Azur/Lilly - 5th of Plantation '15 EoH - Afternoon - (5 days at sea)
The Night Jewel had a pub. Of course it did. It had everything else, except for a swimming pool that is. The thing was, I hadn’t noticed that there was a pub until five days into our trip.
I never used to even think about going to a pub or a bar, but after that night with Dusk, I had found myself wanting to go back to that little place for a drink. Well, not exactly the drink, I really just wanted the company. I wish I could remember the whole night, because just sitting with somepony who was actually listening to me was really nice.
I’d made my first real friend in a pub, so I thought maybe that’s where I could make more.
I did count Jade and David as friends, but since I had been ordered to escort them out of the country well… I didn’t exactly meet them just because. I met them because I had been told too. I liked them a lot, but it felt different from just hanging out with that mare. It felt… lesser. Not bad, just less good.
The ship’s pub was pretty nice. That should go without saying, the whole ship is in-bucking-credible, but the pub was nice by the standards of the ship. All extra smooth dark wood, silver bartops, an aquarium behind the bar filled with exotic fish, tables designed to comfortably seat ponies, griffons, even dragons.
It was really nice. Fancy decor wasn’t really my taste, my father had ruined gold and silk for me by, well, decorating our manor with it and thus making me associate opulence with jerks. But even so, I liked this pub. They made it work by having the fancy feel less ‘rich jerk’ and more ‘craftspony’. It’s hard to describe, but the style of all the decor and furnishing looked less like some artist made it, and more like a loving craftspony happened to have a ton of expensive stuff to work with.
I wondered if Dusk would like this place. I guess I didn’t know much about her, but she seemed to like me. If we ever saw each other again I would have to learn more about her. The Captain had said she was well, more powerful than he was. Maybe she had a house someplace with a room like this one.
Nah, that didn’t seem like her style. She might be rich and powerful, but she was actually happy in that old, stone walled, function over form pub. Her place was probably all Equestrian style, modern conveniences hidden behind a veneer of medieval decor.
I’d never liked Equestrian architecture. The wattle and daub style is fine, but the roofs. The roofs bother me. I get they like their history, but who the hay wants to use a thatched roof? With any luck, since I’ll probably be living there, I’ll be able to find a place with a roof made of something that isn’t literally a bundle of hay. A nice clay tile roof would be fun.
Fun. It would be nice to be having that right now.
Unfortunately while the pub was nice, the zebras and ponies in it had their cliques and friendships pretty well hashed out. So I was basically just sitting at the bar with a glass of something which smelled like it should be alcohol, but hadn’t gotten me buzzed after four and tasted something like shampoo, only delicious. At least the music playing from the jukebox was nice.
Also, this did beat sitting in my cabin reading spellbooks. I’d basically memorized everything aside from the publisher information in my books. While I had more to learn in, well everything, I had nothing to learn it from. Thus, pretending to study what the hell this drink was exactly to convince myself that I was practicing in my down time.
Thus far, I was hoping it wasn’t some sort of milk. If it was, I never wanted to see the animal it came from. I could only envision it to be some sort of cosmic terror made of nothing but tentacles that were also eyes and mouths. Nothing else could logically make milk flavored like this.
I missed the mead Dusk and I had shared. How did a place this bucking opulent not have mead?
Suddenly, a stallion slid onto the stool next to me. He was a pretty tall, blue furred, brown maned earth pony, with an odd star shaped patch of red fur over his left eye, and a cutiemark shaped like a burning microphone. He caught my attention mostly because of his facial mark, I’d never gotten to study them before since marked ponies are exceptionally rare.
He noticed me looking at him instantly. Actually instantly. Literally before I knew it. It was creepy.
The stallion swept a hoof through his mane to slick it back, and at the same time pulled a rose from… somewhere with the other and held it out with the same sort of smile a cart salesman gives you.
“Why hello there,” he greeted, “you're a very attractive young mare. I'd like to ask you out on the hottest of dates. I see that you have a lot of other gentlecolt suitors. Allow me to make my case…”
The hay was he talking about? Nopony else was even looking at me. Oh ponyfeathers! I was being picked up in a bar by this sleaze ball. No!
I held up a hoof to stop him from continuing, “Uh, actually I’m not-”
I felt my ears floop back in confusion as the stallion hopped off the stool and broke out into an actual song, prompting the entire pub to groan enmass.
“This guy plays hoofball // but I once won the whole super bowl by myself!” The stallion boasted, pointing to a short zebra who at the moment was facehoofing painfully hard.
“Damn it Sani! Every time any female comes in here…” The zebra moaned as the stallion, Sani, continued on.
“This guy is a weightlifter,” he sang sliding over to a fairly burly Zebra with an eyepatch, “// but I can bench an entire continental shelf.”
The burly Zebra glared at the stallion with his good eye and growled, “Skip to the main bit or I’ll punch you down a deck.”
Sani cleared his throat and slid back to me, almost masking a flinch. Fortunately, I was able to get a word in before he kept going on. “Oi, arschloch! I’m not a mare.”
“But-I-what?” He asked, voice pingponging out of a singing tone to a speaking one.
“I said, ‘I’m not a mare.’” I repeated adding, “arschloch.” again for good measure.
“But the dress, and the well groomed mane, those flanks, and the face?” the completely baffled horn dog asked eyes shrinking to pinpricks of confusion.
“Not. A. Mare.” I repeated again.
“Oh.” He he said, face pulling out of the confusion to something pretty normal. “Okay, just a minute.”
The stallion turned around and quickly zipped off.
Instantly the pub erupted into a chorus of “Yay!” and “Woo!” and even a lone, “Finally!”
The burly Zebra stepped over and gave me a grateful smile, “Clever move, miss. Nopony’s thought to convince Sani they’re a trap before. I’m sorry for that idiot, he tries to jump the bones of every mare he sees. It’s driven all the female crew out of the pub.”
