28 3:10 to Hell
Lily - 26th of Plantation ‘15 EoH - Noon
Today was not a good day. I’d known it wasn't going to be a good day since I had woken up, I was going to have to try an untested spell on one of my friends for the sake of not screwing over literally everyone. What I hadn’t known is that casting it would entirely deplete my reserve, and the charge stored in my chain. I was bone dry.
If anything went wrong, I was powerless to stop it. I couldn’t even use my telekinesis after carrying those tickets back. That had been the last drop.
On top of that suddenly appearing guard, dealing with the ticket clerk had been stressful in and of itself. While it’s possible to get train tickets in Zebrica without an ID, they will interrogate you to within an inch of your life to be sure you’re not a threat. Needless to say my nerves were wearing thin.
My nerves were wearing thin while watching David’s lower spine for anything abnormal. Swelling, blistering, mange, muscle spasms… Bleeding… oozing… The sheer number of things that could go wrong were horrifying.
If I hadn’t grafted three mice together once and then separated them successfully after a year, I wouldn’t have even attempted this.
I’d taken the changeling genetic sample I’d procured, namely Jade’s old leg, extracted the nervous clusters from it via autopsy, reverse engineered the biology behind the parts of the tissue which responded to transformation magic, and then with the help of a bucking genius of the field, worked out a spell to create similar nerve clusters and fuse them to a mammal's spinal column as well as patch them into the autonomic reflexes so they would function.
Anypony who knows anything about medical science knows that there are a billion ways that can go wrong. A graft from one mammal to another is one thing, but from an insect to a mammal? This wouldn’t be the first, but it would be within the first hundred successes if my information was accurate. Not only that, but it was also a transfer of magic-enabling biology, something we had yet to perfect as a species. Not only that, but it was also a changeling’s shifting ability so it was a graft that had to change the rest of the patient's biology, while not changing itself so that he could change back!
Despite the terror causing my heart to beat too quickly for my liking, I was eighty percent certain this would work! At least, for a few months… Thirty percent sure it would be permanent. Hopefully nothing would go wrong before I had my magic back, then I could simply fix it. But if he started rejecting the graft right now…
I took a deep breath to calm myself. Take it easy Lily. He’s not in any pain, and nothing looks wrong on the outside. He’s fine for now. Just push away the fear and get into the box car.
I flinched, realizing I had just made a very very cruel unintentional joke. “Ah… bucking hay…”
David turned around, giving me a concerned frown, “What?”
“I just… Eh… Bad joke.” I said, turning to look at the train yard full of large cars of all kinds.
Our train was currently pulled into the station. You could see a few hundred ponies boarding the passenger section-
“How bad?” Jade asked curiously.
“Uh… My brain unintentionally made a joke which you could see as a reference to the Great Wars rounding up of-”
David visibly winced, “Oh god… That happened here too? You know what, no, fuck it. We’re not having this conversation.”
“Was? Happened here?” I asked, “Oh nein… He did it over there too?”
“I said we’re not going to talk about this. I want to enjoy being a new species and remember it without having to think about the assembly line style of genocide.” David grumbled. He looked off to the right at the station’s platform and instantly took to the distraction. “Hey look! Samu- Wait wah- Actually never mind that’s the least weird thing I’ve seen here.” David exclaimed switching from excited to confused to normal in the span of a heartbeat.
I don't know how his face moved like that.
Samurai. Huh, that didn’t sound like an Equish word. Why didn’t my spell translate it?
Oh yeah. I’m out of manna. Right... Crap! Thank goodness I actually know Equish.
I looked back over at the soldiers boarding the train. I’d always liked Neighponese styled armor. The chained together little hexagonal plates and the back and helmet decoration meant to look like wings or a horn for those who didn’t have them were really cool.
I also liked how each individual got to use a personal coloring for their armor. That was a nice touch. Germane soldiers all wore the same black, and while that is sort of the point of a uniform, the lucky few who are not stark white can look terrible in it.
Also Faust help me but their beam sabers are bucking awesome! Every foal alive wants one, that’s how you know something is cool. Take a sword hilt, attach a high capacity gemstone, and boom, toggleable blade of raw arcane energy!
I should totally steal one!
I blinked and groaned at the stupidity of my own thought and decided to just focus on finding the- Oh there it was! Big red box car with the number 126E written on the side. Huge rather, big didn’t do it justice. You could make this one boxcar into a house. It even hung a half normal boxcar’s width off the side.
As we drew near, I could hear six female voices arguing from the interior.
“Watashi wa anata o itte iru, ryōshi kesshō ga kanetsu shite imasu. Deruta ryōiki wa shinkan suru hojo ijō ga hassei suru mae wareware wa, purazuma-kan o kōsei suru hitsuyō ga arimasu!” ¹ The first voice shouted angrily.
“Purazumaponpu wa dochira ka dōsa shite inainode, soreha, sore o suru koto wa dekimasen!” ² The second shouted back just as angrily.
“Huh… That’s Japanese.” David remarked as he walked up to the door. “Why am I not surprised to hear Japa-”
He sort of froze in the doorway. The argument stopped as well. Everything was quiet for a few long moments as Jade and Light nervously started to back up towards the cart.
“Kon'nichiwa?” ³ A third voice asked from within the car, confusion oozing from every syllable.
