• Member Since 21st Jul, 2014
  • offline last seen Jan 3rd, 2019

ScreamingDoom


T

Things have begun to go wrong in Equestria: a massive storm, stolen artifacts, and some force gathering Equestria's greatest enemies in the background. Most disturbingly, it appears that Celestia herself has a hoof in the machinations troubling the land. The only answers may lie in Celestia's past and the ancient diary she entrusts to her Faithful Student. Can Twilight uncover her mentor's past secrets in order to save Equestria's future?

Chapters (13)
Comments ( 39 )

Wow! Beautiful writing and very interesting concept.

I dunno, Chrysalis. You might want to be more wary of your new ally... :rainbowlaugh:

7052180

Indeed. A little bit of wariness would serve her well. But, hey... power is quite the cloying incentive. :derpytongue2:

"Luna... where are the moon and stars?"

Oh sure, blame Luna. Big sisters are the worst! :rainbowlaugh:

7058270

:rainbowlaugh:

I know you're being facetious (you are right?), but it definitely wasn't my intention to imply that Tia was blaming Luna for the loss of the sky.

Which is not to say some other ponies might not.

7059484 Oh I know, that was just a humorous deliberate misreading. :scootangel:

You've got me on the edge of my seat. I kept expecting Luna to be Chrysalis in disguise. :rainbowlaugh:

"Pretty much the worst thing ever!" Rainbow Dash replied, running a hand through her wet mane.

Sweet Celestia, the rain is mutating ponies! :pinkiegasp: :rainbowlaugh:

7070235

Heh, that would've been too obvious, I think. Besides which, she is elsewhere.

Sweet Celestia, the rain is mutating ponies! :pinkiegasp: :rainbowlaugh:

*facepalm* I can't believe I missed the hand thing. Thanks for pointing it out. Fixed.

When Tia didn't immediately move to follow the Voice's advice, it spoke again.

You missed closing a bold tag, here. :twilightsmile:

Tia arched her brows again. "Impressive."

"Most impressive."

"You don't know the power of the SunButt..." :trollestia:

This deal was getting worse all the time.

Poor Lando Chrysalis... :rainbowlaugh:

7097037

Lando Chrysalis, ha ha!

I wonder if when changelings imitate pegasi if they gain the ability to walk on clouds. Then they can have a Cloud City!

Poor Celly and Lulu. Being prejudiced against is horrible, awful beyond anything else. I hate Silverhoof! How dare he cut the duo off from everyone else? I can only hope that he got what he deserved in the end.

There's just one thing, if the unicorns could raise the sun on their own: did they lose most of their power in the end? And do they even want to go back to being alicorns again?

I dont think situation will be better, even if Celestia listen the voice*s command.

7112228

Poor Celly and Lulu. Being prejudiced against is horrible, awful beyond anything else.

It is pretty horrible at that. Especially from those would previously call friend.

I hate Silverhoof! How dare he cut the duo off from everyone else? I can only hope that he got what he deserved in the end.

Hee. There are few compliments that an author gets that compare to the admission that they had affected someone's emotions. It means I've been doing my job. Thank you! And Silverhoof is definitely a bit of a heel. :)

There's just one thing, if the unicorns could raise the sun on their own: did they lose most of their power in the end? And do they even want to go back to being alicorns again?

To answer the first question, it still took six unicorns working in tandem to raise the sun. The power of those unicorns is kinda vague, but one can be roughly assured that they were probably in the upper echelons of power for unicorns. Training and having that many magi act in concert is not an easy task. It's not so much that the unicorns lost their power but that once Luna and Celestia returned to service the cosmos that there wasn't much need to keep up with it. There would be lots of other tasks a suitable mage could lend his or her talents to. Later chapters will address this more completely, though in likely a more oblique form.

The second is quite an open question, isn't it? It's unquestionable that losing their alicorn status has also fielded ponies with new opportunities. Few things spur ambition like resentment, and few things encourage self-deception as to the rightness of their course than ambition. No pony sees the monster in the mirror. If returning to being an alicorn meant that everypony did so as well, how many of Silverhooves' followers -- or even unicorns in general -- would be willing to give up their own perceived prestige as the last magic casters for that?

And thank you for reading!

7112338

Another open question. Would Celestia fared better with Stardancer if she listened to the Voice, or would Stardancer dug in her hooves even moreso and made the ending of their friendship even more fractious and painful? I like to leave things like this up to the minds of my readers. If I've done my job right, readers would be able to make their own conclusions based on what they know of the characters and story thusfar.

Oh, and thank you for reading!

7112895
I think that voice = EvilCelestia. And her intentions in not good.

have you noticed that nopony other than you is allowed in his little clique?

