• Member Since 9th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen Jun 4th, 2017

capkirk123


T

When a convoy of automated freighters go missing in pirate infested territory, no-one suspects anything unusual. But when one of them resurfaces over a century later on the edge of know space, a ship is sent to investigate. But what they find is something much different. A world inhabited by dozens of intelligent races, and full of magic. But when a shuttle is forced down and its crew captured by the natives, the fate of the entire planet is put at risk.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 11 )

I'm enjoying the hardness of the science fiction aspects. Heat radiators! Engines that are interesting enough to be weapons of mass destruction! I'll let you off this time with the artificial gravity. :pinkiecrazy:

The pacing could be a bit less... hurried, I guess? Also, remember: new person speaking means a new paragraph. :twilightsmile:

Given you're writing on a Kindle I can't really complain about the formatting. My Kindle feels so oldschool now. :raritydespair:

Don't know anything about the story itself, just noticed something in the description that tonnes of people do but probably shouldn't

MLP:FiM and all associated material is property of Hasbro

This is a fanfiction site, it's pretty obvious that the one thing that links all the stories on here is not owned by any of the writers, and since this is a non-profit site it's not like you'd be breaking any rules by leaving that out.

So far it has been enjoyable enough to warrant being tracked. So the real question is how will this all go to heck? I also applaud you starting this story on a tablet it had to be a real headache to type out.

6061492 Hey, thanks for the advice. I should now have access to my PC, so that should help with formatting. I like hard sci-to as well, and decided there weren't enough good hard sci-do stories. Although, currently, according to the like bar, good is not an adjective that can be applied to this story. Well, this is my first story, and I don't have an editor, but I'll try to fix pacing and stuff.

6062393 Hey, thanks for tracking. Now that I have learned a bit more about proper dialogue and have access to a tab key, things should get better. Also, for how everything goes wrong shuttle+magical rainbow= boom, and biology is happy to do the rest

I like the take on Equestria being visited from space faring vessels as opposed to the constant portal from another dimension motif that everyone uses.Next chapter should be very interesting.

Welp that's not good, Rainbow Dash just screwed up by just attacking instead of trying to gather more information and Mark just shot a national hero. so who made the bigger blunder here do we all think? My vote is Mark he knew that this was a habitat planet with natives and he opens fire with out trying to make peaceful first contact.

6072139 Yeah, I think I might have made RD a bit to brash, but this is set pretty early in the show. RD is probably lucky it was only a flesh wound, those 10mm rifles are nearly as powerful as a .50 Cal. And yeah, Mark gets yelled at by David in the next chapter for just blindly shooting. But technically, since contact is against protocol, shooting would be better, but if Mark had actually know that it was a Pegasus he wouldn't have shot. He wasn't actually trying to hit her, but the homing bullets did their job a bit to well.

MLP:FiM and all associated material is property of Hasbro

No shit. :derpytongue2:

What is this word trouT-5ble? I think you mean trouble but something is in between it.

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