I that moment I realized that I looked so bucking girly that even after violently insisting I was male, apparently only stupid people believed me. Faust’s mane… I needed to do something about that…
“Ja,” I sighed, “he seems like that guy.”
“He is. The real problem is that whole song… Yes Sani, you killed a Gorgon once. Feel free to pick up chicks with that for the rest of time…” The Zebra shook his head and walked back over to his table.
A second later the barpony chuckled and slid another glass of mystery goodness to me. “Everypony’s been dreading that. You’ll get more people’s attention now, and don’t worry nopony’s flirts are that ba- Oh bucking hay he’s back!”
I looked up to see Sani reentering, pushing a white stallion through the doors. A white, clearly Germane stallion. Who was admittedly pretty cute, especially with his long braided Nhorse styled mane.
The new stallion was doing his best to walk around Sani and leave, only to be pushed towards the bar. “I don’t care! I need to recharge the starboard spellbank! I’m on duty!” the white stallion shouted.
“Oh hay… He dragged Ändrin into this.” the short Zebra muttered.
“Look, you’re the only colt here who needs to be paired up.” Sani insisted, pushing the poor unicorn over to the bar with herculean effort.
“You can’t just match make based on sexual pref-” Ändrin’s eyes narrowed as he saw me, “Wow. We pick up a germane mare and you literally push me to her. Buck off you racist fertilizer bag.”
I cleared my throat and muttered in Germane. “Fourth post-war generation…”
Ändrin blinked, frowned, then winced, “Oh… Sorry about the whole… Er- Well this is awkward…”
“See? Guy.” Sani insisted before levering the other stallion onto a barstool, “No hook up. You never get laid, it’s creepy!”
Ändrin rolled his eyes. “On. Duty.”
“You can spare seven minutes!” Sani insisted, giving Ändrin a sly wink.
I couldn’t help but snicker. Seven? Seriously? Ladies and gentlecolts, the fastest stallion alive!
Ändrin rolled his eyes, “I’ll spare three, and not for that.” He turned his attention to me, “Hi, nice to meet somepony from the fatherland. Were you also banished, or are you heading out looking for medical help?”
“Banished?” I asked curiously, they hadn’t banished anypony in sixty years as far as I knew, “How old are you?”
“One eighty and a bit. I was banished at the end of the war for… Well…” He scratched a hoof behind his head awkwardly, “I was one of the biomancers they forced to work on Project Pureblood. So again, sorry for the massive failure that is your genetics. They asked to do the impossible at spellpoint… Hay, I didn’t even know they were using the spells we were making until six months into the war. They brought me in by claiming it was theoretical work.”
Wait. What? This stallion was one of the wizards… Oooo! Opportunity!
“It’s okay.” I said sincerely, “They tell us das whole story in school now. I know they forced the mages to do it… Sure someponies still say you should have refused but, you know.”
Ändrin nodded, “It’s not easy to say no with a charged horn pointed at your heart. Still, I’m really sorry. I tried my best to make my part work after learning the truth… Couldn’t stop the army from using it, but I could minimize the damage. Er, not too many ponies have developed Cancrum Oris or Polyglandular Addison’s Disease have they?”
“Nein, those are pretty rare. At least, from what I’ve seen.” I answered truthfully.
He let out a huge sigh of relief, “Good. There’s some weight off my shoulders… There is a reason the pony kinds are separate. The four types do NOT like to be blended…”
I nodded again, “Ja, I uh… I actually learned biomancy myself. It’s my talent. I was using it to fix ponies until I had to leave. They don’t banish anymore but… We'll… Social pressure.”
“You learned biomancy?” He asked with a shocked expression.
“Ja.” I answered.
“In Germany. Post war.”
“Ja. It is my talent. So I ordered books from overseas.” I explained.
“How did you get them through customs?” He demanded.
“I put my father's name on the packages. Sie don’t check nobles mail.” I answered.
Ändrin shook his head, looking pretty impressed. “Good work fraulein. It’s a shame the art is banned… We did so much good before the war. I used to regenerate lost limbs. Good times.”
“Sooo, you don’t hate the art?” I asked carefully.
“No.” Ändrin answered standing up, “It’s a tool. Just like all other schools of magic. Can’t blame a tool when it’s user does evil things with it.”
“Then, could you maybe teach me some things? I’m having trouble with-”
Ändrin cut me off with a raised hoof, “Yes. I could. I also would enjoy talking about biomancy in depth with somepony again. But, I am on duty. I’ll be here in five hours for a drink before dinner. Meet me here then. Er, but before I go, how much do you know?”
“I stabilised myself.” I answered, telling him the most impressive of all my accomplishments.
“Wait,” Ändrin asked, with a disbelieving look, “You don’t have any ongoing conditions?”
“Nein. I fixed everything.”
“How?”
“My parents received transplanted kidneys.” I said slowly, “So I have some non-Germane DNA. It was tiny, but I used it to make parts to replace broken parts of me until I stopped being sick.”
Ändrin gave me an impressed smile, “So you’re about where I was back when everything went to horse apples. Great! I can show you plenty, and you’re not going to be asking year one questions… I’ll see you later, uh…”
“Lily.” I answered.
“Lily. Nice.” He nodded and trotted off, “Five hours then ‘Miss’ Lily.”
I watched him leave with a mixed happy and sad feeling. It would be great to finally learn more than what my books could teach me. It sucked that I was only going to learn it because I found somepony who had to become a pirate after the art was outlawed. Ah well, at least I could finally learn a few new tricks!
I picked my glass of mystery drink up and took a sip, returning to time passing. As well as resolving to not ask what exactly this stuff was. Because now it had a hint of blueberry in it.
