Trixie is lying down in her bed.
It’s not really her bed, or at least it doesn’t feel it like it. It’s Twilight’s spare bed, in Twilight’s basement, under Twilight’s house. Trixie mentally cringes at the thought of how little she owns right now. She remembers a foreign bat pony saying that poor ponies have ‘no soil to fall dead over’. Trixie smiles at the irony present.
Her attempt is met with failure. Trixie’s face doesn’t move.
Trixie tries to open her eyes to see what’s happening, but her eyelid refuse to follow along. Trixie tries again, this time also trying also to get up from her resting pose, but the stillness of the basement remains undisturbed. Not a single hair on her hide shifts. Trixie’s pale and thin body doesn’t move anymore.
Trixie tries to call for help, but of course her lungs are empty and her vocal cords are unresponsive. Her only resource left is to pay attention and hear around her, hoping for Twilight or Spike to come down and find her. That’s the moment when Trixie realizes that the world around her has become completely silent. Or more likely, her ears aren’t working either.
Now Trixie is truly scared. Even if she has lost most of her senses of touch, taste, and smell, she had always been able to hear and until recently see the world. She was still able to move, she was still a part of the world. Yet now here she is; already six hooves under a tree, locked in a blackness that seems worse than death. If Trixie could, she would laugh at how, at least, her tribe’s tradition was honored in a way. Sure, it wasn’t a blackberry bush, but Trixie being Trixie, a full oak tree was fitting.
The small moment of comedy doesn’t last as Trixie realizes she’s now trapped inside a dead body, doomed to stay motionless and alone for eternity, never dying, never being truly at peace. Trixie’s mind gets darker by the second, as the past mistakes that drove her to this sorrowful state now haunt her. Trixie can’t even open her mouth, yet she must scream.
Trixie rose up in the darkness. It took her a moment to remember it, but she was back in that hospital room she promised to never visit again.
Even with her reduced sensitivity, the scare of the nightmare made her scream… without making any real sound. There was no air inside her lungs to make her cords vibrate. Nicely done, Lulamoon, she thought. Not even a second awake and you’ve already reminded yourself you’re not a pony anymore. Trixie sat on the bed, tightly hugging her hindlegs with the front ones.
She was scared. Alone, in the darkness of her own blindness, Trixie could only feel fear.
“I can see you’re awake,” a motherly voice murmur from her right. Trixie turned her head out of instinct towards the sound. “Calm, I’m here to help you, like I promised I would.” Like the doctors, Celestia's voice projected reassurance and comfort. Unlike the doctors, Trixie actually believed it.
“Yo-your majesty.” Trixie quickly let her hind legs go and sat up straight for her visitor. “Trixie regrets you had to see her in a state like this.” She pointed her both front hooves at her face and chest. She wasn’t wearing Rarity’s outfit anymore. There was no point in showing colors she couldn’t see, in hiding what she had become. That’s why she also had insisted her blackened eyes be covered by bandages.
“You don’t need to apologize, my little pony.” Trixie could hear Celestia’s hooves getting closer to her bed. “It is I who failed to help you in time and now you paid the price for it.” Trixie felt how the motherly tone began to turn remorseful. “I’m sorry.”
“What, no!” Trixie couldn’t help herself from interrupting. “It is I, Trixie, who is to fault over all of this.” Even if she couldn’t see, Trixie’s hoof placed itself over the Amulet encrusted in her chest with a fearful precision. “Trixie brought this to herself, now I’m paying her sin--” Again, she forgot to take enough air and her lungs were empty. Trixie forced the air back, but when she was about to release it to speak, an unusually big hoof placed itself softly over her snout.
“My young mare, the time and place for placing blames is not now.” Trixie noted how the tone was getting assuring again. “If we dwell only on the past it prevents us from recognizing the present or dealing with the future. At this moment we have to deal with the matter at hoof. We need to find a way to bring back your sight.” The hoof over Trixie’s snout moved slowly towards the bandage covering her eyes. Instinctively, Trixie’s own hooves stopped the bigger one about to take the bandage off.
“Your Majesty, please, the light.” Trixie tried not to sound like she was pleading, struggling to find the right words. “It hurts,” she ended up whispering.
“Everything is fine, Trixie. I promise it won’t hurt.” At the mention of her own name, the first time Celestia ever used it with her, Trixie lowered her hooves, letting the Princess finally remove the bandage. Still, the memory of the pain that light brought her the last time she saw it made Trixie keep her eyes shut.
“You can open your eyes now.”
The intonation, the volume, even the wording; Trixie never felt this safe and protected with anypony, not even her mentors. Although Battle Axe was like a mother with Trixie, she was already an adult when they met and Axe always respected Trixie’s space. But now, hearing Celestia’s voice assuring and guiding her, in the darkness, was the closest thing to a mother’s voice Trixie has ever heard.
