• Published 27th Mar 2015
  • 8,498 Views, 1,352 Comments

The Poisoned Barb's Tale - ManlyDerp



[Sequel Story] A mother, reborn into the mirrored world of her daughter's bygone years, desperately tries to find purpose in her second childhood. This is Barbara's diary.

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Entry 8, Part 1 (Dragonapped)

Author's Note:

QUICK WARNING FOR NIGHTMODE READERS: You may wish to disable said mode while reading the Dragonapped chapters. Don't worry; this will be the only episode where turning it off will be necessary.

Sorry for the inconvenience, and please enjoy!

~Dear Diary~

My anxiety is through the flipping roof.

It's been three days since I sent Solaris my letter concerning Trixster's assistant, and in those three days I've seen no sign of the pair returning. They haven't made any headlines either, so I haven't the foggiest idea where they they could have wandered off to. Was Ponyville just a pitstop in their journey? Was Dusk not their main target?

The threat Stardust Glimmer poses to the timeline has kept me perpetually jumpy ever since he first appeared. He's an unknown wild card capable of altering events and even friendship lessons; he can't be allowed to do as he pleases. I lack the means to track him though, or a means to determine whether he's a Seer or something more.

My only hope is to work with Solaris on another villain countermeasure plan, like the one we made up for Eris... Unfortunately, I don't think the Prince understands the gravity of the situation yet. If he did he wouldn't have answered me in the way he did; I had expected his reply to my emergency message to be swift and full of purpose.

I hadn't expected it to be leisurely and full of nothingness.

No "understood", no "that is most troubling"; the Prince's only response to my plea for help was to send a short reminder that our monthly talk was coming up in a few days, and to then tack on an even smaller P.S. detailing how I'll be reimbursed for the travel expenses within five business days.

It was curt.

It was soulless.

It completely ignored my worries and it reminded me way too much of how he used to treat me back when I was a toddler

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The sound of tearing paper rings out in the empty bedroom.

"No no," I grumble, crumpling the torn sheet and tossing it into the trash bin beside me. "Don't embellish, don't get emotional. Just... state the facts."

Quill meets paper once again.

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~Dear Diary~

It's been three days since I last wrote in you, and in those three days Solaris has been incredibly lax in helping me.

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I rip this page out as well.

"That doesn't paint the whole picture."

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~Dear Diary~

I don't trust-

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Another one bites the dust.

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~Dear Diary~

I should have never sent that lett-

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Rip and tear.

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~Dear Diary~

Prince Solaris is the biggest meanie pants in the whole wide wor-

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With a roar of pure unfiltered rage, I shred this final page into confetti and scatter it to the winds.

"Stupid infant brain!" I snarl, beyond pissed with myself. "Just let me think straight for once in this bucking life!"

"Barbara!"

"Eep!"

Startled by the sudden voice, I whip nervous eyes towards the loft's entrance and, consequently, a highly disappointed looking Dusk Shine.

Oops.

"S-sorry," I apologize, becoming self-conscious of my immature behavior...

... and very self-conscious of my discarded pile of English written pages.

Double oops.

In an effort to prevent my charge from taking in this detail, I leap from my chair and dash into his line of sight. "Didn't think you'd be back so soon," I greet him innocently, aiming to divert his attention.

"That's no excuse for using that word like that," Dusk scolds with shaking head, taking the bait. "You have to be more careful. You don't want to mistakenly teach Sweepy Belle or Scooteroll that kind of language and get them in trouble, do you?"

...

... With ears drooping, I whimper out a weak and pathetic, "No," as a powerful feeling of shame begins to seep into me.

Why did he have to drag my friends into this?! My misdirection may have been a smashing success, b-but what if Dusk thinks I'm a bad influence and doesn't let me see them anymore?!

I can't lose those two colts.

I-I can't.

"I'm sorry," I repeat myself, shying away from Dusk's gaze. "I-I just got a little mad while writing in my diary, that's all."

