Entry 9, Part 1 (Look Before You Seer)
“Huf damm... so cbaleym... kenm; fryd... oui fyhhy... frah... knuf...?”
“Dryd’c... daddy! ... fyhhy pa y...!”
“Rurur, zisbeh’... aht, Barbie? Huf frana’c... dryd?”
I awake with a start.
Panting hoarsely, my body drenched in sweat; it takes a good few minutes for my breathing to steady, and for my heart to stop pounding in my ears...
Ugh.
"Another one?" I moan out tiredly, wishing desperately for this week of nonsense to just end already. "Seriously? Three times in a row...? Good grief."
With talons pressed firmly against my temple, I attempt to remember the dream’s fading details...
...
... Yup.
Nothing.
How typical.
"What the hell did you do to my head, Princy?” I ask the empty bedroom, as if it held my answer. "It was all nice and somewhat organized before you showed up, but now... Sigh... What the hell, dude? What the hell..."
What could I have possibly done in my past life to deserve all this ridiculou-
Er, on second thought, don't answer that question.
I probably wouldn't like the answer.
My innumerable sins aside, that whole thing that just happened right now? With the English and the belly-aching and the sweating of the bed? In case I didn't make it painfully obvious; that's not normal.
It's super not normal.
Heck, dreams IN GENERAL aren't normal for me! Daydreams? Yes. Fantasies? Yes. Ice cream overdose hallucinations? Unfortunately yes… But dream dreams? Nuh-uh. Call it a quirk of being a dragon, or maybe a sign of early brain damage; whatever the case may be, the answer is still the same: Dreaming simply isn’t a thing this body of mine does!
Dreams are so incredibly rare to me, in fact, that I can count all the ones I've had in the past seven years on a single claw! I remember the one I had when I was an infant, for example, where I relived the fateful car crash that ended my life as a human. I recall the one I had when I was a fresh Ponyvillian too, where I temporarily saw through the eyes of a dragoness named, er, Bogmill, I think. Not sure if that one's canon though; I was pretty tired when I wrote the entry about it... Last but certainly not least who could forget the one I had earlier this week, where Prince Artemis forced me to tumble through my memories against my will?
Since the former on this shortlist happened way more recently than the latters, my current working theory is that Mister Ex-Nightterror Nebula is the culprit behind my sudden noisy nights. His meddling in the Dream Realm must have jiggled loose the mental blocks that were preventing me from dreaming in the first place!
It's the most logical explanation I can think of... or at least the most thematically appropriate... so it's probably the correct one.
Artemis' overall level of guiltiness aside, I’m not sure how I feel about this new development. Sure dreams are supposed to be good for processing emotions, of which I have A LOT, but for all I know those blocks were put in place to stop adult-level nightmares from liquifying my baby brain into a thick paste of past regrets, homesickness, and existential dread! Them being gone now means that I’ll… I’ll...
… probably still drive myself crazy over past regrets, homesickness, and existential dread.
...
… Hey I never claimed the blocks were doing their job well.
Knock knock knock
Ah.
Speaking of jobs, it looks like it's time for me to do mine.
My 'alarm' is ringing.
"Barb?" calls out Dusk Shine from behind the closed loft door. "You should probably start getting up. It's almost an hour before noon."
"Thank you!" I call back as I rise out of my tiny bed. "Let me just get dressed and I'll be right down."
"Get dressed?" my charge grunts quizzingly in reply. "What, you mean put on your purse?"
"Never ask a lady what 'getting dressed' means, Dusk," I scold in-between realigning my scales, straightening my bedfin, and curling my eyelashes. "That path leads naught but to ruin."
"Ah. Duly noted... Do you want me to reheat some waffles for your breakfast then, 'madam'?"
"I shall humbly accept this tribute so that your sins may be abolished, puny mortal."
"She's hanging out with those colts way too much," Dusk chuckles to himself, thinking I can't hear him. "One order of leftover waffles coming right up, Barb! Going to throw in some hay bacon strips too for good measure, to make sure your stomach isn't all growly for your royal business! Think what Prince Solaris would say if it was, haha!"
Clip clop clip clop...
With that, he was gone...
...
... Sigh
Right... right...
Today is... the day.
Prince Solaris awaits.
