Chapter 1: Trixie from Equestria, RISE!
Twilight had grown to hate hospitals.
No, that wasn't fair. She didn't hate hospitals. She always found comforting the idea of having a place where the ill and injured could find aid. In that sense, Twilight loved hospitals. What she really hated were the reasons for being in a hospital. And right now, she and her friends were in the waiting room of Ponyville's Hospital for a very grim reason.
Twilight wasn't the only one uncomfortable with the situation.
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were both pacing around like two wild animals in the same cage, both looking down and only stopping to look up at the door. The same door that Rarity has been staring at uninterrupted since they entered the room. Next to Rarity, Fluttershy was seated too, but unlike the white unicorn, she was relentlessly trembling with her face hidden between her hooves. Finally, and the worst, was Pinkie Pie. Pretty much like Rarity and Fluttershy, she was sitting down, but she wasn't looking at the door or down at the floor. No, she was staring out the window at the horizon, not even blinking, and her hair was completely straight.
"How could this happen?" Twilight murmured to herself, not even sure on what to do with her friends.
And to think, things started out so well...
"With this amulet, I shall now rule all of Equestria!" Trixie announced before unceremoniously taking off the Alicorn Amulet and replacing it with Zecora's doorstop.
That had all been according to plan. Next, Rainbow Dash would pick up the Amulet, Trixie would be depowered and that would be the end of it. It was a good plan, and all the actors were filling their roles to a tee. A good plan indeed, until one actress missed her call.
"Hey!" Trixie shouted as Dash snatched the Amulet away from her. "*cough* I don't need that Alic--*cough* Alicorn...*pant* a-aaah..." She suddenly fell silent, trying to keep her balance but ultimately failing and falling limply to the ground.
"Trixie!" Twilight ran towards the collapsed magician. Something was wrong. Trixie was supposed to just lose the amulet's magic boost, not lose consciousness. As she finally reached her, Twilight surrounded Trixie in her magic, carefully lifting her from the ground and closer to herself.
"Sss... Sparkle?" Trixie softly called for her. "Why is... whys is so... c-cold?" She was getting pale, very pale. The azure of her coat was quickly leaving and being replaced by a very light blue. "Wha... what's happening to me?" Fear was clear in her voice and her eyes only showed fright.
"I-I don't-- I don't know." Twilight was panicking. True to her words, Trixie was already cold. "Help! Somepony help!" She called desperately.
"Sparkle, my enemy," Trixie continued. "Don-- Do not-- forget--Trixie..." She rode that last 'e' with her last breath, both air and life escaping from her body.
Time seemed to stop. Everything was moving slower than in reality as Twilight saw how Trixie closed her eyes. She wasn't even listening anymore, so she never noticed the two ponies approaching them till one of the bumped on her side. Doctor Stable and Nurse Redheart took Trixie from Twilight's magical aura and raced for the hospital.
Twilight sighed. It has been almost four hours since that happened. She was supposed to perform for the Saddle Arabian delegation by this time, but she couldn't focus on anything, and when Celestia heard of what happened, she excused her from doing it. So there she was, waiting for either doctor or nurse to come and tell them some good news.
Or bad news.
Any kind of news, really! Anything to alleviate this suffocating uncertainty that was slowly tearing her and her friends apart.
The clock was about to mark the hour when the doors opened. Both Nurse Redheart and Dr. Stable together walked over to them.
There's something funny about dying, you know; you don't feel too much. Believe Trixie, she knows. When Trixie died, she didn't know what was happening. Trixie just felt suddenly cold and then very tired. After that, it was like going to sleep. Trixie closed her eyes and let the sleep take her, forever.
Or that would have been the idea. The details are still lost to Trixie, but as far as she can tell, she isn't either resting or in peace. In fact, right now, she's strapped to a bed, with that unlucky charm again around her neck, but now there's also a horrible, horrible restraining ring around Trixie's magnificent horn.
Trixie wasn't scared, at all, although she had every right to be. But after several minutes of contemplation (that absolutely did not involve Trixie panicking) she remembered one of her oldest acts. With a smile on her graceful face, Trixie contorted a little here, pushed a little there and finally slipped away from those horrendous straps and walked away from that dreadful commoner's bed.