David - 8th of Plantation '15 EoH - Afternoon - (8 days at sea)
To my surprise and joy it turned out that the Night Jewel was less a sailing ship, and more of a steam ship. Sort of. A good chunk of the ship ran on what the crew referred to as magitech. Simple machines animated or controlled by simple spells. It was really interesting to learn how the small systems contributed to big things like making the ship’s oars move on their own.
This must have been what Azur was talking about by ‘behind the times’. It makes perfect sense for a species which can use magic to develop it for practical purposes. This sort of magic could be used and repaired by non-mages, sort of like an easy mode to engineering. I don’t know why I didn’t consider this as a possibility before.
The magitech systems were fun to work on. Equestria had similar technology, I was figuring on getting into this sort of work as a career. According to a few crewmen, the Night Jewel was an old ship, so she needed a lot of repairs, meaning I got to get enough experience working on her to decide I liked it. While a large chunk of the crew wanted nothing to do with me, the ship’s engineers were overjoyed to learn what hands can do.
Especially when it meant they didn’t have to fix the bilge pump.
I had assumed this was just something that broke a lot and thus frustrated the hell out of everyone when it broke again. I was wrong. The reason was far more simple.
I simply didn’t know what a bilge pump was. It’s the pump used to get rid of any water that gets to the bottom of a ship so the ship won't fill with water. The water can come from leaks in the hull, rain, or any other water that spills down onto the decks.
This means the water usually picks up oils, dirt, grime, chemicals, and all sorts of crap. So it smells like rotting Taco Bell shits in a frat house. When the pump fails, like it had now, there would be standing pools of gross in the bilge. So fixing the pump mean wading through a hundred yards of shit-smelling foulness the likes of which can only be created by a dozen skunks, White Castle grease, and a deranged drunken scientist.
Or a roommate named Doug.
“Christ…” I grumbled as I looked up into the innards of the pump.
“That’s not my name.” Glowing Forge muttered angrily.
Batponies were a new thing for me. While I had to admit that they were fucking adorable, they didn’t seem to understand using names as curses. Or at least this pinkish-gray mare didn’t.
“Just pass me a pipe wrench. The Archimedes Screw’s jammed up, gonna have to take it out.” I replied with a sigh as I held out a hand.
“Here.” she said as I felt the tool press into my hand. “The hay is an Archimedes screw?”
I started to unbolt the case from around the screw before grunting an answer, “The big screw here, with the wide threads, which does the actual work of moving the water up.”
“Oh! We have a different name for that.” she replied, shuffling some tools around.
“Figured you would.” I grunted again.
It was hard to have a dog’s nose and be down here. Especially when I pried the cover off and found the entire interior was gummed up with what looked to be rancid fat.
“Oh fucking hell!” I shouted, trying not to puke and ad to the smell.
“Ew! The hell is that?” Glowing moaned.
“If I didn’t know better, rotting bacon grease.” I informed. “Pass me a rag, I’ll need to pull it out.”
“How the buck did that get in here? We don't have a crematorium, or even pigs.” Glowing said, gagging a little as she set a rag into my hand. “Wait, how do you know what that smells like?”
“I’m an omnivore and pigs are delicious.” I explained. “I also have had many roommates who wouldn’t clean up after cooking.”
I could feel Glowing being uncomfortable with that as I started to scrape the rancid fat and… tar? The fuck?
“I mean… I understand pegasi eating fish. They’re fish. But pigs I mean those are really close to ponies.” Glowing said, presumably in a roundabout way to try and learn if I had ever eaten a pony.
If I wasn’t focusing 100% on now throwing up from the scent and feel of the lard-rot-tar-ball I was pulling out of this mess, I probably wouldn’t have instantly replied. “Like hell it is! Pork is nothing like horse. Horse is horrible. Bitter, stringy, tough… It’s like trying to eat a slab of beef jerky an inch thick that tastes like this shit smells.”
“W-what?” Glowing eeped.
Oh. Right. Trying to appear civilized. Lie time, don’t say your grandmother butchered her horses when they died. “A friend of mine had some really weird funeral rights. It was a culturally appropriate thing to do. I do however regret it because you guys taste incredibly bad.”
“O-oh… So like a griffon funeral, where close family eat part of the deceased?” she asked.
Ooookay… Glad to be far away from fucking Griffons! “Yeah, something like that. Don’t worry I don’t think I could hurt a pony who wasn’t attacking me. You guys are fucking adorable.”
A few seconds passed, a few more wads of gross were removed. “Two questions to help me think about something other than this smell.” Glowing announced, “First why do you swear like a foal? Just say buck for Luna’s sake!”
“I’m not cursing in Equish. I’m swearing in my own language.” I explained with an amused grin.
“Wait… Really?”
“Yes really.”
“Huh.” Glowing said in a genuinely interested tone. “Neat.”
“What's the next question?” I asked pulling one of the last clumps out of the mechanism.
“Oh! Right!” Glowing said shaking herself out of a train of thought. “How the hay did a Diamond Dog join the Hospitlars?”
“Excuse me?” I asked looking out from under the screw in confusion.
She pointed with a hoof to my sleeve, “You have their crest on your jacket… You’re one of their knight’s right? I mean if not you really shouldn’t wear their crest.”
“That arm band is used by my homeland to designate combat medics.” I explained. I wasn’t too fazed that another group was using the same symbol. It was just a red plus sign after all, pretty basic shape-color combo. “Who are the Hospitlars?”
Glowing made a small bemused sound, “Huh… If I get the wording right,a combat medic means you’re a soldier and a doctor at once, right?”
“Yeah.” I answered, getting the last of the rotting crap out of the pump and starting to wipe the mechanism down.
“Well the Hospitlars are pretty close to that. They’re an Equestrian knight order who responds to monster attacks… Except for Ponyville of course. It’s got it’ own safety measures and stuff.”
“Woah woah woah, wait, back up!” I said tossing a hand up to stop her. “Did you say Ponyville?”
