Twilight yawned as she got up out of bed, stretching a bit as Spike snored in his bed. She went into the bathroom, brushed her teeth and combed her mane, before trotting downstairs. She headed into the kitchen and opened the freezer, finding their newest resident fast asleep. When Cirno was taken into Golden Oaks yesterday she was still the size of a kitten. Without even being asked where she wanted to sleep she made a beeline for the freezer and, rather adorably, used ice tray for her bed and an ice pack for her pillow. Twilight didn't have it in her to wake Cirno up and added a kitchen towel to her ensemble for a blanket.
This morning, however, the fairy was back to her normal size and far too big for the cramped space, curled into a ball and snoring cutely.
She so adorable, I don’t really want to wake her up, Twilight thought with a smile before clearing her throat.
“Cirno, time to get up,” she said gently.
The fairy just mumbled and shifted herself a bit before continuing to sleep soundly. Twilight sighed rolled her eyes.
“Come on, Cirno, it’s time to get up,” she said more forcefully, using her magic to pry the ice fairy from the freezer. She came out with a popping sound, the force being enough to wake her up. Her eyes fluttered for a moment before she stretched and yawned adorably.
“Ohayo, pretty unicorn lady.”
“Ohayo?” Isn’t that Neighponese? Is she bilingual?
Twilight decided to get to that later and set the fairy down.
“My name is ‘Twilight Sparkle’, Cirno.”
“Oh. Ohayo, Sparkle pony lady,” Cirno replied drowsily, yawning and stretching again.
Twilight sighed. “We’ll get to work on that later. For now, follow me, it’s time to make breakfast,” Twilight said as she turned to lead her out of the room.
“I want popsicles,” Cirno replied as she lazy followed after her.
“Popsicles? For breakfast? Um, how about pancakes?”
“Mmm hmm,” Cirno replied, still drowsy.
Jeez, and I thought Spike had trouble getting up.
“Alright you just wait at the table, I’ll go get Spike, ok?”
“Ok,” Cirno said before resting her head on the table.
Twilight smiled before heading upstairs. She found Spike still snoring away in his bed.
“Wake up Spike, time for breakfast,” she prodded while taking off his blanket.
Spike groaned as his eyes slowly fluttered open. “Ugh… Hi Twilight,” he greeting before yawning loudly. “What’s up?”
“We need to get ready to greet our new guest. You get yourself fixed up, I’m going to make some breakfast.”
Spike winced a bit, which did not go unnoticed by Twilight.
“Is something wrong?”
“It’s just… I don’t know how to feel about her,” he replied. “I mean, she seems just like a kid, but she’s also really powerful. And Celestia seemed afraid of her. Is it really alright to keep her here?”
Twilight mulled over his words before thinking back to how she let Trixie go after having to be confronted with the Ursa Minor.
“I think we just need to give her a chance. She certainly doesn’t seem evil, more just… accident prone. I’m sure if we’re patient with her and give her time, she’ll be somepon-um, I mean, some… fairy we can friends with.”
“I hope you’re right,” Spike mumbled.
Spike headed towards the bathroom to get ready while Twilight headed back downstairs. She paused a moment and smiled, amused at how Cirno had fallen right back asleep, lying her head on the table. She even had a little puddle of drool next to her mouth… Which had actually frozen.
Please be as innocent as you look, she thought before heading into the kitchen.
She grabbed the pancake batter with her magic only to pause. She had no idea what fairies ate, much less an ice fairy.
Then again, she didn’t seem to have a problem with the idea of pancakes, Twilight thought. I’ll have to ask her about it later.
Twilight got to work, follow the carefully laid out instructions she had written for herself.
Spike always does better with making pancakes, despite not using any instructions or checklists. I’ll let him make them next time.
After about thirty minutes she had cooked enough pancakes for herself, Spike, and Cirno. She levitated the delicious smelling food onto three different plates, grabbing the butter, syrup, silverware, and napkins as well, and carried them into the room. Surprisingly, she found Cirno still drooling, only this time it was from staring at the pancakes hungrily.
I guess food is as good a motivator as any to wake up, she thought with a chuckle.
