23 Landfall and Air Mail
David - 22th of Plantation '15 EoH - Sunrise
I was not having a good morning. Apparently, a ship of some kind from Neighpone was spotted, so rather than risk combat by entering Quis’s harbor the Night Jewel would be sailing back out to sea. Which meant we would be going ashore in a small, squarish landing boat. As this was a pirate vessel, the boat was designed for landing troops, and in fact a true landing craft.
On it’s own that would have been fine. I can put up with a small boat. Especially one with a nifty little magitec motor.
Add to a cramped landing craft the wee hours of the morning. The sun just barely glowing on the horizon like a huge bonfire hidden behind a hill. Still not bad, dawn has to come some time.
But when you mix in clouds like a woolen blanket covering every inch of sky, rough choppy water that seems to want to nutcheck the goddamn boat, a thick batch of fog on loan from Silent Hill, and a jerk drinking the last of the coffee before I could get a cup, you get a near perfect replica of my worst morning ever. It was even six fucking thirty in the morning.
Azur, or Lilly, whichever, deciding to have an entire conversation with his buddy in German was not helping at all.
“Die energieübertragung muss genau vierzig megajoule pro sekunde sein?” Lilly asked, taking notes in a small booklet. Working in some last minute tips or some shit.
“Ja,” what’s-his-face answered, “und sicher sein, um die Matrix korrekt polarisierten zu halten, oder es wird explosionsartig zusammenbrechen.”
My ears flattened as a loud thud echoed across the harbor. Oh god… Why!? And also what!?
“You okay there, David?” Glowing asked.
I had no idea why she was here, but thank god for it!
“Just… old memories… What the hell was that boom?” I asked, flinching as I expected more.
“Well, Captain said there was a Neighponese ship nearby, so that was probably it landing. They weigh a ton after all.” she replied simply.
“Eine sekunde,” Lily said turning to face me for a moment, “Ja, sie are pretty loud landing. I remember hearing it the first time too.”
“Hold on, land?” I asked raising an eyebrow.
“Yep. I think they said it was a Arubion Class, so that’s…” Glowing frowned and bit her lip for a moment, “Around twenty thousand tons of airship that just dropped a few inches.”
“Oh.” I nodded slightly, that would definitely explain the sou- “Wait, airship?”
“Yeah, big three ballooned ones. Got the steel platform bodies. Beat the hell out of Equestrian ships, but that’s Neighpone for you. If it’s shiny and whirs they build it religiously.” Glowing giggled.
“Airship, as in, a large lighter than air flying machine?” I asked, mind kinda reeling from that blow.
“Yeah. What other kind is there?” Glowing asked giving me a weird look. A look that suggested she hadn’t just told me that there were goddamn commercial flying craft in this world!
Lily snickered and broke off her conversation again, “He’s been in Stalliongrad this whole time.”
Glowing paused, looked up at me, grinned and shuffled her forehooves, “And he’s sailing to Quis!”
“Ja!” Lily snickered.
Getting mad at being the but of a joke I gave Glowing an irritated glare, “Oh yeah, well, why are you here anyways?”
“I only signed on for one mission. I’m going home.” She answered casually. “Needed a few extra bits… My wife’s sick. Not like, dying sick, but well… Expenses and things.”
“Was? I thought Equestria had free healthcare.” Lily asked in surprise, his mentor nodding in agreement.
“That is what I heard as well.” He objected.
“Eh, it’s only partially true.” Glowing said with a shrug. “Get a bad cut on your leg? No problem, cured and sent home. Break a leg, same deal. Lose a leg, and the Gaians will make you a shiny new one. But if you get something weird and keep needing care, like say, cancer… You need to pay what the Kingdom can’t. It’s free to a point.
“She’s got some kind of genetic thing, so I figured a five hundred thousand bit payday would set us up for two years and was worth the four months at sea.”
“Ah, that makes sense.” what’s-his-face said turning back to face Lily before adding, “My condolences. Wie auch immer, zurück zu dem, was ich sagen wollte.”
“Richtig, etwas über den sekundär Zauber-Matrix?” Lily asked, indicating their conversation had resumed.
“I’m sorry your wife is ill… Do you know what it is?” I asked in genuine concern.
“No offense, but if the best healers available don't know what it is, I doubt a Stalliongradian surgeon will be of help.” Glowing said in an apologetic tone.
I felt my tail droop sadly. “Er-”
“Oh he’s way better than them!” Jade said, hopping off the top of the cart to stand beside me.
At the moment she was in her favored red pegasus shape. The one she had used back at Capsan.
Yeah! Way to go bug-girl! Stand up for your friend slash meatshield!
“You saw me out of pegasi form before, right?” Jade asked, “You know that lighter patch of chitin on my barrel? Two crossbow bolts. He fixed me up with like… A literal piece of moldy bread and a metal plate.”
Glowing’s head tilted to one side, “You’re from Stalliongrad and you know about penicillin?”
