38. Once a Year (by Eyeswirl the Weirded)
Sigh
Red Hope was sure he was going to hate himself for this, but there was no other choice.
Something was happening today, and even though he knew the exact time and place, he wasn’t going to be there for it. Moondancer would be there, and so would Twilight Sparkle, but he wouldn’t be joining them. There was a chance, he knew, that things would have gone well, that today could have very well been the day in which he caught Twilight’s eye, if only for just a few minutes, talked to her one-on-one for a few short, wonderful moments in which to cement him in her mind as a pony that exists.
It wasn’t to be, however, because today was an important day, both for Twilight and Moondancer, and he knew that if he made any kind of move on Twilight on such a day, there was no way he wouldn’t come off as a total creep for it.
Well, okay, maybe there was a little way, but-
“NO,” growled Brain, “you get one chance with Twilight Sparkle, and you will not ruin it by looking like you only showed up to get behind her tail!”
The thought drew a blush, but the combination of his coat color and a hoofful of cards did a lot to hide it.
That brought him to the reason he was going to hate himself.
A stallion sitting across the table from him smiled. “Anypony got any threes?”
“For pity’s sake,” grumbled Frolicsome Meadowlark, also seated around the circle of ponies playing cards, “that wasn’t funny the first time, it’s not funny now.”
To be sure he wouldn’t be tempted to go drop in on Twilight and Moondancer, Red had agreed to spend the day with the S.A.S.S. (Twilight Version)
Daemon Bash beamed his usual, psychotic grin. “Anypony got any s-”
“No,” deadpanned High Roller, "nopony here has a soul. We do not have them, so we will not bet them, there is no means by which to win a soul this day.”
The statement didn’t have to be true to make their insane host deflate, shutting him up for another twenty-two minutes.
I could have studied or something, thought Red, somewhat dejectedly, but then I might have been tempted to take a break and see how things were going for Moondancer.
It was just as well, really, because Sunset Shimmer was bound to be there too, and he was always happy not to be within her glaring range. On that note, he absent-mindedly wondered who else was going to show up today.
---
There was a considerable difference between power and prestige.
One could wield societal favor and lack the means to change anything, just as they could shake the earth and sky without much acknowledgement. This was the difference between the average Canterlot noble and a prisoner of Tartarus, or the likes of Discord. Prestige was the show, power the tell.
In the sense that power was the one that held enough sway to tell ponies what was and was not about to happen in the next few minutes, that is.
These were Moon Sky's thoughts as she approached J.A.A. Hoofenburg's Center for Enlightenment, a box wrapped in shiny paper and adorned with a bow balanced on her back. Hoofenburg, Celestia had told her, was an eccentric genius rumored to have plain made up his title acronym, but he had gained the respect of his peers through sheer ability.
Tia said it stood for "Just Ask Already," in lieu of learning by questioning. I would question why he felt a title for such a thing was in order, or how it made any sense as such.
This led to the construction of the Enlightenment Center after his passing, used for all manner of scholarly showings, demonstrations, conventions and get-togethers.
Usually.
Today, there was no such thing planned for the building, a flat nopony interested in using the space save for the ones who had invited her to the birthday party to take place inside. All she had to do was go in, leave the box on a table somewhere, and get through the event with her secret, and her sanity, intact. There were no more excuses. Or reasons. She would attend this event, because she gave her word.
She was going to Moondancer's birthday party.
The moment she stepped through the door to the dining area, she was startled by an explosion of shouts.
"SURPRISE!"
The group of ponies collectively blinked, though Spike The Dragon looked relieved.
"Phew, false alarm!"
Sunset Shimmer sighed. "Dammit, wrong one again." But damned if I'm gonna let her go all puppy-eyes at me for not joining the shout this year.
A guard, Silver Sword, smiled a little. "So this is what it's like on this side of shouting 'happy birthday' at the wrong time."
His partner, Fire Strike chuckled. "By the look on her face, this filly's as lost as we were when we got here."
A light-blue unicorn Moon Sky recognized, the one that had agreed to keep her secret, was sipping punch on a table nearby. "Trixie told you it wasn't her coming."
Twilight looked a little tired. "Well, it's gotta be her sooner or la-" her head whipped toward Trixie, "WHEN DID YOU GET HERE?!"
Trixie raised a single confused eyebrow. "Eight minutes ago? How did you not notice whom you were talking to about the finer points of candle use?"