Just at that moment Spike began to descend the stairs. Twilight set the table, crabbing two pancakes, syrup, and butter for herself. Spike and Cirno practically raced to see who could cover their plates with the most number of pancakes. Thankfully, they were able to share the butter and syrup without fighting over it, and then promptly began to dig in.
After everyone had their fill Twilight cleared her throat. “Cirno, I think we need to have a talk.”
“Hm? About what, pony lady?” Cirno asked.
Twilight groaned internally. Really need to work on that.
“Now Cirno, I know you only just arrived yesterday, but we need to set some things up now that you’re. First, as much as I’m sure we’re going to enjoy your company-”
“We are?” Spike asked.
“-we can’t just leave you home unsupervised when Spike and I are out taking care of something. And so, I think it would be best if you started going to school here in Ponyville.”
“‘School’? AUGH!” Cirno groaned loudly. “School’s boriiiiiiiing!”
Why does almost no foal like school? Some of my best times were spent studying under Celestia, Twilight thought before pushing those thoughts to the back of her mind. But this isn’t up for discussion. She needs an education. Now, how can I get her to want to go?
“You know, if you go to school you’ll be able to be with Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo during the day.”
Cirno’s face lit up. “You mean I get to be with those three cute ponies!?”
Got her.
“Yes, but only if you start attending school with them.”
Cirno’s enthusiasm ebbed away before she brought her hand to her chin and began to ponder the situation presented to her.
… Wow, she’s really thinking this through, isn’t she? I wonder what exactly is going through her head?
“...Um, Cirno?” Twilight asked, beginning to feel a bit awkward.
“Hm?”
“Have you made a decision yet?”
“About what?”
Spike facepalmed as Twilight did her best to suppress her frustration.
“If you want to go to school with the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”
“Oh. Okay!”
Twilight sighed in relief. Well, at least that’s taken care of.
“Well, now that that’s out of the way, I need to head over to talk to Ms. Cheerilee to let her know she’s going to have a new student.”
“Oh, can Eye come!?” Cirno asked.
She certainly says that word strangely.
“Um… That might not be best. The town is still a bit, um… wary of you.”
“Huh?”
“She means they’re scared because of what happened yesterday,” Spike explained.
“Spike!” Twilight shouted, scolding him for his lack of tact.
“They’re… scared?” Cirno asked, looking completely deflated. “But… But… Eye don’t want the pretty ponies to be scared of me.” Cirno’s eyes began to water, looking like she was ready to bawl. “Eye… Eye…”
Twilight looked at the fairy with sympathy. There’s no way she’s a monster. She’s just a little girl who doesn’t know her own strength. With an unexpected feeling of maternal instinct she levitated Cirno over and hugged her, ignoring the sharp decrease in her body temperature resulting from contact.
“Don’t worry Cirno, everything will be better soon. You just need a chance to show them all who you really are. Just stick with it for now, ok?”
Cirno sniffed. “O-Okay.”
Twilight smiled and let her go. “Now, I’m going to need to to stay here today while I get things all set up. In the meantime, why don’t you play with Spike?”
“M-Me?” Spike asked, still recovering from what he was seeing.
“Maybe you can show her some of your super-cool comics?” Twilight suggested wryly.
Spike’s face lit up. “Yeah, that’s a great idea! Follow me, Cirno!” he called as he rushed up the stairs, Cirno flying after and looking hopeful.
Twilight simply smiled, determined to make this all work, before opening the door to walk out.
“Ok, fillies and colts. We’ve got a new class member showing who’s going to be with us starting today,” Miss Cheerilee announced at the beginning of class. “Now, some of you may have some feelings about her, but I want you all to be courteous and give her a warm welcome. You can come on in now”
The class of foals was surprised to find the ice fairy from two days ago hover in.
“Now, why don’t you introduce yourself?”
The young girl puffed her chest out in pride. “Eye’m Cirno! Eye’m the strongest!”
For a moment, nopony said a word.
“Except you got beaten,” Diamond Tiara muttered under her breath.
Cirno heard her and glared, the class beginning to get scared as she began to fume. “Yeah!? Well… She just the drop on me! Eye’ll beat her next time!” she declared with a pout as she crossed.
