• Published 15th May 2012
  • 7,440 Views, 293 Comments

Carmine and Carmine - PonyManne215

Anthony and Benjamin both died. Will they still have a need for violence in Equestria?

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Shits and Giggles

“Big bro!” “Squirt!” The two brothers started running at each other, ready to embrace in a brotherly hug. Then Anthony paused and motioned his hand, telling Benjamin to stop. “Wait. Wait! Hold Up!”

A kickass idea popped up in Anthony’s head. “We should run in slow-mo, ya know, like they do in the movies?” Benjamin was a little annoyed that Ant had wanted to stop this precious moment for something so silly. But then again, he hasn’t seen his brother since he Anthony enlisted, and….He always wanted to do it. “Why the hell not?”

They continued their running and extended their arms, except in slow-motion this time. “Bbbbbeeeennnnjjjjaaammmiinnnn!!!” “Aaaaannnnnttthhhooonnnyyy!!” they took three minutes to reach each other, repeating the words at least five times. This action, if normal-paced, would have taken seconds. But then again, the Carmines were jackasses.

“I’ve missed you so much, Ant.” Benjamin was crying under his helmet. “Me, too, squirt. Me too.” He patted on his little brother’s shoulder. “Alright, you can let go now, this is getting gay.” Benjamin didn’t respond. “I said, it’s getting gay!” Still nothing. “Don’t make me get the porta-pottie!” He let go after hearing this and walked away, without even saying a word.

His memories were fun, but would be disturbing to others. Whenever his brothers said the phrase ‘Don’t make me get the porta-pottie’, it reminded him of his unluckiness. When he was a child, he had the worst of luck. When they were on a trip to the outdoors, Benjamin had to use the bathroom. Luckily, there was a porta-pottie nearby. He went in and shut the door behind him.

He felt the walls around him move as if they was about to fall over. “This is Clay Carmine.” “And this is Anthony Carmine.” “Welcome to Jackasses!” What happened shortly after haunted his mind forever. He quickly felt a burning liquid travelling up through his throat.

“Just kidding, kid. Jeez. Take it easy.” Anthony walked towards his brother. “So..what’cha been up to?” Benjamin was a little shocked at this casual question but answered regardless. “Nothing much, joined the COG, as you can see. Last I remember, we were going to finish the Locusts once and for all but I….died.”

If helmets could make expressions, Anthony would have his blue eyes wide open. “What?!” “Yeah, I died. I got ripped apart. Man did it hurt.” Anthony was shocked to hear that his little brother had been put through so much pain. “I feel kinda bad, ya know? I died quick and almost painless.” He looked off to the sky.

It was now Benjamin’s turn. “Wait what?! The COG said you died heroically!” Benjamin shouted in disbelief. “Well…they lied. I kinda…got excited because my gun jammed and stood up. Got my ass shot and I died right there.” Benjamin was now a little ashamed that his brother died a moron’s death. Only those who were completely foolish did not heed the Golden Rule.

“Anyway, where’s your shit? I got mine.” Anthony pointed toward his weapons indicating what he meant. “Somewhere back where I woke up.” They went back to where Benjamin had awaken and found his equipment. There, lying on the ground, was his Lancer, Longshot, Snub Pistol, and two smoke grenades.

He picked them up, holding the Longshot in his hands. He always preferred to be far from the enemy. He turned to his brother and saw Anthony shake his head disapprovingly. “For shame, Benny, for shame.” “You don’t even know what that means!” “Yes, I do! It means uhhh… its when you….take the fork on the left?”

Benjamin hit himself in the face. “Anyways, Clay always taught us to take the enemy up close and personal. I guess you didn’t learn anything did ya?” “Ant..” Benjamin started. “That doesn’t matter anymore, does it? Considering we’re both dead.” Anthony scratched the top of his helmet. “Oh yeah…”

They were now confused as to what to do next. Benjamin, being the more intelligent of the two, suggested they make camp in the forest, giving them cover. They now moved towards the forest. All around them were large plants and trees that seemed almost too exotic. Their colors were almost cartoonish.

“Alright, lets make camp here.” They stopped and found themselves in a patch of forest that contained a medium-sized space between them. It was perfect for their size, allowing them to establish a fire and both sleep comfortably. They put rocks in a circular shape and set out to find firewood.