…
… Inhale… exhale… Tuck and roll, sugarcube.
Tuck and roll.
◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠
~Dear Diary~
Today I danced with the sun.
◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠◠
“... Thirty eight... Thirty nine... Forty bits. Perfect... Alright, Dusk!” I cry out from the foyer. With my purse fully packed, and with sixteen hours of baby dragon rest under my nonexistent belt, I'm feeling a tad more ready to tackle this day now than I was fifteen minutes ago. “I’m heading out! I’ll be back from Canterlot tomorrow!”
“Okay, Barb!” I hear Dusk calling back from his desk. “Be safe!”
“Will do," I nod, pausing only briefly to lick some syrup off my cheek. "Oh!" I then gasp, almost biting my tongue in the process. "And please remember what we talked about the other da-”
“I promise you I won’t overdo it with my reading,” Dusk interrupts me bluntly. Lifting his muzzle out of his book and glancing my way, he demonstrates his sincerity. "No need to worry about me."
“Good,” I grin from the doorway. “And if you stay a good pony while I’m gone, I might even bring back a box of Mary Joe’s designer donuts for us to share!”
“How would you even know if I’m behaving or not from all the way in Canter- '' Upon realizing that he’s receiving a stink eye from me, Dusk abruptly ends his overanalyzing. “O... O-okay. I’ll be good.”
“Thank you,” I beam happily, now truly ready to go. Hoisting my still damaged bag over my shoulder, I grip the Golden Oak’s door handle tightly and begin to depart.
Before I could exit fully, however…
“Wait a moment, Barb!” the sole pony in the library suddenly shouts, regaining my attention. “I almost forgot to give you something!” Standing where I’m at, unmoving, I next watch as he gallops off upstairs and out of my line of sight.
“I’m kinda on a time crunch here, Dusk!” I call back, as my eyes wander towards the clock on the wall. “I have to get to the train station before noon!”
“Won’t take more than a second!” he yells from the loft, his words muffled by the ceiling separating us. “Now where did I leave that darn… Aha! Found it!”
Clip clop clip clop
With a loud rumbling of hooves Dusk dashes back to the lobby, and across the room, in order to present me with a single item.
A letter.
“Can you deliver this for me please?” the teenaged stallion asks me with hopeful eyes, and glowing horn.
Blinking in surprise, I delicately take the envelope out of his magical grip and give it a once over. “But there’s no sending seal,” I point out, flipping it around to check. “And no stamp either.”
“That’s because it needs to go to Canterlot with you, Barb.”
Fluttering my eyelashes once more, I consider Dusk’s riddle for a moment longer…
… before turning the letter to the front again, and quickly solving the mystery.
“Whoa,” I exclaim, re-reading the address line; making sure my eyes weren’t mistaken. “You want me to deliver this to-”
“Yes,” Dusk bounces enthusiastically, pleased that I had put two and two together. “Yes I do.”
Holy moly!
Didn’t see this coming!
“You actually remembered what I told you last month about him?” I ask, genuinely shocked.
Twinkle twinkle pop
Ignoring my question, Dusk instead chooses to make a second request of me. “Please give him this too while you’re up there.”
Using my free claw, I grab the scroll seal that had materialized out of the unicorn's dimensional pocket and place it next to the letter.
“A message and a scroll seal?” I let out a low whistle, impressed by his forethought. “Are you sure about this? What about your friendship studies, or even your regular studies for that matter? This could end up being pretty distracting… Think you’ll be up to the task?”
“Well I suppose that’ll all depend on if my number one assistant is up to the task too,” my charge throws my question right back at me, his smirk never weaning as he waits for my now obvious reply.
Heh.
Guess I walked right into that one.
Resisting the urge to snark "I’m your only assistant, doofus,” I instead answer back with a hearty salute, and a prideful decree of; "You can count on me!”
“Oh you’re the best, Barb!” the nerdy stallion whinnies joyfully, tittering on all four of his hooves.
“I know,” I puff cheekily. “But I’m humbly modest about it~”
“Snrk,” Dusk snickers in reply, failing to hide his bemusement. Returning now to his desk, and subsequently his studies, my favorite purple unicorn grants me one final command before I head out. "Have fun with your royal business!”