“You’re going to try and take over Equestria?” Silver Spoon asked in fear.
Cirno’s response was to tilt her head in confusion. “What do you mean?”
“You said you were going to beat Princess Celestia,” one of the other foals explained.
Cirno gasped. “That big pretty pony was a princess!? Eye didn’t know that!”
“Does that mean you won’t fight her now?” Snips asked.
“Nah. Eye’m still gonna fight her and beat her!” Cirno proclaimed proudly.
“So… you are trying to take over Equestria?” Snails asked.
“Huh? No. Why would Eye do that?”
Sweetie Belle cleared her throat, trying to find a way to prove her new friend wasn’t evil. “So, if you do beat Princess Celestia, what are you going to do after?”
“Oh, that’s easy! We’ll have party!”
The class just stared.
“‘A party?’” Sweetie asked, hoping to get some clarification.
“Yeah! Like a picnic! There’ll be tea and sandwiches and ramen and yakisoba and takoyaki and- Oh! Melon bread!” Cirno explained, clearly excited at the possibilities.
“So wait a minute, you want to beat Princess Celestia, and then invite her to a party?” Diamond Tiara asked. “That’s weird.”
“What do you mean? Isn’t that how things usually happen?”
Once again, the class stared silently in confusion.
Miss Cheerilee cleared her throat. “Well Cirno, as much as I’m sure we would all like some clarification, I do have a class to teach. Now if you could take a seat, we can begin.”
“Okay!” Cirno replied enthusiastically, taking a seat next to the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who were happy to welcome her.
Class went on normally for the most part that day. Cirno did have some trouble wrapping her head around some of the history lessons, a problem that Miss Cheerilee made sure to remember when she saw Twilight later. However, the real surprise came during math.
“Alright class, we’re going to go over a few basic math problems, just to keep your minds sharp. Now, all of you cover your eyes. No peeking!”
Everypony (and Cirno) did as instructed while Cheerilee wrote on the board.
“Now, when I say go, I want you to look at the board. Whoever thinks they have all the answers, raise your hoof. Or, um, hand, as the case may be. Ready?” The class nodded back. “And go!”
Everyone uncovered their eyes to look at the board.
5 + 4 = 7 X 4 =
7 + 8 = 8 X 12 =
25 + 36 =
42 - 5 =
“Now make sure you-”
“Me! Eye can do it!” Cirno called, raising her hand while she practically jumped out of her seat.
Everyone was surprised, especially seeing that it hadn’t even been a full ten seconds before Miss Cheerilee said “go.” After a moment’s hesitation, Cheerilee spoke up.
“Well then Cirno, if you think you can do it, come on up.”
Cirno happily flew over and grabbed the chalk, writing in the answers with absolute confidence. When she was finished she set the chalk down, turned to class and puffed out her chest. “Eye’m a genius!”
5 + 4 = 10 7 X 4 = 31
7 + 8 = 16 8 X 12 = 107
25 + 36 = 62
42 - 5 = 36
The whole class burst out laughing. Even the Cutie Mark Crusaders couldn’t quite hold their giggles back. Cirno, for her part, didn’t look hurt. She looked confused.
Cheerilee held back her giggles. She was so confident, it’s quite a shame. She then turned to look at the board again, specifically the first question. Huh. Now that I look at it… No… it couldn’t be...
“Looks like you need a little after-school tutoring,” Diamond Tiara said smugly.
“What do you mean by that!?” Cirno shot back. The classes quieted down, afraid there might be repeat of Cirno’s first day, but luckily there was no display of icy magic. “Eye got them all perfectly, right teacher pony lady?”
When there was no response everypony looked to their teacher who was mumbling under her breath.
“If that one is 23, and that one is 33, then…”
“Um, Miss Cheerilee? Are you alright?” Sweetie Belle asked.
“H-Huh?” she said as she turned, noticing the class was all looking at her. “O-Oh! Um… Cirno, could we meet after class?”
Cirno’s shoulders sagged. “Did Eye… mess up?” she asked dejectedly.
