Applejack strode with the others back towards the dark hole. "Ya reckon they'll be happy ta hear tha good news?"
Scootaloo bobbed her head as she went. "I bet they'll be blown away at how fast we were."
The butler paused as they reached the edge of where the damage begin. "Pardon my forwardness, but I can't say I look forward to servicing the needs of rats. Still, I will obey the Lady's desires."
Apple Bloom waved a hoof up at the human. "Don't think of it none too hard. I betcha they'll be nice enough folk once ya get ta know 'em."
The butler didn't approach any further, but the girls could find the rest of the way on their own. Applejack looked down at Sweetie. "Ya sure yer ready for this? Ya don't have to. We're just bringing good news after all, and ya did mighty fine already."
Sweetie shrank back a little. "If it's OK, I'll stay in the back."
Applejack nodded at Sweetie, reaching to give her a soft pat. "It's just fine. Ah'll take care of it."
They approached the dark hole. Scootaloo suddenly took off, zipping up and tagging Applejack's hat with a quick spell. The stetson began to glow softly, dispelling the darkness.
"Huh," said Applejack. "It's better'n a torch. Thanks kindly." She advanced on the hole. "Hey, got some goo--" Applejack broke off, hearing strange noises from the hole. Lowering her head a little, she could hear the rats were in a tizzy. "Hey, what's going on in there?"
One of the rats turned to Applejack. "Blimey! We're under attack, yew under-sized 'orse! Either 'elp us awer go away. Nuff said, yeah?"
Applejack started to respond, but the Crusaders rushed past her--at least Apple Bloom and Scootaloo did. Sweetie Belle stopped behind Applejack, unwilling to move past her.
"Ya can stay here.... Should be safe," Applejack said to the filly before crouching down and following the other girls.
The tunnels were just the right size for the ratfolk, making them a little tight--but reasonable--for the Crusaders and an awkward squeeze for Applejack as they followed the sounds of shouting and fighting. In a wider cavern, the rats were engaged in a pitched battle with some small, scaly bipeds that reminded the ponies of Spike.
Apple Bloom quickly drew out one of her bomb packets and sent it flying into a dense group of lizard people, where it exploded in a bright flash and accompanied by hisses of pain. Scootaloo drew her little blade, but hesitated to advance with it. "None of my spells are good right now!" The hilt of her sword muffled her voice a little, but her meaning was clear to her companions.
Applejack summoned the protective disc as she brought down a hoof on a nearby lizard. "Ah'll keep it clear around us, girls. Don't move away from me, ya hear?" They both nodded, keeping close to Applejack as they watched the battle. Apple Bloom tossed a second bomb when the timing felt right, catching several more lizards in the explosion. Applejack had launched a full offensive, pounding any lizard thing that came too close to the ponies into the dirt. The fight wasn't going as well as they would have liked, with the rats being pushed back.
Suddenly, Sweetie's voice pierced the din of combat, rising above it. It was a soft song of hope and summer, with an undercurrent of struggle. The rats were affected by it as surely as Sweetie's friends, and the tide began to change. Fighting with a renewed sense of purpose, the rats began to win over their reptilian enemies. Thomas emerged from the fray, covered in a variety of cuts and bruises. "Awright geeezzaa! So yew came back after all? I didn't expect yew ter show up in da middle ov a raid, but I'm not angry at da timing. Sorted mate." He lifted his crossbow and let loose a bolt, catching one of the scaled attackers before they could plunge a spear into a rat. "Very appreciated."
Scootaloo shoved her sword away and rushed to Sweetie Belle with a broad smile. "I'm glad to see you! You feeling OK?"
Apple Bloom let loose her last bomb before joining Scootaloo. "Keep doin' what yer doin'! It's working ah think."
With the Crusaders tucked away in the entrance, Applejack felt emboldened to advance further into the cavern. She was proving too much for any of the scaled creatures to handle in single combat, and they were starting to realize it. Soon she had two, then three of them trying to overwhelm her, but she was an engine of determined pain. The exposed backs of those brave, or foolish, enough to challenge Applejack were soon set upon by rats, and together they were clearing the cavern. The sounds of battle began to die away, and soon only the quieter sounds of the injured were left.
