Of Feathers and Tiaras

by Babs_Seed5

Of Feathers and Tiaras

Author's Note:

Hello FimFiction! This is my first ever story, I hope you enjoy :D

Imagine yourself soaring over a little town called Ponyville. Nothing too special about it. Glide past the town bakery, Sugarcube Corner, catching the smell of freshly baked treats. Zoom past the stretch of farmland called Sweet Apple Acres, until you reach the little school building. That’s where you’ll find most of the fillies and colts at this time, looking bored as ever. But focus your attention on the little orange pegasus filly with the purple mane. She’s the awesome one.

“The answer to that is, Scootaloo?” The filly snapped out of her daydream to look at her teacher, Miss Cheerilee.

“Do you know the answer?” She asked, rather impatient. Scootaloo shook her head, biting her lip. She usually wasn’t this embarrassed when she didn’t know the answer, but Miss Cheerilee had caught her daydreaming, and the whole class knew it. Cheerilee turned away with a frown that quickly snapped into a smile as she asked,

“Archer, how about you?”

“The answer is 42, Miss Cheerilee.” Archer answered without missing a beat. Ugh. Archer. Scootaloo rolled her eyes. The filly just absolutely HAD to style her mane like Scootaloo's because she “thought it was nice”. Nice? It was awesome! Nice hair did not impress Rainbow Dash.

“Psst, Scoots...hey, psst!” Scootaloo pricked her ears when she heard a familiar country accent whispering her name. She turned to her friend.

“What?” Scootaloo whispered back.

“Are you excited to test out the new playground equipment?!” Apple Bloom whispered back excitedly. Scootaloo turned to look at the clock. 11:20. They would be let out for recess in three minutes. She turned back to Apple Bloom.

“I dunno, I guess.” Scootaloo gave a half-hearted shrug. Apple Bloom did a little bounce in her seat.

“Wasn’t it nice of Tiara to donate all that money?” At the mention of Diamond Tiara, Scootaloo’s eyes clouded over. She turned to Apple Bloom, a scowl on her face.

“Will you ever stop asking questions?” Scootaloo snapped, rather harshly. Apple Bloom looked taken back. She turned away from Scootaloo, eyes forward.

“Okay class, time for recess!” Miss Cheerilee exclaimed. The class cheered, springing out of their seats and rushing outside. Scootaloo would normally be one of the first ones out, but today she slowly got down from her seat and trudged outside.

“Hey Scootaloo! Me, Apple Bloom, Tiara and Silver are gonna play a game of tag! Wanna play?” The little white unicorn known as Sweetie Belle asked. Scootaloo gritted her teeth.

“No.”

“Are you su-” Sweetie Belle began to ask.

“Yes.” Scootaloo cut her off.

“Okay then, suit yourself.” The unicorn trotted off to where the others were waiting. They all threw questioning glances her way, except for Apple Bloom, who was still mad. Scootaloo’s ears plastered themselves to her head as she stomped off, heading towards the sandbox.

“Their all Tiara this and Tiara that! Oh, and don’t forget Silver! Pfft, give me a break.” Scootaloo muttered as she drove a shovel into the ground, not caring where the sand went. Her mind replayed a scene over and over again.

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo had just finished practicing their routine. Scootaloo was feeling pretty good about it, when Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon came trotting up, smug grins on their faces.

“Girls, we just wanted to say your act is quite impressive!” Scootaloo exchanged a confused glance with her fellow crusaders.

“Wait... What?” Sweetie Belle exclaimed, shocked. Scootaloo was feeling the same way.

“Um... Thanks?” Apple Bloom said, face scrunched up with confusion.

“Oh, but of course. As a matter of fact, we think you're very brave.” Silver Spoon said, crossing the stage to make her way over to where Scootaloo was standing.

“Brave? Why?” Scootaloo said, eyes following Silver Spoon.

“Isn't it obvious? It is to us. In fact, it's obvious to everypony. You're showing all three types of Ponyville ponies, yet you have a Pegasus pony…” Scootaloo leaned in.

“...who can't even fly!” They both chanted. Scootaloo almost bit her lip clear through. She thought that no pony had noticed her lack of flight, because she had always made up excuses as to why she wasn’t flying at that moment. Her brain rushed to think of one for this moment.

“What in tarnation does that have to do with anything?” Apple Bloom said, her confused face now showing anger.

