• Member Since 23rd Aug, 2014
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Frocto


Specimen of Maximum Nerd.

Comments ( 201 )

I hope you and everyone else who use patreon on this site suffer every penalty of the law possible for making money on something that isn't yours. :D

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You see, feminism's image has been ruined by radicals, #gamergate, etc.

Feminism It's self isn't bad, but people who are radical feminists make it look bad.

5662059 *Glances back up at the piece of shit that was just written*

I don't think it's Feminism that has the major problem. If we're gonna extend that fallacious logic, we'd be saying that Christians look infinitely worse because of Westboro. Or Bronies look bad because of /mlp/. Or gamers look bad because of Gamergate. While all of these things are problems in and of themselves, you are going to find more people in those groups decrying them than not. Groups like FEMEN get more criticism from other feminists than they do from anybody else.

And more often that not, the kind of people who are accused of being radicals by the Internet (Emma Watson, Zoe Quinn, Anita Sarkeesian, ect) are not actually radicals. The Internet just has it's whining maw up it's own ass.

Feminism has had brainless dipshits trying to slander the movement since it's conception back in the 1930's. What was William Randolph Hearst in the 30's was Fox News in the 90's and 8Chan today.

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Anita Sarkeesian might not be a radical, doesn't mean she isn't a lying, thieving waste of oxygen. And as for raging at the anti feminism message, why did you read it then? It's clearly marked in the discription as such so for you to sit here and go "I don't like the ideas in this piece of fiction clearly not targeted at me" is as much a waste of your time as it is for anyone who looks at your comment.

5669522 The thing with Sarkeesian comes down to Internet slapfights, which is about as valuable an exercise as slamming one's face into a brick wall.

As for why I read it? Evil themes and evil people fascinate me. So by virtue of being a story about a virulent scumbag, I found myself curious. However, like certain other works (Fall of Equestria) the story is very clumsily written. It fails to come off as a depiction of misogyny, and instead an advocation. Instead of it being made clear to the audience that the character is a sexist piece of shit, the body of the writing (ie, using the author's narration for most of the posturing instead of the character's thoughts or dialogue) brings the notion that it is the author who has some issues he's working through rather than the character.

Whether that is by design or incompetence is yet to be seen.

I actually do like the ideas in this piece of fiction. As I said: Evil people fascinate me. But there are two sides to every story. The idea, and the mechanics of one's own writing. And that second is where the whole story crumbles because the author took their idea and handled it very carelessly. The whole thing is very clumsily written and needs a second run of editing.

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Internet slapfights? She's two years overdue for her 12 videos, of which she's made less than half, with no noticable increase in production quality or any other reason why she would need even a penny of the rediculous amount she recieved. And to top it all off she still asks for donations, she's the literal definition of a professional victim. And that's ignoring the fact that she cherry picks to an insane degree, but if you want to defend her that's your business.

As for the story, I've got no great literary skill, not do I care to read too much into fettish fuel. Overall I don't remember any huge grammar errors, but then I was skimming it so I can't be sure. My biggest complaint is that it's far too long winded and requries a rediculous amount of willing suspension, but then it's aimed at people who want pages and pages of this stuff, so I can't really fault him for that.

As a side note if you want to reply to the Anita comment please do it through pm, should probably keep the comments related to the story.

i think this story is getting too many dislikes and i know the "anti feminism" thing it bad but still, i dont think the story itself is awful

Comment posted by Frocto deleted Feb 26th, 2015

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"The whole thing is very clumsily written and needs a second run of editing."

My editor, who's otherwise the most helpful and besterest duder I've ever had the good fortune of meeting, only made it nine pages into this story before he gave up and went back to editing my Bleach mind-control series. So, uh, it didn't really get a first run of editing? If you're volunteering to help, I'd be delighted to get the google doc for you.

5672586 Honestly no. I'm not one for editing. But to give one crucial piece of feedback: There's too much of the main character's toxic attitude in the narration. It comes off as the author and the character being of the same attitude toward women and feminism. Altering it to be either his dialogue or his thoughts would alleviate that.

