Well, this is just turning into a big mess now. Fluttershy and Gilda had 3 chapters for them but Twi has 4 and it doesnt seem to end at anytime soon which just ruins the order of the whole fic. And the whole Facet thing just ticks me off since it was cancelled. How much longer until its finished? i just want this to end already.
This was amazing! At every point I thought it couldn't get any better, it just amped up more and more. you've really outdone yourself with this chapter, my friend. I crave more already.
8895883 What can I say, I love a good corruption story and you my good perverted man made a good corruption story, my only complaint is I want all of the mane six ruined by him and us seeing how he did it
8895883 Your not wrong but here's the problem, i already invested way to much time into this and stopping now would just leave me unsatisfied not knowing how it ends. I have this nasty habbit of once i started something i want to finish it. If i had known the content and whats this story gonna be about i would've never started it in the first place.
Applejack and Rarity have both been touched on briefly during the story. Applejack was picked for modelling for a school calendar project and exploited under Klein's lens. Rarity was a Senator's daughter driven up the wall from a lifetime of being daddy's well-behaved little girl, allowing Klein to pick at that and tease her about it and eventually seduce her into bed.
I hadn't had any thoughts about Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, although it would turn out to be a funny twist if Pinkie had simultaneously been a member of the Pink Circle and KIein's AV Club the entire time. But she's not really suited to this sort of story.
As for Rainbow Dash, I forget if I touched on it at any point but she and Gilda are very happily dating in this story. Gilda hasn't found the opportunity to confess to her girlfriend about all the stuff she's been doing with Klein, but that seems like it would be a nice lead-in for a threeway with the lesbian couple. If I were going to include her I'd definitely have gone with that angle.
But this is all academic, anyway, since the story I want to write only focusses on Fluttershy, Gilda and Twilight.
As an aside, each of the main three girls was chosen because they embody a different approach to feminism, with Fluttershy and Gilda being very casual allies seeking an exchange of ideals and respect of boundaries respectively, which is why Klein's approaches revolve around those things. Twilight is meant to be more of a strong rival, since she's more intelligent and well-read than Klein and could outwit and out-debate him on a level field.
Maybe as a prequel story or chapter in the future you could show him exploiting Apple Jack and Rarity, but I suppose focusing on those three for this story works.
Too much telling this chapter versus showing. I get you want to create a certain feeling and certain sensations in your readers, but if you keep hammering them over the head with how skilled Klein supposedly is (he's not) and how pathetic Facet is (he's also not) instead of showing it, then the ones like me are a little put off.
I mean, I already think all the girls at this school are braindead because of how utterly stupid they get around Klein, but Facet seems to fail more because, well, the story wants him to fail, not because of anything he actually did. Or Klein did. Klein doesn't need to do much, he wins by default, but that's the premise of the story, so commenting on that makes little difference.
8896076 As a 'strong rival' Twilight utterly fails.
This story has presented Twilight with the same level of intelligence and will power as Gilda and Fluttershy. She falls for the assholes stunts even after falling victim to them before as well as going along with his sexist logic. It would be one thing if, when they first met, he couldn't order her around and Twilight called campus security when he pulled out his dick. Follow that up by manipulating her slowly over time instead of one camera shoot. Or maybe make her emotionally vulnerable by making fake pictures of Facet sleeping around. As it stands, all the women fell like they are written the same and this dick head gets them with no effort. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a Crystal Cock in his room and was dumping stupid pills into the water supply!
8895926 Hard to call this a good corruption story since Klein does it all with ease and never seems to have any setbacks. Personally, I find that the best corruption stories have the main character working hard to stay under the radar and experiance a few bumps.
8920747 Cuckolding fetish. Not my cup of tea, but it's absolutely a thing, and not too small a thing, and I'm not knocking it. My problem really is more with how things are less fun when they're too on-the-nose.
Ah, the classic case of putting your foot in your mouth.
oh this is gonna be good *munches on some popcorn*
I really hope we get to see Klein victory lap. I would love to read Twilight crouption as she uses klein to shame her boyfriend....
8895022
Maybe he turns her boyfriend into a lady boy
Well, this is just turning into a big mess now. Fluttershy and Gilda had 3 chapters for them but Twi has 4 and it doesnt seem to end at anytime soon which just ruins the order of the whole fic. And the whole Facet thing just ticks me off since it was cancelled.
How much longer until its finished? i just want this to end already.
This was amazing! At every point I thought it couldn't get any better, it just amped up more and more. you've really outdone yourself with this chapter, my friend. I crave more already.
