof." She replied.I frowned inwardly at the name. Caring Hoof? Are these the kind of names these...ponies have? Outwardly I gave a weak smile, not letting how I feel about the name affect it. At least I was right about the nurse part. "Well, Nurse Caring Hoof, thank you. I feel much better now that I have something to go on. It's really helpful." I see her visibly relax. "Could you give me a moment alone? I just need a moment to get some things straight in my head."
"Of course!" The nurse says. She helps me manage to walk back to the bed and get back on it. I wondered how long it would take for my brain to get used to this body. After moving the mirror nearby for my benefit, the trio left me alone with my thoughts. I spent some time looking at the mirror and flicking my new ears about. After I had calmed down I decided that the entire situation was pretty interesting. Sure I was away from home, and that made me sad, but for all I know this could be a second chance given by a divine being 'cause I died or something. Sure I ended up being a purple unicorn, but oddly enough I didn't mind it that much. "Besides," I said to myself since I was alone again, "I don't look half bad." A new voice was also fascinating. I hated my old voice, but my new one sounded pretty cool. "I bet I could actually sing with this, too." Not that I was about to try, not at this point in time.
One of my ears swiveled automatically as I started hearing the telltale sound of an approaching pony. At first I thought it was the nurse, but when the pony opened the curtain in front of the bed I froze. For one she looked like a horse for real instead of the ponies everyone else (including me) seemed to be. She was as dark blue as I was purple, and wore a crown, along with a chest piece that screamed royalty. Her mane looked like the starry night sky and seemed to flow in an unseen breeze. She seemed to be a unicorn like me, but with a much longer and sharper horn. When she arrived I had been extremely nervous, but she wore a light smile. She walked toward the side of the bed, and I was able to see wings and a moon butt tattoo.
Putting the pieces together, I asked a question. "Are you Princess Luna?" I asked, her smile making me feel calm. She meanwhile looked a little surprised at my question. For a moment I worried I had said something wrong.
"Yes I am, but how did you know?" She asked, confused. "I was told that you had no memory except for that of language."
"Well, your highness," I started, making sure to be respectful as possible, "Nurse Caring Hoof said that you might come by. I believed it to be you because of both the regalia you are wearing and the marking on your bu-erm, flank. Not to mention that you are at least twice as tall as any of the ponies I've met, including myself." The Princess nodded to this.
"When you display your evidence like that it seems quite obvious. I am glad to see that you have calmed down enough to put that much together however. From what I have been told, you sounded like you were in quite the fragile state of mind." She replied.
"I was, Princess, but after putting the facts I had in place and making sure to calm down, I have placed myself in a better condition. I do appreciate that you are visiting not so long after I've woken up." The Princess nodded once more. "Princess, can you tell me who I am?" I was hoping that I could get to know who I'm supposed to be. I really hoped I hadn't replaced anyone however, that would make things complicated.
The Princess however, seemed to frown slightly, though it could have been my imagination. "Yes I can...however I must ask if you can handle it. The truth may be too heavy for your mind to bear right now." She said.
"I can handle the truth Princess." I said. "Please tell me, I have to know."
The Princess looked me in the eyes for a moment before starting. "While the entire story will have to wait, I can say this. In a town called Ponyville, not too far from the castle, lives a pony called Twilight Sparkle. She was first sent there to make friends so that she could defeat an evil called....Nightmare Moon." I noticed that her expression darkened at the name, but I didn't look into it much. "She was able to do this by using the magical artifacts known as the Elements of Harmony with the friends she had made in town to banish the Nightmare. Afterwards she requested my sister, Princess Celestia, to let her stay in the town with her friends. After living there for a long period of time, Twilight Sparkle was given an unfinished spell from a famous, ancient unicorn mage named Starswirl the Bearded. She used the spell and afterwards had to help her friends remember who they were, as the spell had switched their cutie marks and confused them all. After Twilight managed to complete the incomplete spell, she achieved Ascension and became an alicorn like my sister and myself. However the spell created a copy of Twilight that was without a mind, just a shell. My sister and I brought it here and waited for it to wake up. It took less time than I expected it to...but you woke up with a fully functioning mind and personality."
