We clustered together on the far side of the ravine, staring up at the broken castle before us. I knew how this was all supposed to go, of course. I'd seen this episode so many times, I nearly had it memorized. The problem was, I wasn't Twilight Sparkle. Well, aside from physically, I mean. I was really just a human college student who, while studying for her physics final, had suddenly found herself in the body of a specific purple unicorn on the day of the 1000th Summer Sun Celebration.
I'd read fanfictions like this, so I knew what to do. And that was, obviously, to lie to everyone I met, pretend I was actually Twilight Sparkle, and to keep as close as I possibly could to the script, all so that Equestria would be saved in the end. And then hope that, maybe, Princess Celestia would be able to send me back home.
So, I met the Mane 6 one by one, in order, which was awesome. We made our way through the Everfree Forest, which was... less awesome. We managed to get past every obstacle thrown in our path, and now we stood just outside of the Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters.
Things were going so well, in fact, that I really should have expected that something was about to go horrifically wrong.
It was honest Applejack who started it, of course. Then Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie and, finally, Fluttershy. Then five pairs of eyes turned to me, a question evident in their collective gaze.
"So, let me get this straight," I said. "None of us are actually ponies?"
They all nodded.
"Every single one of us was a human yesterday, and somehow became one of the Mane Six today?" I quirked an eyebrow. "And we're all part of the fandom?"
They all nodded. Except for Pinkie Pie.
"I wasn't a human," she said. "I'm actually a member of the Xrrcksh survey team. We're an interplanetary species that has been tasked to subtly observe humanity and help guide their development." She grinned as we stared. "I am a fan of the show, though!" She leaned over and stage-whispered into Rarity's ear, "We get the internet on our mothership!"
I blinked at her. She grinned back.
"O-okay," I said after a moment. "I guess the real question, then, is how are we going to stop—"
I cut off as a purple mist began to swirl around us, eventually coalescing into a an alicorn of pure, malignant darkness. A bitter cold, reminiscent of the void between the stars, billowed out from her as her predatory eyes looked over our little group. We squared off, a wordless agreement passing between us: Win or lose, we were at least going to go down fighting.
We lowered our heads and, as one, began our charge.
"Wait!" the dark alicorn cried out, holding up a hoof. "I'm not actually Nightmare Moon!"
lol, yeah this sounds like it would make a good HiE. Like, Why am I Pinkie Pie x10.
Later...
I groaned and wished I still had fingers. Then I could rub my aching temples. "Okay, show of hooves," I said to the population of Ponyville assembled before the town hall. "Is anyone here actually a pony?" After a beat, I added, "Or other native sapient species."
That one mule who always showed up in the earlier seasons nodded his thanks as he raised his hoof. Literally no one else followed suit. Including Celestia.
"Great," I muttered. "Just great. Any ideas?"
"All in favor of going through the motions?" Helen said from the body of Rainbow Dash.
This got a lot of hemming and hawing. "Maybe the good ones," said Rarity-Michelle.
"But they're all good ones!" cried... I'm just going to keep thinking of her as Pinkie. Her species doesn't seem to even have the concept of vowels.
"I really wish that were true," I said to her, "but it isn't."
"I've got an idea," said the mule.
All eyes turned to him. "Uh, yes?" I said.
"You could all help break this curse and turn me back into a dragon."
This got a lot of excited and curious murmuring. "Uh, okay. All in favor?"
"Aye!"
"Neigh!" Everyone turned to Pinkie, who gave a textbook giggle-snort. "Sorry. I couldn't resist."
7605680
Ha! Brilliant, I love it
This... is amazing...
And it turns out EVERY SINGLE SAPIENT LIFE FORM in Equestria has been replaced by a human!
And I get Discord's powers!
The world is destroyed in 10 seconds flat.
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7605680
You know, I kinda want to make this it's own thing, now. Like, I'm really, really tempted to just write a story where, one day, everypony in Equestria turns out to be some human fan of the show. I feel like I might have already read something similar to that, though...
7605751 Tirek turns out to be...
i86.photobucket.com/albums/k94/rappin4Tay/8.jpg
And Tirek's really no different from the show anyway... except he shoots ponies now.
7605751 Reminds me of a short story comic in 2000 AD (British comic, Judge Dredd was one of the regular stories). Time traveler goes back in time to watch Hitler's death, and it turned out everyone in the bunker was a (disguised) time traveller as well, including Hitler (history major doing in depth character study for thesis)...
Hahahaha...that's great. I especially liked the bit about the alien brony. (And the punch line of course)
*golf claps*
7605807 That was based, I believe, on Let's Go To Golgotha! by Garry Kilworth who also wrote the "Welkin Weasels" books and "House of Tribes", one of the best animal fantasy stories I've ever read.
7605908 Not surprised. It's amazing what gems can be found by digging around. There's 2 or 3 short story compilations that I've read, then realized a movie I've seen was based off of one of those stories...
7605751 That exact thing? I don't recall, but similar concepts, It does sounds familiar.
Great idea nonetheless. Could be fun to expand a bit into some sort of hillarious mayhem.
" Author's Note: I don't even know how my own brain works sometimes."
I'm pretty certain you've got me beat by a mile or three when it comes to understanding one's own sanity... :)
7605751 Yes, that sounds like something I would love to read. If or when you think on writing it that is.
This would be a hilarious story! Someone please make this a story
That was great. I really want to read a full-length story based on this.
Oh my WORD, THIS IS HILARIOUS XDXDXD
I would seriously enjoy reading a longer version of this. Just as spoofy but continuing the theme of finding out that practically everybody important has been replaced with a human (or, well, alien. A fan, let's use that term.)
7605751 Doooooo iiiiiiiit 8Dd
7605751
Hoopy, we trust you. So please...
i.ytimg.com/vi/Alt0SKEL84M/maxresdefault.jpg
7605751
If you've read something like that before, can you point us to it? And if you can't, then you need to make it happen. That idea is too epic for five hundred words!
Totally saw the punchline coming. Cracked up anyway.
I, too, would love to see what you do with thus glorious pile of derp.
7605680 DO IT!!!!
7613012
Tremble before its mighty theme song!
God, that brought back memories. I actually saw that shortly after it got released on VHS
Well, at least they aren't all changelings
A human in a Human in Equestria?
Huh... that could work.
You'd have an outside perspective on the standard HiE story format.
Human #1 would be having their audience with the Princesses after reaching the point where they'd failed to keep up the pretence of whichever pony they'd become while Human #2 would just be one of the guards on duty in the background having been sent to Equestria weeks or months earlier.
!
Human #2 wasn't interesting enough, so whoever was behind it decided to drag Human #1 as well.
7605751
Wasn't there one where it turned out everyone was a changeling?
7605751 please do. Or at leas continue this story.