“Yes I know about penicillin.” I said suspiciously, “How do you know about penicillin?”
Glowing fluffed her wings slightly, almost like when a bird flicks its wings. That was a weird sort of movement as far as I knew. I’d never seen a pegasi do that, and sure Glowing was a batpony, but the differences seemed cosmetic at best.
“Alright, so you’re better than the bloodletting leech users I know for a fact exist… But still, she’s got something there have only been twelve confirmed cases of… and the spells and medicines are more expensive than our combined medical care allotments. So while I appreciate the offer, I think it’s out of your hooves er-hands.” Glowing apologized.
“Apology accepted.” I grunted.
Jade nodded, a small smile forming on her lips before she looked at everyone with a confused expression, “Uh, are none of you feeling all dizzy and stuff?”
“No. I have my sea legs.” I answered, with similar responses from everyone else.
The water wasn’t that bad.
“Huh… Okay. Just me then.” Jade shrugged and flapped back up to her favorite perch.
“My turn for a question,” Glowing declared as Jade landed, “What memories are so bad that you’re acting like you’re sailing right into a hoard of angry Griffons?”
I flinched, visibly tensing my muscles at her rather apt metaphor.
“He’s a veteran.” Jade said quietly. “I don’t know everything, but he did do a thing where his people attacked a beach.”
“Yeah. The boat, weather, language… It’s all pretty similar.” I grunted, “It would be nice if you didn’t remind me of it.”
“Oh… Sorry.” her ears drooped, the tufts on the end making a little whooshing noise from the sheer speed.
I wanted to laugh at that, but I was just too stressed out. As well as weirded out by the fact that apparently there were airships. Though I suppose given magitec pumps and boat props, a zeppelin or two wasn’t out of the question.
“Hey, you know what will take your mind off of things?” Lightstride said, speaking up from out of view behind the cart. “Look right below the rising sun. Quis is right under it, and once Celestia gets it a few more degrees up there, the fog will thin out. Always happens with the fog here. You won’t want to miss it.”
This seemed like a good idea. Not only would seeing a not burning city relive the djavu, but given what everyone was saying… I was getting the distinct impression that I had horribly misjudged the world I found myself in today. In which case, I was probably screwed for getting to have some nice place to spend my days in.
In a medieval world, my knowledge of medicine, construction techniques, and all the general handyman things would make me invaluable. I knew calculus and modern construction methods, as well as how to make quality cement. Plop me down into 1500’s Europe and I’d have a job as a master architect in months tops.
Everything I had seen, done, heard, and lived thus far had shown me a world that was just about ready for the iron age to start cranking out inexpensive steel. The magitec on the Night Jewel had been neat, but all simple machines working complexly to do specific things. A natural evolution of technology in a world with magic.
But put me in a time closer to my own… I would be nothing. Just another standard unit of the machine, only one without any connections to get him into a working position. That’s the paradox of a modern education, we all know so much more than even a King could have afforded to learn, but it takes connections, luck, and hard work to get more than subsistence from life.
I didn’t want that again. I’d had enough of that in my old life. Hopefully the sunrise would show me something I could work with.
I turned my head forward and stared at the orange glowing dot behind the wall of fog as it slowly rose through the air. Ever so slowly I could start to make out shapes in the fog as the sun’s warmth evaporated the gray blanket. First a general blur, then one or two silhouettes of larger structures.
“Okay,” Light said slowly,”you can see the pyramid, kinda, so three… two… one…”
The sun suddenly flared brightly, going from orange to warm yellow almost instantly as it rose above the fog bank. Immediately the entire city shone like a spot lamp had been flipped on. I could see everything! A dozen huge whitish-tan pyramids decorated in sheets of glass in a fashion resembling a modern skyscraper consumed the horizon. The space between them was filled with smaller square towers, each of which was festooned with decorative architecture like spires, arches, and what looked like statues.
If that wasn’t impressive enough, the entire goddamn city was wreathed in green, and not in terms of painted buildings. There were plants everywhere. Hedges decorated the tops stone half-walls, trees grew on balconies, flowers were every-fucking-where. In every spot possible, plant life joined architecture to make one complete unit.
Quis was a modern architectural take on the goddamn hanging gardens of Babylon. It was beautiful. Not in the sense of the city held the quality of possessing beauty. Quis defined what beauty was. It was beauty.
I felt a hoof push my jaw up.
“You were drooling.” Glowing said with a grin.
“Its… But… There’s… How?! Who?!” I demanded incoherently, not breaking eye contact with the closest thing to a modern utopia as built by Tolkien elves.
“Zebras like their stuff to look nice.” Light answered. “Hay, you saw the Night Jewel. Not everyzebra can afford gold and silver, but a few flowers and some glass are cheap and can look great.”
“No! The… This is… New York City is as fucking hard to build as tinker-toys and lincoln logs compared to this! How do you even build something like-” I stopped mid sentence, wide eyed awe shifting to underwhelmed irritation at my own obliviousness without a clutch, “-They used magic didn’t they?”
