This is hilarious well done I loved the last line Brilliant

“Nope, sorry. I don’t think you could ever get your main to curl like mine.”

That should be "mane".

This is absolutely hilarious!

5708920 Yes, yes it should have been. Fixed now. Thanks for pointing that out.

pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/rsz/mlfw299_small.jpg i2.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/008/549/Naamloos-2.png

The puns just hit right on cue with the comedy, hilarious!

Throws pun rocks at the author

“Pinkie. Why does our oven have a new setting labeled ‘Mailpony’?”

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“Mother, Father. Why is Maud out in the fields doing a really weird dance with a rock?” Pinkamena asked.

Igneous Rock and Cloudy Quartz looked at each other before bolting out the door, “Maud Pie! You get in the house this instant!”

Of course she would!

Short but sweet.

dear good , this whole thing was great but that last line, i actually cried from laughter...

I'm afraid I got everything but that last line. XC

5715321 I'll give you a hint; what does the "popcorn" setting on a microwave do?

5715378 Oh. Fuck. O.O

I GOTTA GO FIND MY FAKE LEG!

Instructions unclear, accidentally summoned Satan for cheese cake.

5715530 Dont worry, this is a surprisingly common problem. If you have not already, please turn off the device and restart it. If that does not work, follow these three simple steps. 1. Acquire a donkey. 2. Begin the chant. 3. Throw donkey off cliff. As a valued customer, we aprieate your feed back and hope you continue utalizing our services. -Calm

Pray your ass off. -Insane

Came for clop, stayed for comedy, and left with a goofy smile.

So now I'm wondering: Does Maud Pie prefer Stalactites or Stalagmites?

This makes vastly more sense than some interpretations of Pinkie. Of course, given that it's Pinkie we're talking about, I'm not sure if that's actually a good thing...

In any case, very nice bit of commentary on a dubious bit of logic. Thank you for it.

SHINING: So, let me get this straight, you're giving Pinkie Pie... Innuendo Lessons?!
CADENCE: Pretty much, yeah.
SHINING:... And here I thought Friendship Lessons sounded stupid!

That...that was hilarious and not at all what I expected.

5715378 I sound dense but I still don't get it.

5739851 We could use it to replace this background pony one

That was the most amusing thing in the world.

5743991
You make me sick.

yes, Cadance. rock farms SUCK at learning about sex. very clever and
well done. a most enjoyable read.

i dont Think this story needs mature rating. its only talking about sex and not a story depicting sexual action so i think a teen rating is ok. i might be wrong i havent look up what a story needs to classefy for a specifik rating

Cadance rolled her eyes and set Pinkie down, a blush showing through her coat, “I was hoping to get some advice on... I can’t believe I’m saying this. Advice on bedroom activities.”

U Wot M8?

“Love, not lust, not even passion. Just love,” Cadance hung her head, hoofing at the floorboards,

Let me get this straight: she's the Princess of the generic concept of emotional connection between two people. Huh. That's completely useless! I'll shelve my concerns about contrivances for the time being. Do go on!

Cadance raised an eyebrow in confusion. Then her mouth slowly dropped to form an ‘O’, “You’ve never had sex have you.”

Her blush finally showed through her coat, and Pinkie covered her face, “Please don’t use that word. It makes me uncomfortable. In fact can we get off the subject?”

You got my attention. This is a cool and unique angle on Pinkie Pie. We just assume as readers that since she's so extroverted, she'd naturally be able to handle sex without any hiccups, but that isn't necessarily true.

“Hello! Rock farm, remember. There wasn’t another pony around for kilometers besides my family! And I was not going to do anything with my dad!” Pinkie shouted defensively.

I'd also add the idea of Pinkie interrupting her dad mid-coitus to ask him about sex without any context whatsoever just makes it even funnier in my head. Bravo sir!

“Mother, Father. Why is Maud out in the fields doing a really weird dance with a rock?” Pinkamena asked.

Igneous Rock and Cloudy Quartz looked at each other before bolting out the door, “Maud Pie! You get in the house this instant!”

Headcanon reluctantly accepted...

I honestly wish you'd taken the concept and gone a bit further with it. This is a pretty cute little story. It doesn't need the M tag though.

Liked.

5715378 I never used it so I don't know.
This story just wasn't funny to me. I can actually picture Pinkie Pie being like this. Then again, this isn't the first time Cadance had to deal with awkward situations.

So, the Pies never really taught their daughters much about sex?

And yet, they produced four kids. Sounds like they were hogging all the fun. How in the world is Pinkie supposed to get together with Cheese to create the Ultimate Party Pony if she hardly knows a thing about it?

How inconsiderate!

You’re parents were more traditional then?

Your.

I rather like this; I felt sure Pinkie's parents wouldn't have discussed sex with their daughters. The Christian leader Elaine Mumford apparently got this talk from her mother;

"I gave birth to you, and your sister. I've no idea how, so don't ask me anything!"

Igneous seemed weirdly unbothered being caught on the job; feel sorry for Maud, ouch. Pinkie had a convincingly manic start, an awkward middle, and a funny conclusion.

Then I remembered how outgoing you were and how Twilight always talks about how you throw the best parties. I sort of put two and two together…”

Really Cadence? I'm not sorry for you now, whatever you get from Pinkie now it's what you deserve for being presumptuous.

“It’s ok, everypony thinks I’m like that,” Pinkie sighed, slouching down behind the counter, “They think because I’m so carefree and know so many ponies that I do those things all the time.

So everypony just assumes?

I expected better from pony kind.

~Leonzilla

The ending was the best part! I love how Pinkie is now Cadence's student.

Also the letter Pinkie wrote made me laugh so hard.

I dunno, I feel like her parents would have taught her the "tab a into slot b" version before sending her to ponyville. Where for some reason she moved before being fully grown, according to Pinkie Pride. Though I guess she might have been visiting... the whole thing was very strange.