14 Azure Oyster Cult
Dusk - 26th of Megan '15 EoH - Evening
Forty thousand men and women every day. Minimum. That’s a workload, even if you do happen to exist in three temporal dimensions. The actual work still needs to be done at some point in your timespace which corresponds with the next point in their timeline.
It’s really rather easy to explain how I get it all done. A mortal exists from one point to the next moving a single direction along a single temporal dimension. If they drop a cup the next event they experience is that cup falling.
My kind exists in three temporal dimensions, free to move forward and back, left and right, even up and down, in time. Exactly what that actually allows us to do is very hard to explain to people who can’t do it. Suffice to say if I dropped a cup, I could step left and it falls one way, or right and it falls another, step back and try to not drop the cup (in theory), or step forward and see the cup hit the ground next.
As for up and down, well that’s not really something a one-dimensional entity is capable of comprehending, even in their own small way. That’s not to say that I’m completely beyond mortal understanding, I am able to move freely in time and possibility, but I can not change my own timeline.
Once something has happened, it is a fact. The fantasy of going back and changing something you yourself experienced is an impossibility, at least it is for us. Oddly enough mortals can do this while we can’t, but I digress.
Suffice to say that every day a staggering number of people die, and I process them all. One at a time, at the same time, the moment after they have passed on. To me however it’s not the same moment in time, I go from one to the next as a mortal wound, but in the overall timeline everything occurs simultaneously.
While it may take me 4 days of mortal time to process everyone who died on a single day, they all move on at the same point in time. A consequence of this for me is that I can be pretty far out of the loop, backlogged with souls to guide and judge, and sometimes, I miss events I am trying to keep track of.
See, things I am trying to keep track of become a part of my timeline. Meaning they happen in sequence with me. My time moving abilities will not help me simply undo a mistake or oversight I have made.
Which is why when the next soul on my list was a changeling’s I panicked.
I was tracking Jade, if she had been killed while I was doing my jo-
Oh, no, this wasn’t Jade. I made a mental luck to thank Auntie Chance for that later. This soul was much older and darker, tainted by a lifetime of cruelty and malevolence. One of Chrysalis's swarm, as revealed by the stray sparks of memories bleeding off her.
The Swarm, yet another thing I keep tabs on. For good reason.
How had this fragment of evil died? With luck somepony had decided to attack them preemptively and-
Oh, David punched the ever-loving shit out of-
I quickly constructed an avatar, in order to nearly have a heart attack. It seemed the only way to appropriately deal with the utter panic at the thought of David and Jade encountering the Swarm too soon!
I ran up to the deceased Changeling as it hovered in the nothingness, opened the way to the afterlife karmically appropriate, pointed towards the door, and blurted, “Hey you’re dead, afterlife’s that way. It’s an eternity of whatever you wrought in life, have to go bye!”
A quick jump to the left, and a step to the right brought me to the mortal plane. A quick thought and Jade’s soul shone like a beacon, guiding me right to a small storefront in Capsan. There Jade and David fought against two changelings, one a Sapphire Hive zealot, the other a Topaz Hive conscript.
Spellbolts flew, blades slashed, and apparently knuckledusters had already done their skull cracking. I breathed a sigh of relief, this was nothing those two couldn’t handle. My fears of the entire Swarm having suddenly blotted out the sun were all for naught.
Though there was one danger. Outside the storefront a quartet of guards were rapidly approaching, there to put an end to the fight. I recognized their leader, Axe Guard, a burly earth pony who had sent enough people to me that I would have a full three percent less paperwork to do once he kicked the bucket.
He was brutal and violent, but simple and just. Jade and David would be detained, but not harmed. Still, it would be best to stick around and make sure that they were in and out of jail as quickly as possible. A few small string pulls would let me speed them on their way.
I moved to the alleyway beside the storefront and let myself manifest completely. There would be a nice bar nearby, the perfect place to find a loose thread to pick at.
Azur - 26th of Megan '15 EoH - Evening
It’s hard to find yourself in a lower place than to be told to stay put when your friend is in danger.
David and I had barely finished proving to the guards that he wasn’t a danger and gotten a short way down the street, when he jerked to attention, grabbed a small box, and bolted off. I’d followed him for a few steps, asked what was wrong…
“Jade’s in danger. Stay here.” Five words, five hammer blows. Delivered in the manner of an angry father to their idiot kid.