“Kon'nichiwa.” David returned, voice equally confused. “Koto wa, kyodai robotto no ponīdesu ka?” ⁴
“Kore wa, meka no sūtsu no ōku wa de.” A fourth voice somehow quietly boomed. It was mechanical, reverberating, and clearly female. “Puri mokushiroku teikoku o kin'itsu medikkusu kotodesu ka?” ⁵
“Īe.” David answered still in his confused and stunned tone, but with a foalish delight started to spread across his face, “Sore wa watashi no furusato no seifukudesu. Chottomatte kudasai.” ⁶
He slowly backed out of the entrance, turned around, broke into the biggest grin ever and practically screeched, “They are building a giant robot! Lily! You booked the car with the giant robot! I need to hug you!”
In the span of half a heartbeat David had covered the six meters between us and wrapped me in a bearhug I didn’t know a unicorn was capable of! I was lifted off the ground! I swore my shoulders dislocated before he even touched me!
A half seconds before I thought my lungs would be squeezed out one of my ends, David let go and cleared his throat. “Sorry… But… Giant robot. I uh… Right… Let’s just look cool and hopefully they will let me touch it.”
“Too late for looking cool, gaijin! We speak Equish.” The mechanical sounding voice giggled.
“Also, she told you it’s a mech suit, not a robot.” The second informed with a giggle.
David’s ears drooped down so far I was actually medically concerned for him. Or I would have been if I weren't trying to get my lungs to inflate.
“Hai,” The first voice said as it’s owner trotted into view from behind the door, “far too late.”
She was a rather short peach blossom pink unicorn mare. Just the one uniform color. Fortunately her elegantly braided mane at least made her shape distinctive, and the white jumpsuit with the rising sun emblem on the back and butterfly symbol on the barrel definitely helped her look less… well ugly. Poor mare just didn’t get any luck in the looks department.
She gave all of us a concerned look and asked, “You booked passage in this car?”
I nodded and tried to speak but only managed to wheeze.
“Yes,” Jade answered giving me a concerned frown, “Are you okay Lily?”
“Hugged… too… hard!” I gasped, finally managing to get my lungs to fill up all the way.
“Sorry… childhood fantasy… and stuff.” David muttered running a hoof through his mane in embarrassment.
You know, he was really cute as a pony! Well, more like handsome. The cute was all from that delighted gleam in his eyes.
“We we’re supposed to have this car to ourselves… Military purposes.” The mare grumbled. “Can you take another train? This train should be full.”
“Well about that…” David said slowly giving her an apologetic look, “It’s sort of massively important that we reach Equestria in the shortest time possible. So no, we kind of need to take this train.”
The pink mare grumbled something in Neighponese.
“Pinku-chan,” The mechanical sounding person called, “Watashi no buki ga hataraite imasu. De sorera o shite mimashou. Karera wa nani o okonau baai, watashi wa chōdo sorera o koroshimasu. Sore wa watashi ga kono chīsana basho ni minogasu koto ga dekinai yōdesu.” ⁷
“Uh, what did she say?” Light asked a nanosecond before I would have.
The mare turned to face back into the car. “Un shikashi, hoka ni wa nani mo sagyō shite imasen!” ⁸ she exclaimed with an absolutely adorable angry hoof stamp!
David cleared his throat, “The mare piloting the actual motherfucking giant robot said to let us on because if we do anything to jeopardize their mission she can just kill us since the car is too small for us to seek cover in.”
“Oh.. Uh… Well.. we could always take another train.” Jade and I said together wearily.
“Don’t worry! If you don’t try to steal Imperial secretes you're completely safe!” Mech-voice promised, “Well, almost. You would be on a train headed for a soon-to-be warzone.”
“Yeah, that’s sort of why we are going.” David said unthinkingly, immediately tail and ears drooping as he realized his error.
The train car shook, a loud mechanical whine accompanied the appearance of a massive butter-yellow hoof shaped armored limb as it pulled the boxcar’s door wide open. A huge metal facsimile of a pony filled the entrance, dragging four limp legs as it pulled itself into view with a loud scrape of metal on metal.
The entire thing looked like someone had taken an alicorn, made it four times bigger, and then built a suit of angular armor that fit skin tight for them to wear. It had a mane and presumably a tail of pale pink glowing fiber optic cables, flat blue glowing eyes, and an expression that somehow looked fierce yet shy.
The ton of armor plating removed revealing a complicated series of techno-arcane circuitry, unaugmented technology, and a glimpse of the pilot’s peach colored left foreleg did absolutely nothing to alleviate the terror At seeing it suddenly consume the entrance.
It’s left shoulder plates slid apart, revealing what looked to be a rotating series of spell-amps rigged up to… oh dear that dull red glow and humming didn’t seem safe…
“Please inform me as to your loyalties for that aforementioned battle.” the huge metal thing boomed.
“Equestria!” Everyone squeaked in unison.
An eternity passed.
“Good. Climb on in.” the massive metal giant said, pushing back into it’s former position with it’s working leg.
I felt my heart start beating again. From the looks on everypony’s face, they did too.
Except for Jade. She nodded, “Thanks! Can you help with our cart?”
I turned to stare at her in disbelief. “Y-you want to ride with that?”
“Sure! She’s on our side, right?” Jade asked giving me a confused look, “Why would I not want her close by if the Swarm attacks the train?”
“I but- that’s a-” I babbled, realizing mid way through that Jade was completely correct, “verdammt gut Punkt tatsächlich…”
“You bet your-” David squeaked. He put a hoof to his muzzle and cleared his throat, “I mean, you bet your ass it is.”