“I'd say not even being able to fly has everything to do with everything. Doesn't it?” Silver Spoon came behind Scootaloo as Diamond Tiara walked in front of her. Scootaloo kept her eyes on the ground. Diamond Tiara stopped walking.

“I mean, a Pegasus pony at your age? You should've been flying long ago.” She made sure to look at Scootaloo as she said it. Scootaloo became angry, raising her eyes to glare at Diamond Tiara.

“So what if my wings can't get me off the ground?” She snapped.

“Your career as a flag carrier isn't getting off the ground either.” Diamond Tiara said simply as if she was talking about the weather.

“Ms. Harshwhinny will never pick a Pegasus pony who can't fly to represent Ponyville in front of all of Equestria.” Silver Spoon pulled Scootaloo’s wing, causing her to wince. She let go of it with a snap.

“Ms. Harshwhinny never said anything about that!” Sweetie Belle tried to defend her.

“I would've thought that was obvious.” Silver Spoon scoffed. They began to exit the stage, but not without throwing one last insult her way.

“Well, have fun practicing anyway, even if your routine will never—how shall I say—take off!”

Scootaloo felt something moist slide down her face. She quickly wiped it away with her hoof, looking around to see if anypony noticed. She was met with a pink coat. Scootaloo’s eyes made their way up to look upon the face of Diamond Tiara.

“What do you want?” Scootaloo snapped. Diamond Tiara blinked, opening her mouth. She took in a breath, but closed her mouth and hesitantly sat down beside Scootaloo.

“Well?” Scootaloo turned away as she felt more tears rolling down her face.

“Scootaloo are you...are you crying?” Diamond Tiara said hesitantly.

“No! I just...got some sand in my eye!” Scootaloo growled. She felt a hoof on her cheek, and her face was firmly turned towards Diamond Tiara.

“Scootaloo, why are you upset?” She asked, genuine concern showing in her blue eyes.

“It’s nothing.” Scootaloo pried Diamond Tiara’s hoof off of her face.

“Well, it’s better that admitting you're not crying.” Diamond tried to joke. Scootaloo wasn’t laughing. She sighed.
“Look Scootaloo, were supposed to be friends now. I may not know much about friendship, but what I do know is that friends tell each other their problems.”

“We are not friends.” Scootaloo said coldly. Diamond Tiara stood up.

“You know what, Scootaloo? You can never be happy. There’s always got to be a problem with something! I’m trying the best I can and you don’t even care! You guys forgave me for everything that I did, or so I thought. Well clearly, I thought wrong!” Diamond Tiara was on the brink of screaming. Throughout her speech, Scootaloo had still been shoveling away.

“Say something, pegasus!” She sneered. Scootaloo stabbed the shovel so hard into the sand that it snapped in two. She stood up, nose inches away from Diamond Tiara’s face.

“You wanna know why we're not friends? Because friends don’t point out each others flaws. They don’t scan each other, looking for the one imperfection that they can use to make them feel like dirt. Friend’s don’t make everyday seem like there’s not a better tomorrow. Friend’s are always there for you. They are supportive, kind, funny, come in all shapes and sizes, big and small, shy and outgoing. But they one thing they all have in common, is that most friends don’t make you contemplate leaving the earth because they can’t do they one thing that their entire species is known to do, and somepony just has to come and point out the screams that repeat it... Every. Single. Night. I bet you're not haunted by these screams that hide in the walls, in the books, in my scooter, in my head!” Tears flowed freely down Scootaloo’s face, and her voice raised to a scream, pausing everypony on the playground. She pushed her muzzle into Diamond Tiara’s.

“Does that explain it?” She said, turning away.

“Scootaloo..I...I’m s-sorry...I didn’t know…” Diamond Tiara sniffed. Scootaloo whirled back around.

“You didn’t know what? Oh wait, you didn’t know that it was affecting me this whole time? Lemme guess, it was just a ‘joke’?” She spat. Diamond Tiara was on the brink of tears, looking around for anypony to help. For the first time, Scootaloo noticed that the whole playground was staring at them. She stared back at them for a second before bolting.

“Scootaloo!” She heard, but she didn’t slow down. She just ran. Didn’t stop to get her scooter. Didn’t stop when she bumped into Derpy. Didn’t stop when she passed Sweet Apple Acres, or SugarCube Corner, not even when she saw a familiar rainbow streak in the sky. She only stopped when she reached the edge of the Everfree Forest.

