Every day is Monday
Spike had just started pouring his strawberry-frosted mini-haystacks into his cereal bowl when he heard Twilight coming down the stairs of the Golden Oaks library. He hesitated, jug of milk in one hand, in order to listen to the cadence of her hooves on the steps before letting out a satisfied grunt. Judging by the plodding, shuffling sound, with frequent yawn-breaks, Twilight had spent most of the night studying away, and was most likely severely sleep-deprived as a result.
"'Morning, Twilight," he said as the unicorn came into view. He poured the milk into the bowl, starting the process of getting the miniature haystacks nice and soggy. "Let me guess: another late night of studying?"
"Good morning, Spike," Twilight responded, taking a seat across the table from him. Her horn lit up, floating another bowl out of the cupboard and dumping a measure of the cereal into it. "Yeah, I was up late reading Starswirl the Bearded's 'Grimoire Tempus: Time, Space, and Other Relative Nonsense'."
"What, that thing again?" Spike snorted as he sprinkled powdered ruby over his cereal.
"Yes, it's simply..." Twilight trailed off, brow lowering in confusion as she stared at her number one assistant. "What do you mean 'again'?"
"Well, it's the same book you read the night before. And the night before that, come to think of it."
"What? No, I haven't. I just got it yesterday."
Spike rolled his eyes. "Yeah, ha-ha. Good joke, Twilight. It's even funnier today than it was yesterday."
Twilight's horn glowed, shoving her cereal bowl aside. "Spike," she said, in a voice as serious as calculus, "I only got that book yesterday."
"Ah, no, Twilight. You got it on Sunday, remember? It showed up in the afternoon and you spent ten minutes giving Miss Ditzy the third degree because she'd forgotten to deliver it on Saturday."
Twilight wilted, looking a little ashamed at that. "Was I really that bad?"
"A little bit, yeah."
"I didn't mean to sound critical. I should apologize to her."
"You did that already, remember?"
"On Sunday, when I got the book?"
"No, the day after you got the book." Spike frowned at the frazzle-maned unicorn across the table from him. "Are you feeling okay?"
"I'm... I'm fine, Spike." Twilight chewed her lip. "What day is today, then?"
"It's Wednesday morning."
Twilight's brow furrowed as she stared at him. "No, that can't be right. Can it?"
Spike pointed silently towards the wall calendar, which was the kind where you tore off each day. It was currently proudly stating that the day was, indeed, "Wednesday".
"This isn't possible," Twilight muttered. "This is supposed to be Monday morning. How could I lose track of two whole days?"
Spike chewed his cereal as Twilight started pacing in the kitchen. Years of serving as her trusted Number One Assistant allowed him to gauge her mood accurately, and he set his spoon in the bowl and pushed his breakfast aside just before she reached full freak-out stage.
"You didn't try out any of the spells, did you?" he asked.
"What?" Twilight stopped pacing, blinking over her shoulder at Spike. Her mane was frazzled and her eyes were a little wild, clear signs of an imminent breakdown. "Maybe? One or two little spells..." Her eyes bugged out as she sucked in a deep breath. "Oh, no. No, no, no, no! This is really bad. Really really bad! I must have done something, cast some spell, that resets my personal timeline every day!" A look of horror crossed her face. "Every day for the rest of my life is going to be Monday!"
"Oh, no!" Spike cried. "How horrible!"
"What do I do?" Twilight began prancing frantically in place. "I'll be trapped in Monday forever!"
"Maybe the Princess can help?" Spike suggested.
"Good idea! I'll write a letter—"
"I can't send a letter today, I'm all out of flame."
"What?!" Twilight stopped dead and stared at him. "That can happen?"
"I guess so. I used it all up yesterday during the big Ponyville Cookout Party, because we were counting on you to buy the propane for the grills!" Spike paused briefly. "Actually, if you're resetting every day, then that would probably explain why you didn't order it. Still, I've got to wait for my flame to recover before I can send any letters to Princess Celestia."
"How long?" Twilight demanded.
"Not until tomorrow at the earliest," Spike said.
"That's too late! I'll have reset by then!"