Scootaloo moved to join Applejack in a fit of renewed bravery. She shied back, but charged in with her blade whenever the opportunity to get a quick jab in presented itself. The rats could find no fault in her strategy.
Thomas looked over the remaining Crusaders. "Can any of ya lil' 'orses do sum 'ealin' magic? we 'ave sum casualties over 'ere we might save."
They followed Thomas over to a row of terribly wounded rats and almost in unison made faces at the grotesque nature of life-or-death battle. Sweetie rushed up and sang her song of renewal, bringing peace to two of the rats. They didn't awaken, but they sagged and relaxed while still breathing. "That's... all I have..." Sweetie was panting and tired, having dug deep into her song magic.
Thomas nodded as he looked over them. "They'll bee 'ive. You've done in the bleedin' buff for wahn day. If we 'ad any bread and honey, it would be yours."
Apple Bloom huffed. "We did it cause it was the right thing to do."
"Your loss."
Applejack wandered over to the Crusaders. "Everything alright over here? Y'all OK?" All three heads bobbed at her and she sighed out in relief. "Alright, good. Thomas was it? We got some mighty good news fer ya."
Thomas put his crossbow face-first on the ground and leaned on it. "Oh? Wot kind of news is that? Daan't keep me waitin'."
Scootaloo spoke up quickly, clopping her hooves together. "You can all live in one of the houses up above. No more dirty tunnels or, uh, attacks from whatever those were."
Thomas frowned and threw up a paw. "'re ya kiddin' wif me? Sid ya kill the cats or summit?"
Apple Bloom's eyes widened. "No! We talked to her, and she said she'd ratha have you as tenants than hidin' in her walls."
Applejack nodded. "Ah heard her maself. If y'all will come out of the tunnels, there's a butler waiting to show you to your new home. Y'all have ta pa--"
Thomas held up a paw with a full scowl. "There it is. We daan't 'ave bread and honey! if she wants gold aahhht of us, she can wither up and die for aw that I care."
Other rats, apparently listening in on the conversation, shouted their agreement and irritation.
Apple Bloom held up her hooves. "Calm down. She's a really nice lady, cat, rat, pony, or whatever. Just give her a chance. If you don't have any money, fine, but ah bet if you're just civil she'll give y'all a chance ta make money."
Thomas let out a tired sigh and turned towards the gathering crowd. "Alwigh' boys. We can stay 'ere and slowly die, or we can give the this and that lydy a try. Let's give it a chance, alwigh'?"
The crowd rippled with opposing thoughts. Some advanced to stand by Thomas, while others remained resolute in standing in opposition. One of the opposition leveled a sword at Thomas. "Ya might be won over by the sweet dickie birds of sum this and that Doug McClure ya ain't even pearly queen yet, but we won't be! We're leavin'. I 'ope ya 'ave fan in your cage." The dissidents left in a grumbling mass. There were about six rats around Thomas, and as many wounded on the floor.
Applejack spoke arcane words of power, conjuring the floating disc. "Ya can put the injured up on here and we'll carry them to safety." The remaining rats were hesitant, but they soon had the disc loaded up and ready.
Thomas pointed at the fallen of the field. "Strip them daahhhn ter nuffin'. We'll not leef wif nuffin'!"
The rats quickly made a circuit across the field, stripping weapons and trinkets from the bodies with a determined efficiency. They amassed a pile in front of Thomas. Thomas began to poke through it, tossing aside what he deemed as worthless. Rusted and bent weapons were the first to go, then things like wooden rings and moldy food. The pile was soon whittled down to a small stack. Applejack, hit with sudden inspiration, nudged Scootaloo. "Can ya see if any o' that is magic?"
Scootaloo nodded quickly and cast the spell, looking over the pile, then turning her gaze over the junk pile and back again. "There's... something." She focused harder, then moved forward. She plucked the wooden ring out of the junk pile and held it up in her hooves, looking it over. "It... is a shielding ring! Cool!" Scootaloo turned and put it over Sweetie's horn. "You deserve it." Once the ring slid down as far as it could go, a faint skin of energy crackled into place around Sweetie Belle, then faded away.