The newcomer, for her part, appeared quietly confused. Twilight offered her an apologetic smile. "Sorry, Moon Sky, right? I remember seeing you a few times, but I don't think we've been introduced. I'm Twilight Sparkle, this is Sunset Shimmer," the indicated pony nodded once, "Spike,"
He waved. "Hiya!"
"Fire Strike and Silver Sword,"
Luna recognized these guards, but wasn't about to say as much.
"and Trixie!"
Trixie smiled. "Hello again, Moon Sky!"
Aaaand Trixie already knows her, thought Twilight, of course she does. "Well, anyway... welcome to the party!"
"These are Moondancer's friends," said Heart, "you have to make a good first impression!"
Moon Sky nodded a little. "I, yes, welc-I mean-"
"No," said Brain, "you don't say 'welcome' back! You say the opposite!"
"Um... Get out?"
The other party guests stared back at her in confusion. Brain could only facehoof.
Apparently on her own in this trying time, Moon Sky opted for the standard response for a kind gesture. "I mean, thank you," she said with a little bow, hastily changing the topic, "you were discussing candles before?"
Sunset nodded, giving Twilight and Trixie a tired glance. "I made the mistake of asking a simple question around these two..."
---
Earlier that day, Sunset and Spike walked into the Enlightenment Center dining room at the same time, Twilight popping out from behind a table to shout-
"SURPRISE!!"
Spike looked around fearfully. "W-wait, is she here already?!"
A small, cylindrical tube held in her magic, Sunset rolled her eyes. "Relax, Fire Hazard, your mother's just being weird again." It was with a hint of a satisfied smirk that she got two replies at the same time.
"I am not a fire hazard!"
"I am not being weird!"
Still smiling a little at the part neither of them denied, Sunset only addressed the second comment. "Explains why you're shouting 'surprise' for the wrong party."
All present listened for a quarter of a second before remembering that the most likely person to get 'party' -company of beings- confused with 'party' -celebration- wasn't actually in the room to make the joke.
"I was practicing," Twilight picked up, "I reviewed Pony Party Planning by Pleasant Surprise, and chapter one says it's best to practice the shout a few times to get it just right. Not too loud, but not too gentle, or it sounds like you're just saying it kinda weirdly." She smiled a little, glancing at a rectangular box waiting on a nearby table before whispering to the only other entities in the room. "Three guesses what I got Moondancer!"
Sunset wasn't even surprised anymore. "You got her a book."
"Hey," Twilight shot back a little defensively, "with all the parties she's been involved with, I couldn't believe this one wasn't in her bookshelf." She gave a sharp, slightly haughty nod. "She'll thank me for it."
There came rare moments where Spike and Sunset agreed on things. This time it was containing themselves to sharing a look, not saying a word, and letting the moment pass.
However, Twilight seemed to sense that she was being judged and eyed the cardboard tube Sunset was holding. "Okay, Miss Spirit of Hearths Warming, what'd you get her?"
Sunset responded with a shrug, telekinetically setting her gift on the table. "Gift certificate." She got two disapproving looks. "Oh, what did you expect? It's just Moondancer."
The truth, of course, would stay between Sunset and the birthday girl when she opened the tube to find a scroll of original poems by Sunset herself. She had actually kind of enjoyed putting 'Ode to The Sock,' 'This Time's a Freebie,' (full of double-entendre Moondancer could appreciate) and 'The Ways I Didn't Miss You' to paper, but she figured even Moondancer would enjoy the first poem, which asked that she not tell anypony about the scroll in the form of a vaguely threatening limerick.
Spike, looking up at the fiery unicorn, was a little surprised. Given the way she'd approached him earlier, he'd thought his presence at Moondancer's party was her gift today...
---
"Spike The Dragon," began Sunset authoritatively, "you are going to Moondancer's birthday party."
Naturally, Spike looked at her like she was crazy, but with more reason than usual this time. "And why would I wanna do that? I remember how we all haggled her down to a-" he shuddered a little, "-specified free-cuddle hour last year, but if I don't show up at all, I won't even have to be there for that much!" He smirked up at her. "Have fun with that, by the way."
Ordinarily, Sunset would have just scowled or turned red knowing she was due to suffer an unpleasant or embarrassing fate when someone else wasn't, but this time, she just stared back at him, her face solemn. "You are going to attend Moondancer's birthday party, and I'll tell you why."