“And you with your guys slumber party,” I think to myself, not daring to say the words aloud. “Will do!” is what I actually say, as I stow the two delivery items away into my purse and finally leave the library.
Slam!
One shut door later, I find myself on the streets of Ponyville in the midst of another beau-ti-ful day.
Reeeeaaaallly wish I could stay here instead of going to lame, dragon-disliking Canterlot...
… but unfortunately the future isn’t going to save itself.
I'm really going to have my work cut out for me today; so much has happened since I moved to Ponyville that it’s honestly daunting to look back on. Prince Artemis left Equestria for one thing, a pony named Stardust Glimmer purposefully derailed an episode for another, and there's strange nonsense afoot concerning Spike and Luna of which I can only surmise! Even looking past the Seer junk yields no sense of calm, as within the span of a single month Dusk and I have made new friends, had minor squabbles with said friends, saved the town from both a snoring dragon and Applejack, taught Rainbow Dash how to be a lady, and... and...
Aaaannnnddd I’m rambling.
Sorry.
There’s no need for a recap this early on in my tale, especially when what I should be focusing on right now is the fast approaching royal business.
As you might recall, ‘Royal Business’ is just a code phrase Prince Solaris and I made up to blanketly describe our monthly gatherings with. Under the guise of benign finance management and assignment critiquing, these get-togethers are in actuality a secret Dusk Shine performance review. During them I’ll be expected to share my own take on the past month’s worth of friendship lessons, as well as point out any noteworthy events that happened in-between one letter and the next. All visions will be on the table too, meaning I’ll be allowed to discuss them in the off chance outside action is required to help them along.
Solaris, being the head Seer honcho that he is, wants the future to stay mostly unchanged, while I just want it to go smoothly. Having the show progress normally would logically satisfy BOTH of our desires, so it’s in our shared interest to keep things shipshape wherever we see fit. Chaos is the antithesis of everything we hold dear, which is about the only thing the two of us a hundred percent agree on when it comes to raising Dusk...
… Or at least I thought that was something Solaris and I a hundred percent agreed on.
While admittedly such a scenario was never outright discussed, I had always assumed the Prince would want to be in the know if things ever careened off course. His unreceptiveness towards the possibility of a rogue Seer contradicts that image though, as too his lack of correspondence about the dragon from Dragonshy... Oh and don’t even get me started on the moving of Eris’ statue!
Anyone here remember that one?
The super important canon change Solaris agreed was necessary, but never saw fit to update me about?!
Huff
I’m still a teeny, tiny bit salty over that one, in case you couldn't tell. Humph.
In all seriousness though, what the actual hay is going on with that stallion lately?! It can’t be that he’s just been too busy running the kingdom to bother with me, can it? There were times where it felt like he was breathing down mine and Dusk's necks when we lived in Canterlot, but now... nothing.
Well, regardless of what his excuse is going to turn out to be, our meeting will no doubt be an intense one as I pirouette around what I know, don’t know, and what I assume I know all for the sake of building a better tomorrow. How many of my secrets will I lose this time, I wonder; how much more of my hoard will I be forced to surrender in exchange for knowledge…?
Ugh.
I hate not knowing what to expect.
The only thing I do know with certainty is that Prince Artemis was just a warm up; the real battle of wits starts now.
In my heart I must repeat a single, unquestionable mantra if I dare hope to succeed. No matter how daunting my opponent may be, or how scared I feel, I, Barbara The Dragoness, must not allow anyone to stand in my way towards victory; not even myself! My mind must be tranquil, my spirit must be still, and my concentration must be razor sharp if I am to rise above this day, and dominate the mental battlefield.
Nothing must surprise me, nothing must distract me, and nothing mus-
“Bow storm!”
“Bow storm?”
Whoosh!
Before I could react, a chromatic whirlwind of color suddenly envelops my vision and roots me in place. A sensation akin to thousands of hooves lightly tapping me at once soon follows, t-tickling me from head to toe.
Whoosh!
Just as soon as it had appeared the controlled mini-tornado ceases to be. In its wake flutters not but a single pegasus mare.
A mare who wasn’t really a mare, but in actuality a stallion. “Bow storm,” Rainbow Dash repeats himself with a mischievous smile. “Looking good there, Barb! I think the one on your tail suits you the best!”