“Hai,” Gigantor called, presumably in answer to Jade, “On'nanoko wa, karera no tame ni karera no kāto o shutoku shimasu.” ⁹
A half second later and our cart was literally swarmed by five mares, each monochromatic, and each the same pink as the first one, and each clad in the same jumpsuit. They didn’t look the same, each had their mane and tail styled differently, and all of them much better looking than the first. It took me longer than I want to admit to realize that they were all dyed the same color and not clones.
The five mares had the cart inside faster than I was able to process their nearly identical coloring. Giving me just enough time for an apprehensive gulp and to hop into the car after everypony else before Light asked “So uh… Why’s your giant death machine look like Fluttershy?”
I slapped a hoof to my face. “How did I not notice that!?” I demanded.
Now that Light mentioned it, it did look like her! I suppose being foreign I could be excused for not having the exact appearance of one of Equestria’s great heroes memorized… Though since she did help save the world about five times…
As soon as I stopped talking the robot’s pilot leaned down to get on Light’s eye level and in the most ironclad zealotous tone imaginable informed, “Furattā-sama saikō no ponīdesu!”
“Hai!” Everypony else exclaimed with equal religiously reverent certainty.
“Uh… For those of us that don’t speak Neighponese?” Light asked with a confused frown.
“Er…” David bit his lip, trying to hold back a laugh and only barely succeeding, “That was ‘Fluttershy is best pony.’”
“Hai!” Every one of the engineers echoed again.
“So uh… You painted it up like that because you all like her?” Jade asked.
I decided to just kind of scoot against the back wall of the train car away from the creepy personality cult.
“She is the most refined, polite, and courteous pony to ever live,” The first mare said reverently, “she has saved every one of us, not just with her Nakama, but also on her own. Twice. Fluttershy is as the proverb of the prefect steel wrapped in the finest silk. Nopony else is more worthy to be enshrined in the form of an A.L.I.C.O.R.N. suit!”
“Hai!” came the five fold echo. “Furattā-sama saikō no ponīdesu!”
“Well… okay then.” David said in the tone of a stallion who decided he could totally wait for the next train.
“Ja… Okay.” I agreed in the same tone.
“Good to know…” Light added, naturally in the same tone of voice.
“That’s pretty cool!” Jade announced with a big grin, “We used to forge armor to look like our heroes too!”
Unfortunately a piercing whistle broke the air, the train car shook, and began to roll out of the station. At a speed which made jumping out of the train seem far too painful. We were going to be trapped in a small space with these crazy ponies for three entire days.
Great…
David - 3rd of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Sunrise
Three days. In a fifteen by forty yard box. With six otakus. Who build and operate a giant robot.
In those three days, I learned many things. First, despite sounding like heaven, hanging out with living anime girls (of any species) is hell. Second, A.L.I.C.O.R.N. was an acronym, but it doesn't translate well. Basically you’d call the thing ‘God-maker powered armor suit’. Which is what the thing did.
Get the control implant installed in your horn, climb on into the belly, and boom, tech enhances your magic to the power level of an Alicorn… At least till the suit runs out of power. Then you have a ton of built in weapons and are kind of just a normal walking tank.
That was awesome!
On the other hand, as someone who learned Japanese, I had literally spent three days listening to constant technobabble as those five crazed fangirls tried to fix the damn thing. All they would say is that something broke while flying in from Neighpone, thus they had to stay behind and fix it because someone forgot to pack spare parts and Quis had some for sale.
That and then constantly bicker and argue about what was wrong and why, all the while never actually fixing the problem.
Which had been a fuze. In the right shoulder. It was plugged in backwards. I’d fixed it to make them shut up. It hadn’t worked… Because they had spent the entire morning thus far yelling at me for not fixing it sooner.
Excuse me for assuming that the trained mechanics wouldn’t notice a misinstalled part!
I envied Jade so much right now. She had shifted her ears away and just power napped through most of the trip so far. At least it would be over in a few more hours. My god, those five literally hadn’t slept for a single fucking minute!
Oh right, three, Neighponese soldiers are magically augmented to only need to sleep for twenty minutes a week. Great plan! How about you keep the most irritating people imaginable out of your mill-
Oh god, that’s why they were relegated to the boxcar wasn’t it?
Three. Fucking. Days. Lily and Light spent the whole time doing their best to zone out and ignore the chaos. Me? No such luck.
Fortunately those five didn’t mind me picking through the spare components they had discarded. Meaning I was able to occupy myself yesterday by building a crude crystal radio. Sure, it was crude by the standards of a crude radio, but with the tech level sitting behind me there would be radio communications, and if we had to cross some badlands, a radio would let us know if anyone was in the area and in what direction they were via the signal getting louder or fainter.
It was a neat little thing, and it fit in my jacket pocket nicely. If it ever crackled, we would know we were headed for civilization. A fact I took great comfort in. Mostly because it meant we would be away from civilization, which at the moment was these god damn incessant mares!
I looked over at the junk pile with a sigh. They were still going at it. I really needed something more to distract me.
There were still a few bits left over. Perhaps I could magnetize one of those bolts and make a compass out of-
My ears stopped working as a dull thud rippled through my body, the train car lurched, jolted up and forward, pitched right, and slammed into the earth. Boxes of parts flew everywhere, bodies tumbled, sparks flew, a dance of chaos accompanied by flashes of light and an eerie ringing.