Trixie first tried with the main door, but she reasoned that whoever strapped her to the bed would also lock the door. Not even bothering to test her theory, for it was obviously correct, Trixie went for the window. She opened it and saw that she was on a seventh floor. Of course, Trixie's magic would be more than enough to let her descend from such a height without any problem. But the hideous restraining ring around Trixie's horn wouldn't let her do any magic, and she knew better than to try taking it off with only her hooves.
Stopping again to contemplate her problem, Trixie calmly held herself together. Still, even if her disciplined mind would allow Trixie to ignore such petty desires as thirst in a moment like that, her throat was feeling like sand and causing too much of a distraction. One she had dealt with that small bother then she could focus clearly on escape once more.
Locating a secondary door, Trixie easily found the room's bathroom. She walked in and took a sip of water, which felt uncharacteristically tasteless. When she was finished, Trixie lifted her head and, out of simple habit, looked at the mirror.
To this day, Trixie still regrets looking at the mirror. Trixie should have never looked at the mirror. Trixie should have never taken off the Alicorn Amulet-- No! Trixie should have never even touched the Alicorn Amulet in the first place. Trixie should have stayed on the rock farm, for if she did, she would be still alive, she would be still Trixie, instead of this... this...
"What am I?"
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More please?
more definitly
A dark and mysterious chapter, you build us a whole tragedy to leave us with a (fucking question in the end)
to me She's either a ghost now and she saw that she had no reflection anymore, should explain how she slipped away so easily from her bed
this is great! :)
OK kiddos don't touch the alicorn necklace at all
I'm interested in reading more of this as well. It's got a strong start. So is Trixie a ghost or some other kind of spirit now since she apparently died from the amulet? Here's hoping that her death won't simply be THE END for her and she'll end up sticking around and making contact with everypony somehow. I know one version of her did with Big Mac in "The Empty Room" and played a major part in the story doing so as well as making sure Twilight lived due to some plot related things happening.
Okay you intrigued me with this story as well as writing style. Please continue it.
Could be an interesting story concept, that I have not scene done before.
First person writing from the perspective of an habitual illeist? That's an entertainingly novel idea on its own.
First story I've commented on, but I'd love to see where this goes. Trixie-Lich type thing? Very interesting!
Maybe Trixie has to continue the rest of her 'life' without a body. In any case, I would like to read more.
I would like to read more, and I like the new style too.
...I must know what she is!
Okay, first of all, before getting into the personal replies, I want to announce that I'm already working on chapter two, so feel proud that your comment brought a story to life.
<(yay) Oh, and go here.
5950447
On it.
5950487
On it.
And although I would like to answer your doubt, I would like to keep the surprise to enhance the experience of reading, so I can't confirm or deny if she's or not a ghost. All i can say is that she's not alive.
5950691
On it.
5950738
Thank you, that's very kind from you.
5950802
Who said that dark fan's fictions can't bring up an Aesop?
5950924
It can't be the end if it's in the beginning, right? (unles you're listening that Smashing Pumpkins song).
I've yet to read The Empty Room (and don't have actual time to do so, sadly), but by the TVtropes page, I can tell you that the difference with this is that here, Trixie is the main focus of the story.
5951066
On it.
5951093
Well, I'll try my hardest to keep it interesting then. If this is truly a completely new idea, it deserves some hard work.
5951308
Thanks for that first comment, very appreciated. And to be honest, not even Trixie understand what she is, but she will find out.
5951344
Well, we'll have to wait for the next chapter then. Don't worry, I'm working on it.
5951690
Glad you liked the new style. It's kinda hard to abandon my old "action-crossover-scifi" one and start from zero again.
5951813
If you really must know, she's (not) a ghost/ghoul/Spectre/Deadmare/Phantom Strange/zombie/Black Lantern/demon/Deadite/Walker/Schrodinger's pony/something. Or maybe not even that. Or all of the above.
5952487 Interesting. Every end is a beginning, every beginning an end. Either way this shall be one heck of a ride for a story. And you should totally find time at some point to read it, even if it's 1-2 chapters a day or so. It's quite the read the original and rewrite in the progress. And I figured Trixie would be the main character seeing how it's focused on her.