“Yep.” Everyone said at once. Even the until now silent crewman who was just sailing the boat.
God dammit… Stupid magic. Taking the wonder out of everything. Unless…
“How and what magic?” I asked hopefully.
“Uh… Alchemy probably?” Lily ask-stated.
Yes! Wonder resto-
Oh god fucking dammit! The world was equivalent to the modern day… Shit.
“Oh hey!” Jade exclaimed excitedly, “Can you guys smell lemons? We should get some of those! I’ve always wanted to try one!”
I sniffed the air, no lemons to be whiffed.
“Nein, but maybe you have a better nose than me.” Lily commented.
“We can get you a lemon. Assuming the coins we have work as money here…” I grumbled. “Or that anyone’s even interested in my scrap…”
“Oh no worries! I got that all worked out.” Light commented as the boat approached a small dock. “The Captain gave me some traveling funds for everyone, but it’s not too much. We can probably sell off your scrap at a local antiques dealer or to a cultural museum for a good chunk of change, and that bag of gold is just as valuable here as it is there. All said, if we spend a day in Quis, we can probably get train tickets to-”
“You have trains?” I asked, ears falling.
“Yeah… There’s no Equestria-Zebrica rout though. The rail would have to go through the Badlands, too much sand, too many Tatzlwurms.” Glowing commented.
“We could maybe get a ship to take us.” Lily mused.
Light shook her head. “Nah, not enough bits for that. Too many people. Same goes for air passage. But we should be able to afford a train, assuming you can ditch most of that junk, David.”
I sighed. “Yeah… I can. It’s useless now isn’t it?”
Jade frowned and shifted atop the cart to face me, “Hey… What’s wrong?”
“Nothing important… Just how the world works. Can’t do more but keep truckin.” I grunted. “Right… Let’s get you to Equestria. I can worry about me after that.”
I had to stay focused, I had a mission, save the bug-girl from the Evil Griffons, who presumably could have been fielding modern weapons but didn’t… The hell was that about? In fact…
“I need to know…” I asked giving everyone a long look, “How the flying fuck does a nation stay as far behind the rest of the world as Stalliongrad apparently has?”
“It’s poor hell and ruled by idiots.” Lily said bitterly.
“Yep.” Glowing agreed, “It has literally nothing to export besides trees, and everyone has plenty of trees. It can’t feed its own people because it’s either super thick forest or swamp so making farmland is almost impossible.”
“And,” Light finished, “the last 3 Kings have refused other nation’s aid on a matter of family pride and honor. So, nothing to trade to get money to buy things others make, and no way to improve themselves because everyone has to work farms to get enough food made, and it’s run by plotholes.”
“Wait, by what?” I asked raising an eyebrow.
“Plotholes.” Light said raising an eyebrow herself. “You know, anuses, rectums, things shit come from.”
“Oh! Sorry… The terminology is close to something in my own language.”
“Ah. Gotcha.” She chuckled.
The boat bumped up against the wood rim of what looked to be a white marble dock expressly for smaller boats. Immediately six Zebras dressed in glossy black breastplates with green cloaks embroidered with white tribal patterns lined up on the dock above the boat.
I couldn’t help but notice each of them had a crossbow, and some kind of blade tucked under their cloaks. A small voice in the back of my mind demanded I draw my knife and shout ‘enguard’ just to finally get to see how the fuck a pony used a sword. While it had been bothering me for years, I managed to make the voice go away.
“Hail travelers! What business have you upon our shores?” A shorter female with more cloak embroidery than the others called in an odd bardic sort of rhythm.
“Hail the watch! These five seek travel through your fair lands, bound for Equestria.” The crewman who had sailed us here called, in what I realized was a ritualized sort of customs check.
Holy shit! Ritualized customs. Maybe the culture was different enough for me to succeed here!
“From where are you bound, and what cargo do you carry?” The watchmare asked, in the same tone and cadence.
“These folk come by way of Stalliongrad, and bear a cargo of medicine and salvage.” The crewman answered.
“Let us see into the hold, that we may know if truth was told.” the watchmare finished.
It was pretty cool of the Zebras to unload my cart for me. Even better was they didn’t completely disregard how I had packed things, one of them kept a list of what was found in the cart and where. It was a nice highly professional-
Oh shit! I also had-
“Who is the owner of this cart?” the head watchmare asked, a grim expression on her face.
-explosive ordnance in the cart...
I sighed and stood up as straight as I could, doing my best to remember a how to do a military bearing. “It is mine Ma’am, as are all but six of the bags.”
I couldn’t help but get a small sense of satisfaction at the surprised look which passed over the Zebra’s face as I spoke coherently.
“Do you care to explain the presence of explosives in your wagon, sir?” She asks slowly, the other Zebras slowly circling to enclose the area.