“Yeah. I grew up there.” Glowing commented. “Why?”
“That is the literal dumbest name I have ever heard of! It literally means ‘Small-horse Town’ and it’s a town populated by ponies... Who the fuck named it that?” I demanded, actually a little upset by the name.
Glowing giggled, “Oh boy, you are going to HATE how Equestrians name cities! Hehe!”
“Oh god…” I moaned, “Please tell me there aren’t any-”
“The capital city is called Canterlot.” Glowing informed smugly.
I think that pun actually hurt me. That or the smell was that of a toxic gas. Maybe both. “... No comment.”
I quickly bolted the cover back onto the screw, and Glowing gave it a thump. Apparently Batponies were able to channel magic through their hooves. Nothing like a unicorn and their horn, but a good thump could get magic already present in things flowing.
The pump hummed to life. I gave it a satisfied nod. “Good! We can finally get the hell out of this smell hole.”
“So there’s a city in Equestria called Cloudsdale…” Glowing started.
“... It’s built in the clouds isn’t it?” I sighed.
“Mmmmhm!” Glowing said flashing me a grin that made her bright orange eyes twinkle.
I shook my head, trying to let the irrational anger wash over me… and failing. “I swear if there is a city made of crystals called-”
Glowing put a hoof on my shoulder gently. “Shhh…. There is, it’s called the Crystal Empire, but shhh! It’s okay. Not everyplace is given a bad pun name.”
“I have to know… why?” I begged.
“It’s just a thing. I’m sure your species has just a thing it does.” Glowing commented. “Anyways… we should probably file a report. About that gunk I mean. I don’t even know how it got on the ship in the first place.”
“That’s, actually that’s a great point.” I said, thankful for the distraction from the prior topic. “Let’s get on that. It's probably nothing, but well, you never know.”
To be honest, it probably wasn’t nothing. I made a mental note to keep a bit more alert. If that had been sabotage, then Jade and I were not out of the woods yet.
Jade - 12th of Plantation '15 EoH - Afternoon - (12 days at sea)
“No not like that! Pinion feathers at three degrees, not five!” Lightstride groaned, rubbing her face with a hoof. “Didn’t your mom teach you how to fly?”
I gave her a short blush, “Uh… Not with pegasi wings.”
“Oh. Right…” the cosmic latte and turquoise mare gave me back an embarrassed grin as she hovered in front of me. “In that case, is flying with bug wings that different?”
I had to give her another embarrassed blush, “Yes… I just kinda buzz, tilt, and go.”
“Yikes…” Light bit her lip for a moment, “Okay, watch me one more time.”
She blinked up about fifty feet. I’d asked Light to teach me how to fly since the first time I saw her do that. For a split second her body arcs with a round nimbus of blue-white energy and then pow! she’s a short ways away, faster than you can see her leave.
Sadly those super-fast ‘jumps’ as she calls them are her talent. I didn’t quite understand what she meant by ‘short superluminal jumps’, because apparently it wasn’t teleporting. But man I wished I could do it too.
At least she agreed to show me how to fly properly. Or rather, said it was a matter of honor if she knowingly didn’t teach a pegasus to fly. I’d told her I was actually a changeling, and that I just kinda liked being a Pegasus at the moment, but that didn’t change her opinion at all.
We had spent a few hours each day for the whole trip so far practicing. Light worked in the crow's nest, and insisted that teaching me wouldn’t stop her from her duties, so the Captain had okayed everything. I’d done okay so far, but Light wasn’t going to be happy with me just being able to fly, oh no, apparently I had to be able to fly amazingly.
I watched the mare turn a few loops and spins while circling the ship. I wasn’t just watching like a pony though, I’d shifted my eyes back to my real ones. Changeling eyes are much better at picking up details from a distance, and as a scout I should be able to mimic things I saw enough times.
I blinked, and suddenly Light was inches in front of me, a second before the ‘woom!’ sound of her arriving. “Okay! Didja get it now?”
“Um, maybe? Look, I’m already able to fly, why do I need to learn stunts?” I asked curiously.
“Because you’re going to Equestria.” Light answered, “If you spend any time as a pegasus in the air, Rainbow Dash, fastest mare alive, is going to notice you and want to race. You need to be really good, so she asked where you learned to fly, and then you can mention me and then maybe I’ll get to meet her… and uh… not puss out this time… So yeah! Back to learning how to conserve speed while performing loops and rolls!”
I raised an eyebrow, was that a crush I tasted? “I don’t know, that seems really implausible. It’s a big country right? I’m not going to run into any given pony.”
“Yeah you will.” Light said, rolling her eyes. “You’re the last of your hive right? So you’ll need to seek asylum. So you’ll have to go to a Princess, and it’s gonna be Twilight because the other Princesses made diplomacy her job, and Dash is her best friend so you’ll meet her at some point.”
“How do you even know that?” I asked with a confused expression.
“Gah! … Put your eyes back that looks really creepy!” Light exclaimed, wincing at my expression.
I quickly shifted my eyes back to green pegasus ones. “Sorry.”
“As for your answer uh…” She looked around for a few moments then coughed, “Stalking.”
“Stalking?” I asked curiously.
“I’m not good at approaching ponies I like, okay? Those are normal ponies too, not Rainbow motherbucking Dash! She broke the freaking sound barrier like a total badflank! As a filly! Without trying! I can’t top that… Not with my little like, mile max hops... So I stalked her… for um… since we were in the wonderbolts academy… But I uh... arranged a date once I felt I knew enough to not buck it up, panicked at the last moment and ran off… I wound up joining this crew actually… So yeah, less about my overreactions and more flying!” Light said urgently.
So I had tasted a crush! Ah ha! It was delicious! Also energizing.
“Sure, let’s go.” I said flapping to move up a little.