A steel bar smashed into my chest, pinning me to the wall-now-floor of the car. Sound came roaring back in one ear, the sounds of sizzling energy and panicked screams flooding in more deafening than the ringing still blaring in the other. Twelve holes appeared in a line down the top of the car like someone erased them in photoshop, leaving behind glowing orange rings of steel and thick blue smoke.
My other ear cleared, and the low droning buzzing of a million flying insects filled the space the ringing left behind.
That ruled out a train wreck. The best case scenario had taken a rain-check once more.
The bar pressing into my chest burned. A quick glance down told me there wasn’t any blood, or a real burn. That meant broken ribs. Shit.
I gave the bar a shove with my right arm, biting my lip as moving sent waves of pain through my left side. “Fuck… you… pain!” I grunted as I worked my way out from under the bar.
Now was not the time to cry over broken bits. It was time to de-ass the area.
“Who’s al-” An explosion off to my right cut me off. Something huge and heavy slammed into the ground somewhere off behind me, making a loud thud despite hitting the desert sand.
“Who's alive?” I called again, coughing into my hoof and flinching at the blood specks left behind.
The interior of the car was a disaster. I could see a few limbs, but if anyone was on this side of the mech, they were buried under rubble.
Rubble which shifted and fell as a field of blue light moved upwards.
Lily! She’d managed to shield herself and Light!
“What the buck is ringing?” Lily shouted in confusion.
“Your head!” I shouted back being sure to make my lips exaggerate the sounds, “Where is Jade?”
“Under you.” Jade moaned painfully.
I looked down to find myself standing on top of the poor girl, who was wedged into the corner of wall and floor, upside down, with my hooves pressing into her hip, chest and neck.
I quickly stepped off of her and gently helped her up with a hoof. “Sorry. Can you walk?”
Jade coughed, closed her eyes and shifted the burst of green flames blinding me like a camera flash. “I can now.” Jade said now in her normal floofy body. “I think that body was dying…”
“Okay, good.” I said shaking the thought of a dead Jade out of my head as the sound of some sort of energy bolts began to rip through the air.
“We need to go!” Lily shouted as she dropped her shield. “The Neighponese won't hold the train for long.
“No shit!” I barked, “Grab the book. Light, Jade, get a pony sized hole in this car now! I can’t help, ribs broken.”
“What do you mean, ‘the book’?” The pilot asked, suit shifting slightly as she turned.
“Awesome! You’re alive!” I exclaimed pointing to the wall with a hoof, “Punch a hole in that please.”
“You’re the bait Her Highness mentioned, aren't you?” she asked. This time I could hear the wetness in her voice.
I knew that sound. Most medics did. That was the sound of lungs filling with fluid.
“Hai.” I answered, giving her a sympathetic look.
She shifted, the train car creaking as she moved her hooves beneath herself, then slammed her back into the train car, ripping the steal apart with a deafening shriek. With a mighty heave she threw a huge chunk of the car off into the swirling vortex of changeling’s outside, twisting and firing a pony-sized beam of red light into the Swarm in the same motion.
“Go! If they get you, the trap fails! I will draw fire.” She shouted over the noise. “O-mishiri oki o!
Furattāshai-heika banzai!” ¹⁰
She turned, grabbed another shard of train, and flung it like a discus into the swirling masses, two panels in the forearms sliding open to spew a torrent of white hot flames. She got another three shots off before vanishing into the wall of spellbolts and changelings.
The world outside looked like the sky was made of blue eyed changelings. The air smelled of burnt meat and sulfur. Even with that suit, she couldn’t buy much time.
“Go go go!” I screamed, waving towards a large sand dune in the distance. “Beeline, that dune. Move it!”
They didn’t need to be told twice. Lilly and Light bolted, blurring together as they shot by. Jade gripped me in her magic and lifted me onto her back, “You broke something right?” she asked as she started to run as well, holding me tightly to her with her green aura.
“Thank you.” I grunted, deciding to not tell her that her hard carapace slamming into my ribs as she ran was the third worst pain ever.
A wall of green light erupted from the ground! Lily slammed nose first into it, jerking left and sliding down. Light barely skidded to a stop, nose kissing the crackling barrier. Jade spun, nearly throwing me from her back. The barrier surrounded us on all sides.
Everything grew deathly quiet. Even the buzzing of the Swarm stopped as they landed in mass, forming a solid ring around the barrier. I could see the train in the distance, nothing was moving except wind, smoke, and sand.
Lily pushed herself up, groaning, and then yelping as she put weight on her left foreleg, falling back over. The changelings to my left took one step right or left, forming a corridor as-
“Well… we're boned.” I muttered.
She walked up the changeling corridor like a Gestapo officer. Mechanical, calculated, and oozing a hatred for everything alive. Her carapace was blackened with scorch marks, but still shone like obsidian. Her legs had holes clean through them which could only bring to mind a rotting apple. Her silky green mane and tail fluttered like moth-eaten linen. Her wings like tattered spider webs.
It not for the piercing, hare filled, burning emerald eyes, she would have looked like a walking corpse. But those horrible eyes made her look as if it were you who were dead, as if your body were the one damaged and crumbling. Her eyes showed you her intentions.
She walked up to the edge of the barrier, and looked at us the same way my roomie used to look at the feed mice for his snake. “You have two options,” The Demon Queen announced, “give me Clover’s spellbook and die quickly, or I take it from your desiccated corpses.”