Trixie opened her eyes.
Twilight and her friends were, once again, sitting in the hospital waiting room with their hearts in their hooves. Though, this time, there was something different. This time it wasn’t just a former rival turned dictator who was in there under unknown circumstances. This time, there was friend in there, and they knew what she was going through.
Blindness.
Inevitably, they placed themselves in Trixie’s place. Twilight though about how she could never read a book the same way again. Applejack was holding her hat tight, trying to not think of never seeing Apple Bloom grow. Fluttershy’s eyes were looking everywhere to distract her from the fear of being in darkness forever. But the most affected over it were Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Rarity. They all not only worked on daily basis with their sight, but they lived through it. The idea of not being able to see the colors of a party, or in which direction to fly, or how a design looked was eating them.
They stayed silent for a while. They trusted Princess Celestia, who appeared almost immediately after Twilight’s letter was sent. But still, the wait proved to be too much for them to bear. Realizing she was repeating her same mistake from the last time, Pinkie rose up from her seat, internally reassuring herself before speaking.
“Come on, girls, relax.” All of them snapped out of their personal nightmares to look at Pinkie. “I know it’s not looking like it, but I’m positively positive that Trixie is going to be fine.” Pinkie waited just a moment, knowing well the importance of timing when speaking to more than one pony. “Look, girls, the Princess is with her now. I believe she will able to help Trixie.”
“Pinkie--” Applejack tried to cut in.
“And even if not,” Pinke ignored the attempted interruption. “Trixie will need our support. How can we support her when she comes out of that room and all she seeeee… hears us all silent and looking at the floor?” She gave them time to let the thought sink in.
“I… suppose you’re right, Pinks.” Rainbow Dash, finally breaking the silence.
“Yeah, being optimistic is the best we can do for a friend is in n--” but Pinkie got interrupted by a loud shout coming from Trixie’s room.
They all rushed inside.
Trixie opened her eyes.
“Can you see?” Princess Celestia asked her.
All the lights were off and any other light source like the edges of the door and windows were being magically reduced by Celestia’s magic. The room was near pitch black, and yet Trixie had no trouble seeing everything in it.
“I… can?” Trixie wasn’t sure if it was real or not. She was seeing the alabaster alicorn towering in front of her in almost perfect detail. “Why doesn’t it hurt?” Trixie asked.
“It’s because there’s no light in here to hurt you, Trixie,” the Princess answered.
“Oh.” Trixie began to understand. “So, is this how it’s going to be now?” she asked again, but to nopony in particular. “This is the ultimate consequence of tampering with dark magic, isn’t it?” Trixie got up from her bed and looked around her, meeting Celestia’s own eyes.
“Trixie…”
“First I die, but I can’t rest.” Trixie suddenly spun around. “Then I get to stay with the living but they fear me.” She trotted at the bathroom. “And now...” Trixie didn’t even bothered with the lights. She just looked at the reflection, at the monster in it, directly in its black, lifeless eyes.
“AAaahhh!”
She smashed her left hoof against the glass, breaking it. Trixie saw how two drops of the black and green fluid inside her hit the sink. She inspected her hoof, but there were no cuts. Trembling, she touched her own face under her eyes. In the pieces of the mirror, Trixie could see the necroplasm coming from her black eyes and sliding down over her pale, thinned to the bone face. She looked away, slowly sitting down at the bathroom’s floor with her back against the wall.
“Make it stop.” Trixie pleaded. “Please, make it stop. I don’t… I don’t want to die like this.”
Princess Celestia trotted to the bathroom and calmly sat down next to Trixie. Trixie felt the softness of white feathers wrap over her withers. She turned and wrapped her forelegs around the princess, pressing her face into the soft fur of Celestia’s chest much as a foal would to its mother. There were so many times during Trixie’s own life she had wished for her mother to be there so she could do this. She felt the Princess’ forelegs wrap around her in turn and hug her close. It was like a dam inside Trixie broke and a sob shook her body.
“I don’t want to die like this,” she whimpered again. “I don’t want to die, trapped in the dark… all alone.”
“Trixie.” Once again, Celestia’s maternal voice helped to calm Trixie’s inner turmoil. “You’re not alone in this. You haven’t been alone for a long time now. Just look.”
Hesitantly, Trixie lifted her head and looked up, squinting at the light coming in from the now open door to her room. Framed there were six of the ponies that had been at Trixie’s side for the last week. At their head was the purple unicorn she had grown closest to.
“Are you okay, Trixie?” Twilight asked. “We heard shouting outside.”
