On a psychiatrist's couch, we can make a lot of development, and Beatrix Lulamoon is no exception to this. After talking with Doctor Dex about how she lives, she comes to the understanding that she actually just feels alone.
Chapters (2)
- Member Since 19th Dec, 2013
- offline last seen Aug 27th, 2019
Fedorable Deer
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Fedorable Deer
Joined 19th Dec, 2013 ·
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A pretty nice story. The only thing that really got to me was that Trixie accepted everything Doctor Dex. said way too quickly. She's been shown to be stubborn, even to the point of trying to stop that Ursa when she knew well and good that she had no chance. Maybe if it was stretched out, if this was her fifth or sixth visit, or maybe if she had reached an epiphany on her own it would be stronger. But for what it's worth, not too bad.
It's at least worth a like.
5531287 Hmmmmm, you're right.
Do decide on a tense. Present or past. Other than that clean up your grammar a bit. Put a bit more effort into your descriptions like you did with the smile. Don't capitalize "IT" you don't need to. In any case I am awaiting more.
5531904 Alright, for the tense I just have a terrible habit of that and have been working on trying to fix it.
5531953 Yea I understand. I applaud that effort.
It's a good start. Has plenty of potential. Work on adding details. It felt very short. I'll follow to see where this leads.
Small error there
5532331 wow didn't even notice, thank you.
5532316 And I'll do my best to get longer works out.
I love the premise! Just a few punctuation errors like quotation marks are missing on some lines but I really hope we get a sequel or a new chapter.
5532517 Will probably do a sequel, but I want to try other things too. Thank you very much by the way.
I'V DONE A DRAMATIC READ OF YOUR STORY
5533547 Wow, thank you so much. Like for someone to do something like that.
What a curious and odd little story.
I approve!
5577555 lol, well thank you for adding this odd little story into your library. It might have been odd, and lonely without it
5577571 It was a nice little one. All my stories are depressing. LOL not really. But it was a nice change of pace seeing Trixie go to a psych.
This is very entertaining thanks for sharing it with us.
5580025 Thank you for reading it.
Wow! This fanfiction is pretty cool! As a new writer you must've worked really hard on this, I can't wait to see your future work.
9301909
Hey thanks
9301911
No problem, i'm just a friendly stranger passing through to see awesome writing owo.
9301912
if you continue to lie to me I will become livid
9301914
fuck you got me im your gf