Thomas nodded. "I'd normally 'rgue that, but considerin' the 'elp she's been today, I agree."
Apple Bloom grinned widely. "Our first treasure! Is there anything else, Scoots?"
Scootaloo turned her attention back to the collected assortment of things. She slowly nudged out a few vials, which Apple Bloom snatched up. "Ah can handle these." She shook them carefully, held them up to Applejack's hat, which was still glowing, and inspected each carefully. "Two of them are healing potions, tha other's some kinda magic ta make yer skin harder."
Thomas advanced and claimed the healing potions. He moved to the injured rats and fed them slowly to the unconscious ones. One of the two he could get to suddenly awoke with a groan of pain. The rat was quickly brought up to speed. The recovered rat approached the ponies, giving an appreciative bow, then backed away without a word.
Scootaloo shook her head. "Don't see any more magic."
Thomas shrugged softly. "Not a sorry and sad 'aul. We paid too 'igh a price for it, but we're beechams pill jack's, so that'll 'ave ter do for na. lead the bloody way."
They left the battlefield and emerged into the hallway of the manor house. The butler stood there patiently. The lights had been relit. "I decided to have confidence in you. I trust your negotiation went well?"
Applejack stretched out in the plentiful space of the hall. "Ah could use some rest, but we pulled through. There were some nasty scaled varmints in there. Ya best close up that tunnel right quick."
Thomas emerged with the Crusaders next. The butler raised a brow. "Our new guests?"
Applejack nodded. "About a dozen of 'em."
Scootaloo pointed at the butler. "You better be nice to them! They've been through a lot." Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle gave strong agreements and all three nodded in unison.
The manor's tranquility would be broken. Perhaps it was for the best?
new friends are forged.
this story is really flowing nicely good work David Silver.
Harts Fire
Ah. Well, it's a shame it couldn't end bloodlessly, but the kobolds clearly weren't open to diplomacy. I suppose the ratfolk were getting too close to their warrens for comfort. That, or something else was commanding them to attack; it doesn't seem like kobolds to be so aggressive on their own.
In any case, this was quite the experience for the Crusaders, in several sense of the word. I'm sure they'll appreciate their newfound prowess, but I doubt they'll be happy with what it took to achieve it.
I found a typo with a level-appropriate CR:
Capitalization needed.
I just got all caught up with this and A Dangerous Sparkle, so I thought I would give back by hunting typos.
Ah'll
It's a little awkward, perhaps:
Applejack broke off, hearing strange noises from the hole. Lowering her head a little, she could hear the rats were in a tizzy.
Applejack started to respond, but the Crusaders rushed past her--at least Apple Bloom and Scootaloo did. Sweetie Belle stopped behind Applejack, unwilling to move past her.
"Ya can stay here.... Should be safe," Applejack said to the filly before crouching down and following the other girls.
The tunnels were just the right size for the ratfolk, making them a little tight--but reasonable--for the Crusaders and an awkward squeeze for Applejack as they followed the sounds of shouting and fighting. In a wider cavern, the rats were engaged in a pitched battle with some small, scaly bipeds that reminded the ponies of Spike.
accompanying or flash, accompanied by
blade but hesitated
The hilt of her sword muffled her voice a little, but her meaning was clear to her companions.
Suddenly, Sweetie's voice pierced the din of combat, rising above it.
reptilian
fray
It sounds like AJ is in pain, rather than dishing it out.
Soon, two tried to overwhelm her, then three, but she plowed through them like the Friendship Express.
remaining
Wot
Daan't
Did
We
If
The typos speak in strange glyphs :)
and
Let's
and
We're
We'll
Either
made a circuit of the field
or
quickly crossed the field
unconscious
The recovered rat approached the ponies, gave an appreciative bow, and then backed away without a word.
We
Lead
I've never seen anyone use Rhyming Slang in a pony fic. You have my respect.
Have you considered having the Crusaders meet the Moon Princess? Luna seems to make a habit of appearing to the Crusaders (Sleepless in Ponyville, For Whom the Sweetie Belle Tolls, and I think the S5 episode Bloom and Gloom might give AB her chance).
