Entry 1, Part 5 (Kindness) {RE-EDITED}
Fur as yellow as the morning sun,
mane as pink as a peppy teen’s cheeks,
cutie mark in the form of three simple butterflies,
and two, large, recently preened pegasus wings resting neatly across his barrel...
… Yup, this is a Male Fluttershy alright. No question there. Yup, not a single one...
...
… Well... except for maybe one actually…
… Ahem.
Why is he so bucking terrifying to behold?!
The longer I look the more I shake... and Dusk is doing the same! This giant stallion version of the soon-to-be Element of Kindness, better known as Butterscotch in this world according to the list, is so big and imposing that he’s causing a dragon like me and a freaking archmage like Dusk to tremble. Guy-shy now holds the trophy for being the largest pony I’ve ever met... ever! Period!
Okay, that part might seem like a stretch to you. I mean, I’ve seen a lot of tall ponies in my time; obviously. I’m barely as tall as a foal! Everypony is a giant in my eyes. Even so, in comparison to the outliers… In comparison to, say, the tall and slender Elusive?
Nope.
To the large and powerful Applejack?
Nope.
To the even larger and stronger Red Gala?
Nnope.
And... compared to Prince Solaris himself? I think they’re easily at the same eye level!! He’s as tall as a freaking alicorn prince!
And… a-and there’s one more thing... He’s also, like I said…
… s-scary…
He’s so incredibly imposing... Worse yet, I can’t pinpoint what it is about him that’s causing me to shiver in fright like the child I am! Is it because of his long pink beard, the one that scrapes across the ground as he shuffles about? Is it his burly pink crest of chest hair, the one that gives him an aura of power and authority? Maybe it’s his shaggy, overgrown, and equally pink mane; the one that’s acting as a concealing curtain for his eyes…
… Maybe it’s just the fact that I can’t see his eyes at all! I can’t tell his expressions or emotions without those peepers. The flat line etched across his lips can’t reveal for me his true inner feelings. As he mumbles lowly to the choir of birds before him, perched upon a dead tree branch, I can’t tell if he’s still the same sweet and shy little mare from the cartoon, or instead a lumbering monster of a stallion simply trying to do his job!
Frankly, I don’t want to find out...
… Good thing I have this convenient scapegoat right here then.
“Well, Dusk?” I ask my quiet charge beside me, drawing his attention away from the pony in the distance. “A-aren’t you going to ask him about the music?”
Dusk blinks blankly at me.
“... Ladies first?” he replies weakly with half of a laugh and a forced smile.
I quickly decide that I’m having NONE of that nonsense right now.
“Dusk,” I repeat, my words growing frantic. “N-no. Just… no. Be a gentlecolt already an-”
“But Barb!” he snaps back, cutting me off. “I-I can’t! Just look at that thing-”
“I AM!” I interrupt this time as my voice grows louder, though never breaking out of a whisper. “I am looking, Dusk… and you know what I see? I see a pony capable of flattening me like a pancake on accident!!”
“And he can’t me?!” Dusk retorts, eyes bugging out and voice just as loud and panicked now as my own.
I point a shaky claw at him. “Y-you’re blowing things out of proportion here!”
He points an equally trembling hoof right back at me. “I’m pretty sure I’m not, Barb!”
“Solaris wants you to talk to him!”
“No, he wants someone to talk to him!”
“Then go out there and do it already!”
“No, you!”
“I’m flipping seven years old!”
“Seven and a half!”
“Oh like that actually matters! The point is that I’m a kid, Dusk!”
“Well I’m a flipping bookworm, so there! We’re in the same sinking boat here, girly!”
“What?! But, I, you… Grrrr!”
“Grrrr!”
… Easing off of our growling, we both grow quiet as we proceed to glare at one another mutely.
“...”
“...”
I then raise a claw and stretch it out. The joints pop loudly as I do.
Pop pop
Dusk horn glows with a bright light in response. It hums with power.
Twinkletwinkletwinkle
Our glaring intensifies as the silence between us becomes palpable.
“...”
“...”
… Whoosh!
We then proceed to rush toward one another and drench ourselves in glorious battle!
“Rock paper scissors shoot!”
“Rock paper scissors shoot!”
Glorious bloodless battle!
Laying my claw out flatly proves to be a brilliant tactical decision on my part as the imaginary paper brutally covers the magically constructed rock resting in Dusk’s cupped hooves, thus granting me the win.
“... Cheater,” Dusk grumbles.
