Shock n awe
Joined 27th Jun, 2015 ·
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Y'know... I really think this story has potential to be amazing.
You made some mistakes, like: grammar, run-on sentences, a lack of commas, and capitalization.
Also," Shinning "is spelled "Shining". Other than that, great job.
This was definitely a lot better than some beginner story's I've read.
Hopefully this helped, and if not.
I'LL STILL READ IT! YEAAAAH!
Hope to see more soon
I got lost in it and thought it was the end of the story. xD
7856239
I never was good at English class. I won't be able to do any adjustments for at least 4 months. I ship tomarrow for boot.
"She replied and extended her hand to mine and gave it a genital shake i started getting that protective feeling again."
stuffpoint.com/my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic/image/75603-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-lolwat.jpg
>>shock n awe Well I wish you luck, BE THE BEST!
This is awesome. Hope to see more.
I'm intrigue, so I will keep reading. Please sir, may I have more chapters?
7857562
Sure after four months of boot. actually waiting at the airport for the plane.
7857603
I see well have fun in there, and good luck
Have fun I could let you in on alot of the jokes but it's a right of passage just roll with it and have fun. BEWARE OF THE E-4 MAFIA!
I live
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I am the E4 mafia
7857823
It was not fun at all
10420781
Then at the very least is already over right?
10420788
Yep. my bad luck was I got out drove all the way home then next day state lockdown.