8894935
It's what Facet's best at!
8894986
8843758
8845098
8895780
Thanks for the continued support, guys! I love these comments.
8895022
I've thought about how much post-corruption stuff I want to write and it's not a whooole lot, but hopefully it'll be enough to satisfy people.
8895235
There's at least 2-3 more Twilight chapters still to come! I'd suggest stopping reading if it's bothering you.
8895883
What can I say, I love a good corruption story and you my good perverted man made a good corruption story, my only complaint is I want all of the mane six ruined by him and us seeing how he did it
8895883
Your not wrong but here's the problem, i already invested way to much time into this and stopping now would just leave me unsatisfied not knowing how it ends. I have this nasty habbit of once i started something i want to finish it.
If i had known the content and whats this story gonna be about i would've never started it in the first place.
8895926
Applejack and Rarity have both been touched on briefly during the story. Applejack was picked for modelling for a school calendar project and exploited under Klein's lens. Rarity was a Senator's daughter driven up the wall from a lifetime of being daddy's well-behaved little girl, allowing Klein to pick at that and tease her about it and eventually seduce her into bed.
I hadn't had any thoughts about Pinkie and Rainbow Dash, although it would turn out to be a funny twist if Pinkie had simultaneously been a member of the Pink Circle and KIein's AV Club the entire time. But she's not really suited to this sort of story.
As for Rainbow Dash, I forget if I touched on it at any point but she and Gilda are very happily dating in this story. Gilda hasn't found the opportunity to confess to her girlfriend about all the stuff she's been doing with Klein, but that seems like it would be a nice lead-in for a threeway with the lesbian couple. If I were going to include her I'd definitely have gone with that angle.
But this is all academic, anyway, since the story I want to write only focusses on Fluttershy, Gilda and Twilight.
As an aside, each of the main three girls was chosen because they embody a different approach to feminism, with Fluttershy and Gilda being very casual allies seeking an exchange of ideals and respect of boundaries respectively, which is why Klein's approaches revolve around those things. Twilight is meant to be more of a strong rival, since she's more intelligent and well-read than Klein and could outwit and out-debate him on a level field.
8896076
alright then, fair enough.
Maybe as a prequel story or chapter in the future you could show him exploiting Apple Jack and Rarity, but I suppose focusing on those three for this story works.
I hope Facet texts back." I am so turned on now send pics :]. That wood be the best.
Too much telling this chapter versus showing. I get you want to create a certain feeling and certain sensations in your readers, but if you keep hammering them over the head with how skilled Klein supposedly is (he's not) and how pathetic Facet is (he's also not) instead of showing it, then the ones like me are a little put off.
I mean, I already think all the girls at this school are braindead because of how utterly stupid they get around Klein, but Facet seems to fail more because, well, the story wants him to fail, not because of anything he actually did. Or Klein did. Klein doesn't need to do much, he wins by default, but that's the premise of the story, so commenting on that makes little difference.
8905333
Im glad to know others also see the major flaws in this and not just praising it for no reason.
8896076
As a 'strong rival' Twilight utterly fails.
This story has presented Twilight with the same level of intelligence and will power as Gilda and Fluttershy. She falls for the assholes stunts even after falling victim to them before as well as going along with his sexist logic. It would be one thing if, when they first met, he couldn't order her around and Twilight called campus security when he pulled out his dick. Follow that up by manipulating her slowly over time instead of one camera shoot. Or maybe make her emotionally vulnerable by making fake pictures of Facet sleeping around. As it stands, all the women fell like they are written the same and this dick head gets them with no effort. I wouldn't be surprised if he had a Crystal Cock in his room and was dumping stupid pills into the water supply!
8905333
Agreed. Why even have a character like Facet in this story? All he did was fill up space.
8895926
Hard to call this a good corruption story since Klein does it all with ease and never seems to have any setbacks. Personally, I find that the best corruption stories have the main character working hard to stay under the radar and experiance a few bumps.
8920747
Cuckolding fetish. Not my cup of tea, but it's absolutely a thing, and not too small a thing, and I'm not knocking it. My problem really is more with how things are less fun when they're too on-the-nose.
8923359
Yeah
Okay... Unexpected. Guess I was totally wrong.
Kinda wonder if Klein actually fell in love with Twilight, considering when he zoomed in on her face and nothing else after the call.
I understand why this fic has so few likes and so many dislikes, most Male human MCs on fimfic act like Paul a spineless doormat.
The satire in this story is so strong it's becoming Meda.derpicdn.net/img/2018/5/14/1732440/full.gif
I love it