“My apologies ma’am, I am this young changeling’s bodyguard,” I said pointing to Jade, assuming it would be best to inform them of Jade’s heritage, in case they had a detection method of some kind. “As a credible threat was placed on her, and we were in a largely lawless land at the time, I felt it prudent to construct simple antipersonnel devices out of the available materials for the purposes of securing our campsites. I intend no harm to anyone here, you may dispose of them however you like, or if you prefer I can dismantle their detonators for you.”
“I find it a little… unlikely that you personally created these.” The watchmare said bitterly, taking one of the small box-mines from the cart and holding it in a hoof. “Take this one apart. If you can, I’ll assume you're telling the truth. If you can’t, you can either be arrested or return to the ship which brought you here.”
I rolled my eyes, took the bomb, pulled the wooden cover off, and took out each piece while naming it, “Blackpowder charge in a clay pressure vessel, simple cannon fuse, thermite packets, homemade strike anywhere match, tripwire.”
“Wait, thermite?” One of the other guards asked, “I thought you said these were antipersonnel.”
“They are.” I answered. “I designed these after being attacked by a goddamn rock covered crocodile four times as long as I am tall. Iron shrapnel wasn’t going to cut it.”
“Seems legit.” The head watchmare said with a satisfied nod. “We will confiscate these and any other dangerous materials-”
“Ma’am, I’ve found a firearm!” A zebra called.
“Sporting or military?” the watchmare asked, both to me and her subordinate.
“Four shot, break action.” we replied in unison.
“Sporting then. Is it enchanted?” she continued.
I nodded, “Yes. Which is why I rarely use it.”
“I presume you use that shortsword on your belt primarily?” She asked.
I nodded again, “Yes Ma’am. But it’s not a sword, it’s a knife.”
She looked like she was about to object, then paused, looked me up and down and cleared her throat, “Fair enough, given your size I suppose it could be considered a knife… You are entitled to keep your personal weapons, but please do not draw them for any reason. It is illegal to handle a weapon in public without due cause, such as if responding to a robbery, mugging, or assault. And if you kill anypony even in self defense, you will be required to pay their Worth.”
“Er, worth?” I asked, giving her a confused look.
“Their Worth. One month of their daily wages. A sum given to their next of kin to ensure the loss of income doesn't cripple the family. I’m not surprised you haven't heard of the concept.” the watchmare spat.
“Ma’am, if I may?” the Zebra searching my cart asked.
“What is it?” she asked.
“Speaking as a scholar of the Southern Kingdoms, this person is not the breed of Diamond Dog native to these parts Ma’am. He hails from a cultured region, and is undeserving of your disdain, which admittedly is justifiable for the typically seen members of his species.”
“Objection noted. Continue the search.” She said with an eye roll.
The remainder of the search went pretty well. There was one or two hiccups with my medical supplies, but after explaining what they were used for and how it was pretty well established that I was in fact a doctor by trade and fortunately therefore allowed to keep my kit.
That would have been a bitch to replace.
As soon as the watch had repacked my wagon, minus my cache of explosives, we were free to go. Lily said goodbye to his mentor, everyone made sure they had their stuff. The usual end of a journey affair.
The docks sloped upwards over a series of plant strewn terraces to the city proper, making it a conveniently short walk up to… a thriving boardwalk-market-like city center!
There were thousands of zebras, hundred of ponies, all going about their daily business moving from shop to shop and stall to stall through a huge open air mall. There were food vendors, and music, and clearly manufactured goods! It was like some weird fusion of a medieval market and a city mall. It was… nice!
I was already looking around to see if there might be anything interesting when at the same time Light said, “Okay, we should get a hotel room first.” and Jade moaned, “Ugh, it still feels like I’m on choppy water…”
Lily trotted ahead of me a few paces, looking around slowly, “Das fühlt sich seltsam… It’s been years.”
“Tell me about it.” I answered. It did feel weird.
I turned to look at Light and agree with her that we should get a room and found myself literally face to face with a Topaz eyed changeling!
“Ah!” I dropped the cart’s handles and jumped back, reflexively reaching for my knife-”
“Oop! Sorry! Drifted too far forwards.” The changeling apologized. “Er, are those weapons hoof forged? Are you selling them?”
“Yes.” I answered, the fur on the back of my neck still standing up. “I wouldn’t mind selling them.”
“Great!” she reached into a saddlebag with her magic and passed me a small business card, “Stop by my antique shop after three pm. I’ll buy anything that looks resalable! Sorry again.”
As the random changeling buzzed her way off, Jade and I just sort of stared off after her.
“What?” we asked in confused unison.
Lily giggled and flashed Jade a grin, “I told you that Zebras had no problems with buggies.”
“I didn’t think that would mean we could walk around unshifted!” Jade protested.
“You totally could if you wanted.” Light quipped, “Zebrica declared all the changelings living within their borders citizens three hundred years ago. The Topaz hive doesn't even hide anymore. We should seriously get a room though. Or a few.”
She turned to look at Glowing who had thus far been trotting after us. “Uh, are you tagging along too?”