“Lily,” I said as calmly as I could manage, “Burn it.”
Chrysalis's eyes blazed green, the glow blocking out the snake-like orbs entirely. I felt my entire body stiffen up, like every single muscle cramped at the same time. My ribs ripped into the inside of my chest. I wanted to scream, but not a single part of me would move.
“So be it.” Chrysalis laughed. “Let me see… How to appropriately punish you for your defiance?”
She paced the outside of the barrier, vanishing from my sight as my eyes refused to turn.
“Ah! I see. You’re a stray from my Swarm.” Chrysalis's giggled “This will be delightful.”
“Not… a… changeling.” Light growled angrily between breaths.
“I do so love the way you’ve broken yourself, what is it? Ah yes, One of Thirty, Primary Shock Trooper of Assault Flight Gamma.” Chrysalis's cooed in the manner of a child plucking the wings from a fly.
Oh…
“I’m not a changeling!” Light screamed, panic shattering her voice on the last word.
“Return.” Chrysalis's ordered.
The sharp woosh of changeling fire. Light instantly shrieked in pure terror. “I’m not a changeling! “I’m not change! I’lin ch! N-n-n-n. Ch!”
The sound of something hitting the sand, light scraping, and Light’s gurgled attempts at speech broke me in a way the war never had. I willed myself to move with every fiber in my being. I willed myself to jump up, smash through the fucking force field and rip that insect’s head off and shit down her neck!
I couldn’t even blink.
Chrysalis's inhaled, and giggled, “Ah! Such a sweet flavor! I hope you recover, my delicious little mistake. Horror is so much better three days later.”
She walked back into view, eyes still burning, lines of green magic slowly knitting the holes in her wings shut. “Now then… What to do about a little nymph who thinks she can look all nice and pretty just because she got enough love growing up? A simple spellbolt through your hearts? Yes you would like that wouldn’t you? Save me from going through the train car by car, hand my the book, and you’ll die with some measure of dignity intact.”
I thought for an instant she would let us speak. Instead she let us stay there paralyzed for a full two minutes.
“So stubborn!” Chrysalis cackled, “Very well then… you love that thing on your back don’t you? Aw! He returns your feelings! How very… fairy tale. It’s just too bad our happily ever after will have to come after I have you eat your love alive, deaf to his screams, until he’s all gone and you’re nothing but a gibbering fool. To horrified by your own actions to even think for yourself ever again. Mothers wish they could make a child eat like I can.”
I swore I felt Jade’s terror. Faintly, for the briefest of moments, but there nonetheless.
No! I refuse to let her do that to you! I will move! Kill!
Nothing. Not even a tail twitch.
“Still… that wouldn’t be quite enough torment for him now would it? Eaten? Quite merciful don’t you think? It’s a shame you don't just give me that book. A few pages and some ink, but no, you sit there. You might even say you’re… paralyzed! Ha ha ha!” Chrysalis laughed, rearing up for a second to finish her laugh.
“Oh yes… Your little mage friend.” She mused. “I can feel your greatest desire colt. It runs so hot through your mind it’s a wonder the mutt in pony’s clothing can’t feel it. A lover’s touch, care and affection. Oh you poor dear! I think I have just the thing for you. My Swarm is a little hungry after all this pest control, I’m sure you don't mind them using you to get a little snack now would you?”
Chrysalis's paused for just long enough for me to realize what she meant.
“Well, I hear no objections. You heard it my Soldiers! No objections. As soon as this barrier falls feel free to take your turns until it’s nothing more than a twitching pile of flesh and fluids. Oh, and lifeless of course.” Chrysalis's ordered coyly.
You unbelievable monster! Absolute, unbelievable, monster!
A loud sizzling sound came from over my left shoulder. Chrysalis's head snapped to face it, horn glowing with arcane fire!
“Get away from her you bitch!” Dusk demanded.
Dusk - 3rd of Solarus ‘15 EoH - Sunrise
Buck the rules! Buck the consequences! My friend was not going to be raped to death!
I ripped a path to the mortal world, sending a burst of energy before me, vaporizing a hole in the ordered ranks of Soldiers. My avatar’s fur singed from the heat of my full power radiating from it's core! I didn’t give a flying buck if I burst into flames. She. Dies. Now!
“Get away from her you bitch!” I demanded, gritting my teeth.
Chrysalis's spun, horn blazing, teeth gritted in a furious deathly grin. A grin which softened as she saw me. “Oh yes, he said you would show up eventually. Die.”
Her horn flashed. Something popped. My hindquarters fell to the ground.
I felt something wet beneath… Oh… No, my chest fell to the ground. My hind quarters did not exist.
That was find I’d just create a new-
“Oh…” I said to myself as I realized I had been pinned to my Avatar’s form entirely.
This half a pony bleeding out in the sands was me. Not a construct I controlled. Me. He’d manipulated me into putting too much of myself into it! That’s how he figured he could kill me! Bucking brilliant.
“Odd…” Chrysalis's frowned. “That should have exploded all of you. No matter, let me just try again.”
I had seconds. My powers were limited. I was going to die. But my friends were not. I could help them at least.
I pushed at reality with the last drop of my power, breaking them free of Chrysalis's control, and throwing them a few hundred kilometers north. I couldn’t feel where they went, but it was out of her reach for now.
“They got away.” I said, giving the bitch a smug grin. “You’ve lost.”
