A thousand years ago, the Crystal Empire was banished to another plane of reality, frozen in time. With its disappearance, many lives were affected and changed. Time in the Empire has now resumed, returning in sync with the rest of Equestria.
A year has come and gone since its return. Much and little has transpired since it vanished into thin air, and the clock is ticking once again for it's denizens. However, not all scars have mended. Many lives are now intertwined in ways unseen by the naked eye, but they stand the test of time.
The Alternate Universe tag is only present because the history is only slightly altered (a characters reasoning for taking a particular path)
Disclaimer: I do not own My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic or any images shown, stories, or songs referenced.
Very well done. This hit me harder than I thought it would. You've got a great talent for writing ethereal pieces, and the language you chose drew me deeply into the story. Great descriptions in the story, too. It felt like I was reading the book right there along with them. I especially like how you eventually phase out Tarp's actions of turning the page and focus instead on what's happening in the story. Masterful attention to how words affect tone, that.
Even though this is a setup for a longer story (and I'm SUPER excited to read the main story
), I think it stands very well on its own.
I have a couple suggestions, though these are pretty nit-picky:
–The past tense of "shine" is "shined" or "shone." Maybe it's different in British English or something, but "shun" means something else entirely.
–While the descriptions were overall great and fun to read, I thought they got a bit flowery on occasion, especially at the beginning. "Celestia's orb" irked me.
–I would have personally started with, "The Village of Tell Tale..." or some variation on it, which gives the reader context for where they are, instead of just being somewhere where it's nighttime.
Again, great job. I'll definitely read more of this as it comes out.
6417092 Thanks for the thumbs up and comment! I'm really glad that you liked it. I'll take a look into your suggestions. I didn't even notice the 'shun' bit until now.
When it comes to that, I wanted to describe the world as if someone who was unfamiliar with the landscape stumbled on it, and go into further detail with it. Also, I wasn't too sure how best to start, that's just how it ended up.