Light zipped ahead of me, and started to lead me on the same course of non-existent obstacles. I was almost able to keep up with her this time! But she still was staying a few body lengths ahead of me. Maybe three or-
Wait, what was that?
A small trickle of water was running down the side of the ship. That was odd. If you put a hole in a boat wasn’t water supposed to flow into the ship not out?
“What’s the holed up? Tired?” Lighting asked zipping over.
“No,” I said shaking my head, “What’s with the water pouring out there?”
“Oh that’s probably just someone dumping the sewa- Oh buck! That’s the fresh water tank!” Light vanished in a nimbus of energy, a half second later the flow of water stopped.
Another half second and she was back, grabbing me by the shoulder, “We got to go to the Captain now! Someone dumped like, almost all of the water.”
“We can’t just make more fresh water?” I asked in confusion.
“Not since we marooned our transmuter last month for attempted murder.” Light groaned.
“Ah so… Emergency time?” I asked rhetorically.
“Yeah, with a vengeance.” Light confirmed, zipping over to the captain’s chamber doors, and landing “Come on!”
I quickly followed, and landed just as Light’s furious knocks resulted in the door being pulled open. I gulped as Captain Sudi’s huge frame literally filled the doorway. I knew he was a niceish guy, but still, his looming frame of imposement was… well imposing.
“From your knocking rapid pace, I assume you have something important to report, Miss Light. What is it?” He asked quickly and bluntly.
“Aye sir!” Light said, snapping a salute, “Someone's sabotaged the main water tank. The reserve is full, but we have at best eleven days of water left. Jade spotted the tank being dumped a minute ago, and when I checked it out someone had taken the valve off the emergency release after opening it. I was able to close it with my teeth, but still, the valve was removed. So we have a saboteur aboard.”
Oh… crap… That was worse than I thought. I’d figured someone had accidentally bumped a lever or something. Actual sabotage-
Sun’s light! It was probably someone who was after me!
Sudikahmen nodded grimly. “Then David and Glow were right about the bilge pump… Someone wants to force us to go ashore.”
I gulped, “I uh… it’s probably someone after me… So you know… you can put us off the ship if you really-”
“Out of the question Miss Jade.” the Captain said with a dismissive hoof wave, “I never go back on my word when I can help it. Miss Light, you said there was eleven days of water left?”
“Aye sir. Not quite enough to reach Zebrica.” She said, ears drooping.
“Yes, about five days short… We have too many crewmen at the time to ration more than an extra two days… My fleet is too far away to resupply us in time… We’ll have to stop at Crookshank.” He said decisively.
“Are you sure sir?” Light asked timidly.
“Yes. Whomever our saboteur is they will be aware of our position, and thus know that Crookshank Isle is the only freshwater source within range. However, as we can not make more water ourselves, we have little choice. We simply will have to be extra cautious and ready for the inevitable attack.” he answered briskly. “Miss Light, Miss Jade, establish a round the clock guard on our food and water supplies. I will be organizing a deck by deck sweep for our saboteur.”
“Aye sir!” Light said snapping a salute.
The Captain’s door closed. I could feel my hearts race in panic. “I’m not ever going to be safe…”
Light giggled, “Pff! You’re safer than anybug I know. You got a whole freaking pirate crew ready to stomp a mudhole in any jerk about to attack you. Besides, this is probably the Stalliongrad king’s attempt to force us to stop embarrassing him each year. It happened every other time or so.”
“R-realy?” I asked nervously.
“Totally! Hasn’t been able to do anything to us yet though! Don’t worry.” She soothed. “Now follow me, we got to get that guard established.”
I nodded and followed her as she trotted off down the pyramid’s stairs.”So, you’re sure it’s not a trap?”
“Oh no, it’s a trap! Just not for you in all likelihood. I mean who even knew you got on board?” She asked.
“Huh… True.” I mused thoughtfully.
“Now come on, get guards set up, get lunch, and then more flying.” Light said rattling off each event like she was scheduling the whole-
Oh. She actually was scheduling the whole day.
“We can still practice with all this going on?” I asked in concern.
“Hey, if we stop everything because fear the badguys win. We just put up the precautions, then go back to training you for my benefit… Er, and also your benefit.”
That was a good point. I couldn’t help but reflect it. Light was completely right. If I just let fear rule me, then my enemies did win. I decided I would try my best to be braver in the future. I was going to be a queen one day after all. Noling likes a scaredy cat for their Queen.
I would be better than that. I would make a home everyling could feel safe in… As soon as I figured out how to feel safe myself. Fortunately, I seemed to have a good teacher for that.
“Thanks Light.” I said
“No problem.” She replied. “I know how much fear can cost you. Now, what are we gonna do?”
“Set up guards, get lunch, then train more.” I replied quickly.
“Damn right! I’m thinking a daisy sandwich… As for you um… huh, do you guys even have food stuff?” Light asked.
I giggled, “Just keep thinking about Dash, that’s delicious.”
Light turned a bright red, and remained like that for about an hour. I decided it would be mean to tell her that her reaction was also tasty.
Oh David there is still. Manehattan, Baltimare, Detrot, and Saddle Arabian Overusedpuns
No Seriously a game put that as one of the Saddle Arabian cites.
6682533 I may have to use that for a city someplace myself. >>
just great...
6682558 Er... I hope I didn't disappoint you with this chapter :c
Many jokes, many references, some foreshadowing no one has picked up on (but really should have by now), and also a special character who is hrrmurhermrrrmm... But out of all that, the one that got me the most was this one.
Yes, with a vengance!
Hey! I have a question, are you open with OC changeling hives? Because if you do you can use my hive. Here is its description,The shadow hive is the most mysterious of the changeling hives in that they don't need to change into ponies to get love. They get love by absorbing ambient love in their surroundings when they hitchhike in the shadows of other races. They have the ability to dissolve into living shadows to hide and spy on the governments of the many races of the world, including other changeling hives.