It took me a bit to realize what she said. "So if I'm her clone...how come I don't get wings too, if horns and wings mean alicorn?" I asked. I never asked for this, but I was upset at how I got cheated out of wings. I'd love to fly, damn it! Princess Luna gave a small smile. "There hasn't been an alicorn yet who was just born with the power. A pony must earn it themselves." She said. After a few moments, I thought of something.
"Princess Luna? Would I be able to get someone to teach me things? I feel completely lost and I have a lot to learn." I really hoped that asking this wouldn't end up with me being taught by a kindergarten teacher or something. I know how to do math, and I can read. Writing is out of the question however. All I have are hooves. Stupid not-hands.
"Of course," the Princess replied, "I shall teach you myself. Your existence is a royal secret at this moment, save for the medical staff, a few of the royal guard, and the Elements of Harmony themselves. The alicorn magic created you for a reason, and my sister and I shall help you grow. Perhaps, to start the process you require a name. Anything that comes to mind?" She asked. A name, huh? I thought to myself. Well, I can't use Twilight Sparkle, that's taken. Maybe one similar... After a few moments I ended up saying one to bounce off the Princess.
"How about Midnight Twinkle?" With the few names I've heard, I felt it would be worth a shot. I wasn't surprised, however, when the Princess gave me an "are you kidding me" look. "I pray that you jest...though I suppose I cannot expect you to come up with a name with the little knowledge that you have. Perhaps you should try again after our lesson. I have a few duties I must finish before we begin, so I shall take my leave for now. The medical staff will return and likely preform a medical examination, so do not worry. Your time will be well occupied." With that the Princess left.
7402291 I appreciate the comment. I admit that even I feel that it's a bit rushed and my character may be too calm, but I can go over it and fix things. With the clone however, it was made using alicorn magic. Celestial herself saw it create her, and Luna felt the magic as similar. My head canon is that this magic is pure and wouldn't put the mind of someone evil inside this twilight. As for the plans they have, the possibilities they think of are narrowed down to two options. A) this clone has all twilight's memories and is mentally no different from the original. B) the clone has no memories of their own and is a blank slate, as they mention in the story. The magic used in this isn't well understood, and is similar to the elements in that it's good magic, but the understanding of how it works is still a bit too foggy when it comes to specifics. So, the hidden option C) the clone takes memories from another living being, isn't considered. So with a clone twi with the memories of a being that doesn't know a thing about equestria, the princesses assume that option B) is what happened until either clone twi lets it slip or openly tells them the truth. I admit, Princess Luna could be could be less trusting though.
I apologize for my character seeming OOC as well. I based his/her personality on my own, and as I wrote this I got increasingly jumbled up, thus causing my character to do the same. And the new paragraphs ever speech line is from my panic when I first submitted my story. I failed the first time due to how I crammed a lot of speech from two different characters into one paragraph, and I just wanted to make sure I didn't break that rule.
Anyways this boils down to one thing. I need an editor. I rush headlong into stories and I'll keep going until I run out of juice or I'm told that I have some flaws to fix. Until then I just have to fix it on my own. Thanks Scorch215, I really appreciate the critique and can only hope others give me help. This story isn't just for me, it's for my readers too.
Seems pretty interesting.
Don't need the first "as fast" here:
A couple things that felt a little 'off':
I'd have expected Luna to request a situation report from the doctor immediately rather than standing about like a lemon waiting to be asked if she'd like one.
Also don't think she'd take too kindly to having her requests questioned like that, or that the doctor would be brave enough to question the motives of a millenia old god-horse in the first place.
"Midnight Sparkle"? Seriously? What a chump. (and/or massive suck-up to Luna.)