"Maybe you can take the train out there?"
"Good idea, Spike!" Twilight directed her manic, wobbly-eyed gaze at the nearby wall-clock. "The next train leaves in twenty-seven minutes! I'd better hurry!"
Spike considered asking if she really had the train schedule to Canterlot memorized, then thought better of it. Of course she did.
Five minutes later, with hurriedly-packed saddlebags resting on her back, an obviously-overwrought Twilight Sparkle ran out of the library door with a parting, "Be good, Spike!" lingering in the air behind her.
Spike, standing in the doorway, watched as she galloped off. "Huh," he said, then closed the door.
~~*~~
It was nearly midnight when Spike heard the library door open. He glanced up from his comic book to see Twilight, looking tired and worn out, trudging her way inside, leaden-hoofed and sagging. He briefly considered getting up before deciding Nah, my beanbag chair is way too comfy right now.
"Hey, Twilight," he said, placing his comic on the floor beside him. "How was Canterlot?"
Twilight froze in the process of hanging up her saddlebags, one of her ears twitching.
"Spike," she said eventually. "Is there something you want to tell me?"
"Who, me?" Spike asked, all innocent. "I don't know what you mean."
"I got to Canterlot in the late afternoon," Twilight said as she hung her saddlebags on a hook by the door. "I got off of the train, ran all the way to the palace and barged right into Princess Celestia's day court."
"You don't say?"
"I do say, Spike." Twilight stepped into the main room and stared down at him. "I blurted out the whole thing. The book, the late night studying, the spell, and the time resets. And do you want to know what the Princess said to me?"
"Oh, boy, do I ever."
"She sat there on her throne, in the middle of a court full of nobles, royal guards and petitioners. She looked down at me and said, 'But Twilight. Today is Monday.'"
"Huh," Spike said. "Go figure."
"I just want to know one thing, Spike," Twilight said, stepping closer.
"Yeah?"
"Why?"
Spike crossed his arms and glowered up at her. "Maybe next time you'll think twice before eating all of my ice cream."
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In honor of April fool's day, I present the first chapter of Hoopy's notebook. I hope you enjoy it!
Many thanks to Coandco for pre-reading this chapter
Meddle not with the possessions of dragons, for you are gullible and they are patient.
GG, Spike.
Great story. The only thing I can think to make it better would for Spike to reply with Happy foals day instead.
Ice cream is serious business! Take mine and I shall make you scream!
Y'know... I like this! It's about time Spike got to be a clever jerk instead of the other sort.
Golden Oak Library, all capitalized :)
Triple quotation on the first line here :P
Other than that, funny story. I like the idea of a collection of short stories - I'll have to keep track of this
AAAAHAHAHA! Perfect short for April Fool's Day. XD That was fun! The delivery on Twilight's detailing of her conversation with Celestia was perfect.
I do think you should have started it out with some reference to the ice cream, though. With no prior warning, it felt like a tacked-on excuse for Spike's ploy. Maybe even just a mention of the empty ice cream carton in the trash? Anyhoo, otherwise this was fantastic. XD Thanks for sharing!
Well that didn't work.
No wait, it worked spectacularly!
And Spike was never seen again.
LOL!
The prank is weak with this one. Teachings, he requires. Ruination, shame, a good prank causes not these things.
Enjoy the joke, Spike, you're doomed.
So far, so good.
I will be tracking this one.
Can't wait to see what else you're gonna write.
7084362
and here I always thought the quote was,
"Meddle not in the affairs of Dragons.
For you are crunchy, and taste good with ketchup!"
Oh well, live and learn.
^_^
Hah. I must try this next April Fool's.
That was great! More please!
Hahaha, Brilliant. I think Spike has enough karma saved up to afford this one.
Out of all the days to be stuck on, Monday would be the worst.
Alright, that was funny, but I'll have to say that Spike did go a bit overboard with the revenge plan.
Evil, evil mastermind Spike.
Nice. Of course, now often do you need to ask what day it is?
Total breach of trust!
Keep going! ;)
Hoopy, you are a frood who really knows where his towel is.
Seems fair.