“Yeah, at least as far as the hotel.” the batpony answered. “I figured I would book an airship tomorrow. Pick up a few Zebrican quilts while I’m here, things like that.”
I frowned and turned to look at her. “You could come with us. You live in Equestria, we could use a guide.”
“Sorry, but I have my wife to look after. I can’t spend another week away without a good reason, and well, you guys are basically going to take a train, hike for two days and take a train. You won’t need a guide, and I have family and friends back in Ponyville expecting me tomorrow.” Glowing commented.
“Wait… Ponyville?” Light asked in confusion.
“Yeah? Why?” Glowing commented.
“I don’t remember any batponies living in Ponyville.” Light said, eyes narrowing suspiciously.
Glowing rolled her eyes, “Pattern Steel.”
“Ah ha! She doesn't actually live in Ponyville, she’s in the Everfree!” Light exclaimed excitingly.
“Light… seriously? She’s right on the edge of the forest a twenty minute walk from Sugarcube Corner. That’s in Ponyville as far as anypony cares… even if it is outside the walls Twilight had built.” Glowing sighed. “Look, as far as I remember you took off around oh-eight, right? The place has changed a bit in nine years. What are you even trying to do? The sabatur was found.”
“Yeah!” I objected, giving Light a weird look, “Lay off, she’s on our side here.”
“I’m sorry it’s just a bit suspicious that she’s getting off at the same time and place as us!” Light protested, huffing indignantly.
“The hay it is! I we were sailing here to pick up some cargo next anyways! I was supposed to get off here.” Glowing groaned slapping a hoof to her forehead.
“Well it’s still weird! These guys are supposed to have the whole- … you know!” Light hissed.
Jade, Lily, and I shared a look. A look of irritation fatigue that can only be shared by friends witnessing well meaning stupid that has reached hazardous levels. A look which said, ‘You get popcorn, you set up some chairs, and I’ll sell the tickets to this fight.’
Glowing opened her mouth in an irritated, lay a verbal smack down, sort of expression. A shadow fell directly over her. Something whistled like a twelve thousand pound bomb in free fall, and a gray and yellow pegasus slammed into her from directly above with a sound like two pumpkins hitting each other, sending the two of them sliding into a tangled heap a short ways away!
I was microseconds away from going full medic mode and whipping out a trauma kit, but the gray pegasus just got up like not a goddamn thing happened, adjusted a postman’s cap which somehow was still on her head, and offered a hoof to help Glowing up.
“Sorry Mhi'par, I guess Dashie needs to show me how to do suborbitals again… Are you okay?”
What?
“Gee, thanks Derpy.” Glowing grumbled, standing up and shaking off the hit, “I definitely never wanted to use this alias again.”
The gray mare blinked, looked around with a pair of slightly crossed gold eyes and blushed, “Oh… S-sorry… It’s hard to hear coming down that fast!”
“Called it!” Light exclaimed, jumping forwards and demanding, “Who do you work for!”
“Princess Luna.” Glowing answered. “Before you ask, she wanted inside knowledge of Sudikahmen’s operations, and based on report she won’t be hunting his plot down. So relax.”
I was still trying to process the fact that this mare had said suborbital. “Uh, excuse me, ma’am? Did you just say you flew a suborbital uh… path?”
She nodded and gave me this completely adorable grin. I was used to ponies looking cute, but this was weapons grade cuteness. “Yeah! It’s so cool! I used to be a bad flier but well, I live with a great one now and she got mad that I couldn’t keep up so… Er… well I guess I need more practice with landings… I just don’t know what went wrong.”
“Why are you even here? How are you here?” Glowing asked angrily.
“Do I need to explain the post services uses magic tracking envelopes every time I deliver to somepony in an unusual place?” This Derpy asked, but not in an irritated sense, in a genuinely honest questioning tone.
She took a letter from her saddlebags and passed it over with a hoof, “You have new orders. The Princess asked me to get them to you as soon as possible.”
“Y… you were going to give somepony on an espionage mission a new set of orders, via a suborbital drop, which I am going to have to really question Dash for teaching you how to do, to an agent, who for all you knew was on the middle of a pirate ship?” Glowing asked one eye twitching.
Derpy kicked a hoof against the ground, “S-sorry… she said it was very important…”
Hurgh! “How can one mare be so cute doing absolutely anything?” I exclaimed unintentionally.
“Oh, that’s my talent! ... Sorry.” Derpy admitted with a blush.
“Oh so that’s what it is! Wait… what do bubbles have to do with- No hold on, you’re a spy!” Light said pointing a hoof accusingly at Glowing, who I had to admit did seem to really be a spy. Huh…
She rolled her eyes, “Yeah, and? I do a lot of different things for Luna.”
“Princess Luna.” Derpy said, as if to clarify the social rank of this Luna.
“I’m her friend! I get to use her name without the title. Besides she prefers general.” Glowing protested, opening the letter then instantly sighing in irritation, “Seriously? There? Right now? How am I supposed to get there in one day?”
