Passionate about the arts, education, and My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!
Cheerilee is the beloved teacher at the Ponyville Schoolhouse. The annual Ponyville Schoolhouse musical is a much-anticipated event and, due to her School Board connections, it is usually Diamond Tiara in the spotlight as the lead role. This year Cheerilee has a plan to help Diamond Tiara grow within herself and help another of her young students to shine!
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Added to the Diamond Cutters group, because yay, DT!
It is a bit of a shame this isn't a longer story. Say one that showed a bit more about the time between casting and opening night instead of just giving us a brief bit of telling of how it all turned out. It could easily run two or three concurrent plot threads. The first would be Sweetie dealing with her unwillingness to sing in front of a crowd. That would provide for some good Cheerilee mentoring moments and allow us to see Sweetie grow. The second could be lots of silly cuteness with DT and Spoon as they promote the show in all sorts of zany ways sure to drive Cheerilee near-insane
Like how DT and Sil manage to get the princesses to show up. Ideally with part of the DT/Spoon arc being DT relying on Sil as more than just an assistant.
Also, a minor suggestion: When you introduce Royal Riff, you right away mention what his cutie mark is. I'd suggest moving that two paragraphs later, when he talks about being true to his cutie mark. Something like:
“I wouldn’t be true to my cutie mark,” said Royal Riff, glancing at the double treble clefs that adorned his flank, "....
Would flow a bit better, I think, more worked into the story, rather than a quick description info dump when he's first introduced.
I agree, it should be developed further. I wrote this story in response to a children's writing class challenge to create a 1000-word story.
Ideally, I would love to develop it further into a G.M Berrow length children's chapter book. The missing time-frame is all in my head.
Thank you for your feedback!
7118414 That explains it. Stories for the very young do tend to be short and telly.
The site rules allow for a majorly more developed version of a story to be published as its own story, so hopefully you'll find the time to develop it further in the future. And then I can add that to the group as well
No objections from Spoiled?
7118455
Sounds great! Thanks
7118544
Totally!
Not half bad, though I wish it could be expanded on a bit more.
7119331
I will have to come back to it and develop it into the children's chapter book it deserves! I wrote this story in response to a writing for children class challenge to create a 1000-word story.
Thanks!