Should that be 'no geo-equine other than you'? :twilightsmile:

Not sure who I dislike more, at this point: Silverhoof or Stardancer. :facehoof:

7115262

Should that be 'no geo-equine other than you'? :twilightsmile:

Ah! Yes, you're right. Thanks for spotting that. Fixed.

Not sure who I dislike more, at this point: Silverhoof or Stardancer. :facehoof:

Silverhoof is a bit of an ass, but I hope that even if you dislike Stardancer that her reaction doesn't come off as not understandable. Forgiveness is a hard thing and these aren't adults; they're fillies and and colts playing at being adults due to circumstances and basic need. It's easy to nurse grudges for the young -- slights real and imagined sting much more. Especially things as traumatic as what happened here make long-lasting impressions in the young. It's easy to blame others, even if rationally they aren't at fault. As I said, forgiveness is hard.

As always, thanks for reading! :twilightsmile:

7115664 Oh, no, it's not an unexpected reaction to her situation. I just hope she lives to regret it, that's all. :rainbowlaugh:

7116976

Oh good. :) If her motivation was just entirely alien or incomprehensible then I would've failed as a writer.

It feels decently-paced thus far. Maybe a little on the slow side, but not so slow as to be aggravating, particularly given the speed you've been writing.

One other note - you use 'Zacora' at once point, instead of the proper 'Zecora', so may want to correct that :scootangel:

7132521

It feels decently-paced thus far. Maybe a little on the slow side, but not so slow as to be aggravating, particularly given the speed you've been writing.

Great! :twilightsmile: Thanks so much for the feedback. Good to know that the pacing hasn't been too off-putting.

One other note - you use 'Zacora' at once point, instead of the proper 'Zecora', so may want to correct that :scootangel:

Oh, oops! Thanks for pointing that out. I don't know why I thought it was the other spelling.

Thanks for reading!

"Elder Celestia?" the cloaked pony asked, though it seemed more of a statement, "Queen Stardancer, Archmagus of Unicornia, does hereby demand you and your sister immediately present yourselves to Her Majesty's home. We are here to convey you to the capital and to our Queen's Grace." Still keeping the trumpet floating in front of him, the herald stepped to the side and opened the door of the carriage, bowing deeply and motioning inside.

"Nice? Nice?" Clarion looked to Celestia with an affronted frown, "This is the most wonderful city in all the land, Elder Celestia! It is a city of wonder and magic! Of unicorns. It goes far beyond merely 'nice'."

Ah, they've started to gain the pride and arrogance shown by Princess Platinum in the 'Hearth's Warming Eve.

"I know what power does and I know what power costs," Celestia stated, though in truth it was more for the Voice than for her traveling companion, "The one is never equal to the other."

That's very true, I bet that every leader in human history has struggled with that temptation. Most people in authority do: you have to control it or it will control you.

"Nice? Nice?" Clarion looked to Celestia with an affronted frown, "This is the most wonderful city in all the land, Elder Celestia! It is a city of wonder and magic! Of unicorns. It goes far beyond merely 'nice'."
As they neared the gates, Celestia peered curiously out at the guards checking other carriages before waving them through. "It seems to have a fair number of earth-ponies as well," she observed.
Clarion waved a hoof dismissively, "Of course we need those kind to do the mundane work. It would be a colossal waste to have any unicorn use their magic on such lower pursuits. Not that unicorns couldn't do it, and do it so much better than mere earth-ponies, of course. But why lower ourselves to such common labor when there is a ready pool available?" He smiled, clucking his tongue in pity, "Really, it is a kindness of ours to allow earth-ponies such work within our vaunted city, despite their inefficiency."

Discrimination, definitely. I think I know who introduced that belief: King Silversnob the Illustrious Jerk.

"Celestia," the old stallion repeated, his frown deepening, "I know that name. From... long ago. I think... yes, it had something to do with the stars." His frown slid into a vacuous, wan smile, his eyes becoming unfocused and staring off into the middle distance, "My wife loves the stars. She dances on them. I think. It's been so long since I..." His voice faded off and a string of drool began to ooze down his mouth. Again, awkward silence filled the hall until the aged pony's attention snapped back to Celestia and he peered at her with guileless gaze. "You there. I know you. Are you one of my children?"

Oh dear, I think he's got some form of dementia. That's sad, I wouldn't wish that on anyone as it's scary and horrible.

Stardancer's voice softened, "I know you never particularly liked him, Tia, but he was still a good pony. Oh, he had his flaws. He was definitely calculating, manipulative, and arrogant. But you were wrong when you said that he only wanted to use me. I mean, yeah, he did, but he also loved me. Or came to love me." Her voice quieted further, "And I always loved him. Even now with his addled mind, I love him."