Spike crossed his little arms. "You can't hurt me, Twilight would never-"
"It's not about her." The scaly twerp's wide-eyed confusion said she had his attention. Good. "There are two ways this can go. One: You go to the party, have some cake, socialize, whatever you want to do, so long as you're there for the hour of affectionate, Moony wrath. Two: You don't go to the party, you stay here, or go somewhere else, do whatever you want for the day." As Spike gave her an unfazed 'Oh, I'm sooo scared' look, she leaned in closer, her voice a deadly whisper. "If you do that, you won't be part of the party, and thus not subject to its rules. If you're not there for the hour, it doesn't apply to you. You'd be free of the specified cuddling time and everything that goes with it, and so would Moondancer."
Spike was clearly sweating (a bizarre feat of dragon biology), but Sunset wasn't done. Standing up straight, she turned away in an aloof fashion. "Me? I'll take my huggy medicine with the peace of mind that when time is up, she'll leave me alone. You, though, she'll come after. She'll know you chose not to let her hug you on her birthday." Then she looked back at him, her face full of dark conviction.
"She will look for you."
"She will find you."
"And she will glomp you. Without mercy. For as long as she wants."
Shrugging, Sunset turned to walk away. "But, if that's how you want it, hope you don't mind sleeping with an eye ope-"
"WAIT," Spike cried out as he jumped to hang from her back leg, nearly in tears with building panic, "PLEASE, TAKE ME WITH YOU!!"
Sunset smirked. "Good boy."
---
Twilight was still giving Sunset a disapproving look when the door opened again, Twilight, Spike, and Sunset all turning to shout at the same time.
"SURPRISE!!"
Silver Sword and Fire Strike blinked, the latter speaking first. "So we've got the right place, at least?" They walked in, Silver Sword levitating three little boxes, one of which was from Shining Armor. It never ceased to amaze Silver how Shining could be the kind of colt to still mail gifts to his sisters' friends every year, and yet remain completely oblivious as to when a filly fancied him, or any possible reason for it. 'Too stupid to die when killed,' indeed.
Twilight tilted her head for a better look. "What're those?” Sudden memory. “No, wait, don't tell me!" She glanced at the book -which totally was a good present!- wrapped on the table nearby, silently wishing she could double-check the chapter she was about to quote. "An element of the unknown is a constant, important presence in a birthday party, at least until all of the gifts are unwrapped. They should remain a mystery until the guest of honor has had ample opportunity to unravel the gift at their own pace, which is often frantic and destructive." She’d forgotten that rule before asking Sunset, but it was too late to undo the mistake now.
There was a group stare before Sunset turned to the two guards. "Moondancer invited you guys?"
They walked in and set the boxes on the table by the book, Silver nodding to Sunset. "Yes, and don't worry, I think she'll appreciate the gifts."
Fire Strike nodded assent before looking over at a separate table to see a modest cake. It was a large rectangle evenly covered in white frosting (almost meticulously so, in fact) and thin lines of red icing to spell out HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MOONDANCER!
"Huh," remarked the guard, "her name is 'Moondancer,' not 'Moon Dancer'? Just one word?"
Spike nodded. "Pony names can be a little weird. No offense."
"None taken," replied Silver Sword with a smile. He nodded to Twilight. "Your brother actually sent us a letter along with the gift with a comment along those lines."
Fire Strike chuckled. "He didn't even know his boss's name until, what, a few days of working for him?"
"That was kind of his point," answered Silver, "what can you do when a title is just part of a pony's name? 'Prince Blue Blood' sounds halfway reasonable when you think about it." He looked at Twilight again. "Come to think of it, we generally refer to you guys as the 'Sparkle' family, even though that's only part of your name."
Fire Strike nodded. "I think an argument could be made for the 'Twilight' family, but that only covers the female members. Even then, even if we assume Equestria is dominated by an all-controlling matriarchy, not everypony's name is even loosely based on those of one or both parents."
"However," continued Silver Sword, "there are some cases of fairly consistent family themes, as with the Apple Family down in Ponyville, or the Pie family not too far away."
"And then there are the ponies that only have one na-"
"YAWN!"
Startled, everypony turned to look at Sunset, who had a very aggravated look on her face. "Next. Topic."
After a moment's awkward silence, Twilight turned toward the cake. "So, how's it look? Sunset and I spent a while-"
"-picking that one out from a shop," Sunset interrupted with a forceful tone, "right, Twilight?"
Blinking once, Twilight nodded. "Right, spent a while at the nearest bakery to find a cake and settled for that one." That was close, she thought, I almost told them we baked and decorated it ourselves! I told Sunset the cake-baking chapter would yield quality information!
Following their first encounter with Celestia's cooking, the two easily agreed that finding a cook book was the way to go. Twilight wasn't initially in favor of hiding the truth, but Sunset had convinced her that:
#1. The designated hugging time would be anywhere from thirty-five to sixty percent more fiercely emphatic if Moondancer knew they worked together to personally bake a cake for her.