Had I bucked up that bad? I mean, I knew that I had, but, enough to destroy all trust completely? I guess I had.
My first shot a real friends in… maybe ever. My parents had been too strict, they drove off anyone who might have been friends with me, except for the few ponies who wanted to use my talent. My peers in college? Don’t make me laugh, everypony just wanted to copy my work. The Applewood Guard and citizens? I doubt any one of them would ever do more than business with an ‘outlander’.
Jade and David had been my only shot. The traveling, the stories, the jokes, and teasing… All of that thrown away on a stupid impulse buy!
My friend in danger, but my help not wanted.
When was I ever wanted? Only when someone needed my services. Only when I could be useful. Never just for fun. Never for me.
I turned to look at the cart, he had some really effective weapons in there. Like those bombs. I could just end this, one pull of a string, and no pain ever again.
That sounded great, actually.
I moved around to the back of the wagon and started to dig. I’d seen him use one before. Small wooden pine box, four hooves wide, one hoof thick-
Ah, there we go.
I picked one of the bombs up with my magic and set it on the ground, started to unravel the string and then suddenly somepony put a hoof on my shoulder!
“Hey, don’t do that! What’s wrong?” A mare’s voice asked.
I turned to see a mare who was basically an albino giving me a super concerned look. It was a look that actually made me feel like someone gave a crap about me. Enough to make me decide to talk to her at least. Even if those jet black eyes were creepy as an abandoned convenience store in the fog.
“I… There's no point… I can’t make friends, or if I do I fuck up and lose them…” I sniffled, feeling even worse for feeling bad. “Life just… bucking…”
The mare nodded and sat down next to me with a long frustrated sigh, “Yeah my brother’s a pretty big assho- Eh, I mean, I’m sorry kid. You shouldn’t blow yourself up though.”
“But what’s the point?” I demanded morosely.
“Oh, no, don’t get me wrong!” The mare said insistently, “I totally get wanting to check out of life. By all means, go ahead, but blowing yourself up? A nice mare like you should know that will hurt like hell and could leave you alive but minus major sections of your body.”
I blinked in surprise, I really hadn’t wanted a lecture about hurting other people but… Wasn’t that the thing ponies did in these moments? “Uh, aren't people supposed to be mad when you try to-”
She nodded, “Yeah, but they fear death. Which is dumb. You don’t fear the end of a book do you? Hay no, you can only appreciate a story once it’s done. The only thing which sucks is when a story’s too short, or has a crappy ending.”
That made a surprising amount of sense, I guess. “But… After you die you don’t do anything ever again… I can see why that would be something to be afraid of… Even if it sounds nice right now.”
She smiled and shook her head a little. “There’s plenty after you die. Trust me. Seasons don’t fear the Reaper, nor do the wind, the sun or the rain. You can be like they are, or you can live your days fearing the once certainty of life, it will end.”
“But… What does that do to make life any better? All I want is a friend, or a coltfriend… But no. Twenty eight years of trying and nothing… No one cares about me.” I muttered.
She laughed and shook her head, “No, it doesn't. Not directly. You have to appreciate life before an acceptance of your mortality will help you enjoy it. You know what your problem is? You’re too hung up on that one part of life.”
“Huh?” I turned and looked up from the cobblestones, ears perking curiously, “What do you mean?”
She stood up and pointed out into the street where a few ponies were walking by, looking at the two of us curiously or walking off, minding their own business. “There are a million things you can see with your own eyes right now. Sure friends are great, but you know what’s also great? A good bottle of beer, a nice smoke, and something fun to read on a quiet afternoon. Seeing something created by your own two hooves. Or if you’re a romantic, the glow of a distant fusion reaction as it becomes visible over the horizon of a planet.”
“So, you’re saying-”
“I’m saying that you shouldn’t just kill yourself because one part of your life is crappy. Find something else to enjoy, and if there’s truly nothing for you in life, well… Don’t let people’s opinion on what’s right or wrong force you to be truly miserable for the rest of your days. Whether that means giving Life a raspberry and going you own way, or seeking out Death, that’s your choice as a sapient being.” She finished.
I mulled over her words for a few minutes. They made sense. It would have been stupid to just kill myself like that. I still liked magic, and coco, and pretty things… Even if they did get me into trouble sometimes.