5952538
I'll make an effort, but university and writing will be first.
5952548 Naturally that's understandable. ^^
This is quite the change in style for you. I read the earlier comments, so I know Trixie isn't a Black Lantern, but it will be interesting to learn what she has become. (Perhaps chaos magic is involved?)
5952929
Chaos magic, dark magic, evil magic. It can't be good if the Accursed Alicorn Amulet (I love the alliteration). No, is not a black lantern. No ring, no oath and not even she trying to eat sompeny's heart. For the spoilers freedom's sake, let's just say she's not dead, but not alive either.
I like the story. It's a bit tragic, just the way I like.
I was inspired to write a story about how Trixie died and contemplated her life's choices after her death. I began to write one but left it alone in favor of my other stories until I finish the majority of them.
Your story here, as it is, is a good/similar starting point to what I had in mind. Now if you don't mind me saying I loved the idea that someone might follow this step. Here's what I had in mind?want to see in this story if at all possible.
So Trixie dies. Done deal.
Now she roams as a disembodied form of energy that only Luna/Celestia/Cadance can see as she travels around the world to see what her death had brought upon other. When she does this she sees that the mane six actually miss her and didn't want her to die. Snips and Snails mourn her loss and try to raise a fund to have her buried at Ponyville with everyone's help they succeed.
Trixie then travels the world to see how her estranged family is actually affected by her death and the few friends she made are as well. Maud was to be a love interest in her and tried to take her life after she's alone. When Trixie witnesses this she cries out stopping Maud from killing herself and finds that she can actually manifest herself to those closest to her.
That leads her to find her ultimate destiny. She becomes a spirit guide. With the alicorns blessing she is gifted with the Spirits gift and becomes Maud's spirit companion, or something to that line.
That's how good you wrote this. You INSPIRED me to write another thing even though I'm swamped with what I have already. You sir are a good writer, this is a good start for I feel a great and tragic tale of Trixie.
Pease continue it. It would mean the world to me if you did.
Don't let this potential go to waste.
PS thanks for the watch. I'll be keeping my eye on you as well.
rs1img.memecdn.com/stalkerloo_c_685525.jpg
Yes.
More, please.
5953488
Santa madre de Dios.
I... never expected that a fiction of mine would produce that kind of effect. All is left to say here now is that, whoa, I mean, that story not only sounds amazing (it does), but to think that I somehow influenced something like that. Just... wow.
All my support to your story, and be sure to tell me once you got it, for I really want to read it. And thanks, you just made my day.
5953713
On it.
5953996 I will! Once i get it done I'll let you know first.
5953488 I wholeheartedly support this story concept and would definitely read it.
I'd be very interested to see this continue. Also there are some typos in the description:
and she felt for it. It's a good think that Twilight Sparkle
5954209 well in that case I'll shoot you both a PM when I do get around to it!
5954869
On it.
And thanks for the corrections.
That ending? You, good Sir, are a freaking tease.
Hope this continues because so far at least it was a bit short but interesting.
5955661
You think that's a tease? You should check the blog I posted about the next chapter. And yes, there will be a chapter 2.
5955729
Think I'll wait for the full version in that case, but thanks for the heads up.
5955738
Okay, tomorrow then. Thanks for reading.
Is Trixie perhaps a Vampire / Vampony?
5955906
Uhhh.....
Look, a bird!
*closes computer*
Intriguing, I shall wait for second chapter.
5955661
I really like this story. The writing style is great. The flow of the story keeps a good pace and actually makes sense. And soooo many possibilities on what happened and what could happen now. I few ideas came to mind.
Did Trixie die the moment she put on the Amulet? Perhaps. It might have turned her into a sort of self aware zombie. If so, is that where the madness of the amulet comes from? As the mind dies or decays, perhaps she needs to replace the cells with fresh ones to keep sapient? The amulet is the origin of the Zombies eating brains mythos?
Perhaps Trixie is a Lich now, as she was a spell caster before, and the amulet is/was a Phylactery. The now effectively immortal Trixie now has to contend the countless ages, all while losing what's left of her mind. Trixie is now Simon Petrikov?