“For the moment.” Chrysalis's agreed in a eerily calm tone. “But how many can say they killed a god?”
Ah so that was it. Not her plan, but the feeling of dying. I’d always wondered. It wasn't bad. Sort of like sitting into a lukewarm bath.
It would definitely feel nicer if I could go wiping that smug grin of her face. Maybe if I spoiled her fun? Nah, screw it. It’s my death, may as well cross one more item of the list of lines I’d always wanted to use.
“If you strike me down,” I lied, “I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.”
“Silly god.” Chrysalis's giggled, “I can imagine powerless!”
Her horn fla-
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*Sits back with popcorn and waits for the comment shitstorm to hit*
i.imgur.com/V1EAYvv.png
6777405 I 120% expected a "First!" outta you.
6777423 I have never first'ed anything in my life, why would I start now? Now beating out firster's with clever comments just to be smug about it? Now that, that is something I would do.
Huh, I didn't expect that, although her death isn't confirmed yet...
This is one of the top reasons I hate magic, if you have none, they restrain you, then you are powerless.
david better bonesaw that pike off her smug face.
Now what's life going to throw at them?
6777457 You could describe Dusk as the Queen of the Dead. Now that I've pointed that out, read the title.
sorry the tech level of the Neiphon really hurt this story for me. I just can't accept that level at this current time since the Mane 6 are still around. First real major flag for me.
6777462 It's meant to be more like this orig00.deviantart.net/3e3b/f/2013/034/d/9/iron_golem_by_dleoblack-d5tppz6.jpg
and less like this orig09.deviantart.net/f973/f/2012/252/a/0/battle_mech___highlanders_rifleman_by_shimmering_sword-d5e5kfm.jpg
The cannon Equestria has a floating city. It's pretty clear they work magic into their technology. I can see otehr nations having a greater thirst for technological progress than Equestria ( who seem pretty nature-lovey).
6777461 so it's all just 'scare tactics'?
6777473 No I mean she's dead.
6777481 well shit
6777457 The real question is, where did death throw them?
Spoilers
6777491 wrong dimension? Manehatten? Her home? Celestias bathtub?!
I await impatiently.
nooo! not dusk!
you evil author!
6777527 her death here is not as bad as her death in the other timeline. So at least there's that. I hope you stick around to see if her plan works postmortem.
6777505 uh... A few hundred km north...
Do gods get an afterlife? :D
6777583 That detective, is the right question.
BAHAHAHHAHAH!
I looked up the translations.
6777703 I'm glad you liked it ^.^
6777481 FUUUU
K!!!
6777776 weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/shit-just-got-real.jpeg
I....see....
Chrysalis' death had better not be quick. And Dawn's destruction needs to come with a huge serving of humiliation and disempowerment.
6777790
So when does this get listed with a tragedy tag?
6777809 Yup. That's why there's going to be a sequel to deal with him.
6777818 Do you think that makes it warrant one? I'll tag it if people think I needs it.
6777839
Tragedy and possibly gore for some of the earlier scenes. Main characters dying in horrible and sudden ways are definitely under the tragedy label. Heck the genocide of an entire hive probably counts. I've seen gore listed for a lot less than what's occurred in that bar fight where a griffin got splattered all over the walls.
6777851 Gore isn't listed? It's supposed to be listed... I even mention the gore tag int he short description being there due to combat description. Let me just fix that. As for tragedy... Dose the sight define it differently than "a form of drama based on human suffering that invokes an accompanying catharsis or pleasure in audiences." Because species aside this story is not that.
6777864 I'm beginning to think think that a lot of authors here don't use that definition for how place the tragedy tag on this site. But that definition is fine if that is what you'd like to go by. That sounds like the traditional literary definition used in writing. The writers here seem to place it in a more literal fashion. More of do tragic events occur in the story. In many stories here no accompanying catharsis or pleasure in audiences is ever invoked and could probably just be listed as dark in that case. I think "Dark" and "Tragic" may get confused by writers more than a bit on this site. That's one of the reasons I try to stay away from Tragedy stories on this site. They tend to end like Greek tragedies with everyone dying at the end.
6777887 That seems likely. Not everyone minored in creative writing in college like I did. I assure you, I am not writing a Tragedy, nor is this meant to be an over all sad story. I am writing a... Dark Science-Fantasy Adventure in the tones and theme s of the old TSR published Dungeons and Dragons Novels. Particularly those by Ed Greenwood (He's a personal hero of mine).
If you know those stories formula, you'll understand instantly. If you dont well... Not quite a spoiler, just how the plot's formula works The type of story I am emulating is meant to blend light and fun moments to get you attached to the characters. This is because any of them can (but wont necessarily) die, as the one(s) who die serve to remind the audience of the dangers in the world, and to spur the remaining characters into action. The key is to keep the audience on their seat during the dangerous moments by having them truly love the heroes in order to get them more attached to those hero, see positive feedback loop. The story will have twists, turns, never shy away from grim reality, but always deliver enough levity to keep things from being too dark (but timed so that the darkness still matters and the world feels real and dangerous when/where it should). The story will end with the surviving characters (generally most) having resolution for the story's events, see them achieve a goal or two, and have what could be their happily ever after... Until the sequel.