“What? Oh, no no no! Well, um… not exactly,” Cheerilee stuttered. “Just… come and see me after class. I promise you’re not in trouble.”
“Oh. Ok!” Cirno replied cheerfully.
“Please take your seat,” Cirno. The fairy happily obeyed and class continued.
Twilight was enjoying rereading one of her many magic instructional books when a knock came at the door.
“Just a minute!” she called, setting it down. She opened the door to find a rather peculiar sight: Miss Cheerilee with a look that clearly showed that she was attempting to suppress shock. Cirno, on the other hoof, looked positively delighted. “Um… Can I help you, Miss Cheerilee?”
“Um… yes. Can I… can we talk for a bit?” Cheerilee asked, trying to find her words.
Twilight looked to Cirno, wondering if she was in trouble, but the joyful look on her face clearly didn’t bear that out. “Of course. Please, come in.”
They both walked inside and took a seat, Cirno next to Twilight and Cheerilee across from them.
“Twilight, before I say anything else, I’d like to first confirm that you are now functioning as Cirno’s guardian, correct?” Miss Cheerilee asked.
Twilight was taken aback by that question before turning to look at Cirno, who looked to her with a happy if a bit confused smile. Twilight thought of her depressed face yesterday when she was told the town was likely still afraid of her. With a look of determination she turned back to the teacher. “Yes, I am.”
“Ok then, I would like to talk to you about Cirno’s mathematical skills,” Miss Cheerilee said before reaching into her saddlebag and pulling out a few pieces of paper. “First, I wrote these questions on the board in class. Cirno came up to the board and wrote her answers.”
Twilight looked at the page and winced. “I see. Well, I know it’s not the best, but-”
“Yes, I know, they’re all wrong… in base 10.”
“Pardon?”
“You know what I mean, right Twilight?”
“Well, of course. Base 10 is how standard mathematics is set. Where one number place only carries over to the next highest spot when it hits ten.”
“Correct. Now Twilight, look at all those questions in base 9.”
Twilight looked back at the numbers, adjusting her calculations for base 9… and was stunned. Adjusting for base 9, every single question was right. She double and triple checked the problems, but it came up the same every time.
“They’re… They’re all correct,” she muttered.
“She wrote the answers to all of these is less than a minute. She didn’t need to show her work, but still.”
“Do you think it’s a coincidence, or-?”
“After school I had her take a quiz. Fifty questions, no work needed to be shown,” Cheerilee interrupted, hoofing her a few more papers.
Twilight looked over the questions and was stunned. The questions consisted of basic math, exponents, and even algebra. Twilight checked over them and her jaw dropped open.
Every. Single. One is right… in base 9.
“It took her fifteen minutes to do that quiz,” Cheerilee explained. “Once again, no proof required, but still.”
Both of them just exchanged glances before turning to the fairy, who smiled confidently.
“Cirno… do you understand what you’ve done here?” Twilight asked.
“Yup!” she said proudly while puffing her chest out. “Eye’m so smart even Eye don’t understand me!”
Twilight and Cheerilee stared back at each other before smiling nervously to the fairy.
“That’s… one way to think of it…” Cheerilee replied.
“Why are we doing this again?” Spike asked, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.
“Look, I just need to get an idea on how smart Cirno is. I need to figure out if she’s genuinely clueless or if she’s just pretending to be stupid,” Twilight answered.
“And this is what you came up with?” Spike asked, pointing to the simple puzzle before them.
“Just get ready to take notes, ok?” She then cleared her throat. “Cirno! TIme for breakfast!”
After about a few minutes Cirno came out of the basement, having grown to big to stuff into the fridge again, rubbing her eyes.
“Ugh… Where’s breakfast Twilight pony?” she asked.
Still gonna have to work on that.
“It’s right there,” Twilight said, pointing to a bucket of ice cream hanging by a rope from the ceiling.
Cirno’s face lit up immediately. “Ice cream!” she cheered before flying towards it.
“Ah ah ah!” Twilight said before catching her in her magic. “If you want ice cream for breakfast, you’re going to have to earn it. Or else you’re having cereal.”
“What do you mean?” Cirno asked.