Benjamin came back to the camp, having only a few sticks. Anthony on the other hand, was empty-handed. “What the hell, man? I said we both go get some!” Benjamin was aggravated at his brother’s laziness. “Relax, I got a better way to get some.” The lazy brother stood up, went to a tree, and pulled back on the Lancer. He cut down at a slanted angle.


Scootaloo awoke in the middle of the night. She had not slept for long, probably for only a few minutes or so. She heard a large racket coming from outside of Zecora’s hut. “What’s that?” It was a large buzzing sound. She had never heard anything like it. It was going on for about five minutes when it stopped.

Scootaloo laid back on the bed Zecora let her sleep on. “Guess it was-“ A large thumping sound shook the floor slightly. She wanted to see what it was, but was too afraid of the creatures that could be stalking her in the dark.

She spent the remaining time cowering with a blanket above her. She stared at the door, making sure nothing would come through. She was on watch. Slowly, her eyes felt like dumbbells and were overcoming her strength. She rubbed her eyes desperately, trying to keep awake. This was futile. Not long after, she fell back to sleep muttering “Rainbow Dash……”


“There ya go, problem solved.” The small tree came down and Anthony cut them into smaller pieces. He stacked them on a pile in the middle of the stones and began to rub two sticks together. “Uhm, Ant?” Anthony shushed his talking brother. “Quiet, I’m concentrating. Watch the master at work.” He even rubbed harder when they wouldn’t do anything.

“I’m shifting into maximum over drive!” He was now rubbing the two almost destroyed sticks extremely fast. Almost as fast as a sniper bullet. He had been spending ten minutes now rubbing them together as his brother stared in awe. A small smoke began to form. It was getting larger and larger. His mouth started to open, ready to cheer. ‘Snap’. The two sticks broke into a million pieces.

“Awww shit.” He was sad now that his efforts were stampeded by the will of the gods. They did not want him to save the day. He looked up to the sky angrily, and shook his fist. “Damn you!” He felt a light tapping on his shoulder. “Uhm, big bro? I had a lighter the entire time.”

They woke up the next morning. Benjamin was a little scared of what had transpired the night before.


Anthony led out a yell and stormed off towards the forest. “Ant! Come one, don’t be like this!” Benjamin knew this was futile as when Anthony was in a fit, he had to let some steam off. He heard his brother yell a few seconds after he called out to him. “Aww shit! I stepped in shit! This is just fan-fucking-tastic!” Then there was a silence.

Anthony didn’t care where he went; he just wanted to beat the shit out of something. He stomped around wanting some wild animal to come and fight him. Or maybe even some dumb Locust drone. A low growling came from behind him. He slowly turned to look. It was some creature with yellow eyes low to the ground.

“Holy shit! It’s a weird monkey-dog thing!” Anthony yelled out loud enough for Benjamin to hear him. Benjamin knew what it was. It was a wretch, the same exact saying that he used when first sighting one. He ran off to his brother and could only stare in pure dumbness.

The creature wasn’t a wretch. Rather it was a dog. Perhaps a wolf. Nonetheless, it was not normal. It’s skin was made of wood and it’s teeth made of sharp sticks. “Oh my god! It’s a…Timber-dog!” Anthony yelled in realization. “Actually, I think it’s more of a wol-” Benjamin was interrupted as the creature jumped on Anthony.

It was scratching at him while he was trying to smack away. After a few moments, they just laughed. Wood couldn’t pierce their thick COG standard military issue armor. Anthony picked it up and threw it to the floor. “My turn!” He revved up his Lancer and moved menacingly toward the creature, which was now cowering in fear.

It let out a loud yelp as the blades of the Lancer cut down across it’s body, splitting it in two. The Lancer cut through it with ease like a hot knife to a stick of butter. When the creature collapsed, Anthony was back to his old self. “Well that wasn’t too hard.” All around them, small little yelps and whining could be heard. They had taken down a Timberwolf pack leader.

Anthony, now in a good mood, raised his boot and rubbed it on the pack leader’s carcass. It made a small sloshing noise as Anthony removed his boot. The body was now covered in the feces that was on his boot. “There good as new!” Anthony cheered.