Their shell and eye color is a deep emerald color with bioluminescence on the tip their horns. They live in emerald mines that they mine emeralds so that they can make three weapons that are unique to only them. The solders have a gauntlet on their right foreleg that has an emerald inside that when the changeling's magic is used on it, it ignites into a green blade. This emerald points away from the solder's body. The honor guards of the changeling hive have a staff that has an emerald pointing upwards on the inside top of it, when its ignited the blade forms a trident shape. The king's staff has two emeralds, one on top pointing to the front and one on the bottom pointing to the back of the staff. When the two emeralds are ignited they form two curved blades with the top one curved downwards and the bottom one curved upwards.
They are ruled by a king named Zulu, The Watcher. He is a patient minded ruler who is very friendly with some of the mayors of Equestria, including the mayors of Manehattan, Filydelphia, and Ponyville by keeping track of what happens in the two cities and one town and recording them and giving a written report for the mayors with out anypony else knowing about him and his hive. He controls a huge spy network around the world so that he will always know the happenings of the world.
They also have recordings of all of the histories of the other races ever since they were formed. This includes history of the events that happened during Discord's rule over the ponies of Equestria when all other history of it was lost.
6682569 I am a bit open with things. I do like some of your ideas, especially the blades... I may conciter using this in a story some time, with some slight tweaks to fit the world lore.
6682539 Trust me I planning on having it in my Love Seriously story.
6682580 Ok, thanks for seeing about using my hive.
6682561 oh no, the chapter was great, I was just commenting on the sabotages. Exactly what the characters didn't need.
The plot thickens, we have a saboteur, our hero's are sailing into a trap, and the whole of the pirate crew is all 'meh, just shoot the bad guys'. Exciting as always!
6682807 Ah gotcha.
The plot thickens....which means sit down so we can read! You've had quite enough cakes, Celestia, you're blocking your own sun!
More seriously, Azur's getting tutelage from an old school biomancer....he's going to become quite the force to be reckoned with at this rate! Not that he's a pushover as it is, but more tricks and more new spells is always a good thing. Meanwhile, Dave is taking an interest in magitech engineering and looks to perhaps be building a friendship with a thestral native to Ponyville, which will undoubtedly help immensely in getting into Equestria and knowing how to approach Bookhorse, and Jade's taking lessons in pegasus flying from someone who knows Dash (and likely that circle by extension) and is crushing on the chromatic blur. With some combat training and training in speed flying and stunt flying, that can make Jade a rather potent fighter in her own right. Skirmishers are invaluable, and well trained and directed can easily tip the scales of a battle.
And then we also have the saboteur(s). This could be a couple Swarm changelings, or once again the king of Idiotland, but either way it's going to cause grief in the near future. Although....it's also possible that it is Dusk working to try to slow the ship down since they're ahead of schedule. It doesn't seem like ways that she would do so, though.
>Open fimfiction
>Go to High Priority bookshelf
>The Queen Is Dead has an update
>MFW.gif
6685217 Dont make me update it again today to see if I can cause headsplodes...
Ooh, this certainly turned my expectations on its head - i almost expected them to be already disembarking in Zebrica this chapter, but looks like things won't go that easy for Jade and co. Oh well, more fun times with pirate adventures!
Though a saboteur? Hmmm ... I think the biggest plot twist at this point would be if it turned out the scoundrel actually is the king's agent
I'm sure it's nothing as simple as that - I'm actually putting my money on good ol' Duskie. She did arrange for an Equestrian army on the border, but she also mentioned the trio were moving too fast and would arrive ahead of the swarm and her talk with the Princesses wouldn't have changed this. And lo and behold - the ship conveniently starts breaking down and loses its water? I think It's Dusk herself that's been poking holes in the ship and clogging up the pipes in order to get the trio to slow down and match her timteable. Yup, fifteen bits on Dusk being the culprit!
And I guess now we know how the gang will end up meeting Twilight (among others) - I mean yeah, Clover's book would have drawn her like a frothing moth to a flame anyway, but it makes sense for Jade to seek audience with Twi specifically if she is in charge of Equestria's diplomatic efforts (Which have been going smoothly - delegates learn quickly to smile and nod when her eye starts twitching )
And poor Azur, I knew it was only a matter of time before some pirate mistook him for a mare and tried hitting on him, and it was a silly buffoon to boot! Yup, Azur's right - he really should do something about that :P
But a biomancy teacher for him? Nice, that was an unexpected twist and i can't wait to see what Azur ends up learning from it. Biomancy is freakishly useful as it is, someone who has mastered it should have no trouble finding work as a high caliber doctor or something. Stalliongrad was stupid to not make use of that talent. Especially ina country with otherwise medieval hygiene and medical standards, this would be invaluable 0_o Oh well, at least finding work in Equestria shouldn't be hard for him.
And I loved Dave's reactions over the Equestrian naming conventions - all those puns must sting And the saying about glass stones and throwing stones came to mind when he was freaking out over Ponyville, considering there is a townin US called Humansville
It's pretty neat how he has managed to find work as an impromptu engineer of sorts - and I see it's becoming something of a running gag how Dave continues to miss Azur's actual implications about how far Stalliongrad is behind times and put his own spin on things. It will be hilarious once they get to actual civilization, I can feel it
6686758
My "Ease-o-meter" said some strife was needed.
Challenge motherbucking-accepted!
"Hey, can I get in on that?" "Don't you already know what's going to happen next?" ">> N-nooo..."
"I demand you make Equestria lower it's import tariffs for our nation!" "Sure, if Twilight is okay with that." "Who do you work for, her or me?" "Whomever is most likely to melt me at the moment." "... Fair enough."
It's useful for so much more than mere medicine too. Safe GMOs. Imagine simply creating a tree which grows pears that naturally contain antidepressants.