"... Oh," he notes plainly, his voice taking on a more understanding tone. His expression is slowly losing all trace of his earlier disapproval as well, I notice. "I see... Writer's block?"

"Yeah..." I whisper, all while rubbing my arm in an effort to calm myself. Writing is usually my go to hobby for de-stressing, but my thoughts have been so all over the flipping place lately that it's become next to impossible to get the ball rolling. Every sentence I've jotted down, every word... it just feels wrong somehow.

Everything feels wrong right now, if I'm being honest; not just this situation but the entire world. Why did things have to start getting so out of hand so fast? Why...

"I'm so sorry to hear that, Barb."

At least Dusk is sympathetic of my plight, even if he doesn't know the full story.

"Those are never fun," he goes on, concern clear. "... Hey! Why don't I grab Writer's Essentials 101 for us to read? It might just do the trick if we tackle it together!"

"..."

... A small smile grows on my lips.

"Heh... No thanks," I allow myself to snicker, and allow myself to lower my guard. "Finding answers from a book is more your thing, not mine." Dusk has always had such a wonderful gift for being just the right pony I need at just the right time.

Guess I shouldn't have expected anything less from the colt who convinced this Lost Soul that life was still worth living.

"Aww, are you sure?" Dusk insists, taking a step closer inside and, more discerningly, a step closer towards the desk. "I think it might really help you out!"

Not wanting him to see one solitary letter of the English language, I side step in order to remain his primary focus. "Yeah, I am," I let him down gently. "It's just a diary, Dusk. I'm not writing the next Dashing Dare or anything here."

"That doesn't mean it's not important," the young stallion lectures passionately. "If writing makes you happy, and you can't do that because of a writer's block, then you owe it to yourself to work through it. Writing is the soul given form."

I blink blankly in reply.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"... What?" Dusk finally works up the nerve to ask why I'm staring.

... Look... I love this pony...

... but this love ain't gonna stop me from telling him how,

"That was the second cheesiest thing you have ever said."

'Writing is the soul given form'?

Ha!

I may like to wax poetics every now and then within The Poisoned Barb, but even I'm not that sappy...

... Don't you dare try to say otherwise.

"H-hey!" Dusk stutters out in embarrassment, causing my grin to grow. "I was just quoting Writer's Essentials 101... And what do you mean second?!"

A snort escapes me, as well as my tension.

I needed this.

I really needed this break.

"Oh?" I continue to tease, acting coy. "Mister Dusk 'I'm a scholar and a fighter' Shine wants to know what his cheesiest line was?"

The blush now upon 'Mr.' Shine's cheeks indicates that I need not say more.

"T-that was just a spur of the moment thing," he tries to defend his past self, though we both know he doesn't have a leg to stand on. "Really!"

"Heh, yeah," I keep going, not letting up. "If you say so."

What kind of assistant would I be if I didn't push my charge's buttons every now and then?

A boring one, that's what.

With a disgruntled huff, Dusk thankfully starts backing off from my desk. "Well I thought it sounded cool," he groans under his breath, unaware that I can still hear him.

Letting up on my hazing, content with having chased him away from my diary, I soak deeply in the calm for a moment... before a new question arises to the forefront of my mind.

"Wait, are you heading to bed already?" I ask, after realizing where he's heading. "But it's not even noon yet!"

"..."

With equal confusion now etched across his own face, the unicorn turns towards the bedroom's sole windowsill and glances outside.

"It... isn't?" he asks back, taking in the darkened skies above. "Huh. Guess that's why I'm not tired. The clouds must have thrown my internal clock off."

"..."

... Crossing my arms, standing up a little straighter, it becomes apparent that it's now my turn to do some scolding.

"Did you lose track of time while reading again, young man?"

Thanks to the tactical usage of motherly terminology, Dusk's cheeks return to their reddened hue.

"S-sorry," he stammers, apologizing to me in a not too dissimilar manner to my own from earlier.

Huh, déjà vu...

... Some days I have to wonder whether Dusk is slowly becoming more like me or if I'm becoming more like him...

