Chapter 2 - Where am I? (Edited)
????
Shadow's POV
As I continue to fall in this endless abyss, I see nothing but darkness all around me. There was nothing in sight.
"So this is it?" I say to myself in frustration. "I'm just going to keep falling in this endless void until I die of starvation? Well this is fan-fucking-tastic."
"I wouldn't worry about that."
I flinched as a voice sounded off. I looked around franticly.
"Hello? Who's there?!"
"You don't recognize me?" The voice said.
"I can't see you anywhere in this place. Even with my night vision.
"Oh, how rude of me. Let me lighten things up."
As true to his words, it sounded like a guy from how deep his voice was, streams of glowing purple pixels started floating around me as more stream up. When I spot the mystery voice, I was both surprised and a bit annoyed at who I see.
"Notch?! Why you of all people?!" I glared.
"Well, thought's one way greet someone. Rude, but we all have our ways. I won't judge." Notch said.
"What are you doing here?" Suddenly, a thought came to me. "Speaking of which, what is 'here'?"
"To answer your question, you're in a place called the Midnight Zone."
"Midnight Zone?" I ask. "What the in the Nether is that?"
"The Midnight Zone is the void outside the Dimensional Barrier." Notch explains. "Right now, you are falling through the bridge that connects each dimensions together."
"What does that mean? What's going to happen?! Am I going to die?! I already had a bad life as it is!"
I was starting to panic. Truth be told, I had a terrible life trying to survive among those damn Minecrafters. Now I'm going to die from reading a book? Fuck that!
"Calm yourself, young one." Notch said. "You will very much still be alive."
Well that's a relief.
"Though, once you cross through the barrier in the other dimension, you will never come back to your original."
...What...
"What?" Was all I said.
"I'm sorry to tell you this, but anything that comes through the Midnight Zone will never be seen again from their world."
"So this is it?" I ask. "But what will I do in this... other world?"
"That is for you to decide your on destiny, Shadow." Notch said as him and the purple lights around me starts to slowly fade.
"Wait! What's going to happen if I do cross through this barrier-whatever?!"
"Once you come through the Dimensional Barrier, your original form will change to blend in with the inhabitants on the other side."
"But will I be?!"
"You will soon find out." Notch looked like a ghost at this point. "Good luck, Shadow the Enderman. May me and my brother, Herobrine watch over you!"
That was the last thing he said before him and the lights that were around me faded to nothingness. It was just me now, all by myself.
'Now what?' I thought.
Suddenly, a faint white light shined below me. It was getting brighter and brighter by the second. I closed by eyes, trying to block out the really bright light. A few moments later, felt myself land with a thud. Whatever I landed on felt like... wood? I open my eyes to see the most weirdest sight I ever seen. In front of me was a lavender horse with a small purple dragon on its back. They were both staring at me with the look of pure shock. Before I could do anything, I suddenly felt weak as the world around me turned to darkness once again.
To let you guys know, I'm starting this adventure after the invasion on the wedding. And yes, Shadow will meet the others before having "The Crystal Empire" episode starts. But, I will change a bit of the story to spice it up a bit.
I also going to have make this story on my free time. School is nearly done and I have to catch up on my grades, so stay tuned on the week-days of weekends.
Well... I'll see everypony next time on the next chapter.
HAVE A GOOD ONE EVERYPONY!
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lol
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!
Light, hard-to-read font, annoying, but not something to fuss over.
Chapter smaller than before, hopefully not a sign of future chapters.
Plot line introduced, not much explanation nor reason, not promising.
Moving on.
You find yourself in a bridge between worlds, a dimension of sight, of sound, you are now in, the midnight zone
7038614 Y' be quite fond of makin' notes, eh, laddy?
More grammatical errors. Spelling errors also introduced.
The plot is a bit loose. This seems more like a comedy, it looks like it's not being taken seriously.
The idea of this 'Midnight Zone' is cool, I'll admit. But this chapter is just full of exposition because of it.
There's no reason for Notch to come out and explain everything that's happening. It ruins the suspense of the story. Stops the audience asking questions as everything I explained, handed to them on a silver platter.
Do you self-edit?
Is English not your primary language?
I recommend getting an editor if either answer is yes.
I stop reading here. I was hoping re reading this story would be better than the last time I read it. And the edited/rewritten status on in some of the chapters made me hopeful of the quality. But it doesn't seem to have improved
Sorry for being blunt.
some errors, otherwise good so far :)