It was like a light had suddenly turned on in my head. Yeah, I was really lonely, and pretty hurt, but there were still lot's of good things there for me.
“You’re right… What the buck was I thinking?” I demanded loudly, looking at the sky in the hopes of an answer from… Well, nature I guess.
“Easy,” the mare quipped, “you were thinking with your brainy bits flooded with hostile spellcraft.”
“I- wait, what?!” I exclaimed, eyes widening.
“Yeah. Slowed speech, miss-dilated eyes, obvious meat hooks in the soul. Someone hypnotized you, and it looks like they wanted you dead after doing whatever they got you to do. Don’t sweat it, I fixed it. You’re fine now.” She gave me a light smile, showing teeth brighter than anything else on her body.
“I… Oh… Then, I didn’t fuck up! She was right, it was a con, a good con!” I facehooved, the mare with the weird eyes! “Faust’s blood I didn’t think anything was magic because she didn’t have a horn!”
“Heh… Yeah you shouldn’t discount magic just because somepony’s not a unicorn.” the pale earth pony said with a small grin as a lighter and cigarette floated out of her mane in a nearly invisible, ghostly, white aura.
I blinked twice as she lit the cigarette and put the lighter back. “But you… how?”
“Surely you’ve seen non-ponies do magic.” She commented taking a short puff, “Anypony can learn a little bit. Unicorns are just better in general, plus for you having deep emotional connections and friendships increases the size of your mana reserves. Friendship is literally magic for you.”
Right. I had forgotten that… Though one thing was bugging me, “You know, those are really bad for you… Right?” I asked pointing a hoof at her cigarette. “I know you have that whole ‘don’t fear death’ thing, but those will kill you.”
She giggled and gave me a grin that was way too pleased with itself. “Ha! Oh my god I never get tired of that one! Irony, why are you so funny.”
I gave her a confused look of confusion. That’s the only way I could possible describe what my face did thanks to her statement.
“Heh… Anyways,” she said after a moment of awkward silence, “about that friends thing… I need to stay in town for business for a while. It’s been awhile since I got to go to a pub with a girl and chat about I don't know, guys, or whatever. What do you say?”
I blushed deeply. Seriously, why does everypony mistake me for a mare? I know I’m cute, and pretty, but something about me other than my junk has to say ‘colt’ right? “I, ah, actually should watch this cart… Thank you though. Oh, but um… I’m not a mare, I’m a colt.”
The pale mare blinked three times and stared at me closely then shook her head. “Bullshit!”
A half second later she flinched, “Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude. Trans-stallion, right… Sorr-”
“No, I’m a guy. Like, a cisgender guy.” I groaned holding ahoof to my face.
She raised an eyebrow and then shook her head again, “Sorry but no, you smell like a mare, look like a mare, sound lik-”
Why the buck is flashing people the only way to prove my gender? I sighed and turned around, lifting my tail briefly enough to prove my point, and turn back around to the prefect face to capture total bafflement.
“I- what, but… Um… okay…” she sputtered. A heartbeat later she shook her head violently, “Even your soul looks female! You’re a trans-mare, right?”
“No.” I groaned. “I’m a colt. I like dresses and pretty things, sure, but I’m not a girl, nor do I feel like a girl.”
“... Kay…” She said gently, face still frozen at completely confused.
Wait a minute did she just say that my soul looked female? As in she could see it? What?
“I’m going to go drink now, and contemplate metaphysical anomalies in regards to mortal’s genders…” The mare announced, quickly trotting off to a pub down the street.
I sighed and shook my head. Buck it. I should just pretend to be a mare from now on. Less complicated, and apparently less damaging to others psyches… Always liked the name Lilly better anyways…
I put the bomb carefully back into the cart, repacked everything the way it had been and sat down in front of the cart between the handrails. Jade and David would be back soon, and I could do my best to earn their friendship back once they arrived. I’d start with making sure nothing happened to the cart.
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The more we learn about Azure the more we see how much Hitler screwed up. The fact his soul says female. OUCH!
6574465 Yep, there's fucked up, and then there is "Literally created abominations of mortality".
6574470 And Discord can be held blameless for once. But I bet he would be interested in Azure.
6574477 Perhapse in a "study/mess" with way. I don see much more than that though.
So much foreshadowing. But to what, I'll never tell...