... No comments.

"You better still have that hourglass Gleaming got you," I resume, refusing to get distracted and not allowing this lapse in judgment to slide so easily. "She gave you it because she knew how into books you get! Please set it next time you want to read for a bit."

"Bu-"

"Please," I plead, setting aside my inner turmoil to be the assistant I need to be. "I don't want to be worrying about you accidentally starving yourself to death when I'm in Canterlot this weekend!"

Don't pretend like he wouldn't, folks; the siren song of 'just one more page' has been Dusk's kryptonite for as long as I've known him. Before I reentered his life, and started acting as his aid, the dumb teen used to pass out in the library all the gosh darn time! I swear if it wasn't for the head librarian, Smudged Leaflets, watching out for him he would have legitimately been dead long before we reunited.

"Snrk."

Dusk's snort returns me from my thoughts, and disregards my plea, all at the same time.

"What?" he chuckles at my concern, undoing his prior efforts to cheer me up. Turning away, apparently more interested in browsing a nearby bookshelf, he goes on. "I'm not going to starve myself to death! I'll have you know that I'm a very responsible pony!"

His gaze then wanders back my way.

"You don't have to worry about a thing, Barb-"

Channeling the memory of my daughter, I cut off the rant with puppy dog eyes.

Ashley... please give your late mama the strength to do what you did best.

Please give me the strength to guilt trip like there's no tomorrow.

"..."

"..."

"... I'll... I-I'll use the hourglass," Dusk at last relents, granting me my peace of mind. "I promise."

"Thank you," I respond gratefully, offering these words for both him and... her. "I feel much better now."

A small hum is Dusk's final contribution to this second conversation; meaning it, just like with the first, was now officially over. In the quiet aftermath, I find myself returning to my desk with the singular goal of packing up my diary. The task was quick and easy, only taking up half of a minute...

... but I wish it had taken longer.

With both tasks and discussions completed, and with nothing else to distract me; my mind only had the dark place left for it to wander.

The same dark place it had been trapped in prior to Dusk's arrival.

Momentary levity followed by soul crushing despair... Story of my life in a nutshell, I suppose.

"Hmmm... Oh, yeah!" my charge suddenly cries out from upstairs, causing me to flinch...

... Please don't ask that question again... please don't ask that question again... plea-

"That reminds me..."

Please please please pleas-

"You never told me what Prince Solaris wants to see you about, Barb."

...

...

... With back still turned, my response to Dusk's casual inquiry comes out quickly and devoid of emotion.

"Royal business."

Please accept it this time... please accept it this time... plea-

"Oh. Okay," he continues to hum, curiosity still clear in his voice. "And... what does 'royal business' mean exactly?"

"It means... royal business," I repeat with a shrug...

... wishing I was brave enough to tell him more.

Dusk's guess is as good as mine; 'royal business' is just the excuse the Prince told me to use in the off chance anypony ever asked me about our meetings.

I'm grateful that I was allowed to make Dusk aware of these conferences of ours, don't get me wrong. Even if I was forbidden from also disclosing how they'll be centered around his future, my charge's prior knowledge of the arrangement meant that I didn't have to make up an excuse for wanting to go to Canterlot out of the blue. As selfish as this is to admit, being able to give him the (semi) truth for once feels pleasantly refreshing. I've fed that poor pony too many lies as is.

I still fail to see why he thinks said arrangement is the bees knees though.

"I'm jealous that you're going to get to speak to the Prince privately," Dusk laments, sighing dreamily over my 'windfall'. I can practically hear the stars in his eyes sparkling from all the way down here. "Do you know how much of an honor that is?"

"Not really," I shrug again in reply, unsure how to respond.

The student's faith in his teacher has discouraged him from asking too many questions, thank goodness, but I suppose it's impossible to ever truly silence an inquisitive mind such as his.

That's what I love and hate the most about him.