“Scootaloo! Stop!” She heard Diamond Tiara’s voice. Upon hearing that, she ran into the Everfree. Through the mud, branches, and thorns, she was getting cut all over. Scootaloo heard Diamond Tiara galloping after her, so she ran faster. Scootaloo had never felt so alive. That is, until she skidded to a halt just in time to stop her back hooves from going into the gorge that presented itself in front of her. Scootaloo carefully made her away off of the edge. She heard a gasp and hooves desperately skidding to a halt, and turned around, only to be met with a wide-eyed Diamond Tiara as she tried to stop herself. Scootaloo rolled out of the way clenching her eyes shut, but her ears were filled with a terrified scream. She gasped, opening up her eyes. She saw a pair of pink hooves clinging to the edge of the gorge. Scootaloo made her way over to them, to see Diamond Tiara with tears pouring down her face, shaking as she attempted to hang on.

“S-Scootaloo..p-please!” She begged. Scootaloo felt a weight drop itself onto her chest.

“Scoot...Scootaloo...I-I’m sorry. I know I..I said it before but you have t-to believe me! Even if I wasn’ on the brink of death, my..my apology would be just as sincere. I w-was a really despicable pony, but I’ve c-changed! I only made fun of you because..well..I..I.. admired you, Scootaloo. I wasn’t happy with who I was, but here you w-were, not being able to do what everypony else c-can, and making the..the best out of it. I felt like I had to bring others down with me so I could...so I could.. feel some purpose in my life, but now I r-realize... that I was wrong. So please, Scootaloo, i’m asking you, will you... accept my apology...and my friendship?” More tears rushed down Diamond Tiara’s face, and added to the rushing water below her. Scootaloo felt her own tears surfacing again, but this time she didn’t wipe them away.

“I..I..” Scootaloo began to struggle to say it. Her ears pricked at the sound of cracking stone, and terrified crying. She gasped as she saw the stone beneath Diamond Tiara begin to crack, and only watched as the pink hooves began to sink with the stone. She made the decision right then and there. Just as Diamond Tiara began to scream as the stone gave way, Scootaloo felt her wings buzz into action as she soared towards Diamond Tiara. She reached towards her, getting closer and closer each time. She realized Diamond Tiara would hit the water before she reached her, so in a desperate attempt, she pushed her screaming muscles forward.

“Gotcha!” She exclaimed as she reached Diamond Tiara just as her tail skimmed the water.

“Y-You're flying!” Diamond Tiara gasped, clinging onto Scootaloo’s neck. Scootaloo didn’t say anything, her wings were running out of energy.

Just...a little...more…

Scootaloo screamed as she made the final push up and over the stone. Once they made it up, they both collapsed, blacking out.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Scootaloo woke up to an annoying beeping sound. She rubbed her head, eyes still closed.

“Will somepony turn that thing off?” She exclaimed. She heard excited gasps.

“Scoots!” She heard two voices cry in unison. Popping open her eyes, she saw Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.

“Oh Scoots, i’m so sorry! If I known, I wouldn’t have gotten so mad and I was so scared that I was gonna lose one of my best friends!”” Apple Bloom sobbed on her hospital bed.

“It’s okay Apple Bloom… I didn’t tell anyone about it…” Scootaloo awkwardly pet Apple Bloom’s head. Her attention was pried from her sobbing friend by the door opening and two sets of hooves walking in.

“Squirt!” She heard a familiar raspy voice call out.

“R-Rainbow Dash? You came to see me?” Scootaloo blushed.

“Course I would, kiddo. And what you did, shows some real loyalty, Scootaloo.” Rainbow Dash said, looking at Scootaloo with pride. Scootaloo smiled, but then her face dropped to a frown.

“Diamond Tiara! Where is she? Is she okay?” Scootaloo sat up. Rainbow Dash chuckled, and stepped aside. Smiling, was her new friend, Diamond Tiara.

“Hey, Scootaloo..” She began.

“Scoots is fine.” Scootaloo smiled at her. Diamond Tiara gasped, lightly hugging the pegasus. Scootaloo saw Rainbow Dash motion for Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom to step out. Diamond Tiara stepped back, clearing her throat again.

“Hey, Scoots.. I want to thank you for saving me, and I hope you know that everything I said out there, was from the bottom of my heart. I owe my life to you, and for that, I am eternally grateful. Which is why I want to give you this...” Diamond Tiara said, removing her tiara.

“You’re tiara? I’ve never seen you take it off!” Scootaloo exclaimed.

“It’s my lucky one.” Diamond Tiara said, holding it in her hooves.