Yup, David really punched the ever loving shit out of that bitch. I feel sorry for the Topaz Hive conscript that Dusk noted was one of the other two changelings in there. I wonder if there is any of the being that was originally in there still left inside his head after being conscripted into the Demon Queen's swarm.
I was worried that Azur would feel this way after what that changeling bitch was saying she'd done with her mind meddling. Fortunately, Dusk stopped him, even if that's opened up a new slew of questions for him. heh What do you believe in, Azur? I was wondering there at the end if he'd catch the remark that even his soul looked female.
Dusk is not the most subtle of metaponies, is she?
6574515 Nah she's not subtle. She's honest, rock solid, and reliable. She's also kind, merciful, and appreciates life. The state of existence, not her brother. He's an asshole. (I mean come on, anyone who makes botflies, plagues, mind controlling fungi...)
Once again I couldn't resist.
6574634 I should just have you sound track the chapters
6574530 Yeah.....Dusk should go smack him, tell him to stop making new stuff when he's pissed off at the mortals for breaking something.
6574634 Btw, if you use the full url (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ClQcUyhoxTg) the link will work proper.
Like this:
Two things come to mind after reading this chapter.
1. a Ralph Stanley song
2. Azur broke Death . . .
6574797
Oh, my I didn't realize that they didn't show. Posting from my smartphone isn't always the best idea.
6574650
Always glad to help, I love this story.
6574755 She can't seniority has it's perks... ANd her brother out ranks her.
6574812 Well hello there person I havent seen before int he comments! Hi! Welcome to my story, hope your liking it!
6574929 I hate seniority....hated it in the military and still hate it now. Someone isn't better just because they've been in the position longer! That doesn't mean that they are even good at the position, it could well mean that they're there because no one trusted them with the additional responsibilities of promotion!
death is a mare? would flirt 10/10
also make me curious, I wonder how I'll die,
I hope I'm like a spec ops veteran, and die by accidentally stabbing myself with a spoon after tripping over the edge of a carpet.
Changeling: okay?
*steps into afterlife*
*the corpses of ponies it killed lay littered on the ground*
'ling: what?
*the corpses mechanically sit up and turn their heads towards the changeling, staring at it with eyeless skulls*
*dramatic music*
6577911
https://youtu.be/5kXiVSYmC0g?t=1m10s
Actualy this is how it works. A micro universe is created and the world within is specifically designed to ensure that no matter what you do events equitably good or bad as those average of your own behaviors to others in life happen to you. Forever, and without end.
6574465 That's definitely interesting.
6578051 a stroke?
Draaf maasofaniik niiv reym, tolakniir zey, tol tefsu.
the average? oh god, my afterlife would be filled with satyromaniac lunatics who think the're funny, generally semi-nice and would rather read a book than talk with a human? (given I haven't lived half my life yet... hopefully)
erm...
allkpop.com/meme/generate/2013/12/mxcvuh.jpg
6578632 Yep. You get the exact karmic reward for your every action... Forever.
6578739 I'm exhilarated
Whoa whoa whoa, Azur, take a step back and think things through o_o Sure, things might be tense with Dave and Jade right now but that's no reason to kill yourself over!
Granted, his mind had been messed with and it was evidently affecting him harder than I imagined it was but I got the impression that the changeling stirred up emotions and thoughts that were already there, not implant entirely new ones. He really needs to sit down and have a long, serious talk about his issues with the other two. And a hug. Yeah, could definitely use a hug.
I was momentarily surprised the other two hadn't picked up he was still under influence, but now that I think about it I figure they simply didn't know what to look for. Jade is barely an adult after all and doesn't know much about magic yet and her hive seemed like a nice place so it's probably not something she has seen in action before. And Dave has spent 5 years wandering Stalliongrad where advanced magic is apparently scoffed at so probably knows absolutely nothing about it, or that such magic even exists at all, never mind the symptoms.
That aside good ol' Dusk continues to be awesome - I like how different she is compared to the typical portrayal deities/gods. You know, they are typically uninvolved and aloof and subtle and work through proxies and such.
Obviously subtlety isn't in her book and that's very refreshing.