7402395 got it, and for the name I just threw one in there. I didn't have time to think of a better one and I really wanted to get the chapter out. That name will change though, as soon as I think of something. I was going to put in a small joke of "Midnight Twinkle" but I was tired and put sparkle at the end instead
7402337 your character is an OC we know nothing about and till we do we must assume all actions in the beginning are completely in character for him.
I meant the ponies were OOC.
Also even seeing something created does not mean it could not possible be dangerous, as you said alicorn magic is not verybwell understood so for all thru know she could have a magic surge ornpanic and attack with her magic as soon as she wakes up. Basicly anything that is unknown would most likely have guards placed on it just as a safety precaution that a centuries old alicorn would have learned is never a bad idea when dealing with something you know very little about.
As I said these are just my own thoughts and you are free to ignore them and I won't hold it against you.
Anyways expect comments on most of your chapters as I have a habit of doing that for the most Part.
That nurse needs to lose her job, she is terrible at it. A patient colapses out of bed and she calmly walks up and asks if they are OK rather then helping them.
And then she gets guards to help her with a patient that was basicly comatose till presently rather then more nurses and the doctor.
Also leaving the patient alone rather then examining them to make sure they are OK and just take their word for it is a big no.
Also how did the doctor know all of this when he hasn't been in the room at all??
Also find it strange some one would ask what they have figured out to be royalty to teach them as he is from earth where that is not really be one thing done. Maybe ask for help finding some one to teach him and then Luna offering and such.
Once more this is just a xretique based off my own expirance and knowlage and is purely opinion so you are free to disregard everything I say and it will not cause me to stop reading.
7403365 well I suppose I can fix a few more things. Now that I have a few specifics I can re-work the chapter. I hope Princess Celestia isn't too bad, but Princess Luna could be improved. The nurse as well, though I can have her look over Clone Twi (*sigh* still need a good name) but leave anything extensive for later.
The doctor knows about everything because he pressed the nurse for details. Again, probably something to slip into the story. Also, possible magic surge? I should mention in the first chapter that she is perfectly stable, but that gives me an idea. I won't say it here so that I can mention it in the next chapter, but I like it. And for the nurse, I'll slip in a few details that make her seem like she's not an idiot. Now to adjust the chapter! Yay!
7403414 Celestia was good and Luna while a tad OOC IMO it is minor and not that big of an issue.
Also sorry just like when stories are their best and I lean more towards realistic and logical.
7403461 don't worry, I really appreciate it and specific critiques help me a lot to focus the changes.
aaaawwww please don't let her say they are a cartoon or something in that direction.
hhhmm okay I'm not so sure anymore if he has knowledge or not, but you should have made the nurse actually saying that, I can't remember she actually did said that to her.
You maybe noticed that I like to be a bit wary about certain stuff, and I like the guards to stay guards for the moment, and if there is supposed to be a character important to the story ( a guard or someone else), I would like them to be introduced freshly.
7402337
Just add the alternate universe Tag, I don't mind your Clone so far, maybe if she really has not much memories, she could still be a bit childlike....really really interessted in some stuff that is supposed to be normal, or not knowing that is isn't exactly normal if a grown up Mare is playing with foals or something like that, even if I don't mean with that, that it would be forbidden.
I may like it if Luna still has to earn the trust of a few ponys and isn't the all mighty hardheaded ruler either, but so far I can't really complain. I don't mind you adding Twilights normal friends to the story, but I think it would be kind of important to add someone like Trixie as her own friends, one or two.
I mean since your going to make her a different Twilight, it could help if she has some things that are different compared to Twilight in the future.
(personality,two different friends (so it is not to much if you want to keep the others always in the story), the relationship to the family =Twilight maybe being a mother child, and her becoming a father child......stuff like that)
7403558 Well, I do have plans for this twilight to be different. She has the memories of a human, one who isn't a brony, and thus has a different take than anyone else on life. Also the nurse did mention Princess Luna, but I should probably make that a bigger deal.
7403599 okay, but if I actually missed it, then it isn't important, I actually thought she hadn't said it.