“Sore loser,” I snort victoriously.
Extinguishing his horn in a huff, causing the illusion to disapparate as well, my frustrated charge groans as he exits our hiding bush and reluctantly approaches Butterscotch. Music accompanies Dusk’s solo trek as the birds performing in front of the colossal stallion reach an impressive, and synchronized, crescendo; almost as if they were heralding the coming meeting.
The unknown stallion makes no move as Dusk approaches; whether he's aware of his presence is anyone's guess. His entire attention is aimed at the avian orchestra he's… conducting? Conducting feels like the right word, but there's no baton to indicate such a thing.
Yet, conduct he did.
There's an ebb and flow to the music in the air. This isn't mindless bird chirps; it's honest-to-goodness music. I had heard that such a thing was possible here in Equestria but, beyond the tv show, I had never seen such a thing myself. It's quite the sight to behold both visibly and audibly-
“Squack!”
… Well, for the most part.
This is still just a rehearsal, after all. Mistakes and screw-ups are bound to happen. That’s what the maestro is here for in the first place; to buffer out these little blemishes. Said buffering can come in many forms and techniques. Maestros will often raise their voices to bring attention to the hiccups, to encourage change. Others provide helpful feedback either after or at the time of the incident. It can almost be likened to being a parent… though with obviously more pay and the power to (legally) fire someone who doesn’t listen.
Fluttershy fixed this squawker's major malfunction, from what I can still recall, by asking him politely to sing on key; which I suppose is another valid option... but it doesn't look like Guy-shy does the same.
Frankly, I don't know what he does.
I mean, I can see what he's doing to lead his choir clear as day, even from all the way back here... But he's just kinda… staring at them to get them to do what he wants. Without so much as a word, the off-key singing feather ball rubs the back of his head in embarrassment before resuming properly...
… Oh yeah, I forgot the mention that the animals here are kinda smart and do human-like things like this every now and then...
… Honestly it’s the least interesting thing in my life right now, which is saying a lot.
“Um… hello?”
“Gasp! Chirpchirpchirpchirp!!”
The most interesting part is currently happening right now, as Dusk attempts to make first contact with the stallion… and only proceeds to scare off all of his bird choir. The field is now quiet.
Quiet, save for the titan pony who stands as still as a statue in response to Dusk’s actions.
Dusk is similarly still, though with about 90% more sweating than the former. I can hear him gulping loudly from here.
“...”
“... Hmph.”
After what felt like an eternity, the stalemate was broken by the larger stallion giving a simple low breath.
Whoosh!
With a mighty push downwards from his left wing, Butterscotch launches himself into the air… but only briefly; just long enough for him to rotate himself 180 degrees to face the one who had interrupted his choir practice. The landing from his aerial feat shakes the ground enough to knock me onto my back. As I lay, I can feel sweat start to fall from my face as well.
“H-holy crap,” I mutter low as I get back to my feet. Amusingly, I can read the same words coming off of Dusk’s lips as well as he shakily recovers from his own tumble.
Clearing his throat, my charge attempts to try to sound not terrified as he continues. “I’m so sorry. I d-didn’t mean to frighten your birds!”
He fails spectacularly, as Butterscotch doesn't respond one way or the other to the apology. All he does is stand still and stare at the unicorn in front of him through his blinding bangs. Angry, sad, scared… neither Dusk nor I have the slightest clue what’s going on in this guy’s head right now. The silence is really unnerving.
“... I-I’m… I’m just here to check up on the music,” the officially appointed event planner tries to explain, hoping to ease whatever wrath was about to be inflicted on him for his transgressions. “It sounded b-beautiful!”
The behemoth remains silent.
"..."
"..."
... This silence continues for a few painful seconds longer before my friend surprises me by making an honest attempt to be… friendly!
“I’m Dusk Shine… what’s your name?”
Oh wow! That was unexpected… ~Sniff, My baby is growing up!
"..."
"..."
...Obvious to the miracle he was bearing witness to, Butterscotch continues with his vow of silence.
"..."
"... Hmm."
?!
Suddenly, the bright yellow pegasus catches us completely off guard by muttering something under his breath. “... I’m... Butterscotch…”
From the bushes I don’t catch whatever it was he just said and, from the look on his face, my charge didn’t catch it either. “I’m sorry. What was that?” he asks for clarity.
“...”