Dusk? Plops herself straight next to Azur and gives him a pep talk while undoing the magic affecting him
Though I wonder why she can't just personally stop the guards that are closing on on the fight? If I get things right she can't interfere with "important" people that can potentially affect events on a global scale or so (Chrysalis, Gryphon general, etc) but small fry seem fair game, seeing how she both used Magic on Azur and talked him in to taking (or not taking!) specific actions. Why not the guards as well?
Oh, one question - why was Dusk so alarmed at seeing a dead changeling though? I mean with queen murderhobo's swarm spreading across the lands and causing ruckus everywhere and getting in to fights I would have expected there to be a convoy of changelings being ferried into the afterlife pretty much 24/7
And that bit with even Azur's soul looking female and Dusk's reactions were hilarious
Until I remembered that it was mentioned all germane females look kinda masculine and all the males feminine after Hitler's tampering. Could it be that the insane bastard messed up not only their genetics but something on an even deeper level that causes their very souls to be mismatched? Because damn!
6578977
That's precisely what happened. I'll say two things about Azur's foalhood memories. His dad lit him on fire as a punishment once, and his mother realy, literally, paid him no attention (He was basically raised by his grandmother and nanny). If he had been born in Equestria he would have been removed from his parent's care by age four by Foal Services... He has not had a happy life, and it's a fucking merical that he can be genuinely happy when there are no pressing problems. Thus, pushed even a bit out of wack with negative emotions, he is very prone to suicide.
Pritty much. Jade's hive dose teachhypnosis magic, but not that kind, and they teach it mostly to tharapists. David's bairly learning magic, and he's doing it from a old Prench spellbook an dis at the point where he can heat metal to dull orange for a few seconds... Ironically Azur would have recognized the symptoms instantly if he were not under the effects...
Well... I'm in a unique posision for creating mythologies. I wont spoil how the whole divine hiarchy and relationships work but let me pt it like this, Dusk is special. Her domain is death and her job is to judge the soul of all who come before her, which is damn near everyone to ever live. She sees everything about everyone, their hopes, dreams, failures, presscious memories, lowest moments, pride, the works. How can she not come to empathize with mortal kind? How can she not sympathies with them? Do you know how long she's been doing her job? She docent count in years she counts in Entropic Cycles, that is, existences of the universe. She's up to 12. With everyone she's seen, the many she remembers, she LOVES mortals, like actually loves them. She wants to help, to experience, to be friends.
Her brother, on the other hand, he sits around creating things like typhoyd and laughing as the tiny motes of light go dark.
First, she loves mortals and dosent like to personally slay if she dosent need to. Second it's not her job to do the actual killing. Physics handsles that. She's a guide and a receptionist, answering questions and guiding people to thei proper place. If she did kill somone she would be in minor trouble. If she killed someone as a part of a personal plan which is all kinds of illegal (by the divine rules) her boss would find out about her plot, and she would suffer greatly.
SHe knew that the Swarm was after Jade and co from the earlier chapter and that mission is at the foremost of her mind for reasons which will come clear later. Additionaly if the Swarm was attacking someone that day (whcih is about once a month) it means suddenly about 8x the normal daily paperwork... Yes, her boss makes her do paperwork.
I'm glad you liked it, but no. Germans have of course died, if that was normal, Dusk would have been like "Ah your from Germaney... Sorry." Azur is... different. I'll explain in PM.
6578977
Oh there is something genetical going on with Azur, but I am not at liberty to say. Cause you know, Spoilers.
Geeze, David, one hit one kill. Effective, definitely.
Yikes, thank goodness for Death stepping in to intervene a little. It makes sense that that's how the con was designed to end, though, especially since this was intentionally aimed at Jade and her party.
Even his soul looks female? Interesting.
Ouch, a one shot one kill hit!
But I thought Life's a bitch?
I think this was my favourite line.
Not gonna lie, this sounds like the beginning to a malevolent and ethereal evil spirit that comes to be one of the most dangerous beings in the world despite having died. Like, sure the afterlife is over there, but by pointing it out now it has a chance to go in the exact opposite direction and cause mayhem back on this side.
That is a magnificent line. Nothing more, nothing less.
You're missing a few steps for the time warp.....
Well, that took a turn for the intriguing, and weird.
What you did there, I see.
So Death is outsourcing
Huh, that’s one place I didn’t expect to see the lyrics to (Don’t Fear) The Reaper, but I guess the chapter title should’ve given something away.