BePinkied

by RainythePegasus_Archive

Bad ending (ending only)

Fluttershy ran her hooves trough Pinkie Pie’s mane. “Hey, it’s ok. I know you really want him to come back, but Pinkie, he’s gone. Trottingham is pretty far from here. There isn't anything you can do. He was always so rude to you anyways, he never treated you right. You are a wonderful pony Pinkie Pie. And you shouldn't let any pony make you feel any less, okay?” She wipes a tear from her eye, planting a kiss on her forehead. Pinkie stares at the hoof Fluttershy used to wipe the tear away.

“Come on Pinkie, let's get out of the bushes. You are getting cut by all the thorns.”

Pinkie Pie looks at her body, noticing small. bleeding, cuts.

“Wait… I don’t have to get tears, a scream or blood from my friends… I can just get it from myself! Silly old spell won’t know the difference!”

“Pinkie… Oh dear. You didn't listen to what I said at all, did you?”

“No time to talk! I got to make this spell quick! Bye!”

Pinkie kisses Fluttershy’s cheek and quickly runs off.

---

Pinkie Pie looked over the spell.

Note: Ingredients cannot come from the pony casting the spell

How can the spell figure it out? It won’t know. She grabbed the rose from her hair, and ripped it petal by petal in a soup pot. She added the sugar and honey, measuring carefully and puts as much focus as she could, as she always did when baking. Next was the tears. She remembered the incident with Fluttershy earlier that day, and, began crying into the pot. Next was the unicorn scream. She could imitate Rarity's pretty well. One last ingredient, earth pony blood. But, her cuts stopped bleeding. She dug at one until she could get it to bleed again. She then grabbed a spoon as quickly as she could as she sang the song that went with the spell.

come back to me
I need thee
your heart is mine
wrapped tightly in a vine
for you my heart burns
and you shall return!

Black smoke came out of the pot, filling up the room. She coughed and hacked, opening a window. Just 2 days. 2 days and he’ll be back. She couldn't wait.

---

Pinkie Pie woke up. Today was the day he would come. He would love her again, and everything would be alright. Her body hurt all over, like somepony was constantly stabbing her. She opened her eyes. Why was it so dark? She put her hooves to her eyes to make sure they were open. They were. She stumbled out of bed, feeling for the curtains. They were open. She was sure it wasn't rainy or cloudy, the weather pegsi said it would be a sunny day. Her body and eyes hurt allot. She needed Mrs Cake. She called out her name, but no sound came out. She tried again. Nothing. And then, she remembered the one sentence she glossed over. The sentence after “Note: Ingredients cannot come from the pony casting the spell”.

If you do not comply, you will be punished for an eternity.

Comments

[FrostVortex]

It's a neat concept, but the execution wasn't that good and it felt way too rushed. There's also the occasional grammar mistake, but those can be easily fixed.

[RainythePegasus_Archive]

6584993 Thank you for your feedback. I will admit I did rush it, I got the idea too late and wanted to get it out before or on Halloween. I'll take my time and get an editor next time.

[FrostVortex]

6585188

Glad to know I helped!

[Shy Marble Pie]

"The Winter pegasi created a blizzard" paragraph was so long it kind of threw me off with reading it, maybe a space somewhere around there might help.

Just a bit of pacing seemed off in this story, as said felt just a bit rushed.

I thought the execution was good! It flowed as a plot fairly well, The Friendshipping at the end was very sweet too. I'd thumb up but the button isn't working for some reason.

I'll fav though.

The bad ending was nice and dark, though seemed OOC. other than that really good!

7.5/10

[RainythePegasus_Archive]

6590987 thank you for your feedback. I'll keep it in mind for my next stories.