After a fistfight, Diamond Tiara has finally realises that she is madly in love with Applebloom, and wants to make up for all of those years of bullying. Even if it means serving the young Apple
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I have a feeling that it's not the only time when Diamond comes in this story...
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First off, it's "Apple Bloom", not "Applebloom". Also, it feels kinda contrived, but, well, that's how many clopfics feel. The bigger problem, however, is fast pacing. The story barely started and suddenly, they're already fucking. And, frankly, it's not the best clop scene I've seen (though also not the worst). "Other cow noises" kinda broke the mood. Changing the font size should be used sparingly, if ever. Also, the narration jumps from past to present tense.
the only complaint i have here is that the dialogue isn't separated. anytime someone starts talking again, the speech and the descriptions for it should start a new paragraph.
You should probably add this to a few groups.
I actually liked this. This should continue.
Interesting. Continue.
Lol I read it. Didn't hate it.
However! What is it with fiction and these unrealistic breast sizes?
In my opinion that's not cute.
Wait so Diamond is not the only one!?
wow. Such a rushed sex scene in 2k words. You also managed to get a fight scene and a couple bits of exposition beforehand.
meh, what the heck. I like reading it anyways. Gives me ideas for my own Diamondbloom clopfic
MORE please
Ok I do actually like this so far, but I have to say a longer build up would have been far more satisfying.
Just the description gave me a boner. If that's anything to go by, I can't wait to read the rest!!!
Try some footdom in the next chapter ;)
It was interesting to see Apple Bloom being the one on top for a change.
oh molestia this is so twisted i must have more
5567660 The herd of cows at Sweet apple acres
5568835 Glad to help!
5570170 You shall get it
5570397 I lose it when someone says 'plot'
Lyra: this story needs more plot
Would you be willing to share some of yours?
Lyra: wha- Shut up!
5570915 Wow...
5572537 Hmmm... I think I can do that
5576729 Then you shall receive it!
Wow, Type fail to the highest degree
5580157 I don't think it'll hurt in the long run, but it's something to keep in mind is all. It's fun to see Diamond Tiara actually get some punishment for her bratty behavior though.
After something so cute and adorable from the last story you give me this?
Nice, you got my full support!
5581167 Oh there will be more, along with fleshing out the characters a bit more
5582833 Trust me, this came out of nowhere. I was working with another writer to write a futanari Dinky hooves and DT fic and this came out as a result of brainstorming
And thanks for the fave and support!
Different character speaking = new paragraph. Always.
5585523 Thank you!
While it isn't the worst offender I've seen it still makes my eyes hurt trying to read it.
Well that was something
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May Luna have mercy on your soul indeed...
And on mine for liking it...