6777596
No. The questions are:
1. If she was going to screw the rules and be in deep shit either way, why didn't she kill Chrystalis directly?
2. Since she died as a result of taking mortal form, what's the new death going to do to her?
3. How will killing off her jerk brother affect things he screwed up while he had her powers?
4. Did the rogue changeling get mind-broken, and did she send her with the others?
6777942
She was going to. Her kind needs an Avatar with range to interact with three-dimensional objects. She also only abandoned her plans and the rules due to the emotional response she experienced when Lily was threatened (See the opening lines of her section. That's not someone thinking logically, but emotionally.). A move Dawn realized she would make instinctively and thus caused to occur, in order to draw her into a vulnerable position.
That's exactly the sort of question I am happy my fans ask :)
Not at all. At least, not unless someone reverses them after he's dead. That's easily done.
She was sent along with the others, but as for her health, you'll have to wait and see.
The force is strong with this one.
(also best death line)
Now to see just how much fecal matter hits the industrial air circulation device.
6777465 still feels too soon for that kind of thing. I grant that some place would be a bit ahead but that much just feels pushing it for me.
6778113
Nothing. Even though Dawn planned this whole thing as a means to murder his sister, none of the other outsiders are going to do anything about it because they are not aware of him having broken any rules.
In D&D terms, it's a Lawful Stupid society.
6777913 Ed has some damn good books.
Welp, that's a thing 0_o I guess Life's involvement was much more personal than I realized. For some reason I thought he was taking a somewhat-distant approach same as Dusk, but here it sounds like the bastard is actually balls-deep into it and is delivering advice/information to Chrysalis directly. And teaching her spells. The freak needs to die a a thousand deaths via poisonous, flaming scorpions! While on fire!
I do wonder what the lashback is going to be for our schemer - he might have succeeded in killing Dusk (even if I don't believe she is truly gone - the biggest twist at this point you could pull off is actually making her dead and gone
As these things usually go I expect her to pop up in afterlife or get reincarnated in mortal form or something like that) and I can't imagine that going over well with mommy and daddy. I have a feeling somebody might be in for the spanking of his lifetime and then some!
And then there is the question who will become the new Death. We know Life assumed he would get her powers but what does he really base that assumption on? From the sounds of it this is the first time a god has been actually truly killed so there is no real way to know and it might just be Life's arrogant assumption he will simply get to "take" the powers of Death. Someone else might simply ascend to take her place instead of him getting to eat his cake.
At least she succeeded in getting the party out of there - I assume they won't have made it to the border just yet but at least it should be closer. And assuming the Neighponese squad radioed the situation in before they went down that means the Equestrian army will probably be surging forward south in an attempt to reach the battle. If queen bitch ends up chasing Jade and co she might catch up just in time to have the army arrive and for the brawl of the millennium to begin!
On the flipside for Jade and co they probably won't assume Dusk is fully dead just yet so that shouldn't weight them down too much. I imagine they'd assume she can just rezz herself or something given a bit of time. You don't really expect Death to simply up and die even if her avatar gets "killed" :P
And awww we didn't get to have Dave's "being a Pony 101" conversation :/ A shame you didn't get to squeeze that in at the start of the chapter during their three day train ride. Oh well at least he got to suffer three days of close proximity with fluttershy fangirls jabbbering on in japanese
You almost had me howling with laughter at Dave's realization the rest of the squad might have just dumped them there because of how annoying they were!
I knew there was something fishy about that squad taking the train and having to buy parts locally
I bet the others simply plugged that wire in backwards so they would have an excuse to dump them in Zebrica and hide all the supplies! It had to be an act of sabotage considering they actually got on the ship without any problems in the first place - reverse switch doesn't happen on his own 
But man do you have me here rubbing hands and jumping with glee - this was BIG and the next chapter will probably also be BIG! Dusk's ultimate fate, how/if Life gets away with it and how the other gods and mommy and daddy respond, the epic clash that draws closer - I can hardly wait
Wow. Things got dark very quickly. I would like to see what happens next for Dusk.
6778135 Hate to be the harbinger of more bad news for ya, but encase you forgot. The Emerald Hive...
6778135 If I had the room to exposite about the nation in the chapter. I would have. But since I didn't... Would it help you to know they weren't starting from scratch and also have a damn good reason for advancing tech as quickly as possible? In the middle of the Great War Neighpone was hit by a WMD which unleashed a storm of Chaos magic. The whole surface is infested with monsters, and that includes Kaiju. Inorder to save themselves, the people retreated underground into large shelters. While these shelters were being expanded they dug up the decaying remains of a crashed ship (There have been 3 alien craft discovered thus far. Not unusual for a setting in a larger univerce than one planet I might ad), and while it was in bad shape they did learn a few things from it.That was 160 years ago or about half of a pony's life expectancy in my AU.
A.l.I.C.O.R.N. Suits have existed for about 40 years, and are basically 60% magically operated since the advanced microcomputers needed to control one were not revere engineered (hence why they are piloted and require a unicorn). The whole point to them is a means to keep the monsters at bay, and to slowly clear the country's surface as the shelters are rather full now.
Also, remember, this story is set a decade after the events of the show (15 EoH). A LOT can change in a decade, and canon ponies are consistently showing tech comparable to modernish stuff. Just look at 2000 and 2010.
6778113 I figured Death needed a death line referencing death.
6778286 You nailed it exactly! You have a NE (smart) outsider living among LG (dumb) ones. As long as he can make something look like an accident, he can get away with it. Thing is, to do that requires quite a bit of set up...
