ALL THE YES DAMN HARDCOVER YOU KILL ME WITH THE GOOD STUFF AND FINALY SOME TECHNICAL INCEST THAT I CAN ENJOY!!!!!!!!!! I WILL ADD MY GIF LATER CAUSE I HAVE TO GO WORK NOW FOR A FEW HOURS :(((((((((
6784272 The fun thing about being da author is writing parts like that, then thinking to yourself, "Shit, is this the first one? I think it is. I'm going to say it is. Fuck it." Not that I'm depending on my fans to back check every little detail for me, but stuff slips through the cracks. After 33,000 words, I guarantee I will continue to make more mistakes.
This is really original! The fantasy/fetich of having an older experienced figure educating s younger more inexperienced one is quite common and well known; but to have the younger figure instructing the older one... That's new. I never seen or heard of it being done before. Combine that with parent children roles and anthropomorphic cartoon ponies and you got yourself what is perhaps a completely unique piece. That is remarkable, to actually come up with an original fetish that isn't all that weird. This deserves some points.
Hilarious chapter as usual.
6784276 That's understandable, but at this point in the story Deepy is fairly old and mature and has a fair amount of experience under her belt. Just keep that in mind and try to avoid writing statements like this one:
For possibly the first time in her entire life, Deepthroat Cockslut felt a shameful blush steal over her face. "You mean like... watch and give advice?"
Now there is no need to put it in those words when all you are trying to say is that is fairly rare for her to blush in shame. I'm pretty sure this one checks out as far as the story goes, but just because you used the segment "first time in her entire life" it made me stop to ponder it since at her age if this was truly the first time or so she feels ashamed she most likely shouldn't be able to deal with the feeling so well as to suppress it and handle the feeling and at no point be overwhelmed by it. A normal person tends to experience some cases of remarkable feelings of shame in their lifetimes and knows how to deal with the feeling from experience. Someone that isn't experience on a particular feeling is likely to have trouble handle such feeling the way I see it.
Granted, instinct can accomplish amazing things and being overwhelmed isn't necessarily what would occur, but once you consider this you might see why I feel the way you worded it seems a bit extreme.
Sorry about the long comment, I sometimes can get carried away.
This entire chapter was a twist, but it would have been an even bigger twist if Deepy's mom turned out to actually still dislike giving blowjobs after the fact.
I can kind of see Peach Seed's turnaround in retrospect, but it would flow a lot better if you had both other ponies present be a bit more 'flubadub wtfbbq?' Even just a line indicating how really seriously unexpected that was, and a guess at understanding. Like, if Peach Seed had been held back by some misconception that had just been solidly broken. We don't need a complete explanation, but even a total wild guess on Deepy's part would fill the gap.
I haven't read this chapter yet. I'm a little nervous about it. This story has covered a wide variety of interests; underage, older stallions, gangbang, etc. If this is the incest chapter I would be a little uncomfortable with that. Can I please get a brief summary of this chapter before I read?
7141126 i dont think you still need this after 11 weeks, but heck ill put it simple. a daughter teaches her parents a new art by telling them, she is not involved in the act. more of a... vocal aid of encourage. she allows them to get past an awkward barrier in there privet lives.
I think this sums things up best.
More like sex. I don't think everyone has a blowjob-related fetish.
6783151 Watercolor and I got a hearty chuckle out of this, and I love stand up. A+ comment.
6783166 Shhhh. Just go with it.
When you were saying "hooves on" I though Deepy was going to suck her dad's cock.
Very beautiful chapter.
6783202 Yea ok.
This is such heartwarming family drama!
No one is carrying the idiot ball!!!
This was going through my head this entire chapter.
ALL THE YES DAMN HARDCOVER YOU KILL ME WITH THE GOOD STUFF AND FINALY SOME TECHNICAL INCEST THAT I CAN ENJOY!!!!!!!!!! I WILL ADD MY GIF LATER CAUSE I HAVE TO GO WORK NOW FOR A FEW HOURS :(((((((((
6784272 The fun thing about being da author is writing parts like that, then thinking to yourself, "Shit, is this the first one? I think it is. I'm going to say it is. Fuck it." Not that I'm depending on my fans to back check every little detail for me, but stuff slips through the cracks. After 33,000 words, I guarantee I will continue to make more mistakes.
I just imagine you being the tetris god as you wrote this and me being the angels. Why have you forsaken us
This is really original! The fantasy/fetich of having an older experienced figure educating s younger more inexperienced one is quite common and well known; but to have the younger figure instructing the older one... That's new. I never seen or heard of it being done before. Combine that with parent children roles and anthropomorphic cartoon ponies and you got yourself what is perhaps a completely unique piece. That is remarkable, to actually come up with an original fetish that isn't all that weird. This deserves some points.
Hilarious chapter as usual.
6784276 That's understandable, but at this point in the story Deepy is fairly old and mature and has a fair amount of experience under her belt. Just keep that in mind and try to avoid writing statements like this one:
Now there is no need to put it in those words when all you are trying to say is that is fairly rare for her to blush in shame. I'm pretty sure this one checks out as far as the story goes, but just because you used the segment "first time in her entire life" it made me stop to ponder it since at her age if this was truly the first time or so she feels ashamed she most likely shouldn't be able to deal with the feeling so well as to suppress it and handle the feeling and at no point be overwhelmed by it. A normal person tends to experience some cases of remarkable feelings of shame in their lifetimes and knows how to deal with the feeling from experience. Someone that isn't experience on a particular feeling is likely to have trouble handle such feeling the way I see it.
Granted, instinct can accomplish amazing things and being overwhelmed isn't necessarily what would occur, but once you consider this you might see why I feel the way you worded it seems a bit extreme.
Sorry about the long comment, I sometimes can get carried away.
~Leonzilla
I half expected Deepy to get in on it.
"No mom, like this!" *glomp*
now that was funny at the end
Ahh...what a tummy-warming tale~ Can't wait to see what's in store for us in the future!
Man, that is some Victorian-tier sexual repression and perversion right there.
Leave it to Deepy to teach her mom how to suck dick, that was pretty hot though.
This makes me want deepy to teach a stallion how to give way blow job
Now that's a rare line.
Loved it!!! ^^
This entire chapter was a twist, but it would have been an even bigger twist if Deepy's mom turned out to actually still dislike giving blowjobs after the fact.
Dawwww, I just love Deepy! She seems really nice, and in real life, I'd love to be friends.
6888841 I think it's my favorite so far too. It's just got that perfect blend of humor I'm really proud of and hot and heavy sex.
I can kind of see Peach Seed's turnaround in retrospect, but it would flow a lot better if you had both other ponies present be a bit more 'flubadub wtfbbq?' Even just a line indicating how really seriously unexpected that was, and a guess at understanding. Like, if Peach Seed had been held back by some misconception that had just been solidly broken. We don't need a complete explanation, but even a total wild guess on Deepy's part would fill the gap.
7035302
memesvault.com/wp-content/uploads/Laughing-Meme-Face-15.png
I've been stalking this story since it came out. I'm looking forward to more updates on it. Keep up the great writing!
~SolidFire
I haven't read this chapter yet. I'm a little nervous about it. This story has covered a wide variety of interests; underage, older stallions, gangbang, etc. If this is the incest chapter I would be a little uncomfortable with that. Can I please get a brief summary of this chapter before I read?
7141126 i dont think you still need this after 11 weeks, but heck ill put it simple. a daughter teaches her parents a new art by telling them, she is not involved in the act. more of a... vocal aid of encourage. she allows them to get past an awkward barrier in there privet lives.