Derpy shrugged, “You can do Dashie. Just fly over, she won't mind.”
“She will mind! We had words about it last time… Portal chain it is. There had better be something to eat there all ready…” Glowing sighed. Then she turned to me, “Er, sorry we met under these conditions. You’re a cool guy, so I’ll do you a favor. When you get to Equestria, head to Ponyville. Princess Twilight is there anyways, it’s her fiefdom. But more importantly, that whole, wanting to just have a house and do some work thing you want. Ponyville has a place for literally anyone, hooves down the friendliest small city anywhere.
“Oh, and if you get there before me, look for a freaking adorable blue and white mare named Colgate and tell her that Meep said you can stay over till you have your own place. She probably won't believe you, but what the hay, I tried right?”
I opened my mouth to reply, but the ground beneath her suddenly burst into pale green flames, into which she quickly sunk, vanishing instantly.
“Whoa!” Jade exclaimed eyes wide, “I thought I would never see someone use a Lah’mun Bridge spell! Wait... Sun's Light she was a changeling!” Jade finished, her face twisting into a startled expression.
Well… okay, bit slow on the uptake there…
“Uh, guys, is it kinda cold?” Jade asked with a baffled look.
“N-nein.” Lily said starting to look concerned, “Are you okay?”
Jade shook her head, “I don’t think so… Everything is cold, and itchy, and I’m still smelling lemons, and dizzy. It’s a lot like when I shed my nymph- Oh… Uh…”
Jade’s face took on a concerned look as she turned to me with a desperate look in her eyes, “Remember how I said that anyling can become a Queen if they are away from their hive and get enough food? Can uh, we go someplace we can stay for a while? Like, right now?”
Oh.
Oooh.
Oh!
Shit!
“Yes! Let’s do that! Light, hotel, now!” I exclaimed, scooping Jade up and setting her back on her cart top perch. “Just hold on. Lily, make sure she doesn't fall off. Light, you seem to know the place, hotel, lead on!”
“Oh! Make sure she gets someplace cozy, warm, and dark! A bathroom with a portable heater in it and a blanket over the window should work well.” The mail mare offered before flying off with a quick happy wave.
Light nodded and started to run off to the right. I grabbed the cart’s handles, took a deep breath to steady myself, and rushed after. Today was shaping up to be a long, long, day.
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well well well, holy shit.
AHA!
Derpy!
yep, full derp
AHA!
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) ---> (⌐□_□)
6713107 Derpy demanded to cameio via my camieo. I couldn't say no, she's too cute.
6713122 agreed, can't deny her unending cute
called it when I heard Meep
6713187 Ayyyy! Somone remember's their changelish!
6713191 at this point though. David could end up really drunk, wake up the next morning, and see a changeling in the mirror.
6713233 I'm not sure I follow you... Can you put that in some diffrent words please?
6713237 turns out his a changeling in the same boat as Light
6713241 Ah. I see. Well I wont say anything on the matter, assuming that's the case.
6713250 it's just that we are seeing so many changelings around right now.
6713314 Well, I suppose this might come as a shock to you... But I kinda like changelings.
6713391 sics Fluffle Puff on you.
This is a good chapter.
6713625 I'm glad you think so. May I ask what makes you think so?
I expected either Derpy or the Neighponese airship was going to be involved, from the title.
David's still having prejudice issues, but hey, great place to offload his cart....plus he now has a contact with that topaz hive so that he can deliver the medallion from the poor conscript in Stalliongrad. And he's getting a serious blow of disillusionment from the assumptions he had made because of spending the last five years in the armpit of the world.
I wonder what Lilly and Andrin were talking about on the boat....secondary magical spell matrix for what now?
And to top it off....Jade is about to become a queen already. They grow up so fast. heh
Also......Meep! Everyone's favorite buggy is off playing spy games for General Luna! And Colegate's sick....ah, I see.
6713654 you're welcome.
6713659 Huzzah! Batty finely gets where this takes place on that timeline I talk about all the time ^.^
Oh and Lily's convercation is:
"the energy transfer rate must be exactly forty megajoules per second?"
"Yes, "what's-his-face answered," and be sure to keep the matrix correctly polarized, or it will collapse explosively."
“Ah, that makes sense.” what’s-his-face said turning back to face Lily before adding, “My condolences. Anyway, back to what I was saying. "
"That's right, something secondary about the magic matrix?"
6713666 Yep, very much so. And 'Glowing Forge' is right....David isn't going to recognize what's going on with Cole.
Probably my favorite line:
6713666 Oh, I translated it. Google-Translate is my friend to get the gist of it. I'm wondering what they were talking about.
6713707 A spell Lily's been working on after a few observations he made.
Looks like Jade has been feeling the love.
6713843 Perhaps she has :)
So! The agent was called away from them back to Canterlot in order to receive orders to bring them to Canterlot as fast as possible.
They're probably going to HEAR her swearing from there!