Twilight set Cirno on the ground before levitating over a stool and a stick. “If you want that ice cream, you’re going to need to get it using only these. Also, no flying or magic, ok?”
Cirno pouted for a moment before looking back at the ice cream. She turned back to Twilight with a determined look in her eyes. “Yosh!”
Definitely neighponese.
“Now, I’m going to get Spike and my breakfast ready. I hope you’re done before we get back,” she said before turning to trot into the kitchen. After that she quickly hid behind the doorway with Spike. “Ready to take notes, Spike?”
“This seems mean,” he muttered.
Twilight turned to him, an annoyed look on her face. “Spike, she’s going to get the ice cream either way, this is just a way to incentivise her so she’s completely focused on-”
Spike, his mouth having dropped open in shock, interrupted Twilight, grabbing her muzzle and turning it to face the living room, where her jaw promptly fell as well.
Cirno had not stood up on the stool and whacked the ice cream with the stick as planned. Instead the stool was upside down, balanced on one of its edges, with the stick precariously balanced on the highest leg. And all of this was somehow holding up Cirno as she balanced on the edge of the stick and grabbed the ice cream.
“Yatta!” she shouted and calmly walked down the pole and then the stool, the whole structure remaining in place after she got off. “Twilight pony! Eye got the bucket!”
“... How… How did you do that!?” Twilight shouted.
“Do what?” Cirno asked as she opened the bucket. A moment later the stool and stick fell, not even catching her attention.
Twilight and Spike just stared, one thought filling both of their minds.
IT’S STUPIDLY AMAZING!
Celestia couldn’t help but feel a bit nervous, constantly having the thought “is Twilight ok?” in the back of her mind for the past two days. She tried to calm herself with some tea and reason out the situation, but just couldn’t help herself.
She didn’t seem that bad, being able to make friends with those three fillies. But on the other hoof, she is one of them. Maybe I should just make a quick visit, just long enough to see if-
Celestia’s thoughts were cut off by a dragonfire message appearing in front of her. Celestia quickly grabbed it in a levitation spell and read the message.
Dear Princess Celestia,
For a long time I had thought the boundaries of what was possible were pushed by brilliant and courageous minds, those who were intelligent enough to perceptive enough to realize what others didn’t However, today Cirno made me realize that sometimes the so called “impossible” can be accomplished for a much simpler reason: being too stupid and ignorant to realize that it is supposedly impossible in the first place.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle
P.S. I need a bucking drink, so please excuse me if I don’t respond to any messages for a while.
Celestia just stared at the letter for a few more moments.
Well… I can think of worse news to hear...
Nice to see an Update, It's Really Funny Reading This.
If Gilgamesh is random, I Wonder HOW Random Cirno is going to be.
And Who would those be before Cirno's Arrival?
7587436 Ah, so you caught that, huh?
Let me just say the original title for this fic was going to be Two Drunks and Two Dumbassess.
This Cirno-person is really something.
Clever use with covering all your bases with this chapter. Wondering if Cirno's mind is warped due to this:
Permanent Drunk due to displacement?
7587532 Oh you haven't seen anything yet.
7587665 Those who know Touhou probably have a good idea on who I'm referencing. I promise you'll have the first answer in no more than four chapters.
7587676
I am intrigued.
This is awesome!! Where can I learn about the Touhou Project?
(Also I loved the part with Sakuya's theme mixed with the epic sax guy!)
I am really glad that this story continues. It is really one of the bright examples of a funny, good Displaced fanfiction. I am positivley stoked to get more of this adorable, definitvley not an Ork but still somehow operating like one, little freezer fairy.^^
Oh god, Cirno is a memelord.
This is fucking glorious.
I know how she did it, she froze the connection points to ensure a stable platform.
7588133 Logic? In a fic about Cirno? BLASPHEMY!
Cirno! A genius in base 9, and can alter the laws of physics through sheer ignorance!
7588191 Silence, I want to be able to consider it possible without going through, this.
th04.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/276/f/e/twilight_sparkle___flame_on_by_mysticalpha-d5gog1d.jpg
Perhaps the others are Suika and Yuugi being the drunks and maybe Rumia being the other idiot.