"When we lived in Canterlot I had to talk to him weekly about your research projects," I turn to remind Dusk, downplaying the importance of this coming meeting. "Don't you remember?"

"Yes but that was Canterlot," he points out, gasping at my lack of excitement. "It's easier for Prince Solaris to do that in the capital! Being summoned from so far away is a waaayyy bigger deal... Are you sure you don't know what 'royal business' means?"

"Maybe it's something boring like living expenses," I suggest, deflecting once again; getting tired of his probing. "Or maybe he wants me for some... dragon thing or something."

"Dragon thing?"

Grasping at straws, I shrug even harder. "I don't know, Dusk! It's the best guess I have! I mean, I know about as much about dragons as you do so it's not all that far-fetched, right?"

"..."

"... Dusk?"

"Hm?" Dusk responds, mind returning from whatever it was he was just thinking about. "Oh... Y-yeah. Right. You're... probably right... Promise me you'll tell me all about it when you get back though, okay?"

"..."

... Balling my claw up into a fist behind my back, I lie straight to my best friend's face.

"Promise."

So much for the nice change of pace.

Happy with my answer, unaware of the sickening misuse of his trust, Dusk Shine drops the subject all together. He grants me one last warm smile before trotting his way over to his bed and out of my line of sight. Pages turn in the ensuing silence, not surprising me in the slightest.

Look at him; not a care in the world.

How I envy...

...

... Wanting a distraction from my once again toxic thoughts, I don my purse and pick up the full trash can beside the writing desk. Exiting the bedroom, I stomp down the stairs and towards the front door.

"Stupid Solaris," I growl once I'm out of Dusk's earshot. "Stupid Stardust."

Now outside the library, I make my way to our backyard and over to where we keep our garbage...

...

... Fwoosh!

"... Stupid secrets," I finish with a tired, sulfur scented sigh.

As a crackling noise fills the air, I watch as my emerald dragonfire transforms the bundle of rejected diary entries into an indistinguishable pile of smoldering embers. Can never be too careful; what if Dusk decided to take out the trash and stumbled on one of my English written pages?

He must never learn the truth about me, and neither can Solaris.

Regrettably though, I think my letter may have been the first of many tilted dominoes leading towards that revelation.

There's no evidence that hints at such, I'll admit, but that hasn't stopped this wait from feeling uncomfortably like the calm before the storm. All the elements are there; at a glance everything seems okay. I'm going to get to talk to the Prince about Stardust Glimmer, and discuss his possible status as a Seer, so mission accomplished... right?

If that's true, then why don't I feel any better?

Why is there instead a weight in my chest, and a gnawing at my mind?

Anxiety, fear, tiredness, worry; a cocktail of negative emotions is welling up inside me and threatening to come to the surface. To describe it as unpleasant would be to undersell it, and to liken it to a panic attack would be to overhype it... Certainly a sickening state of being, is it not? It's no wonder I've been unable to find any relief in my usual craft of choice today.

Want to know the worst part?

The worst part is that I should have been expecting as much when I sent that letter in the first place.

I should have expected this overwhelming sense of distress, just as I should have been expecting Solaris' silence. I'm certain he's taking my warning seriously despite his lack of correspondence... but I'm also certain that he's using this time to scheme as well. It's the only logical reason I can think of for why he hasn't taken the time to write me a more meaningful message yet. He must be busy getting things ready for another one of our 'pleasant' little tea parties.

You know...?

The ones where he unabashedly interrogates me?

Calm before the storm indeed...

... Sigh... If there's any upside to all this stressful waiting it's that I've been granted time to prep for whatever Solaris is about to throw at me, as well as time to meditate on what it is that makes Stardust so dangerous. He has some kind of beef with Dusk, that much is certain. Seeing as how my little introverted pony never left the capital before Nightterror Nebula's return I'm left to speculate on what said beef could possibly be.