Even though it hurt to look at them with the bright lights of the hallway behind them, Trixie forced herself to. She could see the concern on all their faces, most clearly on Twilight’s.
“Trixie is…” She wanted to say fine. She wished more than anything she was fine. But she wasn’t and she wasn’t going to hide that. “I’m not okay. This is getting worse and it’s scaring me, and I can’t run away from it. I don’t know how to face this on my own.”
“You’re not on your own,” said Twilight as her and the other five stepped forward.
“Yes, I realize that now,” Trixie responded, a small smile on her muzzle as she looked up at the ponies she had come to think of as friends.
“As to facing your problem,” Celestia softly intoned above her, “it is your choice on how you deal with it. Though if I may offer my experience, dwelling on the mistakes of the past will only bring hurt and regret. Look to the future and decide where you want it to lead.” She nodded towards the other ponies filling the small room. “If you become scared or unsure, or just need a hoof to help yourself along, don’t hesitate to ask for help. Helping is what friends do. Never think you have to go through all this alone.”
Trixie nodded against the Princess. A sliver of hope was still hope after all.
Good chapter!
Either a mistake or a cunning play on words. Not sure which.
Ah , so it can be solved like this huh ?
Well , in that case , Trixie just became 20% cooler, because she just joined the very elitist club composed of those who wear sunglasses all the time , even at night. She can now proudly perform with the Blues Brothers.
" It’s 106 miles to Chicago, we’ve got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it’s dark and we’re wearing sunglasses."
"Hit it."
6496584
Heh, I wish it were a cunning play on words. In actuality it was spillover from another story I'm working on right now that, uh, has a more adult flavoring to its choice of language.
UT OH, SPAGHETTIO.
WHERE'S YOUR GOD NOW?!
Curiously was Celestia able to do anything? Apart form her words of comfort/advice it seems like the Amulet is transforming trixie relentlessly.
How did she have a nightmare? I thought she couldn't sleep. Or am I misremembering? Still, I love what you guys are doing here and look forward to more.
*snort*
Um... why hasn't Luna tried helping Trixie? She has been in the position of being viewed as a monster, corrupted by dark magic, redeemed as a villain, and is the princess of the night, moon, and darkness. All things that Trixie can relate with. They could probably hang out talking about what they're going to do on Nightmare Night.
What 6496919 said. This is either a plot hole, or a plot twist. Either way, it needs to be addressed.
6497018
The current part of the story is all about the characters figuring out new things about Trixie's current state of existence, so it probably shouldn't come as any surprise to people that new things may come up that contradict what the perspective character previously believed to be true about herself. I'm sure it will be addressed at some point.
6497037
...thus making this a Plot Twist/Plot Point. Like I said, as long as it gets addressed at some point, I'll be happy. Heck, combine it with 6497003 's idea and have Luna show up mid-dream to point this out.
6497240
Just commenting on how dumb it would be to overreact to that, because the intent is kind of obvious. Also, I sure hope she doesn't. That would be stupid and contrived. Delivering convenient answers on the silver platter like that is enough to make any story suck.
6497255
Who said anything anything about her handing out answers? Just have her be off looking for foals with nightmares because, you know, that is her job, apparently. When she bumps into Trixie, have her confused since Trixie shouldn't be able to sleep at this point, let alone dream. From that point the whole "sleep" issue can be dropped in favor of having the two ex-villains bond over imaginary tea and dream hot cocoa. Maybe bring up the subject of the Tantabus (sp?) and have Trixie convince her that the whole self-torture thing is a bad idea for reasons other than Luna's own mental health.
6497294
It would be stupid because you might as well stick a neon sign on it going "hey, look, something weird is going on! You need to pay attention now!" It has all the subtlety of a sledgehammer. It's pure pandering. This story can do better than that.
6497298
Fair enough. You do not want Luna showing up in Trixie's dreams ten~twenty chapters from now. I concede the issue of fan pandering, but argue that it would not be a "Neon Sign" if the issue is given time to simmer. If I came across as wanting this issue addressed right way, let me correct my self, as that was not my intent. All I personally want is for this little deviation from the stated standard norm to be addressed. The when of that addressing isn't important.
6497342
That is kind of how it came across, but I suppose that would make a difference, then. I'm still not remotely fond of the "dream tea party" idea, though. It just doesn't seem like it would fit the tone of this story remotely. I'd like to call it "realistic," but that would be kind of stupid, because it really isn't. I suppose "grounded" is the next best thing - it doesn't do fan service, it doesn't pander. Things so far have happened in a way that I could, personally, expect to happen if it was real people finding themselves in that kind of situation. There are no easy answers to anything. It's a degree of consistency I like very much and I would hate to see the story deviate from that.