“Wha?” I start to question, still dazed by the pony’s sudden appearance. While regaining my footing, my claw shifts absentmindedly across my purse strap.
Fump
This results in it bumping up against something that hadn’t been there a second ago:
A frilly pink ribbon.
“What the?” I shift the bag around, trying to get a better look. More colorful bows are scattered all across it, covering the rips and tears left behind by the magical explosion from a few days ago. That wasn’t the only thing covered in accessories either; one cursory glance past my satchel reveals to me the fact that the rest of my body is now similarly covered in various ties and laces.
They're the same ones currently dotting Rainbow Dash’s body too, I quickly note.
An absolute spectrum of ribbons can be seen threaded throughout every inch of the stallion’s tail, their hues ranging from aquamarine to sapphire to ruby. A necklace of them hangs loosely from his neck as well, almost dragging across the ground even as he hovers. Lastly, to complete the look, Dash has braided his mane into twin, multicolored pigtails just so the two largest bows of the whole set could be displayed proudly in all their youthful splendor…
… or maybe he did it up that way just to make himself feel pretty.
It’s honestly hard to tell sometimes with him.
“Aggressively cute,” is my first thought, while my second is, “Wait, the one on my tail?” as I recall the thing RD had said to me prior. Turning my head makes me aware of two, similarly oversized bows that had been affixed to the sides of my head during the quote unquote bow storm, as well as to the detail that my tail had not been spared the ‘carnage’. There’s a bright emerald ribbon now attached to the very tip of it, only a smidgen below the magenta spike.
Considering that the spines running down my back are a similar shade of green, and that this accessory's position prevents it from getting in my way as I go about my business…
…
“... Eeeeeee!” I let out a very ‘adult’ and ‘mature’ squee; I assure you. “Oh my gosh you’re right! It suits me perfectly!”
“Heh, thought you'd say that,” my honorary gal pal boasts excitedly, satisfied with his work.
“Can I keep it?”
“Of course you can, girl.”
Okay I’ll admit that this second squee won't be of the grown-up variety.
Please don’t judge me too harshly; I don’t get gifts all that often.
“Eeee! Thank you thank you thank you Dash!”
“Hey don’t go thanking me,” the fabulous speedster laughs at my reaction. “Elusive is the pony who actually made them.”
“Eeeee-...”
This kills my excitement somewhat… but only somewhat.
“Oh, that figures,” I state pragmatically, dialing things back a bit. Taking off the bows attached to my ear-fins, I look more closely at them and discover Elusive’s name and address written on a tiny paper card hidden within. “Is this some kind of new marketing strat?”
“Eh, kinda," Dash goes on to explain while still in midair. “Apparently some dude placed a humongous order for them last week, but then he freaking canceled on Elu at the last possible second! Demanded a refund too!”
“What?!” I gasp at this, disgusted that somepony could be so intentionally cruel to an artist. “No way!”
“I know, right?!” RD throws his hooves up in equal revulsion, shaking loose a few ribbons in the process. “After our buddy made a whole crate worth too! How messed up is that?! Customer confidentiality is the only thing keeping me from hunting the guy down and knocking their block off…” With a small snort, Rainbow then cups his front hoofs over his heart as he switches to a far more refined tone of voice. “But a lady doesn’t get mad when a gentlecolt gets ugly.”
“We get even instead,” I complete the quote, the one I had taught him, just as haughtily. “You were trained well, dear.”
"I had a darling teacher,” Dash teases back with another snort. "Figured the best way to show the jerkwad up would be to spread Elu’s hard work all around Ponyville, and get ponies to want to check out his store. BB is helping out too… in his own way.”
A shiver visibly runs down RD's spine.
"He’s more bow now than pony,” he reports solemnly.
“Tragic,” I comment dryly. “Smart plan though!”
“Eh, I can’t take credit for that either,” Rainbow shrugs with his wings, momentarily causing a drop in altitude. “Elu was the one who thought it up. All I did was agree to help out while he went off to do some volunteer work; something to take his mind off the ugliness, you know?”
“… Oh,” I remark, offering nothing more.