Also, you've never had the ponies react to the Night Mare. Given Nightmare Moon, I would think that her name would merit some reaction. Though if the Crusaders approach the Night Mare with the thought that she's not as scary as she seems (like Luna in Luna Eclipsed), they're in for a nasty surprise.
Also, they've met one Clockwork, but I think it'd be fun if they came across one adding or changing their "Mark of Destiny" since it's just a decoration to them.
"CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS, TATTOO ARTISTS!"
"Nnnnnope!"
There needs to be an apostrophe in that "Ah'll."
The rats began to win over their "reptilian" enemies.
The "if" needs to be capitalized.
He put his crossbow "face-first" on the ground.
Capitalize the first letter of the first word in each sentence.
Same thing here. Capitalization isn't a stylistic issue of speaking, so I'm presuming these are genuine errors.
Some kinda magic ta make "yer" skin harder.
I think what surprised me most in this chapter was that Applejack and the CMC jumped straight into battle here, whereas they took great pains to undertake a diplomatic solution before. I would have expected them to at least make a token effort to stop the fight, given that the lizardfolk were presumably as alien to them as the ratfolk were, and they had bargained with the latter before. How did they know that, for example, the ratfolk hadn't stolen that particular lair from the lizardfolk earlier? They had recently been driven out of their previous abode, after all. That scene would have worked better if the rats had been facing a more-obviously monstrous enemy, like giant bugs or slime monsters or something.
Beyond that, it was quite believable that the rats had an internal falling out over whether or not to accept the offer to "go legit," even if they had to work to earn their keep. Whether they get along now will largely depend on if they think they're being treated respectfully and fair by their new landlady. Thomas and his lot aren't bad characters, but they aren't growing on me the way that Lady Longtail is - not just because of their accent, but their standoffish attitude. It's completely understandable, but they seem to be trying to keep the ponies at a distance, and so they don't seem like characters that I can easily empathize with.
Still, this particular job seems like it's over, which means that AJ and co. should be in line to get paid. Technically, that also means that they'll need to leave Longtail Manse (is that the name?), so it'll be interesting to see if they're asked, or find an excuse, to stay on longer. I hope they do, because I quite like that old cat. I also can't help but wonder about the butler's story. Presumably he's an "Alfred"-type of character, but I think it would be nice if there was something more to him than just unyielding propriety. Maybe he and Lady Longtail are closer than either are letting on?
Kobolds, eh? Between them and the rat-folk, it's a wonder that there is any un-trapped floor left.
over-sized (and perhaps you meant "under-sized"? there's only one equine species that's any smaller)
In this accent, I think "any of" becomes "any o' " or "anya" (ah is the substitute for the "I" sound)
backed
The typo menace can never be truly defeated, just held at bay.
5874319
This simile presumes that we have seen the Friendship Express actually plow through something.
There's a certain amount of having your cake and eating it too in the last two chapters. AJ and the CMC (but she's an honorary member now, so same difference) try the diplomacy approach on the rats and get a tentative agreement. Then they go make arrangements and when they come back they have to defend their new allies from kobolds. Our heroes get to be moral and caring, but we still get to see them stomp some vermin. I'm not objecting, I'm just noticing. Hopefully, "exterminate Kobolds" pays the same as "exterminate Rat-folk".
5874649 Fixes applied, thankee!
5874319 Fixes, fixes everywhere!
5874387 I had three editors today it seemed! I shouldn't complain.
Just caught up on the Dangerous Sparkle series. Really glad to see that while the CMC are taking center stage here, Applejack is still here to keep an eye on them. I also like the setting you've chosen, a great trading city where coin governs all. I think of this city as Cat-apesh.
5875150 Welcome aboard the train! I'm glad you're enjoying your ride.
I wonder if they should put a trade desk in that room, after tidying up the wall and tunnel etc. the surface lot dont enter the tunnel, the tunnel crew dont enter the house, but they can trade for food, water, information, supplies etc? the tunnel crew end up win win?
Is that Level 0 to Level 1, or Level 1 to Level 2?
5875458 https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxUh1iVHP4kiUzBCTk14bVhsalU/view?usp=sharing
Missing capitalization!
6464900 Fixed
Ah'll
6464903 yay, thy found a t0 ring of protection, it reduces the attack by half a hit point