#2. The experimental value of the cake's proficiency toward honest taste-testing would be compromised if those ingesting it were aware the bakers were in the room, as ponies are less inclined to be forthcoming with their full opinions when aware that feelings may be hurt in the process. This transpired with Celestia's frosting-on-the-inside abomination, as well. Moondancer was a shameless philanderer, but she'd likely eat a fried saddle and call it delicious if it was served by her smiling friends.
The secret would be kept.
Silver showed only the tiniest smirk. "Really? It took you a while to pick out a plain, white cake with nothing more elaborate than 'Happy birthday, Blank' on it?"
"Yep," Sunset quickly confirmed, "we were a little torn between a fancy, flowery thing with all the bells and whistles or just a cake she could eat without feeling the slightest bit guilty. Practicality was cheaper, too."
Twilight grinned brightly. "And more efficient! I even accounted for the unevenness of-I mean, I made sure the bakery ponies accounted for the difference in icing layers for sectors on which Happy Birthday was written by carving out the words and filling them in with the red icing! Now everyone gets the exact same amount of frosting!"
Spike didn't quite have the heart to tell Twilight that that didn't account for corner pieces and that she probably should have just baked a circular cake if that was the plan. Still, from this day onward, he would remember that beautiful food was a little harder to eat.
Smiling pleasantly, Silver nodded once. "Well, it looks good anyway."
Sunset eyed the cake with uncertainty. "Actually, I'm not sure it's 'done' yet. Moondancer is a grown mare, but shouldn't we be using candles?"
"Depends on the mood," answered Trixie, sitting at a table near Twilight, "and the type of candle!"
"Type of candle?" Twilight really wished she could get her hooves on Pony Party Planning without messing up the paper now, looking at the treasonous wrapping over on the gift table. "I don't remember that in the supplies chapter."
Trixie nodded. "There are thin, cheap candles that burn away fairly quickly, usually only lit for a few minutes and thrown away, thicker, slow-burning scented candles for, eh," she blushed a little, briefly distracted by thoughts of exactly how she'd put such candles to use the day her beloved accepted her, "things fair Moondancer is likely quite familiar with, and even exploding candles spouting colored bursts of flame within certain time-spans!"
Pause.
"You'd probably just go with that first category."
Trying to assess the potential frosting displacement candles would cause so as to be able to arrange them in just such a way that the effect was counteracted for each potential piece of cake, Twilight rubbed her chin. "Do they have spatially-considerate candles?"
---
"They went back and forth for a bit," Sunset wrapped up, "and then you came in."
Moon Sky blinked once. The double-flashback had been a little surreal, but Brain worked it out without too much trouble.
Trixie huffed. "You skipped the part where Trixie deduced that the incoming pony wasn't Moondancer based on differences in gait determined from the sounds of hoofbeats and-"
Sunset ignored her, still addressing Moon Sky. "You can leave your gift on the table, Moondancer should be here soon."
"On that note," inquired the princess in disguise as she surveyed the area, "where is Moondancer?"
---
Birthdays, Hearths Warming, and when she wanted something from her. Those were the times Marble Magnanimity would give her daughter a gift without her having 'earned it' first. Not that Moondancer was broken up about it, her mother had about as much understanding of gift-giving as she did of finding coltfriends. No wonder she gave up years ago.
Magnanimity didn't even look up from her paper-covered desk as she levitated three pens at once. "Here's a dress from the current most popular designer," she said while telekinetically offering the folded, unwrapped dress, "straight from Manehattan. I paid a lot of money for it, so I hope you like it."
"Thanks mother." Moondancer did her best to smile, not that it mattered. "It's... alright, I guess. Now sorry, gotta go."
Magnanimity almost seemed grateful to be able to fully focus on her work as her only child turned to leave, neither saying another word.
---
Sighing, Moondancer shook off the gloom as best she could, smiling for real when she walked out the front door to her 'home.' The nice ponies of Canterlot deserved better than a moody Moondancer, and the not-so-nice ponies would get a cheerful attitude too, whether they wanted it or not! Speaking of things not wanted, she trotted down the street with the fancy dress on her back, still folded. She might not have been a fashion-forward pony, but part of her was sure she'd someday find greater meaning in the token bare-bones of parenting her mother still threw her w-
Moody. If you show up to the party thinking like that, it'll show on your face and Sunny-Bunny will call you Mood-dancer.