Stardust Glimmer being a Seer is the answer I'm running with right now, and I don't think such a guess is too far off the mark. It checks the most boxes out of any of my theories, which is why it only made sense to mention it in my SOS. Hopefully Prince Solaris will agree with me once I finally get to talk to him. I'm going to trust him with the final decision, so him being on the same page as me would be such a nice bonu-

Hey... Why are you making that face...?

... Oh. I get it.

I'm sure from an outsider's perspective the trust I have in Prince Solaris might seem misplaced. He's the pony who once tried to turn me into Dusk's maid, after all, and the one whose silence is causing me to lose sleep at night. 'Trust' seems tad too strong a word, doesn't it?

Funnily enough I feel the opposite.

Despite all the pain and heartache the Prince's selfish actions has put me through, I still greatly appreciate the guidance and aid he's offered Dusk and I over the years. From my charge's tuition that pays for our room and board, to my title of Squire which rewards me far more power than a child my age should have (such as the right to travel by myself); we both owe that old alicorn a debt for the kindness he's shown us.

Solaris is also the only pony in this life who I accept as my elder. Seeing as how he knows vastly more about Equus than anypony alive it only makes sense. Looking up to him for answers is not illogical, and in fact is not too dissimilar to how I operated the first time I was seven years old. His experience is what I'm banking on to guide me with this Stardust problem, so giving him the benefit of the doubt only seems fair...

... But don't go mixing up my hopefulness with naïvety.

I'm well aware that Solaris' aid doesn't come free, just as I'm well aware that knowledge is the toll I'll have to pay to change the future.

And thus we've come to the true root of this unease.

Info is what I paid when I wanted Solaris to keep Eris away from Dusk, so it's undoubtedly the price I'll have to pay again if I want him to gain similar protection from Stardust. Revealing more about my past has been the only way I've been able to prod that know-it-all Prince into action, so I'm not expecting anything different going forward. This unspoken transaction is the main source of my anxiety right now, because I know better then anyone else how limited a resource knowledge is.

Quick refresher, for both of our benefits; so far the Prince has been able to wrangle out of me the fact that I've seen the future, that my 'visions' take place in an Equestria ruled over by Princess Celestia, and that I'm hiding a larger secret... but he hasn't figured out what yet. He knows it's something that attracts phoenixes towards me, but that's seemingly it.

...

... I...

... I-I can't allow him to gain anymore ground than that.

I just... can't.

I may have grown tremendously in these past few weeks, but my fear of somepony discovering my secret refuses to vanish. Red Gala, Sweepy, Scooter, Rainbow Dash; my new friends have only served to sharpen this terror of mine, not lessen. If they ever learned how I've been lying to them all this time... I don't want to ever take off this mask of mine. I don't want to ever reveal the dark underneath. I can't picture how anypony would react to such a thing, especially Dusk.

Every time I try to visualize him discovering the truth my mind only draws nightmares...

... and said nightmares only multiply when Solaris gets added into the mix.

The Prince is, for lack of a better word, too elusive in his mentality for one to accurately predict; whether he'd be supportive of my existence or a hindrance is a complete mystery. He could begrudgingly accept me in order to preserve his Future Sight, or he could toss me aside in the hope of his vision changing. He willingly gave me the choice to be adopted instead of becoming Dusk's assistant, so him not needing me isn't outside the realm of possibility.

His guilt for sending me to the Bluebelle's estate, his shame for pushing Sunset Blaze too hard, the surprise he displayed in discovering that his brother was not yet beyond redemption; I still believe that these were all unscripted peeks into who he really is, as well as genuine cracks in his royal persona... Having gone from seeing him weekly to monthly, however, has done wonders on my perspective. I can now confidently state that the relationship I share with the Prince isn't true friendship.

Speaking frankly, I don't know what it is!

All I know is that it's one I have to maintain if I want to protect Dusk from this world's more aggressive villains. I don't have any other choice...

...

"... Just... J-just focus on sharing only Stardust Glimmer, and breathing, and everything will be okay Barbara," I speak softly to myself, clasping claws together in a silent prayer. "Breathe in... Breathe out... You've survived worse, girl. You'll survive this too. Everything is going to be okay, so don't let Solaris rile you up like this before you even get the chance to see him! Inhale... exhale..."