6714025 Yup! And by the time she gets back, they will be looooong gone! So much time saved by just sending the actual orders... But NOOO Security and shit takes precedence.
6714047
Yea, but she can track them easily enough. It's already established that she just needs to mail them a letter.
6714113 There's one problem, that magic works only for people with a valid Equestrian ID. If you're in the system, the post office's envelopes will let authorized mail carriers know exactly where you are. A similar systems lets warrants for arrest work the same way.
6713314 Even the changelings are changelings!
Oh lordie, sub-orbital Derpy-drop. It's the end of the world.
6714351 Quick, throw a muffin at her.
6714351
ESPECIALY the changelings. Trust me, I'm a changeling.
Can you imagine the ponyville panic when Dash fist taught her that?
Since no one else probably noticed or is gonna say it. The reveal of Hamunaptra from The Mummy. First class reference Meep!
6714126
So they have little to no idea how to fulfill a warrant on somebody without a valid ID, owing to the process being rare?
Too bad Equestria doesn't have scrying or sending magic that can function based on unambiguous identification of the target.
Also too bad she can't just portal back to where she was.
Oh man, forcing Dave to undergo a boat "landing" on a foggy day with booming noise in the background and some german conversations floating around for good measure? That's both evil and hilarious at the same time, I approve
And it was nice to see Dave's current species causing a little bit of trouble once more. I imagine there will be more of that as they journey on if Dogs are not well liked. Though to be fair he was hauling a cart with explosives and stuff. At first I thought the zebra security was being pretty nosy, but then I recalled this isn't supposed to be a country stuck in medieval times - if you tried hauling in c artful of mines and stuff inside a modern day city you would probably get swarmed with cops very quickly and they'd be a lot less nice than the zebra
And aww, poor Dave - there goes his plans of making it big by using his would-be superior knowledge. Sorry, no free cheese over here! And all his stuff being sold in antique-scrap shop - ouch
Though I'm sure he'd find something to do in Ponyvile anyway as he knows lots of stuff and is crafty besides. He won't be seen as a savant but hey - shouldn't have issued getting work I imagine.
And why do I think it's about time Dave sat one of the gang down and said "Alright, hit me with geopolitics of Equis 101" - I imagine appearing clueless otherwise would be getting old pretty fast at this point for him :P
But man, Quis sounds like an awesome place to see - a glass skyscraper-esque rendition of the Hanging Gardens? I would love to see that place
What stole the spotlight was Derpy though - sub-orbital mail delivery via live courier? Only in Equestria!
I bet Twilight had three different sorts of panic attacks once she learned Dash had taught Derpy of all ponies that move :P
But dang, Ponyville has a wall now? I wonder what prompted Twilight to build that one
One too many incursions from Everfree?
Those "secret" orders from Luna though - why do I have a feeling they will be to track/escort a certain trio of individuals who just disembarked from a pirate ship that our hapless spy was stationed on? I can practically feel the next Nightmare being born if that's what Glowing's orders are considering she just was forced to leave them
And yay, Meep makes an appearance :P
Jade transforming into a Queen though? Now that I didn't expect to happen so soon, talk about a curveball
Probably a good thing overall - she'll be stronger, she wears a disguise all the time anyway and once they get to Twilight having her be a Queen could make things go smoother/get Twilight to take them seriously quicker. Unless it turns out being queen-ified messes up Jade's magic and she needs to re-learn how to shapeshift with the new parameters and has to go all au naturale full time for now, the it could cause interesting reactions from bystanders
6716031
Originally I was going to start the chapter with him waking up and have literally EVERYTHING be the same.
I based this on a more modern customs checkpoint. Cargo is inspected, because of exactly that reason.
With his skill at basic carpentry, he'll makea small fortune in ponyville. I mean how many instances of property dammage do we see in the show? A lot.
Yeah that one is somthing that needs to be done... Thanks for the idea!
NO! I am SOOOOO not drawing Quis! >< My hands hurt jsut THINKING about that...
"FOR THE LOVE OF CELESTIA WHY!?!" "She's just too slow! I had to do something." "NO YOU DID NOT!"
Well, let's see, they live on the edge of a fire swamp, and an eldritch forest. Any sencable leader would cosntruct a monster resistant wall, especialy with how frequently Ponyville is Ground Zero for "Shit that went unresolved 1000+ years ago." After a necromancer self-revived in the Everfree and with more people to defend than ever (the town's grown to a small city in these 8 years, same charm and style, jsut more surfice area), Twilight decided a Canterlot style wall would be a good investment. Because that was cheaper than walling off the Everfree.
Yeah... I was pritty pissed off... Just send the new orders with the recall order!
Did you miss chapter 22 Friendship? Look at the dates, it's been a month since she left home, and saved a whole ship's crew. She was DROWNING in love for a few days there.
If she wasn't a scout, that's EXACTLY what would happen. But since Queens get their caste's abilities amplified...
6716215
Now that would be evil. :P Speaking of loud noises are they going to see the Neighponese ship? Sounds like it would be a pretty awesome sight.