The impromptu nickname gave her pause for thought. It was kinda hard to dance when you were moody, the closest she could think of was some kind of emotion-based interpretive dance. Swing-dancing when happy! Death-metal stomps and headbanging when mad or you just saw a spider! Grinding up against other ponies when amorous!
Giggling, she felt the last wisps of the gloom drift away as she made her way to the Enlightenment Center, unaware of two pairs of eyes watching her. For different reasons than she might have hoped.
"Hey," said one dark-orange pegasus stallion as he brushed his mildly unkempt, dirty-blonde moustache, his mane not in much better condition, "you recognize that filly?"
"Aye, Oi do," the huge, gruff earth pony beside him said through a thick trottingham accent, his dark-brown coat and messy, black mane that hung down over his eyes not in much better condition than his friend's, "she'z'at goil wot's Magnanimity's dought'a, eh?"
"Yes," replied the first, starting to smile, "she's the only heir of a rather rich family. One that would, surely, just go to pieces if that poor, sweet filly were to vanish."
The second nodded. "Aye, Aye, it'd be a real tragedy, that."
There was a pause as the pegasus turned to look at his partner with a deadpan stare. "And they'd probably be willing to pay a lot of money to have her back, were such a thing to happen."
"Oi 'spoze so. Wassat got'ta do wif the two ov us?"
There was never any sense in mincing words with some ponies. "Kidnapping, Charlie," he said in a loud whisper, “I'm saying we should kidnap and ransom that unicorn!"
"Oh." Charlie stared after Moondancer for a few seconds. "Wot’s th'a plan, Cook?"
Cook smiled deviously.
Taking a shortcut through a slightly dark, vacant alleyway, Moondancer hummed a merry tune until she was tapped on the shoulder. Turning, she smiled. "Oh, hi! What can I do for you gentlecolts?"
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Th-this is what I wanted? I don't know what I want!
I'm excited for it anyway, though.
Aww, poor Moondancer, she just wants some luvin' (in a platonic way) and a thoughtful gift from her mommy dearest. Then she keeps her good mood up on the outside when walking the streets of Canterlot. The Moondancer and Pinkie Pie parallels are so great I have to wonder when they'll actually meet and bring Ponyville to its knees with non-stop partying and orgies.
That said, Twilight doesn't even notice Trixie was there for eight whole minutes again? Trixie is good, since she probably didn't get a Surprise either.
Yeah....I don't think those two guys are even going to slow Moondancer down.
The Glomper of Doom!
Welp add another two colts to the Didn't know what they were getting themselves in to category.
Nope. I wanted SunLight.
(Oddest ship name, ever.)
Oh no! Poor Moondancer... She might be late for her party!
No one is ever going to keep that accent consistent. I'd rate it Impossible+3. Good luck trying though.
I still want Red x Moondancer
It would probably be too much to hope for this to get Moondancer's mother's attention. And that's assuming Moondancer stays kidnapped long enough for someone to notice. Well, Twilight dealt with kidnappers before, though that was when she thought her BBBFF was involved. Though maybe there's a chance Red Hope could help out somehow. Not to mention a certain Princess of the Night.
Charlie and Cook are going to kidnap one of Celestia's personal students (an incredibly powerful unicorn) ... on her birthday ... when Celestia's other two students (one of whom is known to be a borderline dark mage) and Luna are waiting for her ... and if Moondancer is kidnapped or assaulted Celestia will find out ...
How exactly can C&C be smart enough to recognize Moondancer just walking by, but dumb enough to not realize the shite-storm they are about to unleash on themselves?
The drama & hilarity, she begins ...
Oh, and the fact that Twilight and Sunset cared enough to make Moondancer's cake themselves is just adorable
Might I reccomend trying to just be her friend at first then then eventually getting closer?
Heh.
It's funny because show don't tell.
I see.
Heh.
Heh.
Ah.
Right.
Clever.
You've got a scary creepy streak.
Somewhat, yes.
Clever Sunset.
Oh dear.
Oh dear.
Wow, that's, got to suck.
... Your mind is weird.
Oh god that's hard to decipher.
She's attends Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns. Emphasis on GIFTED. You're going to fail, and hilariously.
Oh dear.
Well I do like shenanigans...
I pity these poor fools.
The stallions that plan to foalnap Moondancer will probably end up worse than the last foalnappers in this story.
Who wants to bet Moondancer arrives in time for the party a skip on her step while living behind two traumatized attempted foalnapers?
I foresee a couple of reversed Stockholm Syndromes in the making.
Jolly fun, tally ho!