That Base 9 thing was pretty slick.
Was the base 9 thing another Cirno thing, or was it a real math thing?
Math is literally my weakest subject
7590360 Mine too, but I do like learning new things.
Ok, here's how it works. Base 10 is what numbers are usually set up with. It means "once a value reaches ten, a value must carry over to the next highest place." This is why the "ones" place can only go up to 9. Once there's no more room, it must be bumped up to the tens place. SO:
No more room in ones digit, must move up to next place.
No more room in ones digit, must move up to next place.
"Base #" basically means "what amount the digit must reach before a new digit must be added." For example, binary is basically Base 2.
No more room in ones digit, must move up to next space.
No more room in ones digit, no more room in tens digit, must move up to next space.
No more room in ones digit, etc., etc.
So, for Base 9, it works like this:
No more room in ones digit, must move up to next space.
No more room in ones digit, etc., etc.
So in base 9, 10 = 9. 20 = 18
So in the case of 25 + 36 = 62
I hope I explained that in a way you can understand.
7591258 ah, I see... That is interesting.
7587508 I've Read you're "The Mighty Warrior of Epicness", If It's a Displace Story being written by you, Expect: Randomness, Comedy and Epicness. I Enjoy a good humor and epicness from your Stories.
And As for your Original Title... Really?
7591283 And thus we have a case of "don't explain the joke." Sorry about that.
7591423 I changed it because I felt it limited the amount of characters I could add. Cirno is our protagonist, but there will be more.
7591430 nah, it's just a case of 'information overload' but I'm sure it'll sink it later... Probably.
7588231 That is possible, tough there exists a more suitable idiot savant in TH, some one who would wreck the established order of Equus.
en.touhouwiki.net/images/thumb/2/28/Th123Utsuho.png/275px-Th123Utsuho.png
Exactly, Twilight. You are the only few who get to spend time with Celestia.
7592362 bit late there on the comment methinks. Also Hail Dan Hibiki! The greatest fighter known to man!
7591434 Alright. I look forward to seeing where this will go.
heh Cirno difffis logic in such a cute way! XD
7740956 OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! she drove twi to drink more plez
7591671
Yeah, if you want Equestria to end up as a smoking crater because of one single slip-up on Okuu's part. Satori and Rin might know how to handle her, but the ponies? Nope. (Well, maybe Celestia, the Sun comes cose to Okuu's powers...)
This is brilliant, a literal idiot savant.
I would love to see more of this, and I've never even seen Touhou (that's what she's off right?)
8029227 That's right. I'm glad you like it. I'll try to get to work on it when I can.
Hey me again, just a little nitpick I noticed in reading it a second time, the story description is kind of misleading, upon going in it implies a displaced character trying to keep there identity from being overwritten by their character, suggesting some kind of struggle.
However in the story itself, whoever they may have been seems to have completely embraced the Cirno identity, and has no recollection or no interest who they once were.
Not that this is a bad thing, if anything I think its more fun this way, Cirno is a lot more fun to read about than some random dude/dudette from a con, and never seeing it from Cirno's point of view just makes her antics cuter and funnier. I just might suggest you change the stories description to better match the story at present.
On an unrelated note, I am picking up some maternal vibes from Twilight, at least before the most recent revelation about Cirno's intelligence, I think it is adorable and I hope there is more planned.
Lol
Wishing this gets an update someday :(
My friend Maziodyne would like this. He has a Touhou Displaced of his own, You can find it here.
I need more of this. This is the best.
Also, as a math buff, I had to double check the validity of the claim that they were all correct in base 9. These are my results:
5+4=9 7x4=28
7+8=15 8x11=88
23+33=56
38-5=33
Yup. Cirno's a genius in ways we can't possibly hope to comprehend.
7591258
So if you were to do 9+10 in base 9, would it make 21, or am I overthinking this?
I kinda expected her to get them all right, but this is soooo much funnier. I never even thought of a character using the wrong base before.
8637110
IT shows how OLD her world is and how long its been cut off from the rest of us.
Or perceptive enough/to perceive enough.
7769257
i agree
7591258
Ironically, this means the number "9" doesn't exist in Base 9.