Jason was always good at coming up with smart solutions to problems. One time, he had this massive order of fancy scarfs where he did something similar an-
…
“... Elusive is good at coming up with smart solutions,” I tack on rather monotonically, wanting nothing more now than to change the subject.
Actually, I know exactly how to change it!
“Well I better be going, Dash,” I start departing, waving goodbye to the floating stallion as I do. "I’ll be sure to spread some of these advertisement bows around in Canterlot while I’m up there.”
Flap flap flap flap
To my somewhat annoyance, Rainbow Dash starts trailing lazily behind me.
“Canterlot?” he inquires casually. “You’re heading to Canterlot?”
Content with him having at least dropped the Elusive topic, I reply in better spirits with, “Yup! Got some royal business to take care of with Prince Solaris today.”
“Cool!” Dash responds pleasantly, surprisingly interested in what I have to say. "Like another super sweet mission?”
“Umm, kinda!” I answer back just as pleasantly. Guess when you think about it, this meeting is sort of like a royal mission. "He summons me pretty regularly to talk about Dusk’s studies.”
“He does?”
“Yup,” I confirm with a thumbs up.
Huh... Thought this conversation would have ended right there and then after mentioning ‘studies’ to him, but Rainbow still seems weirdly invested. Wonder why that is...? Though, now that I’ve just finished pointing this detail out, the pegasus immediately invalidates my internal narration by casting his eyes away from me.
Rude.
“But where’s Dusk at?” Rainbow Dash then questions, causing my eyebrow to rise.
“Studying at the library,” I answer back, not thinking much of it. Making sure to leave my new tail-bow right where it’s at, I start taking my excess accessories off and shoving them into my purse.
“I thought you said you were going to Canterlot though?” Rainbow points out in turn…
... making me at last realize what's been really on his mind:
I’m heading to Canterlot.
Dusk is nowhere to be seen.
Ergo, I’m a child traveling without a chaperone...
... In the words of any sane person; what the actual hell?
“Umm, y-yeah, I still am, Dash” I attempt to broach this subject delicately, now fully aware of Rainbow’s concern. “I’m going by train... and by myself.”
“By... B-by yourself?!” RD gasps loudly, his volume causing me to wince.
“Perk of being Solaris’ Squire,” I try to play it off as something commendable, instead of worrying. “I’m allowed to travel to and from Canterlot without adult supervision.”
“Why?!” Rainbow’s scream halts me in place.
It is quickly becoming apparent that this isn’t a topic he's going to let slide so easily.
“Honestly thought I'd be having this conversation with somepony like Red Gala first before Rainbow Dash... Oh well. I’m doing my duty as Dusk’s assistant, Dash,” I raise my voice, and turn to meet the worried pony’s gaze. “Sometimes that means running errands in Ponyville, and sometimes that means running them in Canterlot instead. It’s just my job.”
“Why does a little kid like you need a job in the first flipping plac-” Rainbow starts shouting, only to cut himself off. “Ugh! Sorry, sorry. Nevermind… But don't you think riding the train by yourself is, I don’t know, scary?”
Seeing an opening to derail and end this awkward talk for good, I smirk brightly as I retort with, “I don’t know, RD. Is riding the train by yourself ‘scary’ to you?”
Taking the bait, Dash grants me an indignant whiny for my accusation.
“Hey I am the toughest pony you know!” the pigtail rocking stallion declares defensively, accidentally dislodging a few more bows out of his girly braided tail in the process.
Sure you are, Dashie.
Sure you are.
The strong in the real way pony continues on. "All I’m saying is that if I was your age, and somepony asked me to leave Cloudsdale without one of my folks or a flight instructor with me... I-I don’t know if I would be brave enough to do it. There are some really weird ponies out there in Equestria, and it’s really easy to get lost in a place when you can’t see over crowds… Are you sure you’ll be okay, Barbara?”
“... Rainbow Dash,” I speak softly, having been completely blindsided by his honest concern.
Where on Equus is this coming from?
“Thank you for caring about me...” I first share my appreciation, before presenting my counterargument. “... but I’m a dragon! Most ponies are scared of going near my kind, and Dusk would have said no if he thought I was in any real danger! Remember, Canterlot was my home before Ponyville. I know my way around the capital super well, so please don't worry. Okay?”