Wanna guess where David was born? Hint, it's Polk County, Missouri. /me giggle snorts.
6686799
Should be renamed to "Strife-o-meter", given how few things go our hapless trio's way. With sections of "Strife", "Moar Strife" and "Peace is a lie, there is only Strife". A certain pink pony whispered to me that strife is good for adventure stories
I wonder if that means that a king's agent will actually turn out to be the culprit, or you will devise a plot twist more surprising than that
The true secret behind Equestria's diplomatic success revealed! It's classified as purple, occasionally fuzzy and potentially hazardous to one's health!
So ... Azur has a chance at earning enough bits to afford a non-Equestrian architecture house for himself ? :P
How common are biomancers in Equestria, assuming they practice it locally? I can imagine the country picked up a fair bit after they were mass-expelled from Germaneigh.
So his aversion to puns stems from a childhood trauma from having to practically live in one? :P
6686952
It actually goes "impossible", "extra luck and skill required", "luck and skill required", "skill needed", "anypony can do it", "oddly simple", "pro-idiot difficulty", "too easy...", "Obvious trap".
"Meep to left field: fire for effect!"
"I told you to be firm!" "I couldn't! She looked at me like this i.imgur.com/GcAIIhd.jpg " "... Uh... You know what, we'll lower our taxes in their imports instead." "SEE!?!" "Shut up. This never happened!"
Equestria: Peace through weaponized cuteness.
Pfff, he's never been so he's only heard the roomers. Remember, Manehatten is a thing. Ponyville, Canterlot and other similar cities are simply "heritage sites" and maintain the historical appearance of their hayday as a means for the nation's history to stay alive. Azur, like many foreigners think that Equestrians have advanced tech but live in Stalliongrad style houses thanks to pictures... Ponyville's houses only LOOK medieval, they are actually environmentally sealed via standard housing enchantments.
Most of them were executed... Only those who were forced to work on the project were exiled. SO about 40 could still live, the other hundred or so were shot as they willingly participated. There was no Equestrian version of Operation Paperclip. Meaning since the Biomancy School is VERY complicated (Twilight is a B student in it, to her vast anger) there are few to go arround. Azur has plenty of job opportunities. Especially since Necromancy is illegal in Equestria, and thus no School aside from Biomancy can magically say, revece necrosis.
More like a "Oh god please dont be as stupid as humans!" AND childhood trauma...
6686977
The breezies did it!
First attempted via Fluttershy, but no one could get her to turn up at the meetings. So they settled for Twilight instead
To be fair I thought he was complaining about aesthetics specifically - i didn't realize Azur thought the houses were literally of "medieval" construction, as opposed to it being simple window dressing. I thought it went without saying the houses featured all applicable modern comforts, with the outside appearance being simple stylistic choice. If he really thinks like that, I guess Dave isn't the only one in for a few surprises in Equestria
Ha, I could imagine the test results to that being delivered to her via mail, because no one dared to do so in person
And imagine everyone's terror when she inevitably turn up to re-take the test
I have a feeling Twilight will latch on to Azur like a barnacle once she realizes she can talk high-level biomancy with him ... assuming she can be pried away from Clover's book. Yeah, sounds like Azur won't be lacking in employment opportunities.
6687073
Woah... that's the PARKING LOT left of left field... At least until the end where you find out how Chrysalis got so powerf- I mean uh, no.
To be fair, the art demands you have a PHD level education in all of the biosciences. Even Twilight would take a few years of solid trying to get there. I mean come on, to use the school you need to know at least:
Anatomy, Biochemistry, Bioengineering, Biomechanics, Biophysics, Biotechnology, Cell Biology, Cognitive biology, Developmental biology, Embryology, Evolutionary biology, Genetics, Epigenetics, Histology, Integrative biology, Microbiology, Molecularbiology, Neurobiology, Physiology, Quantum biology, and Zoology.
That's not all of bioscience, but it's a big chunk of it. Sure, there is a good amount of overlap there, but each of those it's it's own field within bioscience... and you'd need to know at least all of that to start successfully altering biology. Since from what we see in show, Twilight is more of a physics pony, it's not hard to see how she might struggle (but eventually triumph) to learn Biomancy.
6687772
Damn, that's a lot of fields
How old was Azur again? I'm not sure if we ever got his age but suddenly I have a feeling he might be older than he looks/acts
As for Twily, I can see how she could take a while to get there - that B rank probably makes her eye twitch every time she thinks about it, but it's not like she can devote her life to it - I mean, she has her Princess duties (even if in the show whatever she does seems entirely self-appointed and she's left to her own devices otherwise ), whatever shenanigans she gets up to with her friends, the occasional need to save the world (otherwise known as tuesdays) and a coltfriend (and a potential family on the way down the road ? ) and whatever other experiments she seems to run and study otherwise ... ya, A grade biomancy probably will take her some time.
But hey, I guess the saying that she has all the time in the world applies fairly literally here - sooner or later she''l get there and erase that horrendous blemish of a B from her reputation ... even if I imagine there are thousands of ponies who would kill for the chance to be even D ranged biomancers, never mind B ones. Which would obviously be lost on Twily, which is why we like her so much
6688106
It's about 1/3rd of the biology fields. You would need to know more if you wanted to specialize with your Biomancy. One reason the art is so rare is it's hard to learn all of that. It was invited in Equestria 300 years ago, but realy only took off in Germaney thanks to it's excellent education system (College is free and mandatory for a minimum of two related degrees).
38, the human equivilent of 22. His talent is why he's a fully trained (basic) Biomancer and that young. He jsut gets it. His talent dosen't make him good at the actual magic, it makes him just kind of get biology once it's explained. He's a selective info sponge. If he read the sequence of a specific gene he could quote it back to you exactly decades later. But, in other fields, he's average or below average, like everypony else. Basically, he just had to read the textbooks once and ask a few questions and boom, he got it.