I wonder how it ends... a simple death would be too wimple for this fic... so restoration, ressurection or somehow assending to a higher beeing - Trixie, the Great and Powerful Windigo perhaps?
Welding goggles.
Poor Trixie, facing the darkness she once brought upon Ponyville. How ironic. I hope she'll be able to see the light in the end.
*tries to think of non-obvious response to that line*
... Man all that thinking makes me hungry. I'm in the mood for canned pears. Maybe peaches. Too bad I have no can opener...
6496489
Thank you.
6496584
I'll fix it in a sec.
6496588
My favorite song HAS to be their version of Ghost Riders in the Sky.
So sad that the disc's version doesn't have that amazing solo. Say whatever you want about that sequel, but the music is as good as in the original.
6496591
images.akamai.steamusercontent.com/ugc/523889792487375910/45E42540E7556514D1CFB8DBCC785F9C002A6546/
6496594
Gott ist tot
i.imgur.com/yLN99lJ.png
The world is ours now.
6496709
Well, in the wonderful world of "what if...?", if it wasn't for Celestia, instead of dealing with the Undead and Depressed Trixie, they would be dealing with the Superior and Almighty Trixie.
And yeah, that Amulet doesn't seem to be giving up anytime soon.
6496919
Well, 'walker added a good explanation to that in the next chapter (TBR), but I would like to point out this quote from Chapter 2 (from when this fic was updated regularly, seriously)
Although all of Trixie's biological/energetic needs are now covered by the Amulet's necroplasm, she still has psychological needs.
Have you ever tried to keep a computer running, non-stop? Energy is not a problem, but memory usage and cleanup become an issue. Sleeping and dreams are the brain's way of organizing memories, moving things to long-term storage from short-term, and doing a similar kind of cleanup. Not doing so causes problems, as studies have shown. Trixie is experiencing some of that now.
6496989
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/58/7d/78/587d782d18786b1e2d958203d1c36ef0.jpg
6497003
I think you just answered why. As we saw in the second interlude, even if Luna wants to help more actively, Celestia fears that it could be too similar and maybe even connected. She's scared of not knowing, and Trixie, as a metaphysical impossibility, is the ultimate unknown right now, so she doesn't want her little sister to expose herself unnecessarily.
This can probably change now that the Amulet showed to be still active.
6497018
A canon recall.
6497037
That's a good point too. If the second interlude taught us anything, is that we're not even close to know what's really going on, only what are the effects. and not even that is 100 % covered.
6497240
I can't confirm or deny Luna's proximity to the main plot or central characters of this story.
6497381
WINDIGO!
And the prize for "Best WMG/Epileptic Tree" of the day goes to... that.
Oh man, I have to share this one with 'Walker.
P.S.: 'Walker says this: "Well... the answers are in there somewhere".
6497477
orig04.deviantart.net/8b89/f/2014/085/c/f/mlp_tf2___alrighty_then_by_logic611993-d7bqa00.jpg
6497869
It's just me, or the Alicorn Amulet is morphing Trixie into...
...Equestria's Bad Luck Brian?
6498922
Use a gun.
cdn.meme.am/instances/500x/24027352.jpg
6500125
GOTT IST TOT, UND ES WAR UNS WER HATTEN IHN GETÖTET.
nicolasamori.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/7.jpg
6500125 Good choice in music.
Short chapter definitely felt short.
It was never outright stated earlier that Trixie couldn't sleep, merely implied due to her lack of getting tired, so definitely something that's only a matter of what Trixie thought and not the reality.
Of course even her dreams aren't pleasant, turning into I Have No Mouth and Must Scream territory
6596656
Yeah, I was trying to get back to the basics of the early chapters. In fact, most of it was a quick retell of the first four ones, but with Trixie having someone to rely on, thus making the recovery more straightforward.
And finally someone recognizes the And I Must Scream reference. Yep, Trixie fears that she will end trapped inside her own corpse.
7292196
Hey, BADASS!es can cry too. Hell, one of Batman's most iconic shots is him crying over Jason Todd's death, and hes as BADASS! as they come.
nerdlocker.com/nrd/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/a-death-in-the-family.jpg
I expected Trixie to rot, starting with eyes, witch would be scary but manageable, because it's logical and natural, and with enough magic (heh, even with our technology [and extreme amount of time consuming care]) mostly reversible. But this unknown magical transformation... this is terrifying
Also great "I have no mouth and I must scream" reference!
11690006
At some point I danced with the idea of Trixie's entire body just 'drying' rather than rotting away. So, she would wear an armor, like Doctor Doom, to avoid looking like a walking skeleton.
And yeah, a huge part of the horror here was Trixie loosing any form of agency, yet still forced to exist in that state. Not so different from the protagonists of "I have no mouth...".