I guess I can't really say for sure what your goals were with this, but I don't believe it was executed as well as it could have. If you were meaning to paint feminism in a bad light, you failed it completely with a main character so disposed and awful to females it worked for feminism. If you were trying to satirize people who are antifeminist because of the stereotypical feminist, you built a totally corny, unbelievable villain of a main character it also didn't work in that light. So I don't know.

Technically, the writing is good, but the characterization isn't so good.

Fluttershy is written as unbelievably stupid. Having Klein pointing it out doesn't make it better.

Klein right now is a one-dimensional character who only thinks about sex. I know that you wanted to write an evil character, but if you added something that most people can relate to, then he would be more interesting to the readers.

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i made it so hung hunks could jerk their naughty dicks and cuties could pound their filthy pussies

Woooooooooooooooooooow I am surprisingly okay with this

Cool, I Love The Characters

Good story.

Hope to see the next chapter soon.

Y'know what? I'm okay with this story. Its obviously meant for a market, and that's okay. It won't appeal to everyone, that's okay. Its not meant as a serious "Take that" to all women in the world (I like to think), but its obviously porn for certain people, and as far as I can tell? Its good porn.

I get why the story has so many dislikes, but I'll give it a thumbs up.

5661289 what do you mean "isn't yours"?

Pretty sexy and debauchery-like. I like!

Great chapter.:pinkiehappy: Shame we didn't see a full lemon though.

This chapter needs to continue. Who knows what valuable insight that survey can shine on the oh so serious topic of feminism?

Klein reminds me of the current Australian government

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As an Australian, this comment just justified over a year of writing and uploading pony stories for me. Godbless you, Billiamiscool

6709326 I'm glad my comment have given such gratification :yay:

This Klein-guy is hilarious. :rainbowlaugh:

Oh, and before you get offended by this... this is a fantasy, and a damn good one at that.
Klein was titfucking someone who didn't even realise (or so we are led to believe) she was getting titfucked, don't take it too seriously.

This better not be straight-up rape, 'kay? :trixieshiftright:

that's an interesting twist...

I agree with Koekelbag. Rape most likely would derail my enjoyment of this story. Still I would find some more Gilda interesting....

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I actually personally can't get turned on by rape pretty much at all. There's a snippet about that in the first chapter:

"You're one big-breasted kitty, aren't you? How about on all fours now, okay?" It was funny... This was different to last time, the two of them were all alone. There was absolutely nothing stopping him from unzipping his pants, pinning Fluttershy down and just having at her. It would be rape, at least to start with, but she'd probably soon be moaning and thrusting back at him. So why didn't he?

As he took shot after shot, and her smiles got wider and more relaxed and natural, he realized this wasn't even really about what he wanted. He wanted Fluttershy to enjoy her body and be comfortable with it. He wanted her to eagerly anticipate his lewd compliments, or even eventually display skin on her own initiative, or present her own lewd ideas. Why force yourself on a girl and hurt her, when it was so much more fun to leave her whimpering and overflowing with need? Right up until her last reserves of self-control popped, and she was pawing at you hungrily. By the end of the day, Klein wanted Fluttershy to be the horny flesh trying throwing herself at him, not the other way around~

Klein has already gone to some pretty ridiculous lengths to sucker girls into sex. Gilda is much more sharp than Fluttershy and she's less naive than Twilight, so if he wants the puss he'll just have to work a little harder.

I'm really enjoying the setups you come up with.

I really like what Klein's done to Fluttershy, personally. He's turned her strangely wicked, while still retaining her innocence and timid nature. Awesome. Really can't wait to see what else those two have been up to together.

As for the main part, I enjoyed it. There's an underline of Gilda playing up her disgust and being more positively affected by the men then she lets on. Least, that's what I saw.

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At the risk of spoilers, I think you'll really like the upcoming Fluttershy stuff if that's how you feel.

I tip my hat to this Klein guy he's got some good skills.

Hot damn this story is sexy and such ridiculous fun, I can't wait for more. Definitely want to see how hard he has to work to get Gilda, and how Twilight goes in the next chapter about her, whenever that will be in the update oroder.