“Here’s to the pony who taught me that there’s always a better tomorrow”. Diamond Tiara gently placed the tiara onto Scootaloo’s head. Scootaloo smiled, graciously accepting the gift.

“So...what’s next?” Diamond Tiara said hesitantly. Scootaloo smirked.

“When the other’s decide to bust me out of here, I wanna hang out with the pony that taught me that it's never too late for second chances.” Diamond Tiara gave a wide smile.

“I’d like that.”

Comments

[RaylanKrios]

For a first story theres a lot to like here. Try cutting back on the monolougeing and dialing back some of the overwrought parts at the end, but you've got a nice little story here.

[deadpansnarker]

Okay, let me just say I love this story, and will almost certainly be reading it again. And again. Great work, my friend.
A few more things:

1. I would have called it 'Unforgiven'.

2.Even though there was no sign of Scoots harbouring any animosity towards Tiara in that Crusaders Of The Lost Mark episode, I can see why she'd would feel aggrieved about being teased about her disability just so DT could win a stupid competition, so this fic has firm foundations.

3. DT quick enough to keep up with Scoots? Damn, she must be more in shape than I thought...

4. Love the hint you gave that DT has as many tiara as Apple Bloom has bows! Bet they're all imitation jewels...

For a first fic on this site, this is very impressive indeed. I say you have more than earned yourself an up vote, and this story is going straight into my library. Have a nice day!

[fallen starr]

So this was a brilliant idea. You clearly have a good grasp of plotting a story. There were a few things I noticed that you will probably want to work on. First, the emotions in this escalate very quickly. DT suddenly yelling at Scoots and Scoots yelling back, and then the emotionally charged speeches were a bit over the top, especially when you're looking at two kids. I would have more back and forth between them, instead of having them patiently taking someone screaming in their face. Having them interject more and building up the anger slower allow for a less jarring emotional outbursts.

Other than that, though, the story was very solid. The pacing was good and the descriptions were just enough to see what was happening. And the ending was nice and left enough open for the story to continue if you ever wanted it to, while still tying up everything that the story had. For this to be your first story, you done an amazing job.

[Fracturedheart]

Right it the feels!!!!

[Babs_Seed5]

6823370 Thank you!

[Babs_Seed5]

6822860 Thanks for all your kind words!

[Proper Prose]

A nice story, but I would like to point out that friends do point out each other's flaws sometimes but that's only to be supportive. Sometimes a flaw is a problem that needs to be taken care of before it gets out of hand.

[Proper Prose]

6822860
Well, those clothes and toys she probably buys don't carry themselves and her mother might consider exercise, which makes the body physically appealing, as an important part of social climbing.

[Zoetic Zebra]

Awesome, very nice for a first story.

[Alex Warlorn]

I imagine Diamond Tiara had "At least she isn't stuck being stuck up like you." Playing in HER HEAD over and over too. The declaration by an outside source rather than her mother, that being a spoiled bully is all she could ever be!

[Fluttercheer]

Very nice story, but so short and fast. You could have dragged it out a little longer, by giving Diamond Tiara and Scootaloo more time to talk in the Everfree Forest.
The way you wrote it is fitting and works, with how fast Scootaloo had to make a decision before Diamond Tiara would fall to her death, but this whole long dialogue on Diamond Tiara's part could have been spread out by you over a longer conversation, in which Scootaloo participates too.
That would have made the moment a lot more intense.
For the end, there are a few things that I don't understand:

First, was Scootaloo flying at the end supposed to her having suddenly learned to fly in that stress situation, because she needed it, or did she just try to fly and hovered a little to save Diamond Tiara, like we saw her doing it numerous times already?
And why did they land in the hospital at the end? Scootaloo wasn't injured and neither seemed Diamond Tiara.
You also wrote Scootaloo a little bit OOC at the end, with her graciously accepting Diamond's tiara. We know that she isn't the type of filly to gladly wear such stuff, so there should have been a reaction by her that shows that she is not fond of wearing it, even though she accepts it as a gift.

It's a solid little story otherwise, and very good for your first one, the buildup at the beginning before they are in the Everfree Forest is very nice.
But the final confrontation could need some work and should be made longer.

“Archer, how about you?”

Very clever to bring Archer in here.

“The answer is 42, Miss Cheerilee.” Archer answered without missing a beat.

Archer clearly knows that she can never be wrong with this answer.

[Fluttershyisacutegal]

gah the feels!