I lower my breathing and listen closely…
... but it seems that the butterfly-adorned stallion has returned to being mute. No cute whimper like the show, or anything similar… It appears this pony is the strong silent type. Between him and Fluttershy, it’s really hard to see the connection... though, after the encounter with Rainbow Dash and Elusive, I’m not that surprised.
Once the coast became clear, the wayward birds slowly return to their places and await further instruction. Seeing his out, Dusk quickly takes advantage of the distraction to beat a hasty retreat.
“Well, um, it looks like your birds are back,” he points out, slowly turning around. “I guess everything’s in order. K-keep up the good work!”
Butterscotch says nothing as he watches the only other pony in the field start to depart. I too watch Dusk for a second longer before I walk out of my hiding spot and regroup with my friend.
“Well… that was easy,” Dusk Shine retorts sarcastically to me, thinking our work here is done.
... Rumblerumblerumblerumble
... I really want to slap him for his poor choice of words.
Having accidentally summoned the dark powers of Murphy's law into the realm with his careless utterance of words, Dusk and I soon find ourselves unable to react as what feels like a flipping earthquake starts to rock us off our feet/hooves; thoroughly rooting us in place.
Rumblerumblerumble
The sight of a half-ton stallion charging at us at full gallop swiftly dominates our vision and shrinks our pupils down to pinpricks.
Twinkletwinkletwinkle
With unicorn horn quickly igniting, his mind clearly being thrown into fear-induced overdrive, Dusk attempts to form the magical shield spell his older sister taught him...
Crinkle crack!
... but it appears that he doesn’t have the time or presence of mind to form it fully as Butterscotch easily stampedes through the pink shield like its rice paper.
Gulp
As he continues his unstoppable march, it quickly became apparent that our resident nerd isn't the pegasus' target.
Instead, that honor belongs to… well... the only other person here!
“Barb!” cries Dusk from the ground, trying to quickly get back to his hooves.
My heart races as the trembling of the earth knocks me down yet again, and I’m forced to watch in horror as the being more train than pony barrels towards me at frightening speeds. My mind blanks in this moment, with every scrap of higher brain function and useful show knowledge escaping me as Butterscotch draws closer and closer. Every step seems to take years off of my life as my fear grows and grows and grow-
Until it’s too late to do anything about it.
“Dusk!” I scream, raising my claws to my face in one last pathetic attempt to save myself. Closing my eyes, I wait for the end.
…
…
…
… I slowly open my eyes again once it becomes clear that the Grim Reaper had not come for me yet again.
A waterfall of pink hair greets me as I do.
Butterscotch, despite being the lumbering equine that he is, appears to have halted his mighty forward momentum in an instant. This impossibility had allowed him to get close enough to me to dip his eyes to face-level with my own. From his new vantage point, the stallion resumes to do much of the same thing he did when we first found him; stand and stare quietly.
In the silence, as I try to slow down my pounding heart, my guest waits patiently for me to calm down. After a solid minute of me trying to return to normal, he then raises one of his massive forelegs up and forward.
I flinch as he does.
This causes the pegasus to pause for a brief moment before he moves his leg again, and brings it to his own face…
… so that he can part his mane and observe me closely with one of his eyes.
One of his big, innocent-looking, eyes.
“... A baby dragon!” he finally speaks, putting his whole heart into his words as his mouth opens wide in childlike amazement...
...
...
... That was the cutest little baritone voice I’ve ever heard in my entire life.
It’s like an untrained singing voice; it has no sense of authority in it, and has no business being attached to somepony with that massive body… yet it kinda works in a 'This-man-is-going-to-crush-you-dead, yet-you’re-not-going-to-be-too-angry-about-it-because-he-clearly-just-wants-to-do-his-best' kind of way.
It's weird, but like I said it kinda works.
What doesn’t work is him excitedly stammering with his wings.
The wind alone knocks me right on my back, and in seeing this the smaller-in-heart-but-not-in-body pony blushes as he tries to calm himself down. “I’ve never seen a baby dragon before!” he speaks in the same cheery tone. “She's so cute!”
Assuming he’s talking to Dusk, I look over and find him still on the ground and wearing the same sort of confused look that’s probably adorning my face as well right now.
I nervously laugh a little over the absurdity of it all. “W-well,” I state as casually as I can. “He’s not wrong!”
The tiniest, most too-good-for-this-world gasp leaves the gentle giant’s mouth upon hearing this.
“It talks? I didn’t know dragons could talk! That’s just so incredibly wonderful… I-I don’t even know what to say!”
You and me both, buddy.