On the left side of the shot, the phone was trying to receive a call from an entry that had previously been called "Darling~" but now just read "Cuckold~" Looks like Klein hadn't even let her dump the poor boy, she was stringing him along!

Heh, at this rate I wouldn't be surprised in Klein had gotten her to convince her boyfriend into wearing a chastity cage, then giving him the key! I can't imagine she'd have much trouble.

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Thanks very much! I'm hoping to have the Gilda stuff wrapped up by the end of February, so keep an eye out!

At this rate, I wouldn't be surprised if Klein had the squad of needy sl*ts he's raising form some sort of "domestic club". Letting the more experienced girls teach the less experienced ones, you know.

Incidentally, what would he do if some other guy came up to him and asked to be taught how to treat a girl right, quote unquote? Would he help out a bro? If, say, the rich but wimpy Blueblood asked for help and promised lots of money and favours in return? I couldn't make a prediction. Klein is big enough an asshole to try and stab the other guy in the back, I'd think. On the other hand, lost of money, and it can pay even more to have a friend in high places. Plus, there's the added amusement of when they've actually succeeded at some point and can watch their new bro find the right girl; if they don't already have their sights set on one, that is.

Maybe a stubborn redneck farm girl. That would be the ultimate test, no?

Interesting. You know, I'm kinda starting to think there's more at work here than him merely being that good at manipulation if he can even flip the lesbians. And it's not like Klein isn't a greedy f*cker enough to put something in the school's water supply, turning girls into sluts or something.

Either way, he's wearing down Gilda, that's for sure. Might be wearing her out soon as well. After this arch, it's back to Fluttershy? That's going to be fun! Also having my fingers crossed for the suggestion from last chapter, but that's just my own personal wish. :raritywink:

whoa, that was hot. and she came so close too.

It's pretty amusing to read all those tiny bits that point out how utterly unrealistic this story is, talk about self-awareness.

Also... wow, Gilda got it pretty bad, even I felt disgusted by what the boys did here to her, and that's quite an achievement...

I'm feeling less and less like Klein is such an incredible manipulator, or even all that smart, and more that he's just unnaturally lucky.

I almost want him to try to get it on with Dean Cadance, only to get cut to size by her boyfriend ^_^

Well, anyhow. I wonder if Klein or one of his buddies will try something bondage-y with the girls at some point. Not in a forceful way, no, there's plenty of playful stuff you can do with that, from bondage mittens to go with a cute cosplay to a raunchy bet like Rainbow or Applejack claiming they can out-wrestle any dude with their arms tied behind their back. Or heck, maybe they make that bet with each other after the guys encouraged them.

Also, are there any male canon characters among Klein's acquaintances, by the way? Will there be? I can imagine someone like Flash Sentry maybe getting frustrated with being brushed off by Twilight every time they meet and asking him for advice. Trenderhoof is another good choice, or maybe Blueblood like I mentioned before.

this cute little feminist

...eh? Darn, I thought Gilda was many things, but a feminist?

What, is she also a member of the pink circle?

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Thanks for the continued interest in the story! As of now all the primary characters are in place and I don't have many plans to introduce new characters. This is a Fluttershy-Gilda-Twilight-centric story.

The next chapters with Fluttershy have some public exposure/humiliation elements you might find interesting, although mixed in with a VERY heavy dose of her boyfriend continuing to get mistreated. So watch out for that, haha~

He growled low and dark in the back of his throat, solely fixated on getting off inside this cute little feminist. The crusade for women's rights would have to take a little break right now, because Gilda was definitely out to lunch.

LMFAO THAT'S ENOUGH WEIRD FIMFICTION FOR TODAY

The irony about this is that "Klein" has a specific meaning in German—it means "small".

Well, this was interesting! It's true, her exposure was fun, but I'll admit I'm not all that fond of her boyfriend's role or the one of Klein himself. So, thanks for the warning! :rainbowlaugh:

Paul's pathetic cuckolding was fine for a while, but he should get a clue at some point. And Klein, he's taking up too much spotlight. He's not all that interesting, but we get stuck with him again and again. A bit unfortunate since, as you explained, there won't be other characters introduced to share the spotlight with him. A canon male turning out to be a douche like him would work perfectly.

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