Trixie is now an automaton of some sort, possibly controlled/controllable by whatever force first created the alicorn amulet in the first place. Trixie's body, while no longer alive, isn't exactly dead either. More like, it's been taxidermied, although still able to move. It doesn't rot, but none of the organs or anything work any more, nor are they needed and Trixie becomes something like Sally, in function if not in look.
So let's leave it with this: whatever Wave Blaster does with the story is gonna be good.
Nice, interesting, need more!
5957395
If not tonight, tomorrow morning.
5957606
So, you gave the following options: Jason Voorhees, Ice King or Sally.
I'll be honest with you, I'm a fan of riddles, so here are my option to ad in that pool.
Scorpion: Trixie is no more a pony, but a ghost of one. The remaining magic on the amulet keeps the illusion of a normal pony, but Trixie's own talent let her see through this and what really is under the image; nothing.
Spawn: The amulet is symbiotic and grants it wearer of immortality in exchange of power. But the forced removal made the deal imperfect; Trixie is now a rotting corpse, held together only by the very darkness that condemned her.
Swamp Thing: That's not Trixie. That's a corpse thinking it's Trixie.
5957698
On it.
You should defiantly continue this
5959865
On it.
5959924 Yay, thanks
I may not like sad stories, but at least this will be the first (or second) sad story that I'm gonna read.
Anyways, Trixie died once and she came back to life, but it seems that The Accursed Alicorn Amulet did something to her, I don't know what it is, but I might find out on the next chapter.
Wave Blaster, I think Imma read this story and see how it goes.
Good Luck on the future once, mmkay? 
5993169
To be honest, I'm not too much into sad myself. If anything, I would prefer to have this success in one of my action packed crossovers, or in the more upbeat and optimistic Show MUST Go On!
Anyways, I'm glad I managed to keep your attention through the whole chapter. Thanks for reading.
cloud-4.steamusercontent.com/ugc/451798841518661506/8AEF3DF9F586093A86CABBED4D356717B08FFF65/
I've been tossing around the idea of the Alicorn Amulet being something more than just what it did to Trixie in the show. Heck, in my first FIMfic it ended up writing itself as an eldritch horror when I didn't even intend for that to occur, and the sequel idea I have for it would ramp it up to eleven.
That said, there's one curious thing about this chapter. Did they never take Zecora's doorstop off of Trixie? She mentions having an unlucky charm on her still, which I assume is the doorstop, unless somepony got the idea to put the Amulet back on her to restore her to life (but it's never actually mentioned).
6594127
WHOA! This is going to take some time. *opens can of Coke*
Okay, first of all, thanks a lot for giving "one per chapter" comments, which is nice to see once in a while. Also, sorry for the late reply, kinda busy on my end these days. Anyways, let's begin with this.
Yeah, with how the show presented it, I always felt the Alicorn Amulet was criminally underused. In fact, with how much potential a villain with an alicorn's effective power, it could have worked far better as a two patter, or a season premiere/finale.
In regards to the doorstop, I think you'll find out as the story advance.
The only thing that's putting me off to this story a bit is all of the tense inconsistencies. You're jumping around from past to present frequently, and often times within the same sentence. Sorry, but that makes it very difficult for me to read.
I'll give your second chapter the old college try. Just to be fair. But...I'll probably drop the story entirely, if I don't see any improvement in your tense usage. Interesting premise for the story itself, though.
I don't really have much to say from this first chapter, all in honestly; but to say that you have something good here, I'll start to read the second now and see what happens.
6687602
Glad you're liking the introduction. Hope you enjoy reading what's next.
Black Lantern reference anyone?
7246578
All of them!
7284462
Yeah, when I wrote this chapter (meant to be a one-seat one-shot), I decided to start anew. Different genre, different narrative and put all the attention to grammar. All in all, I think it came up as fresh because I cut loose, focused only in building a good scene without even thinking on a bigger story. Thanks for reminding me about that.
Nos vemos.
-Wave
There’s a lot of really awkward wording, an inability to stick to one tense, and a homophone substitution error that nobody out of elementary should be making. This story may be good, I dunno yet since this is only the first chapter, but this poor initial showing is going to turn a lot of people off.