Actually, it's most always a Saturday for some reason.
She dose intend to adopt at some point. (Alicorns can't reproduce naturaly. It's not that they are steril, it's that they change a lot inside and are biologically (but not culturally) a diffrent species from ponies. You would need a male alicorn to reproduce, and one dosen't exist as far as anypony knows.)
Yeah, she dosent get that even a D student would be able to open up a cosmetic clinic and change mane types, eye color, fur color, patterns, the simple stuff. Hell a B student could bust out some serious things, like "No worries, I fixed your kidneys." an A student is more advanced than that "I optimized your muscle system, you have the most endurance your genes allow for now.", while a master of the art is like, "Dude... wanna be a bunny today? It's fun!"
6688206
Free and Mandatory college? That's both impressive and scary at the same time, those Germanes sure take their education seriously. Twilight would love the place I bet :P
Yeah, I think I had a brainfreeze moment there and forgot that Biomancy's his actual special talent. Makes sense he would simply "get it" with minimal input, kinda like how Twilight simply "gets" and can reproduce most magic by taking a glance at it. Something tells me Azur could go faaaar in the field if he got the time and resources to train properly ... potential best biomancer yet?
I see what you did there
Hummm, you know, with all the talk about Biomancy this sounds like the perfect problem for a potent biomancer to take a crack at and an excellent (potential) side plot-point. Nothing like being able to adjust someone's biology to handle biology-related conception issues.
How many masters of the art are out there? I have a feeling they are very rare and valuable, especially after the purge ...
Hmmm, but wait - didn't Twilight herself manage to successfully change the species of some creature on two occasions? I mean the rats she turned into horses who were meant to pull their Galla carriage before Opal chased them off, and then there was the time when she turned herself and her friends into breezies (I'm not counting her turning her parents into potted plants and that one poor bird-orange hybrid among intentional successes :P).
Or is she simply haphazardly good at some parts of Biomancy but less so in others depending on fields? Say A/Master at species transformation but D/C at actual genetic manipulation and muscle optimization and what not, averaging a B overall?
6688388
It is, and it's part of what led to their nations problems. Not every intellectual idea is a good one, and in Germaney, EVERYPONY is an intellectual, or at least trained in multiple disciplines.
Aside from the School's creator, yes. But that's because as a vampire, she's had 3000+ years of practice.
Shhhhh! Spoilers >>
Three. Star Cluster von Scârtâi (The mare who invented the School. She appears in a story of mine.), and two others who are bout Germanes living in Prance, who teach the School at two rival schools of Wizardry.
Yes, but that's simple Transmutation. It wears off after the magic's energy is consumed. Biomancy actually induces permanent change, even after the magic is consumed the changes persist.
Yeah, that was clearly a wild magic surge... Er, if you'll excuse the D&D term for "You've ripped a hole into the source of magical energy and it's leaking out with absolutely no guidance whatsoever."
This is kind of true, she was able to us esome of Transmutation's principals (The schools are similar) and rules to bootstrap herself up into some ares of Biomancy, but she remains a B student due to lacking the information required to say, immunize an organism to disease, and other such things. THe problem is a lack of knowledge of what to change and how.
6692608 I should totally make a character called Thermite, that kidna works as a pony name. Have a cookie!
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQdk_bOXNCCWPH0f1sUU4RPpE5j5vaQwB9h_NNcKu4sFinbUoKzGw
Also thanks for commenting on an older chapter! I like i when readers share their thoughts, even on old stuff, and I always answer questions people have.
6692860 Don't worry, your not the only one who likes the lil guy like that ^.^
6692608
6692766
Maybe not best pony, but (s)he definitely has the hottest body.
6693351 I literally laughed out loud at that! Thank you ^.^
6693366
I feel like if you do make thermite pony a thing they should be a cryomancer just to mess with everyone.
6693443 I fucking love you
smartcanucks.ca/wp-content/uploads/2008/06/thrills-gum1.jpg
6696900 Oh. My. God. That's awesome! Jsut for that, have a new chapter! On the house. Right now!
You know, as annoying as Dudebro the pony was, he did manage to introduce Lilly to exactly the pony he was unknowingly needing to meet. Plus, his reaction towards finding out that she was male, while not subtle, was clearly good-hearted.
Heh.
Hahaha!
Yikes, no kidding.
Sabotage? Crap
That is a really roundabout way to arrange a meet-up with Dash. But on the other hand, she might just be really interested in that superluminal jump technique, as well as in the pony that can do them.
Wow. So literally a date that went so badly she ran away and joined a pirate gang. That's gotta be an academy record.
More sabotage? Craaap.
Think of it as good practice for when you meet Twilight.
For Jade
6704465 It wasnt a date that went bad, it reads more like she was afraid of it going bad to the point where she ran off. It does say she panicked and ran off at the last moment, in fact its those exact words.
6844233 It's called exaggeration for comedic effect.
Sabotage?! I'll have my men look into it immediately!
Sani made me spit out my drink.
He, (and by extension, you) has/have a damn good taste in music.
The drink was bourbon, by the way, so thank you and fuck you.
6682539
I found a mistake
you meant to put trap I know this base on the next sentence
I have heard of human cultures that were exactly like that. Yuck. All the crap we put in our bodies nowadays? I'm sure we taste far worse than David's description of horse.
You poor pup, you have no idea.
It's the principle of the thing, Jadey-dear. You have wings. She has wings. You don't know how to use your wings. She does. This is a travesty that nopony with blue sky in their soul can stand for and must correct immediamente!
Yeah, that sounds about right.
I kinda just like Azur’s names combined as a whole. It’s hard to pronounce, but I like Azurlily.
I see me and David are on the same page about batponies, that’s nice.
10769471 Thanks. I lived in Germany for a bit, so I tried my best to make a name that sounds like a pony name, but in German.