Ah, so she still loves him. Sometimes it happens to people: they fall in love with the most unbearable people and love them, no matter their faults. That still doesn't excuse his behaviour in the past. Remember Gilda in the beginning? She was mean towards everyone else except Rainbow Dash, and she didn't feel remorse for the bad things she'd done. I also blame Silverhoof for letting the unicorns get so biased.

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I'm glad that Stardancer and Celestia made up in the end: I was really upset when they broke apart. Now it's OK again.

Splendid chapter! Thank you for posting it!

Are Celestia and Luna going to interacting with the pegasi soon?

Man, promote this story on fimfiction groups. She is deserver far more than 10 likes!

7149267

Ah, they've started to gain the pride and arrogance shown by Princess Platinum in the 'Hearth's Warming Eve.

Indeed they are. The road to darkness starts early.

That's very true, I bet that every leader in human history has struggled with that temptation. Most people in authority do: you have to control it or it will control you.

As is said, if you want to test the measure of a person, give them power.

Discrimination, definitely. I think I know who introduced that belief: King Silversnob the Illustrious Jerk.

Well, he certainly encouraged it and fanned the flames., but I like to think it was a group effort. It's always nice to hear you're special, and it doesn't take much for that to be twisted in the most ugly ways.

Oh dear, I think he's got some form of dementia. That's sad, I wouldn't wish that on anyone as it's scary and horrible.

There are few things more scary than the loss of one's own mind.

Ah, so she still loves him. Sometimes it happens to people: they fall in love with the most unbearable people and love them, no matter their faults. That still doesn't excuse his behaviour in the past. Remember Gilda in the beginning? She was mean towards everyone else except Rainbow Dash, and she didn't feel remorse for the bad things she'd done. I also blame Silverhoof for letting the unicorns get so biased.

Oh, absolutely. It doesn't excuse his actions in the slightest. Still, it's somewhat heartening to know that even a jerk like Silverhoof can find someone to care about them beyond the material and can do the same for somepony else.

I'm glad that Stardancer and Celestia made up in the end: I was really upset when they broke apart. Now it's OK again.

Age has a way of putting some things in perspective. :twilightsmile:

Splendid chapter! Thank you for posting it!

No problem, I'm glad you enjoyed!

Are Celestia and Luna going to interacting with the pegasi soon?

Oh, I'd say that's a distinct possibility. :trollestia:

Once again, thank you for reading!

7149375

Why, thank you! That is very kind of you to say!

I'm not sure what the etiquette is here on fimfiction regarding self-promotion, though. Is it considered rude to add one's own stories to other groups?

Do you have any suggestions as to which groups would be appropriate for this story?

Thanks so much for reading!

7149919
Celestia and Luna, Struggling autors, Protect Celestia.

7150182

Thanks for the suggestions! I'll check them out! :twilightsmile:

No complaints about the pacing from me. Everything seems to be proceeding in an unhurried-yet-interesting rate. :twilightsmile:

7157140

Hey, thanks for answering! It's a relief to know that the story doesn't seem either rushed or slow. I appreciate your thoughts on the matter!

Thanks again for reading!

Thusfar the past has most captivated me, but I've been enjoying both really - I want to understand other-Tia better, that is for sure.

7205798

Ahh, great, thanks for responding!

Don't worry, you will definitely find out more about other-Tia in the future. :twilightsmile:

With luck, I should have the next chapter out by Friday or early Saturday. RL is just conspiring a little to keep me from writing.

As always, thank you for reading!

This is such a good story X3
*squeals

7245369

Why thank you! :twilightsmile: I'm very happy you're enjoying it. It always gladdens my heart to see others liking my writing.

Thanks for reading!

I'm rather sad this doesn't have more attention to it.

I mean, I love Sunset's part in this; the idea that for once, the Dark-Celestia has made her first major misstep. One that will surely bite her, hard, in the time to come.

7276277

I'm rather sad this doesn't have more attention to it.

I for one appreciate every eyeball and comment that takes a look at my horse-words. :twilightsmile:

Of course, I wouldn't say no to more attention.

I mean, I love Sunset's part in this; the idea that for once, the Dark-Celestia has made her first major misstep. One that will surely bite her, hard, in the time to come.

Oh yes, Dark-Celestia didn't expect Sunset to so uniformly reject her offer. She just didn't get how much condiment-head has changed as a person. She has a tendency to overestimate her own models of others' behavior.

It definitely is something that will come back to bite her later.

I've actually been somewhat busy the last couple weeks so haven't had much of a chance to write. Hopefully next week will see the new chapter!

Thanks so much for reading and commenting! I really appreciate it!

7278450

I always think of her as Bacon Hair, myself. I mean, just look at the patterning!

7278665

Ha ha! Baconhair is a good one, too.

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