The brothers packed up their things and moved to another location in the forest. Staying in one spot would get them killed. They were taught this many times during training. Along the way they found berries and fruits that would serve them for now. They ate these things, giving them enough energy to look for a river.

Meanwhile, an orange filly was searching the field of grass that she saw the two mysterious figures at, the night before. She found nothing out of the ordinary. All she found were large imprints of the grass, something that was heavy and weirdly shaped had made these. They seemed like an object had been placed there.

She searched some more and found something even more peculiar. There were hoof steps leading to the forest. Only, they were different. They were much larger than any pony she had ever seen. They were also curved more precisely than any animal she had ever seen. She, like the filly she was, investigated further into the matter. “Cutie Mark Crusaders, Lead Investigator!”

“Hey Squirt! Watch this one!” Anthony rolled forward “Huuupp!”, reaching almost seven feet away. The two brothers were having a contest to see who could roll the farthest. “Nice one! But I think I can beat that.” Benjamin rolled forward. “Huuuuuuhhh!” He reached Anthony. He looked down to where their feet were. His were above Anthony’s just about an inch. “That’s bullshit.,,” Anthony said.

Benjamin beat his brother yet again. They were spending the whole time bonding, making up for all of the time they had lost since Anthony died. “Whatever, hey, we’re almost there.” They looked and saw a river in the distance. Not only were they thirsty, but sweaty too. They wanted to take a little swim in the river. They unloaded their things, and took their armor off. They jumped into the water with their clothes on, leaving all of their things in a hidden cache nearby.


Scootaloo stumbled upon a put-out campfire in a clearing. It seemed to have been used last night. There were a bunch of footsteps leading off in multiple directions. She was going to head to the east, but the stench of decays and feces filled her nose. “Eww! I’m definitely not going that way!” She headed in another direction, where the hoof steps seemed to be behind each other. As if one were following and the other leading.

She was excited as they were getting even closer and closer. She would soon find out who had been in the forest that night. She followed them out of the forest, leading towards the river not far from Fluttershy’s cottage. She walked up to the river and found nopony there. “That’s weird, the tracks end here.” She stayed around for a couple more minutes, finding nothing. She left thinking that it was probably some pegasi and went to Fluttershy’s home for a break.


"Oh..man, that was intense!” Both Anthony and Benjamin came out of the water, their heads soaked. “I beat you this time, Squirt! I still hold the title for ‘Holding their Breath Under Water the Most’.” They both had been under the water for ten minutes, holding their breath was a natural-born talent. This was the reason why they had always won on their swimming teams in school.

They got out of the water to dry themselves off, now satisfied with the coolness of the water. “That was refreshing!” Benjamin exclaimed. “Yeah, tell me about it.” They walked around a little longer, using the sun’s heat rays to dry off their bodies. Once dried, they re-equipped their armor and weapons.

“Well now what?” Benjamin asked in curiosity. “I dunno. Hey see that hill? I bet we can get an awesome vantage point from there!” Anthony pointed towards a cliff that wasn’t too far out. “Alright, let’s go.” They headed to the cliff and looked down.

The whole landscape was both beautiful and mystifying to them. Not once, had they ever seen such art in their lives. The only time that could compare was life before Emergence Day. “Dude, that is fucking awesome.” Anthony said in bewilderment. “Hey! Use your Longshot and see what’s that in the middle!” Anthony pointed towards some buildings off in the far distance.

“Good idea.” Benjamin looked through the scope of his sniper rifle. Looking around, there were buildings. They were colorful and had a ‘country’ look to them. One of the buildings looked odd to him. It was what seemed to be a full sized gingerbread house. ‘That looks tasty.’ He thought to himself. He couldn’t find any people though. There were chickens sure enough, and there were pigs also, but he couldn’t find anything else.

“Can’t find anybody. It seems to be a town, brah. I did see some chickens and pigs though.” “Wait what did you say?” Benjamin didn’t bother to turn to look at him, still wondering where the people were. “I said chickens and pi-“ He heard a loud girlish squeal. Anthony jumped up into the air, and clicked his two feet together really quick.

“Ham and Bacon! Here I come!”