6778308 He does, and I hope to one day be able to write even a tenth as good as him.
6778420
Mmmmmhm. Dawn docent fuck around He will hide his activities, but he will also make sure that they succeed by stacking the deck in his favor.
The Tropes are strong with you... but you are not an author yet. (Also that's only the fith biggest twist I could pull off.)
He would be if he wasn't grieving with them at the moment and putting on a show of "horrible accident". Psychopaths are very good at faking emotions. God damn Karma Houdinis.
That detective, is a line I am realy over using these days.
Additionally it's entirely possible that the powers go nowhere and souls now just kind of pile up. It's also possible that the power returns to the god's own creator and he gets PISSED.
You'll know pretty soon. They are not in Zebrica anymore, I'll say that much. But also not Equestria. There's a micro-nation on the Equestrian-Zebrican border in the badlands that everypony here seems to have forgotten about... Except Popmann.
Nope. That took place in about 33 seconds. The Swarm was laying in ambush up the railline.
Oh she will. She's gone full Twilight mode on that book!
It exists, it just made the chapter too long, so I cut it.
I figured we needed some crazed fangirls :)
Dawn of the first day. 72 hours remain.
6778469 Fear not, the story's ending won't disappoint.
6779461 Yay!
6779455
I guess he is more cunning than I was giving him credit for. Or more reckless. Whichever the situation counts as. Maybe both :P
Well, they are tropes for a reason :P I wouldn't call it a pleasant surprise considering how quirky Dusk was as a character, but it certainly would be A surprise if she's gone for good and we never see her again in any way, shape or form :P
I don't know if I should be impressed with Dawn for pulling that off if he succeeds or disappointed with the parents if they fail to catch on. But then again Creativity seemed pretty goofy when we saw her, so eh ... dysfunctional family all around?
Yeah I was thinking that if nothing else then at least the big man himself should know. But then again this is all basically a big experiment for him like you have said, so he's also a bastard who won't do anything. And since you said Life's the big bad of the next story we know he isn't about to be incinerated or anything.
A shame, fire sounds good right about now. Lots of fire.
Hrmmm .... I could swear I don't see one while looking at the story map
We have two options here! Either I'm going selectively blind (you can never know!) or the map is from the future where no micro-nations exist between Zebrica and Equestria after the Swarm and the Equestrian army are done fighting there :P
Unless you mean the emerald hive?
Bah, sloppy I say! Should have done that before marching into the last stand! Hm ... I guess Dave's makeshift radio thing isn't worth much?
I wonder if she will have to contend with actual Twilight going Twilight mode on that book
That makes Fluttershy sad
There is no such thing as a too long chapter!
I would gladly read them if they were thrice as long! 
6779371 Still not in favor for it but it's not story killing
6779542
Yes, he's quite reckoning. :D
Yet I am convinced that 80% of my readers haven't even heard that word before >.>
Huh. Awesome! I created positive ambiguity in my fiction! HUZZAH! /me checks an item off her "become good at this shit" list. Oh and yes, quite dysfunctional. I mean the dad is literally conflict.
No not next story in this sequence, but the overarching story. THe next will be some slice of life and stuff. But the next ADVENTURE story will focus there.
Fire's not good enough. You'll want some chlorine trifloride.
It's got a whole book and an additional half of a book :P Thing is though, it wouldn't be on the map because it's population is small, and it's very much an isolationist community, thus politically unimportant due to refusing to play.
bingo. They have a 200 km diameter zone of sovereignty. Which has been kept off of maps via bribes because paranoia.
It docent surprise me that you have not heard of crystal radios, ak cat's whiskers. They have been obsolete since about 1870... They are non-powered radio receivers, the simplest possible receiver in fact. They get their power from the actual broadcast itself meaning they don't pick up faint signals at all. They also can't be tuned, and pick up ALL signals so you cant selectively block anything they are picking up to focus on something else. In modern terms the tech is less a radio, and more of a "radio transmission detector".
I can only answer that with this. https://youtu.be/qzVBqBosf5w?t=1m
I may post it as a side story. I have a word maximum for chapters, because back in my early days I would do 10k+ word chapters and well... most people wont read that.
6779382
Except it probably only looks like an accident if nobody bothers to look at it. Dusk mentioned how he was deeply involved with the swarm, but was very careful not to technically break any of the rules. Creativity will look VERY closely into it, particularly since Dusk had apparently spoken to her about him before, and will quite easily discern that Dawn was intimately involved and intentionally set a trap to kill his sister, but she will also be restricted by the rules.
The smart bet would be on Creativity being the primary mover against Dawn once that story arc starts, as she's a consummate mastermind by definition.
Huh, so Lily is basically a mad scientist. Well, at least he uses his powers for good.
A mech suit? Neat.
Oooo, and they're intentionally headed towards the upcoming battle? That's even better than them coincidentally going there.
Now that is very anime.
A giant Fluttershy mech suit? Even better.
Wow, yeah, no kidding.
Very cool.
Uh oh.
Double uh oh.
Oh crap, so much for the pony anime girls.
Damn. They never should have taken Light into this, and they really should have known that. To much of a chance of running into Chrysalis even if that wasn't the plan being orchestrated by Dawn.
Oh crap, Dusk! There's no way that interfering won't break all of the rules!
Wait, never mind, guess she won't have to worry about that. Yeah, this whole thing was Dawn's plan all along, wasn't it? I really hope Dawn isn't dead and gone as in "completely out of the story as a character" dead and gone.