... I... am calm... I... am not angry... I am not nervous either...

...

...

... Still...

"... That dolt-colt should at least send me a flipping followup message already and relieve this stupid tension! GAH!"

Gah indeed, self.

You know what? Forget breathing! Solaris is an unbelievable jerk and deserves ALL of my hate! Why, when I get my claws on him, so help me Sola-, er, god I'm gonna... Bleh!

Oh how I wish Prince Solaris was the gentlecolt he pretends to be. Real ones freaking know how to treat ladies properly, and they don't have the habit of wrapping them up in unknowable machinations! I don't think Equestria knows how to make those kinds of ponies anymore though! Solaris certainly isn't one, that's for sure... and, while I'm at it, Elusive definitely isn't one either!"

Shoot, let's just keep going down the whole gosh darn line, shall we?! Bubble Berry, being the youngest of the mane six, doesn't seem to care about chivalry and I kinda get that same vibe from both Applejack and Butterscotch as well; them being too into Apples and Animals respectively to give a hoot. And... as for Dusk?

Snrk

Dusk would probably puke if a pretty mare ever talked to him! Hah!

Thinking about it now, Rainbow Dash and Sweepy Belle are about the only gentlecolts I've met so far in this life, claws down... but the former prefers to be a lady himself while the latter is flipping eight... Ugggaaahhh!! So frustrating!

This whole world is just, so, gosh darn frustrating! Gah!

Hey... You wanna know what I think would fix all of my problems, and decrease my stress levels considerably? I'm not talking about emotional growth, long overdue mind sorting, or inner meditation; those are all for chumps!

No... what would really solve aaalllll of my problems, no joke, is... Texting.

God how I miss texting! As admittedly cool as sending things through magic fire is, it certainly leaves something to be desired when it comes to speed. There's so many stupid steps; first you have the draft up the letter, secondly you have to buy a magical seal, thirdly you either have to replicate the fire with a spell or get a real dragon to do it for you, and then lastly you have to wait around until the dragon on the other side gets a little tickle in either their throat or nose to… t-to…

Achoo!

… to do that.

Huh.

Guess whining actually paid off for once.

Materializing itself from the ether, thanks to the aid of dragonfire, a royal scroll hovers in mid-air briefly before I take it within my claws with practiced ease. "About time," I snap at the rolled up letter. "This better have been worth all the nonexistent hair I pulled out."

Unable to wait a moment longer, I begin yanking it ope-

Clink Clink Clink

"Huh?"

Surprised by a sudden metallic sound of something dropping into the grass, I take my eyes off the letter just long enough to see an unused sending seal laying abandoned where it fell.

That’s… strange. Scroll seals usually get used up after a sending. I can even see the one that was used to deliver this letter hanging uselessly off of its edge. The one on the ground must have been tucked inside before the scroll was sent…

Double strange. Gleaming Shield once told me that the reason Prince Solaris doesn’t attach return seals is because of the security risks they could pose if they fell into the wrong hooves. Said risks are more benign annoyances than true threats, such as prank messaging, but that doesn’t change the fact that I've never received one before. What’s so different this time?

Hopefully this letter will provide me with all the answers I’m seeking. In growing anticipation I shove the extra seal into my purse, steel my nerves, and begin reading.

… Wha?

Taking my eyes off of the message once more, I turn towards the clouds above.

The sight of black ash blanketing the morning sky dominates my vision, and drums up old human memories as a result.

“... Oh,” I spit, disappointment leaking through my tone.

This letter... Sigh...

... This letter isn’t for me.

“Figures... Dusk!” I cry out, re-entering the library and making my way towards the loft. “You got a letter from Prince Solaris!”

Ugh. Looks like it’s time for Dragonshy.

Yay, I guess.

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~Journal Entry 0047~

The young Seer has accepted the forgery.

We now need not but wait.

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