“... Okay…” my loyal friend mutters back, accepting the loss. “If you’re really sure.”
“I’m ‘really sure’ that I don’t want to keep Solaris waiting,” I joke, hoping to banish away his new gloomy disposition. “I’m more afraid of upsetting him than I am of running into strangers, haha.”
Optimistically thinking that we’re done here, I resume walking towards the train station.
“…”
“…”
“... Hey, Barb… You said you were going to talk to Prince Solaris, right?”
“Yup,” I shout back over my shoulder, having put some distance between us at long last. “Seeya later, Rainbow Dash.”
“…”
“…”
… Flap flap flap flap flap
Thud!
With a small eep of surprise, I fall backwards on my tail as Rainbow Dash lands forcefully in the middle of my path. With a wingtip offered forward to help me back to my feet with, he then asks my downed self a single, unexpected question:
“Can I tag along?”
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10680051
how about Starlight Glimmer or whatever name he now has
10703530
Still 100% Canon Equestria
... Though notice how that particular chapter's title was drafted up in "English". Translated, it reads The Cutie Re-mark Part 1... meaning... there's still a Part 2...
...
... Stay tuned to find out more!
Hmmm, Barb's too nice to say no, so are we getting a lesson in double speak?
It begins.
How exactly can a dragon 'realign' their scales? Also, forgive my poor mythical knowledge, what is a 'bedfin' by the way?
I forgot that Rainbro Dash actually CARES about Barb- not like RD who’s prone to dumb af decisions and cares too much about her ego. Dusk is essentially committing child neglect but he’s too occupied with his studies. I wouldn’t be surprised he can’t even prep a meal more advanced than a sandwich or even brew a decent cup of tea on his own. When I mean a “decent cup of tea”- I mean the old-fashioned way, no tea bags or extra special tools or magic.
10703823
Bedfin is bedhair of the headfin variety. As for the realigning of scales, I'm imagining a full body version of preening.
10704014
Well, foals here tend to be pretty open ranged. Rarity (and likely Elusive's) horn dragged her half across Equestria for DAYS and left her in a desert, and not counting how long it took her to make her way back. The way Rarity explained it, there wasn't a search party or tearful reunion; she may as well have popped off to the local store down the road.
Even the CMC have boarded trains without adult supervision.
This chapter was super cute and a joy to read. I always love seeing the interpersonal relationships between Barb and co.
Wednesday and Friday seem so far away now though.
10704014
Please never stop referring to this Rainbow Dash as Rainbro Dash; it works too well considering the setting, and it never fails to give me a laugh when I read it
Also, yeah... that's sort of the downside of having a personal assistant, isn't it? The over dependence of them. Barb worrying that Dusk might accidentally read too much and forget to eat while she's gone wasn't just a throwaway joke; it was an legitimate concern. Dude is going to need a serious kick in the plot one of these days if he's ever going to grow into the dependable Twilight we know he can be...
... Thankfully I'm more than willing to provide said kick
10704283
Honestly, yeah; in the first few seasons of the show the foals were a lot more independent. Filly Rarity traveled outside her town just fine, so did Applejack, Cheese Sandwich did too, and I think it was mentioned that Pinkie Pie did as well when she started her partying. Spike also clearly traveled to Canterlot by himself multiple times for "royal business."
Later seasons, however, did start to depict the foals as having about the same level of independence as normal human children; i.e., not a lot. The CMC suddenly couldn't be trusted to ride a train by themselves anymore, despite having gone to Canterlot and the Crystal Empire just fine. They also started needing chaperones when visiting new places (Appleloosa, Mount Aris, etc.).
Equestria being this super safe (mostly) kingdom where children can roam it freely IS admittedly a really cool concept, not going to lie. Such a place could easily explain Cozy Glow's existence too...
... buuuutttt for the sake of not making Barb too OP I've decided to depict the later seasons' mindset instead of the earlier ones. Her squire status does thankfully override some of these limitations, but they're still clearly there for others, like Rainbow Dash, to point out and dissect. It also makes his hyper awareness to the world around him a double-edged sword for both himself and Barbara ;)
10704937
It’s my nickname for the male RD. I’m sure I’m not the first person who’s thought of it...
HYpE
10704307
I hope the wait was worth it