Well, since you're "asking" for name suggestions, how about "Heliotrope?"
It's a bit odd, I'm sure, but hear me out. The protagonist doesn't have much to work with, and he'd already tried spinning a similar name from the original. The next obvious source of inspiration is his appearance, and he'd already plainly noted how purple he is. Aside from the color, it still refers back to Twilight Sparkle's name, because of the star-shaped flowers. Plus, Twilight Sparkle is a name that has more in common with Luna (technically), yet she's Celestia's student. So, why not give the protagonist a name that has more in common with Celestia, despite being Luna's student?
Also, unless you have something special planned by giving the protagonist the exact same cutie mark as Twilight Sparkle, might I suggest starting him out as a blank flank?
7404348 the cutie mark thing I'll think about, but I wanted to start it out as the same and possibly change later on. As for the name, I'm not sure what it means exactly but I'll consider it. Thanks for the suggestion.
EDIT: never mind, I looked at the link. Now I am seriously considering the name, and I could use it with the cutie mark.
Seems like this is gonna be a good story, it's well paced and the protagonist is logical which i like. Keep it up.
The description kinda reminds me of Twilight's Twinlight... oh well, better get started on reading this first.
7405118 yeah, it is similar with double twilight, but the circumstances and storyline will be vastly different.
7405132
After reading the first two chapters... yep, completely different.
Also,
From experience, this I can consider inaccurate.
Boy, do I hate those kinds of nightmares...
You. Yes, you there. You shall take this, and you shall enjoy it.
Well, that went better than expected. Our heroine (I'll refer to her in her current gender now) seems to be adjusting well.
It'd be pretty hilarious if she tells her own story, especially that freak trampoline accident. And then Twilight will go crazy about the opportunity to learn more about a new world. Or for once, keep her cool and help not-Twi adjust.
Anyway, I'm liking this so far, so let's see what you'll do with it next
Just wait a couple seasons
7405204 well, the main character is going from experience, and I feel that nightmares are different from dreams. Huh, I wonder if I can make a story ark on that....*shrugs*
7405241 oooh, an upvote image with twilight? I shall take it!
7405460 I was wondering if someone would comment on that. I intentionally put that joke in there in the hope that I would get called out.
Well, now to work on the next chapter/think of a character name. Heliotrope isn't enough like a pony name, but the sun themed idea seems interesting.
7406112
Even in my dreams I can feel everything... maybe it's just me then.
Oh well, this is coming from the main character from their experience after all...
7406133 well feeling your dreams is nice when it's not bad! ^^
Also, for the clone's name, I vote Midnight Sparkle or Dawn Sparkle. Celestia has indicated she considers her a legitimate member of the Sparkle family, so linking them by names symbolically would make sense.
7406272 I actually was originally going to name her Midnight Sparkle, but it seemed silly and unimaginative. Still, any names gives I'll consider. Still got time until I finish the next chapter!
7406320 Between the two I suggested, my preference would be for Dawn Sparkle.
7406398 duely noted
7406112 How is Heliotrope not enough like a pony name? O_o
Plenty of ponies are named after plants, for instance. Other names make no sense, like Coco Pommel. Others are just weird, like Hoofer Steps. And there're even those that I'd consider embarrassing to have, like Harshwhinny.
It's fine if you don't choose Heliotrope, but at least dismiss it with a reason that makes sense. XD
Also, one of the nicknames you can get out of it is Leo, a star constellation. (Coincidentally, Leo is connected to the sun in astrology.)
...Huh. Maybe a name inspired by a constellation, or a star within them, is an idea. At least one pony (Lyra) in the series is named after a constellation, and their universe has the Orion and Ursa constellations, so there's that.
7406560 sounds like a plan. i may postpone the naming to the fourth chapter. The beginning scene in the next chapter seems like it'll end up much longer than I had originally planned.