Twinkletwinkle
My scales begin to itch slightly with magic as a familiar feeling of weightlessness overtakes me. One quick uncontrolled float through the air later and I soon find myself deposited upon Dusk’s back.
“Well,” Dusk starts to say, clearly ready to get the heck out of dodge. “In any case, we better be going.”
With a clip and a clop of his hooves, Dusk starts to head on down the path with me in tow... though Butterscotch was clearly not done with us, and begins to follow shortly behind. With his massive legs, it takes little effort for him to keep up with our retreat.
“Wait, wait,” he begs as he follows, uncaring of the small tremors he leaves behind with each step. “What’s her name?”
Well… as admittedly weird as this is and as admittedly weird as this pony is… it’s pretty easy to see now that, despite my earlier claim, this really is this world’s Fluttershy.
The similarities are much welcomed to see right now, especially after the last two encounters.
“I’m Barbara,” I reply to the stallion with a smile, taking the burden off of the annoyed Dusk’s nonexistent shoulders. “Friends can call me Barb.”
“Hi, Barb,” he replies sweetly, now talking to me directly. “I’m Butterscotch... Wow, a talking dragon.”
I giggle over the earnestness present the now properly introduced Butterscotch’s voice. There’s no fake pleasantries or fake enthusiasm here; this big sweet colt is just as excited to be talking to me as little Apple Buck was. How cute.
“And… what do dragons talk about?” he asks me sincerely, his eyes obscured but his voice true.
“Well, what do you want to know?” I offer.
“Absolutely everything.”
I can feel Dusk’s back muscles tense up thanks to this request. He's fearful of what is about to happen next. He spares me a glance in his fright, his expression telling me that he's hoping for a dismissive response on my part.
I spare this a thought in return…
… before smiling at him wickedly.
Dusk Shine groans as he continues to trot, resigning himself to his coming fate. Hehe, sorry Dusk. I love you… but after the hell that was this day, I think I deserve a little R&R, don’t you?
“Well,” I begin. “I started out as a cute little purple and green egg…”
I do love sharing my Tale, afterall~
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NEW CHAPTER! Yay, it's been so long!
Until I actually got into reading the new chapter, I had forgotten most of what was going on in the story besides "female Spike that used to be human and knows the show."
Now, I remember that a good part of what I like about this story is both the similarities and differences between these versions of the characters and the canon ones.
Edit: To be a bit more specific, comedy and character development are things that drew me into this story.
That said, the thing that really pulled me back into this story was the email notification that there was a new chapter.
Holy crap, this updated. All of my yis!
Welcome back.
Welcome Back :D
Oh wow!
After so many years, finally!
Welcome back, hope you'll stay)
In response to the AN:
The unique perspective of the series so far (human turned genderbent Spike from birth), the interactions from said perspective (how Spike got so talented at a young age), the on-point characterizations despite being genderbent, and the mystery of whether or not Barb is the only human reborn in Equestria (Elusive's knowledge of English) are the biggest reasons why I loved this and the prequel so much.
tl;dr Spike's perspective of canon, the characterization, the unique premise (r63 + HiE), and the mystery.
And welcome back.
Welcome Back! good to see this one continue!
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Speaking of Elusive's knowledge of English, I just found I still have the decoding of the "English" from chapter 3. Between the two lines of it there were, I was able to get 19 out of 26 characters.
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did you mean that line?
Oui'na meypma du kad ouin raynd pnugah dryd fyo
|
v
YOU'RE LIABLE TO GET YOUR HEART BROKEN THAT WAY
I personally like the approach to things.. she knows most of whats going ot happen, but things go weird when the sexes change.
About time someone decided to get back to work, now i just need a few more authors to do the same
9037766
Yep, I believe I had worked it out before it was mentioned in the comments.
I'd say it's the everything this story has. The in depth look at the differences, the unexpected surprises (RD being as femme as a stallion can't possibly be for one), the way the characters shine through it all. We want more, and I just can certainly say you made a lot of people happy by being back
ITS ALIVE!
Has it really been three years? Wow, I really need to go through my stories and sort out the dead and may-be-dead chaff.
To answer your question in the author's note, this story seems pretty unique in both the premise of Barb and the versions of the mane 6. I'm also glad the angst over her former life seems mostly resolved by the last chapter.
Oh wow.. I I remember loving by this story but I can’t remember a thing. Time to reread both of these.
