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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
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Nice to see another chapter of this story. Hope to see the next one soon as I want to see how he will interact with the Star sisters at the party.
Interesting. Looking forward to seeing how things go, also I completely forgot that every Royal Guard looks exactly the same.
I like this story. But them updates tho ;-;
6679892 updates?
6679891 yea i thought it be funny to show his reaction and the fact that they are brightly coloured
6679663 yea i just have to work on their persona atm
6679913 meaning- story takes long to update meaning- chapters take a while to come. But thats not necessarily bad.
6680013 yea sorry about that, i expected the last chapter to be out in a week but my brain decided to change its mind several times, next one will be out quicker though
Needs some editing done, a lot of spelling and grammar errors, but not a bad story.
Called it I called it it's now my favorite story
Oh.... My.... God.
AAAAAHAHAHAHAHAH! Oh sweet baby Jesus! Tears! Hahahaha!
that was a awesome read hipped Twi was funny.And it was a nice getting to know him.
Power Levels! They exist even in Mlp!
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6832596 "RIGHT IN MY FUCKING EYE!!! JASON WTF?!"
I've just started off on this story and I can easily say I really like the idea behind it. The age and height elements are a nice addition that I rarely see in the stories I've read. The house being brought along with items within is also a nice change of pace to the normal 'Princesses help with financial problems' , 'One of the main 6 housing the character', and the 'camping out in Everfree until being noticed'. All in all I enjoy this story and shall keep reading
But with all great things there must be bad.
The chapters so far need a massive amount of editor loving. A lot of the fixing is brightly obvious. Given you said it was written mobile wise first chapter I still think it could of been a bit better. Another thing that I noticed could use some improving is your tact at adding new elements. Some info just seems meshed together in hopes the reader suddenly understands fully. I'm sure some like the 'everything upfront' deal but some of what makes a story really dig it's claws into readers is the element of mystery. Sure tell us the mysterious man's name but wait up on the groups info and history a bit so a bit of character and story development occurs. Following chapters could have the main character asking more on the man and learning a bit from Celestia or Luna then later on learning from old books about great acts they performed and dark times they faced that Celestia or the others tried to hide.
I really do like this story and really want to see it get noticed more. If you could get the early chapters cleaned up I'm sure the green would smash the red in the Like / Dislike bar. First impressions are everything and starting off with patchy grammer and spelling is not a great first sign. Such things can ruin a readers ability to dive into the story and experience all you want to share.
With all I just said I still recommend any potential readers skimming the comments section to give this story a chance and read. I know I'm not a known person on this site or veteran in acc age, followers, or stories but with all the stories I've read here and fan fiction I can say I see a gold bit hidden here.
Now I'm gonna continue reading ^w^ Just had to say something after the 3 chapters (going by pages) mark.
As said by a great man -- Allons-y!!
AAAAAAAHH!!!
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the typos hurt my eyes!
still a nice fic though....
woot!
I'm dying lol
Human females are able to bear children by nine years old, if that is what you mean. Sexual maturity for humans in general is something like fourteen to sixteen depending on the individual. Sexual and physical maturity are not the same thing. Eighteen is more like the final height of our growth before we start aging in the decline sense. Well, for women. For men the incline continues a bit longer with increased muscle mass until about thirty, when working off excess body fat and building muscle becomes much more difficult and energy begins to drop a lot compared to earlier years.