So, while I write the write the chapter, how do you all think the mane 6 would react to meeting the clone, supposedly after she has decent knowledge of equestria and after Twilight's coronation as a princess?mIm curious.
7406724 Do whatever you feel needs to be done. Personally, I like giving names that are more than just a way to distinguish someone from others, whether it's obvious or something that may be fun to investigate, so timing and/or context can be important to consider. Since the protagonist gets to choose or accept a name in this case, would they be hasty or not all that picky, think it important and worthy of time-consuming consideration, or would he fall somewhere in between? And if he thinks that he's probably not returning to his former life any time soon, if at all, would he desire a name that would hold some meaning to him, or simply one that he could live with?
As for their reactions: I'd just go with what would come naturally to them, toward any normal pony, aside from obvious reasons for curiosity, confusion and intrigue -- and sympathy, perhaps. Within the context, I don't think any of them have any reason to be suspicious or antagonistic. I also imagine that they will have spoken on the matter at least once by the time they meet the clone, and something like, "Well, the clone was made by the Elements of Harmony," may have come up. If they can't place their faith in the Elements of Harmony's behavior to do something beneficial, then... Yeah.
7406911 thanks for your two cents, as well as indulging my question.
7406449
here's a few names to bounce off yah give me their chances for each on a yeah, no, maybe scale
1- Starbutt the Awesome
2- Velvet Shine
3- Stellar Drift
4- Twilight Shadow
5- eventide dawn
7407443
1. No, but extremely halarious. I shall save it for use one day!
2.Not feeling it
3.I like it, but makes me think of a race car or Pacific Rim
4.Maybe, but with adjustments
5.Not feeling this one either
Sadly, I want to use the first one but I cannot due to logic and the will of the story. It is a dark day indeed....
7407725 You know what's wrong with Starbutt the Awesome? It's not Starbutt the Bearded.
Such a name would call for a hairy plot, indeed.
7407876 perhaps Starbutt of the Heavy Flanks?
7407911 Wait, are we getting into fusion territory, now?
Movie trailer voice-over: "In a world where Twilight Sparkle is Princess Celestia: see her make waves with her bodacious bottom, which all of her kingdom has been starstruck by despite its -- and by extension, her -- crimes against equinity. No, seriously, she totally wiped out that seaside village with a tidal wave when she canonballed into the ocean just now."
7407940 I was thinking of when twilight copies her mentor TOO much. Then write a spin off, where twilig works off her Starbutt while Twitwin what he's and teases by eating desserts in plain view.
Also, there used to be a canterlot castle pool, but it was filled in after the costs of refilling the pool got too high due to a certain sunbutt's cannon balls
I so so so so love this fic eeeeeiiiii I shall be reading
Well, looks like I have two options. Either I can finish the chapter sometime tonight or tomorrow morning, and have it be as long as the first chapter, or I can add more stuff and wait a bit longer for a bigger chapter...what do you guys think?
7410084 I prefer bigger chapters. So take as much time as you need.
7410084 Finding a proper stopping point for a chapter is more important than determining an arbitrary length for it. A chapter, ideally, should only be as long as it needs to be. Whether that happens to make the chapter short or long, take whatever time you need to do it.
7412988 that's the thing. I could finish up the first half and have it be a standalone chapter, or add the second part which makes it longer and would still fit. I'm just taking a while with the important first half
This feel... I know it all too well.
I do hope as Twilight mark 2 (whatever her name used to be) become more relaxed and closer to Luna that she tells of her past life.
7407725
Would naming her Gelded Dusk be too on the nose?
A bit exposition heavy, lots of talking and most of it seems robotic, without a description of the doctors to go by or how acurately he diagnosed the new twilight's situation, that copped with the human's mind very quickly accepting reality, feels surreal.
The exception being overpowered hyper cute fillies of doom
vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/mlp/images/7/71/Flurry_Heart_ID_S6E1.png/revision/latest?cb=20160327000953
7592277 That last half is hilarious!!!!
Hey! Twinkle is a perfectly acceptable name!