The whole town is a case of property damage just waiting to happen :P Yeah I could see someone who knows how to fix things making a living in Ponyville.
Aww :/
What about burning down the Everfree? Sounds like that place is more trouble than it's worth :P
6717734
Yes. Next Chapter. It's an Azur Lily one.
Derpy, ensuring Ponyville's carpenter's foals get to go to college since 978 SE.
... v.v okay... But only becuase I like you!
I'll let Twilight handle this one, here.
dhaodjfjkopakfpaw dkopawdk
Right... hooves... I'll jsut transcribe. "We did! Twice actually. Ever try to burn down a daemon possessed and also cursed forest? It just grows back on the New Moon twice as dangerous as before."
6717796
Yay, that should be awesome
Hey, you don't have to strain on my account - if it's not something you aren't comfortable doing then you shouldn't force it
Hm, couldn't she use her TK to push down on the needed keys? :P
But dang, I hadn't actually expected them to try. At least they took initiative, even if it failed. Though I wonder how the forest looks now, if it gets worse every time ... and how Zecora reacted to that
What about time-locking it, Crystal Empire style?
6717902
Since when has Twilight ever sencably used magic for every day tasks aside from very basic "move X to Y" TK?
It's eight times as dark and menacing. It still leaves Zecora the buck alone. That mare can evil eye anything into the ground.
I hadn't thought of that... Huh... "Screw it, this is a problem for Future Twilight!" *poof* "There."
6717926
Well, she does write using her TK and not scribbling with her mouth, and this would be kinda the same I guess ..? :P
6718021 Fair enought, but at the same time we can see that pony TK comes in two varrieties, high lift, and multiple objects. Twilight has been shown to be able to well... Lift what looks to be a 20 ton bear. But she ahs never been shown to control more than 3 or so objects at once (To my recolection). Rarity meanwhile has been shown to move smaller objects only, but has been sheen to independently control 9 or 10 things at once with no apparent effort.
So, it to type with unicorn magic you would need to be able to control each key individually. It may just slip by some unicorns that they could just press one at a time.
6718875
Actually Twilight has controlled hundreds (if not thousands) of objects at the same time - remember applebuck season? She harvested dozens of trees all at once and had a bajillion apples floating in the air at once while Rarity was stuck hauling a cart :P She's also had her whole library (when she still had a library) of books dancing in the air in a merry-go-round at some point, so her multi-tasking is kinda stupendous actually :P
And then was that one time where she had to fix the Ponyville dam - also had dozens/hundreds of rocks floating simultaneously at that time. This is also much more impressive strength wise than the puny little Ursa, given the size of the dam and the hole that was made in it we are talking tends of thousands of tons of rocks (much more if you factor in the onrushing pressure exerted by the onrushign river she had to push them against to get tham back in place) moved in the span of like 30 seconds.
Twilight's TK is kinda crazy both power and multi-tasking wise and doesn't even seem to require line of sight
6718957 I guess I have missed a few episodes o.o Well there goes that theory!
WAIT!
So I just reread this, and realized a couple of things:
A) Derpy said she is living with Dash, dose this imply what I think? DerpyxDash ship?
B) David acts like he and Jade are just going to go separate ways once they get to Equestra, I find it more likely Jade will want him around, like forever. She was on the edge of nervous wreck when he left on the landing party.
Just wanted to point these out.
6725010 A Derpy and Dash are happily married in this timeline, and actually run a nightclub together. They ahve been togeather for 8 years, and dating for 11. In show time, they would have started Dating jsut after the episode "Made in Manehattan", when Derpy shyly flirted with Dash after the race. (If you're wondering about the standard Derpy/Time Turner ship... Sorry but I'm a Whovian. The Doctor is asexual, exception to Rose Tyler. This is a canon fact.)
B Yes I may be shaping those two to be shipped.
6725162 *claps hooves* I'm now watching this even more closely!
6726740 This particular tale will be ending in a few more chapters, and will be followed by somthing more slice of lify as Jade builds her new hive. Assuming she lives through the ending that is.
6726751 It would be cool if Jade build a coastal hive, I can't wait to see how things turn out :)
6726955 Well, that would certainly make sense... More than my idea at any rate. Have a cookie!
/me quietly steals your idea then zoidbergs away.
Oh crap, David's remembering D-Day, isn't he?
Heh.
Something is definitely up with Jade.
Neat.
Poor David, so much for being a knowledgeable modern
mandog among people who are middle aged in technology at best.Poor David x2, I had kind of forgotten about the likely anti-dog speciesism.
Heh, given the damage it can do, it's kind of funny seeing David's gun described as "sporting".
Well, that's something.
Dash is capable of suborbital flight? Awesome. And hey, Meep!
It's molting time, I assume?
Jade... evolve to... Queen Jade!
Those pirates really loved you after you saved the ship, huh?
6727895
Go go power buggies, go mighty moltin' power buggie-eess!