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Thank you all for being here for the arrival! Your support and feedback with help me keep moving forward. I hope you'll all continue to enjoy
God's I love this story so much!!
I don't have to much to say so I will use a few emoticons to express my feelings.
Well hey! It's this thing!
Welcome back. Good to see you. I hope you're in a better... place in your head, nowadays.
It's funny, I went back and reread my comments, and then reread this story. Skimmed, really. To refresh my memory.
The tension, the frustration at Elusive's vagueness. The additional frustration that this might be Jason, and if so, the crushing weight that he might have had a whole life after her, and has a whole life now. Where he might have totally moved on, but Barbara has not. I still was compelled.
I dunno if I'm as into the Spike As Assistant drama as I was back then. I still am a big obsessive with the character, but that seems... to be a little different now.
As far as what I want to see? That I don't know... I'm definitely into the drama.
But perhaps now I'd like to see something less intense all the time? Something where Barb is able to actually lighten up. Because if she can do that, maybe she can actually get over this convincingly. Move on from this for real, rather than just deciding to in a bout of drama in a way I'm not sure I'm 100% convinced is perfect.
wow after 3 years, its back, nice to see you again and welcome back,
What kept me on the story was well, the story, i just like this kind of every day stuff, shineniggans, they are fun to read, and if written well, they make an amazing story
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The head space is still questionable, but for the most part I'm back. Thank you for being here
I think giving Barbara room the breathe now, after the nonsense that's happened so far over the course of this single day, is really the best choice. With a small amount of the drama having been released last chapter, I'm hoping to allow her to really get to know the rest of the cast and start her healing process in earnest
before she melts down into a pile emotional slag, I for sure want to make sure that we keep this as realistic and possible... as realistic as recovering from simply possessing what I can only describe as eldritch knowledge can be, that is.Now for the bigger question... there's an actual DRAMA tag now! Think I should re-brand this thing? There's so much different about this site now that I don't know where to start... I LOVE the talk back to me feature though, especially for editing. So much smoother when I'm not reading that damn thing out loud for the 100th time~
Comedy, angst, flowery language in that order
Awesome to see some pony words from you. I dare to hope this means a cog in the machine has a chance of rising from it's semi permanent hiatus.
to answer you question, though. I wasn't drawn to any one trait, but your overall ability to balance them. There was never too much comedy or too much angst and the slow moments never wen't on too long.
hey great to see you back. This character was fun to read. I cant remember why I started this history. But so far I like how you manage the narrative, it is well written and is catchy to read.
Also the plot has enough freshness with Barbs and the genderbender so it is interesting. I am mostly eager to see how and where are you going to drive this story
Finishing college and becoming a responsible adult is tough, huh?
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I've been along for most of the changes and it didnt... feel that big every time. Just some tag changes, and some formatting changes, and some more added and changed tags and... yeah.
Anyway, the drama depends on where you're taking it from here. Your previous story was definitely drama, but so far it's been Barb freaking out stuff in her head, but she hasn't... expressed it to anyone. Will she? Will there be conflicts related to it, or will it be Barb thinking about and coming to terms in a more normal slice of life situation?
I enjoy your characterization of Barbara. I think it is the most believable self insert I have ever read.
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You make a good point. The drama is very internal right now. Whether this will stay the same going forward... well I'm going to keep my cards close to chest for now.
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I hope to one day return to that fic as well, considering the equal amount of love it receives. I'm never going to say that it's completely canceled at any point, as I'm never 100% sure where my muse will take me any given day. Unlike with my other work which was canceled, "If you ain't...", the idea behind Cog doesn't require a specific mindset on my part to continue. A MASSIVE rewrite would still be needed, but it seems this site has offered me some interesting new tools to aid me in that goal.
Some day... some day
Honestly, I would be hard pressed to explain exactly what it is I like about these stories; I just know that I like them.
But this particular chapter? See, I came here to read fan fiction. And this chapter? Is even better than that! This isn’t fan fiction, it’s...
MAN fiction!
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img00.deviantart.net/84ac/i/2012/204/3/2/solaris__s_beard_comic_by_ak47smith-d589ryv.png
I love a good HiE story. I love a good Foalfic with a deaged main character. And I love a good story over all. This one has all these. True, I don;t normally love retellings of the canon, you've done well in subverting and tweaking things that it's not boring, and the interactions between the characters shines through.
Wait... are my eyes deceiving me? no... a new chapter YASSSSS
Called it~
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W-well, I called you... so there!
I am such a master of my craft.